Beyond - Legends Remnant ? post-NJO series of vignettes -- Chapter III up 6/19!

Dusk and Dawn ? a post-NJO one-shot (angst, some romance?)

I wrote this last night, and I?m not really satisfied with it, but I thought I?d post it, mostly just to tide over the people who read Joy in the Morning until I post my next fic.

NOTE: This was inspired by SaberBlade?s depressingly, poignantly beautiful one-posters, specifically the best fic I have ever read, A Strange Thing. If you have not read her stuff, do so at once. I?m practically plagiarizing, but she?s graciously given me permission to post this. Thank you so much!
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Dusk and Dawn

?Life is a circle. Night can only last so long. Winter gives way to spring. Death and life swirl together till they are indistinguishable. You cannot hold on to the tattered remains of sorrow forever.?

?Well, it seems the philosopher has become a poet as well.?

?Perhaps. You?re trying to change the subject again, Tahiri. Listen to me. You cannot mourn forever. That?s the last thing he would ever want. He knew the importance of living while you?re alive. You?ve forgotten. You don?t have to forget him. Just forget the pain.?

We would have some variation of this conversation at least once a week. Every time I turned around, he seemed to be there. He would corner me in the hall, sit with me?uninvited?in the mess, knock on my door right after I?d given off a burst of pain in the Force.

I hated him.

Oh, I loathed him. He intruded into my routine. I had found a semblance of comfort in the familiar, and I was well-acquainted with sorrow. I was certain that that was the best way that I could pay tribute to Anakin and his life and his sacrifice. It was my way of never forgetting. And when the pain started to fade--even just a little--I would clutch it even tighter. Jacen, in ways that I could not understand, would pry the fingers of my soul apart. Sometimes?most times?it was just a little, but it was enough that wisps of the pain would escape. Looking back, the times I think he accomplished this were not when he would give me one of his increasingly poetic lectures, but when he would just sit down beside me and be silent. Hours and hours would pass while we sat there in silence and sometimes I would even forget he was there. I would float in the currents of peace that seemed to emanate from him always. Then something would remind me of his presence and I would feel the hatred bubbling up inside me once again.

Yes, I hated him. I think that made him try harder.

The one thing Jacen never does is give up. I think that?s the predominate Solo/Skywalker trait: determination. Or perhaps that?s second to the compulsive need to save the galaxy. Anyways, try as I might to get him to just go away?and I?m pretty good at that when I really try?I could not shake him. He came back from wherever he?d been with the Yuuzahn Vong and burrowed under my skin, fixed himself to my soul and stayed there.

?Tahiri, you?re poisoning yourself. You?re driving out everything inside you that he loved. That?s far more a betrayal of him than forgetting could ever be. I guarantee you he would rather you forget him than forget the parts of you that made you the other half of him.?

You can get used to anything, I suppose, and I grew used to having Anakin?s brother constantly there, in the background of my life. He was simply there, just like the pain, just like the memories. Just like the War.

We should have known they wouldn?t be beaten that easily. Not that anyone but me?and Jacen, I suppose?would call the first time around easy. True, there was massive loss of life, but it was so short. Yes, five years is short in the grand scheme of things. This one will last far longer.

I watched them die. Jedi, defenders, politicians, innocent civilians. We were forced to flee. We loaded up in the ships, and started our never-ending voyage across the galaxy. Jacen and I ended up with his parents, of course. That was the easiest time; the Falcon and the Jade Shadow II h

 

I did not cry, I did not cry...ahh, who am I kidding? VERY powerful and well written, also incredibly sad.

And when the pain started to fade--even just a little--I would clutch it even tighter. Jacen, in ways that I could not understand, would pry the fingers of my soul apart. Sometimes?most times?it was just a little, but it was enough that wisps of the pain would escape. Looking back, the times I think he accomplished this were not when he would give me one of his increasingly poetic lectures, but when he would just sit down beside me and be silent. Hours and hours would pass while we sat there in silence and sometimes I would even forget he was there.

I loved this part, because it's true that sometimes we seek to hold onto the pain because it feels like a betrayal if we don't. You did a wonderful job of portraying grief in all its various manifestations. Superb work!

 

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful! You captured Tahiri's character really well, and since I find her one of the hardest characters to write, I envy you that. I love how you showed the changes in the relationship, from hate to acceptance to love. I especially like how you managed to insert the conversation into flashback; I thought that was really well done, a good idea, and the conversations were brilliant. You managed to capture both Jacen and Tahiri completely here - two of the hardest characters for me - and I applaud this story.

