Beyond - Legends Relative Force - Part II - Author Announcement 3/13

I miss a few updates and look what happens!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO NOT LET HAN'S YOU KNOW WHAT ANYWHERE NEAR SHE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And FABIO has been insulting my Han. I hope Leia is Preggers. And...He's got to go. Painfully.









I CAN"T STAND IT. MAKE HAN HAN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

RedGold- So Mara is willing to rescue Luke now... that girl has it bad and she don't even know it!! - hehe. But she's using the excuse that her ship is torn up, and she needs Luke's ship to leave. for last... um... there is a cure... right? *been too long since read COPL* - Well, only the Hapan Gun of Command was in CoPL, not the Hapan Mind-wipe, which I think might be a product of my own twisted imagination. The Gun of Command made someone obey you, but it wore off after a while. The mind-wipe on the other hand... muahahhahaha.

academygrad88- poor Lando, he is getting a bit of a complex- First Mara shoots him in the knee, and now Teneniel rejects him as her love-slave. Yup, you have to feel sorry for the guy.

Jedi-2B- Loved the image of the bride of Frankenstein and her mad scientist, down in their evil laboratory, clamping a metal cap with wires onto Han's head. How many twisted authors can continuously come up with stuff like this? - I blame it all on the Dr. Pepper. Every bit of it, except the concubine costume. That I blame on you!

dm1- Noooooo! You are evil, PonyTricks!- I LOVE being evil! - I've written a lot of humor stories lately, so this one was just itching to get out. Most groveling and eager to please? I don't think I'd like Han like that, it's just not him. - Nope. Han wouldn't like it a bit.... if he had anything to say about it, that is. Somehow I have the feeling Luke is going to need to help Han and Leia out. - Hmm. Luke is going to have a lot on his plate for the next several posts.

Arkady - OK, so Lukes going to be alright. But who's going to rescue Han? And how much more are you going to put him through first? And where is the scimpy concubine outfit? - So many questions! Let's see.... do you think Han can be rescued? How much more will Han go through? A LOT! *ducks from the rotten tomatoes that everyone will be throwing at me for the next three or so posts.... And the concubine outfit?

MirandaFair- The evilness you're putting Han through- I just love putting Han through heck and back. It's so much fun. - I imagine he was always the last kid to be picked in gym when dodgeball was the game of the day- LOL! Now I have this image in my brain of Han tormenting Lando on the playground when they were out for recess!

Liesl- Artoo reminds me of a loyal little dog...cute and always helping his master. - Yes, he is. Artoo is such a good droid. Unlike that annoying Threepio. - I was thinking...if Han becomes one of Ta'a Chume's concubines and Leia is forced to marry to Isol-dork...doesn't that mean Han is sort of - but not officially - a stepfather-figure to Leia?- If that's the case, Leia will have lots and lots of father-in-laws. But I would think Ta'a Chume has a lawfully wed husband locked up in a closet somewhere. Isoldork did have to have a father, I think!

padawan lunetta- Now Mara's going to have to save Lukie and Lando from the Singing Mountain Clan! - And don't forget those Nightsisters.... they're not about to give up so easily! I'd most CERTAINLY pick my Lukie!- Of course you would! Poor Lando! Doesn't anyone want him? But poor Qui-Gon and Leia..they'd better rescue Han soon! - TOO LATE! *sobs hysterically* IT'S TOO LATE! *looks around... wonders who could write such evilness for Poor Hannie*

ccp - Bummer all around - Yup! - And you ain't seen nuttin' yet!

Golden_Jedi- no brainwashing Han! - *hides in a bush*

RebelMom - Funny how three of the men in this story are in danger of being slaves to women. - LOL! That's what happens when you go to Dathomir and Hapes!

kimmi - DO NOT LET HAN'S YOU KNOW WHAT ANYWHERE NEAR

 

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*looks down the big hole*

Well, that ain't good.


You are evil lady... very evil...

I'm so proud!

 

A flash of something - rage? humiliation? - twisted across the Corellian's facial features for a brief instant before dullness clouded his hazel eyes.

Please tell me that the procedure failed and he's faking until he's alone with the Queen and can strangle her... Yes?

 

HE IS LICKING HER SHOES. OH H*LL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things are kinda sorta workin out for Luke and Han is LICKING SOME OLD LADIES SHOES!!!!! OH H*LL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


For this you must pay. I think for that I will go to my story, have Leia fall madly in love with Cillian and run off with FABIO MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!


LIKE I WOULD EVER BE THAT CRUELTO MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS.

