Remorse (AU, one poster, humour)

Thanks for dropping in! My first time posting (under this name at least!), so here goes nothing.

Title: Remorse

Rating: G

Oh, by the way. I have never considered writing humour. I have never wanted to write humour. But when the plot bunny bites...

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Remorse. Do I feel it? No. Regret. Do I feel any? No. Reunification. Do I seek it? No. There is no remorse, no regret. I don't feel anything for what I have done - anything out of the ordinary. I did what I had to do.

I did what needed to be done.

Give the same circumstances, the same pressures, the same annoyance; I think anyone in my position would have done the same. But there's no sense thinking about it all. We're all the better for it.

Nobody cares that much. Nobody knows all that much about it, either, but that is not the case. Those that know would just say 'that crazy thing had it coming - he deserved it', followed by the ever-popular spit in the dust, that is so wide-spread on this world. Mind you, there's not much else to spit on, here. One big dust ball.

That's where I find myself traveling, between one dust-infested planet to another. Some have said (after several glasses of the local lum to aid the courage) that it is what I should be doing, as a half-breed. Others (who haven't the courage) say that it is part of my chosen life, as a spacer.

I say that it is the cruel hand that fate has dealt me.

Never in my life have I sat in the lap of luxury. Mind you, I don't really want to all that much, but sometimes not having to risk my precious semi-human hide for my money would be nice.

A spacer is what I appear to many people, and for many more, it is what I am. They think that I am a pilot, flying the space lanes, hauling whatever cargo I can, whenever I can. And it is what I do, for the most part of my life. For the rest of it, I spend my time earning the big money ? I take on the lucrative jobs. Quick and painless, or slow and torturous ? anything goes for the right price.

Assassinations in public places my specialty.

It is not uncommon for clients to occasionally have their cargo delivered a standard day or two late. Unexpected circumstances came up, is what I tell them. I quite purposely leave it open for interpretation, letting them think what they will. If they want to believe that my ship encountered a mechanical problem and I had to put in for a couple of days, then I have no problem with that. The truth is, I have taken the opportunity to increase my credit account sometimes tenfold for those few days? work. So long as their cargo is delivered relatively on time, my clients do no more than grumble and complain to me the next time they pay me to haul their cargo.

Occasionally, the cargo I haul is listed as priority. They are the runs that I hate, purely for the reason that they cage my flexibility. On those runs, I am locked into delivering the cargo on time or earlier, or I risk losing large amounts of my payment. If an unexpected job offer comes up, then I have no option but to turn it down, much to my dismay. But that is all part of the luck that makes the galaxy turn around.

It?s happened before to me, which is staying in line with the kind of luck that I have. I was hauling a Priority-class cargo to Corellia, and had no option but to turn down the offer that had come out over my private newsnet. Damn, but that was disappointing to have to turn that offer down. It would have been one of the most satisfying jobs of my life.

And the target lived on. No one else had been able to take the job. It was obvious that my bad luck was obviously balanced with another sentient, somewhere in the galaxy. From what I?d heard, it would have been about even. He got luckier and luckier, and I continued to get the worst luck around.

A few years passed without anything about this particular target coming out via the newsnet. This I knew for a fact, for I had monitored the newsnet for any word on that target ? I longed for the op

 

Hehehehe. I love this, you W - *cuts self off*

It's wonderful how you draw the reader in, making the story seem all serious, and about this bounty hunter/assassin. And then we go to the last line - and BINGO!

Loved it.

 

All that setting up, and I just blinked when I read the last line.

Nice!

 

Oba *playful slaps then hugs* Okay, now we're even. And thank you, dearest, for getting me to post!

Jedi_Suzuran Thanks! Glad you liked! Let's just say I was thinking about this before I got bitten.

 

Up!

 

I thought it was about the secret life of Zam for a while, until it became obvious that poor jar-jar was about to get zapped.

So, when do you take out the ewoks?

 

This was great!

So, will you be writing a sequel so you can kill him again?

 

All through that I was thinking 'Where's the humour?'. Then I got to the last line

 

Darth_Bog Ewoks, you say??? Possibly...don't give me ideas! Media Text essay due wednesday! And thanks!

Happy_Hobbit_Padawan I could clone him... Many thanks indeed, young Hobbit, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

crystalrain It was all built up for that last line. That line was what the plot bunny bit me with. Thankfully you stuck with it to find the crunch!

 

Ahhh...how satisfying!

Gungan flambe!!

Love it! Excellent KL!!

 

That was fantastic!!!

What a great way to start my day! You had me going trying to figure out who it was and then who was the target.

Great job, I?ll be giggling all day.

 

Gungan flambe... heh heh heh That was really good KatarnLead. Oba should make you post more.

J_J

 

Jar-Jar's dead....................... he-he-he................ Very nice.......................... Always hated that creature...........................

More.

 

I was waiting for someone to finally do that. Thank you for taking care of the universe.

 

that is just wrong.

Jar Jar and the Gungans are the greatest...

I am deeply disturbed by this story.

 

*jaw dropped*

..........Jar Jar and the Gungans are the greatest.........

Oh God help..................

Now THAT, *Jaid points at the line that she copy'n'pasted* Is wrong thinking.

 

LadyPadme Oh, so very much so! Extremely satisfying!

Altaira Senseless works of silliness are often the best of ways to start a day...especially when I have something good downloaded to read on the train! And don't get me started about making people giggle all day... Thanks!

Jedi_Johnson Aye, that she should! Thankees!

Agent_Jaid I think you share the sentiments of a lot of people around here... But remember, not everyone... And glad you enjoyed!

gotyoda I live to serve!

Jedi_Satimber, well, I'm sorry you don't share our views, but that can't be helped. Thanks for reading, though!

 

*stomps petulantly* Jar-Jar is a tragic hero, I swear!! I proved it by virtue of a Force-damned five and a half page essay! Just ask oba!

ROFLMAO, Burkie! (Don't mind that, do you? [face_innocent]) It was like . . . "Hmm, what in heck is he doing . . . Whomp!" Great stuff!

 

Aye, I do not mind at all...call me Burkie! Seeing as you are the clone of my girlfriend, I should let you!

And this essay sounds...interesting...

 

Up? Anyone?

 

*hugs*

 

*hugs*

Up?

 

that was written with class *chuckles as she falls onto the floor*.... a speciality indeed . More i say more *applauds*.

Kithana

 

kithana: Class? Oooh! I feel special. *extends hand to help up* I most certainly hope you didn't hurt yourself! Many thanks indeed!

 

*bows head in thanks* Hmmm no seriously it was really good its really hard to write a story with a OC in it and have to make the audience relate to your OC and make sure that you don't explain his/her entire past history but let them know enough to want to read on or if you write too little the audience will not understand the character and switch to something else. I have to admit though if this story wasn't a one poster fic i might not have read it.

Please write another story but with more of a character that people know someone like Vader or something... hmmm Vader is a good idea [face_dreamy] .

Anyways lets give this a UP!

Kithana