Beyond Reluctant Heroes -- a BP Jacen vignette in light of recent events

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ArnaKyle, Mar 19, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. ArnaKyle Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2000
    star 4
    Reluctant Heroes -- a BP Jacen vignette in light of recent events

    I know, I might not please everyone with this, so I'll tell you up front. This is, so to speak, my feelings on the current world situation. The basic plot is this-- Jacen contemplates his position as a son, as a citizen of the galaxy, as a Jedi, and as a person on the brewing war after Balance Point. I hope you enjoy, and will not be overly angry with me.



    Can I do this? Can I watch my world fall apart? Can I aid in the destruction of my world-- of other people's worlds? Jacen didn't know how to answer that. His hands trembled in each other, feeling the cold skin of his palms clasped together, trying to squeeze away the confusion, the hurt.

    The Yuuzhan Vong had hurt his mother; they had already begun crumbling his world. They were aiming to destroy not only his family, but his entire way of life. Who would be next? His mother had been the example set, the statement that they wanted to make of their power. Leia was one person, but she was his mother. How would he have acted if it had been a complete stranger? Could he, would he have saved them the way he did his mother?

    Anakin seemed so sure of himself, so sure that his duty in the universe was to rid the world of evil. Jaina was fighting it, the entire galaxy was fighting it. And he felt alone, questioning his own beliefs. Jacen stood up from the hard metal bench the Falcon offered and paced back and forth. He had just returned from checking on his mother, and a very distressed Han Solo had sent him away.

    Away.

    He wondered where exactly his part came in if he didn't want to fight it. Innocent people died because of the Vong, and suddenly, the war had become one more step personal. Chewbacca's death had already cut deep into the family, and another heartache given by the Vong was stepping close to the line. In a galaxy with so many species and creatures, the Vong were not even able to be categorized as inhuman-- they were simply evil.

    Jacen couldn't stop shaking. It wasn't the first time he had to kill, but it felt as though it were. He felt angry that he had let it happen, that it had to happen to someone so close to him. There was still blood on his shirt from where he had carried his mother in his arms. Stained with the mark of pain and war, he felt unclean. He ripped the shirt from his back and threw it on the floor in disgust.

    He stared a long time at the stain of red on his shirt, knowing that that blood had been spilled by his own mother, an innocent victim. Jacen knew red would be a familiar color in the coming?days, weeks, months, years? How many more would die? How much more blood would be spilled? How much more innocent blood? Leia didn't deserve that. Innocent people were targets now. If they had aimed to hurt him, if they had tried to kill him, a target capable of defense?

    But then, he wondered if he was. You hesitated, he accused himself, slamming a fist against the cold metal siding of the Falcon. His mother was bleeding, her presence flickering in the Force like a candle in the wind. Jacen frowned to himself, suddenly understanding how Anakin felt after Chewbacca's death. Anakin was so mad at himself, so furious that he felt responsible for Chewbacca.

    And now, Jacen felt responsible for Leia. He remembered how Anakin had channeled his anger, wanting to avenge Chewie with all the hellfire and holocausts he could create. Jacen suddenly felt numb, wondering if revenge wasn't the answer. He was miserable with himself, but at the same time, it had been the Vong that had done that to Leia, the Vong were the ones destroying the galaxy fragment by fragment and star by star.

    This war was becoming a personal gamble. Not only was there family, not only was there innocent lives across the universe, there was Jacen Solo, not so selfless as he strove to be. Jacen had pondered before what it would be like to make such a sacrifice for the galaxy and what it would be like to die. He wondered if his life would slip awa
  2. Jedi_Anakin_Solo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2001
    star 5
    Wow. I can't even think of anything to say. That was just amazing, Arn. You captured Jacen's character as amazingly well as I well knew you were capable of. Great work :).
  3. Jedi_Johnson Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 2002
    star 5
    Are you Matt Stover in disquise? You must be to write Jacen this well. Wow... I am in awe. *is stunned speechless by this great piece of work*

    J_J

    BTW, its good to see I'm not the only one writing about Jacen.
  4. Rogue_of-Peace Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2002
    star 4
    ::coughs at J_J's direction:: :D

    Nah, if it was Stover he would have a lot of controversy.
    Though this is powerful, emotional writing... characterisation is dead on, this is the Jacen who hadn't yet learned "Choose, and act", and is fretting over not knowing what path he should take.

    If only he knew what being a reluctant hero would bring him...
  5. ArnaKyle Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2000
    star 4
    Wow, thanks!

    Jedi_Anakin_Solo: Thanks so much! I'm glad you had high expectations on me, and I'm even happier I met them. ;) After all, I couldn't injustice Jacen like that... It's hard to get back into NJO since I haven't read anything since Traitor, and I skipped a lot in the middle...and also since I haven't written fanfic since Valentine's day, and NJO since...Blue Orchids. Dang. ;)

    Jedi_Johnson: LOL! I wish I could be Matt Stover and sell books, but alas I'm not, I'm just a sixteen year old girl that psychotically believes Jacen Solo is her soulmate. ;) I've spent a lot of time musing over Jacen's character though (we tend to relate well with one another), so I'm glad you liked my characterization. Also, I will be happy to check out your Jacen story-- it's a rarity to find other authors who write him.

    Rogue_of-Peace: Ah yes, the Stover controversy. Much as I love the riddles of Traitor and the philosophical musing, I have to say that as far as the human aspect of Jacen goes, Balance Point had the fairer representation. Kathy Tyers really gave life to Jacen as a normal kid, afraid of the choices before him. I think that in a time like now, it's important to show humanity and compassion that we can all relate to, GFFA or not. And I agree-- poor Jacen didn't know what he was getting itno. ;)
  6. ArnaKyle Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2000
    star 4
    Man, I know I shouldn't do this, but....I'm gonna up my own fic.

    Up, up, and awaaaaaaaay!
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.