Though now I want to see you do stories about the other "families"!

-Saber

 

Wonderful

 

It's brilliant... Really good.
Even if it IS Jacen/Tahiri. I liked it.

 

VaderLvr: I almost cried, I almost cried, I almost cried!

I hate angst!! But I loved this!!! I think mushy, emotional, angsty things are okay when they portray human truths. And there are alot of truths in here!

Wow.... So sad! Why so sad?!!


Great job! ~M

 

Absolutly beautiful. I read "Joy comes in the Morning", but I was just a lurker. But after enjoying another of your stories I decided I better reply. This is very sad but also very sweet. keep up the good work.

 

x 1138!!!

Leia sacrificed herself. That?s the only way to phrase it. In a last desperate attempt for peace, she went straight to the enemy. She knew we had no chance if we fought. Perhaps, just perhaps, she said, diplomatic relations could do what aggressive negotiations could not. All of us knew it wouldn?t work. And she knew better than any. But she died in the service of the galaxy she?d led, fighting again for peace.

Didn't she learn anything from Elegos A'Kla?

 

Geez, this is a wonderful vignette. I know sometimes the emotion of different stories and viggies on these forums is strong and powerful, but I think this one touches me more than any of the others. Maybe it's the simplicity of it all, maybe it's the gradual progression of the relationship, or maybe it's the absence of steamy mush--whatever the case, I think that there is nothing pretentious or exaggerated in this story, and I can't find the right way to explain why it's so good.

Seriously, another vignette this excellent and you might have me sold on Jacen/Tahiri instead of the Jacen/Tenel Ka that's been my dream these past five years.

 

VaderLVR64- Did I really make you cry? Thank you very much; I poured a lot of myself into this; the hardest part for me was portraying her grief in a realistic way. I?m flattered you think I managed to capture a bit of it!

Saber- Thank you! She can be a rather complex character, but I see quite a bit of myself in her. I didn?t want to rush the relationship, but to make it seem that it was built on genuine respect and mutual trust, in addition to love. I struggled with the conversations, I?m glad to know you think I conveyed what I was trying to! I?m thinking about doing something like this?either a spin-off or a continuation. It might be fun to do it from Jaina or Kyp?s point of view?or even Valin or Wyn?s.

AvenKiel- Thank you!

djcati- Thank you! I know?I?m a little weird when it comes to my ?ships?

Marsa- I don?t like reading depressing stuff that is depressing for the sake of depression, either. I think one of the main ideas I try to communicate in all of my writing is that of hope. That no matter how dark things seem, there is always hope. Angst can, to me, be a way to communicate that. I?m thrilled you enjoyed it anyways!

iluvjag- Thank you! I?m glad you decided to reply!

JediMasterKobe- Oh, come on? I was trying to think of a befitting way for Leia to die; she?s not a warrior, she?s a diplomat. And besides, they didn?t really have much of a chance anyways?

TheCrazyRodian- Wow. I think that?s one of the most beautiful compliments I have ever been given. I?m not really comfortable writing steamy mush?most people try to substitute sex for love and in my mind they aren?t equivalent; ?mush? is a manifestation of love, not the other way around. Anyways, that?s my rant on that. Oooh?a convert is sighted! Jacen and Tahiri are my new ?ship now?so you might be seeing some more stuff?outside of my full-length fics. And if you really liked this, you definitely should read A Strange Thing. I?ll give you my guarantee that you?ll love it!

 

Goodness gracious that was beautiful. I fell in love right along with her.

Oh yeah and I bawled my eyes out too!

Great great job

 

Beautiful.

~~Jilly

 

TKL- Thank you! I'm flattered you liked it, because I hold your opinion in high regard. Who wouldn't be in love with Jacen? I teared up writing it.

Jilly- Thank you!

 

Up!

 

So what's the word on a spin-off or continuation? Because I would like to see it, if one's on the way...

-Saber

 

Well...I can almost guarantee a continuation... of some sort. The only question is when.

 

Or perhaps that?s second to the compulsive need to save the galaxy. I don?t know why?.but that was soooooooo funny!! The rest was simply awesome!

Flame

 

Flaming_Sword- I liked that line, too! Thank you!

 

Wow. Loved it. Angsty, but with a happy-sad ending. Perfect! Wish everyone wrote so well.