And 3 more posts of this torture. I don't think I can take it. I might write something evil myself.

To self. Don't give in to hate

Han is LICKING SOME OLD LADIES SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! H*LL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


H*LL NO



LOL YOU KNOW I REALLY LOVE IT I'm a glutton for punishment.


You won't believe this a Fabio Nationwide commercial just came on TV. I almost fell out of my chair laughing at his hair blowing in the wind.

 

Those Hapan Royals are really sick. They have some serious illness finding pairs on their own kind. No wonder that world was isolated.

It's good to know that you are a member of the Han Solo Fun Club Pony Tricks otherwise I would start getting afraid of poor H/L.

Let?s that Queen partly brain washed and turned to a garbage collecting slave in an all men?s society.

Congratulation Pony Tricks your story successfully made me upset enough to delurk and post a replay.

Zsuzsa

 

Was your milk curdled on your cereal this morning? Because that was just mean! Han licking that old wench's shoes? And no scimpy outfit. You really are evil.

Arkady

 

Okay, now you have gone too far!! LICKING HER KRIFFIN SHOES???? It's something I would not have thought of, but, then again, I do love your overactive imagination! But not LICKING SHOES!!! YUK!!

I hope Han is faking and I certainly hope something happens tonight that prevents him from joining the Queen Mother in the sack.... Double yuk..

I've been lurking *hides face behind hands*, so I decided to say HI today because the licking of shoes has finally brought me to respond.. Yeah, thats it, shock the readers into responding.

I think I'm having a heart attack.

 

Looks like not all of Han was mind wiped. there's something left. Bleck on the shoes.

Loved Luke and Lando's banter while they escaped. I especially love the last line.

So after several posts of evilness, there will be some not so evil posts?

 

I'm thinking Han is not completely gone but is just bideing his time.
How is everyone else going to end up on Dathomir.
Great update!

 

I for one would still read even without cookies, dear Mary Sue.

But I'm hungry, so, you know, that's a good thing for me.

I'm SO very excited about the slave!Han image - a nice disturbing characterization that makes this story mega interesting.

Oh, and, by the way, I live in Portland, OR. And we rarely get snow period, even in December and January, so winter weather in March seems just a bit, I don't know, apocalyptic.

Keep the weirdness going! I've seen how very depressing you can end stories ... let's see the disturbingness continue!

 

Another wonderful update. Luke does have a thing for those readheads.

AG88

 

A flash of something - rage? humiliation? - twisted across the Corellian's facial features for a brief instant before dullness clouded his hazel eyes. But that would be impossible, the Queen decided as her slave leaned forward and obeyed her command. I don't know, that flash was probably something real(I hope)!

Leia, you really should listen to the guys more often. For a diplomat and politician, you sure are reading everything wrong here.

 

You must have had sooo much fun writing this chapter! Evil!

"He will add variety to your nights, my Queen...

Somehow that image just doesn't want to stick.

Oh! I hope Han is just playing along with the Queen Mother's game. The look he gives her let's me hope some of Han Solo is still there.

Mara snorted. "I can't believe this, Skywalker. Do you recruit everyone you meet, or do you just have a thing for women with red hair?"

I love the banter between the characters...you have fantastic comedic timing.

And the end...! Looks like they've stumbled onto a major "sink hole."

 

Ooh least Leia's suspecting the Royal Family now! Loved the imagery of the shadows on Isolder's face making his grin look predatory. Considering he was aiming it at Leia, I'd say that's quite accurate!

STUPID TA'ACHUME!!! *hauls her off for a good beating* Making Poor dear sweet Hannie-Bear lick her yucky slippers! Love how he still retains some defiance! Me thinks they can save his memories after all! Muahahhahaha!

I KNEW it was Mara shooting!

Mara snorted. "I can't believe this, Skywalker. Do you recruit everyone you meet, or do you just have a thing for women with red hair?"

Luke blushed. "She can become a good Jedi," he said defensively. "I don't meet very many Force-sensitives as it is."

"Well," Lando drawled out. "Now you've got a planet full of them to pick from." LOL!!! Loved this exchange. *sniffs* Though personally I think Lukie should have a thing for brunetttes. *tosses brown hair*

Can't wait for tomorrow! Wonderful job!

Need.More.NOW!!!

Edit: Oh, wait, is it the dreaded Chapter 12??? *carts off Lukie and hides*

 

*looks at cookies*

Are you trying to bribe us, PT?

But really, to make Han lick her shoes? That's...despicable, even for Ta'a Chume.

 

I need an update

I've got a little line in Chapter 23 of my story that is just for you.I plan on posting that today. I'm sure you'll catch it. It involves THE LICKING OF SHOES!!! And see what you made me do to Leia. You knocked all the mush right out of me.



BTW. Thank you. I needed a little meaness to get my story going again.

 

RedGold- You are evil lady... very evil... I'm so proud! - *takes bow* Thank you!

Golden_Jedi- Please tell me that the procedure failed and he's faking until he's alone with the Queen and can strangle her... Yes?- Errr... *looks around nervously* : D *shoves a large plate of brownies at Golden_Jedi.

kimmi- Things are kinda sorta workin out for Luke and Han is LICKING SOME OLD LADIES SHOES!!!! OH H*LL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - That's the best reaction yet! LIKE I WOULD EVER BE THAT CRUEL TO MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS- Uh huh. Like Leia would never go all darkside and Force choke... CHOKE, mind you, Poor Hannie-bear? I might write something evil myself. - All right!


zsuzsa- They have some serious illness finding pairs on their own kind. No wonder that world was isolated.- LOL! That is probably true. And just think, they have (if I recall correctly) not ONE planet, but EIGHTY under their control! Those poor men, they really do need to rise up and revolt. Congratulation Pony Tricks your story successfully made me upset enough to delurk and post a replay.- If I knew it took such evilness, I would have made Han a boot licking slave in the FIRST chapter!

Arkady- Was your milk curdled on your cereal this morning? Because that was just mean! Han licking that old wench's shoes? And no scimpy outfit. You really are evil. - I LOVE being evil! - And the funny part is.... things keep going downhill for Han and Leia until about Wednesday or Thursday.

Half-Pint- I've been lurking *hides face behind hands*- Ha! *points* another reader delurked by the image of Han licking Ta'a Chume's shiny shoes! - It's something I would not have thought of, but, then again, I do love your overactive imagination! - Blame the Dr. Pepper. I do. -I hope Han is faking and I certainly hope something happens tonight that prevents him from joining the Queen Mother in the sack- Oh, dear. Yet another reader hoping Han is faking it.

RebelMom- Looks like not all of Han was mind wiped. there's something left- Don't forget, this is a new device, and it probably should have had a warning label that says - 'Caution - Results May Vary' - So after several posts of evilness, there will be some not so evil posts? - Hmm. Maybe.... or maybe there are only three of four posts left!

ccp - I'm thinking Han is not completely gone but is just bideing his time.- You think? *pats ccp on the head* - How is everyone else going to end up on Dathomir. - Dathomir? Han and Leia aren't going to end up on Dathomir. Unless Ta'a Chume decides she doesn't like Han as her slave, and sends him there as a present! *thinks about redoing entire ending now*

KnightedRogue - for one would still read even without cookies, dear Mary Sue- Awww! Thank you! I'm counting on you to still be reading when the middle of next week arrives, and I've been even MEANER to Han and Leia than I've been so far! Oh, and, by the way, I live in Portland, OR. And we rarely get snow period, even in December and January, so winter weather in March seems just a bit, I don't know, apocalyptic. - Oh! Yes, that would be odd. Must be that global warming we keep reading about! - I have relatives that live in Boring, OR and in the state of Washington, so I know they don't get very cold weather. *hands KR a down jacket*

academygrad88- Luke does have a thing for those redheads- Yes, I think he does!

dm1- I don't know, that flash was probably something real(I hope)! - You think so? Muahahahaha - Leia, you really should listen to the guys more often. For a diplomat and politician, you sure are reading everything wrong here- hehe. But, to be fair to Leia, who would thin

 

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Okay. Han and Queen what's her face in the sack? I think I lost my appetite for the day... Now, I am completely grossed out.

YUCK.

DOUBLE YUCK.

YUCK, YUCK, and YUCK.

How in the world are you going to get out from this one I'll never know. A reversal in time and space perhaps?

 

I know you didn't. #**@#**. H*LL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!


That is torture. That is worse than force choking Han. She might need to force choke him again.NOW.And Ta'a Chume. Forget the force choke, she needs to be tortured slowly and dismembered.

GROSS. WRETCH. PUKE. PUKE.

Oh I can't take it. I can't take it.


Bad,Bad PonyTricks, Bad

I may have to do something rash. I may have to write a Cillian and Leia love scene. Yeah, thats it. I'm gonna do it. Just remember. You brought this on youself!!!!

 

You are going to be in so much trouble...