~*~ Austyn

 

Yet another one I missed...I seem to be doing that a lot these days


Beautiful,really beautiful,and sad

 

This needs mad ups real fast-like. Everyone should read this.

 

Austyn- Gee, thanks! I always try to balance out any angst in my stories so as not to become overwhelmingly depressing.

Ireth- You sure don't miss many! Thank you!

TheCrazyRodian- Thanks for the up!

 

Sunshine and Shadow

Sorry it took so long, but here?s the next installment. I'm not really satisfied with it, but some of ht ones coming up are better, so I hope you'll hold on.

This time it?s Jaina?s turn.



?So, goddess, what do you think??

?I don?t know?it seems too quiet. Like the calm right before the storm. I don?t think it?s over, somehow. The shadow?s falling again.?

?I look forward and I see sunshine.?

?I hope you?re right.?


In a way, he was. In a strange, ironic, almost sadistic way. We have sunshine now. A strange sunshine. It seems paler, less golden than when I was a child. But sunshine nonetheless.

But first came the shadow.

The War was over, and I had survived. So many I loved had not, but I had. That gave me a little bit of hope. Enough to want to make a new life. But not with Jag. Not yet. He thought I did, but somehow, when the time came, it did not feel right. Not then. Had things turned out different, who knows what would have happened? I might be living on Csilla right now with him a bunch of children who are trying to figure out whether to be Chiss or rebel. I might have been happy.

But I?m not. On Csilla that is. And maybe not even happy. Content, yes. Loved, definitely. At peace, for the first time. But not happy. And maybe I don?t need to be. Maybe all the other things are enough.

It all started at Ord Mantell.

My commlink ringing insistently woke me in the dead of the night. How ironic. Wedge called us to the hanger and explained that a distress signal was coming from Ord Mantell. I glanced at Kyp, who I?d convinced to be my wingmate again. I felt something inside me sinking, something flowing out of me, pressure filling up the void it had left. I knew. I don?t know if he did.

I sought my brother?s eyes across the hanger and saw that he felt it, too. So did Tahiri, standing beside him, his hand on her shoulder. Then he looked down at her and I realized it. As I ran to my X-wing, the sight that I took with me into that battle was that of my brother looking with longing at the woman he loved, with the knowledge that they might never have a chance to be together because of what was to come. He was wrong, but I didn?t know that then and it hurt me almost as much as it did him.

?Maybe you were right, goddess. Maybe the shadow is falling again.?

?Maybe? Uncle Luke and Wedge are dead! Of course it?s fallen! There?s no way there?s any sunshine in the future. For once, Master Durron, you are utterly wrong. I just wish I wasn?t here to see it.?

We made it through that battle, me and most of the people I had left, except for Uncle Luke and Wedge. But so many did not. I found Jacen afterwards and after we enjoyed a few moments of basking in the knowledge that the other one was still alive, I asked him. And what he said stopped my heart.

We can?t win this one.

He?d explained that we?d won our war, the war that was ours and Anakin?s and our friends? from the Academy and Jag?s and Kyp?s and Ganner?s and all the others. We had fought and loved and sacrificed, and we had won.

It would not happen again.

It would be up to the next generation. Then he looked over at the Horn kids and Ben and Wedge?s daughters, who were all sitting silent and pensive in the corner, realization of their loss written all over their faces. Jacen, with more pain than I had ever seen, nodded towards them and told me that it was their war.

I?ve never felt sicker in my life. And he?s never been more right in his.

I told Kyp and when I was done, he just looked old. That scared me. I didn?t know why then, but I?ve never been that scared in my life. Then he pulled himself together some and pulled me into his arms and buried his face in my hair. And broke down my first defenses.

We had been friends, partners, wingmates for so long, that I suppose it was a natural thing for him to do. But somehow it meant more than that. I didn?t know how much more till years later.

?But, Kyp, how can it be their war? They?re so young, and the enemy i

 

Just beautiful, JJD.

~~Jilly

 

I told you how much I loved your last vignette, and most of what I said there still applies. But, since the characters are different, the emotion is different, too. Jaina and Kyp are different from Jacen and Tahiri; whereas the younger couple had to deal with intense love lost, the older couple had to face their dark sides. I think that you are spot-on with your characterizations of Jaina and Kyp here--none of the overdone "destined to be together" stuff there is in a lot of fics, none of the passionate "we're Corellian, let's get it on" stuff, either. I absolutely love these so far, and count me as one of your biggest fans. You really do understand emotion.