Beyond - Legends Renewal -- Myn/Falynn short story (Final Update: 11/10)

She is watching him, he knows, but he refuses to turn and look at her. He doesn't deserve her attention; he doesn't deserve anyone's attention. He is good at many things, most of which involve killing sentient beings possessed of the knowledge that they are in mortal danger. Killing sentients who are trying their best to kill him. Killing the sentients that had massacred his squadron. Allowing her into his life would be nothing but a distraction he cannot permit.

Myn Donos takes a long sip of his chilled fruit drink ? no alcohol, he's on duty, after all ? and studies the mirror mounted on the wall facing the bar where he sits. Not a good idea, he thinks a moment later, as through the reflection Falynn Sandskimmer's intense eyes bore into his own. Her light hair is swept away from her face, and her severe clothing accentuates her slender form and thin face. Sighing, he looks away, then glances to his left when she approaches him from that direction.

"This seat taken?" Falynn asks, gesturing toward the high chair in question.

He considers telling her that it is, telling her to go and find someone worth her while, but decides against it. "No," he says.

Sitting, Falynn waves the bartender over and tells him to pour her another fruit fizz. While she waits, she watches Myn ? he can feel her eyes on him, warm and calculating at once. Self-consciously, he runs a hand through his dark hair. He wants her to go away, but he can't quite find the words to tell her that.

"I learned a lot in the sim today," she says, trying to start a casual conversation, the kind that should flow easily between squadronmates. "Of course, not as much as I learned the day I raced Antilles."

Myn almost smiles, but he catches himself in time. He recalls her impertinent words to Commander Wedge Antilles, her implication that the squadron leader was old and therefore losing his edge. The following race through treacherous canyons ? Falynn against Wedge, young against old, relatively inexperienced against battle-hardened ? had been a decisive victory for Antilles. Falynn benefited from the incident, he thinks.

"Who did you fly against?" he asks, not really interested but unwilling to ignore her.

"Grinder and I paired up with Ton and Face. We took one of the Imp scenarios with a ridiculous number of TIEs, ignored all mission parameters, and tried to work together to space as many fighters as we could. Face and Ton experimented with some interesting tactics, but I didn't get to see all of them. I was extravehicular after only about fifteen minutes. Grinder should have been watching my tail, but he wasn't." She smiles ruefully. "Then again, I should have been watching his. That's what the sims are for, though. To help you work through the problems with your strategies."

With a casual nod, Myn agrees with her assessment of the purpose of simulation. But the only problem is, when folks die in real life, they're dead for good. He changes the subject. "What do you think of the squadron so far?"

"I like it here," she tells him frankly. "I feel like the people around me want to be here and are willing to devote their lives to something greater then themselves." Shrugging, she continues, "It gives me something to aspire to."

Once, it might have done the same for Myn. Now, he just rubs a tired hand over his face and says, "It's great you can find a cause worth living for." The words come out wrong, but he doesn't care enough to retract them.

"You can't?" she asks. Funny, it sounds to Myn like she doesn't believe him.

"Only a cause worth dying for," he says. When her eyebrows come together in a frown, he adds, "But that's pretty much the same thing."

"No, it's not," says Falynn. "It's not the same thing at all. You die when you make mistakes. You live for the times you make the right decisions."

Now he's annoyed at her for puncturing his bubble of self-assuredness. "I fight," he says. "I kill." The words stick in his throat, but he forces them through anyway. "That's all I

 

Wow. I really really liked that. I saw the pairing and decided to take a look. I never see Myn/Falynn stuff. You really did a great job of portraying the characters and making the reader stop and think. I especially thought this line was insightful:

You live for the times you make the right decisions

Are you planning on expanding on this? And do you mind if I recommend it to my readers?

~Inyri

 

Thank you, Inyri. *looks at clock, sighs* I think I'm suffering from the "New story up: must check for replies every thirty seconds" syndrome.

I always hated how Myn and Falynn are more or less shoved into the background while Kell and Tyria get together, and I wanted to explore Myn's psychology prior to Falynn's death. Actually, the next post (and yes, there will be one or two more posts) will be set after the squadron forces Myn to come to terms with his loss. I can't really say this is a full-length story--it's more like a series of vignettes--but I hope to continue it. I don't mind at all if you recommend it! In fact, I'm flattered. Thanks again for stopping by.

 

That was very good. After reading your Janson vignette, when I saw your name, I thought, Ah! Gotta read that soon. And when I saw the pairing, I thought, Okay, clicking.



It was a good insight into the two of them, I think. Myn especially, of course. Very well done, I could easily see the Myn of that time in your writing. And the small hints of feeling you gave spoke wonderfully of what would happen later in Myn's life.

I kind of agree that Myn and Falynn were shoved into the background. Honestly, it seemed like they were going to get together - and then she died. That really shocked me. But I think I like this story more for it, oddly enough, if I may say.

Anyway, I've babbled enough.

Very nice job.

 

Myn stories good.

Well done, Xaara, as per usual. Looking forward to more.


*Derisa*

 

Xaara! This was wonderful! I loved this paragraph: "Not many machines function with any of their parts missing," Falynn counters, "but most stop and wait until someone fixes them. They don't grind on until they're beyond repair. They also don't try to shoot the first mechanic who comes near them."

Especially the part about shooting the mechanic.

Anyway, I thought this was a wonderful look into Myn, showing his pain and, yes, his self-pity. I thought this showed some good insight into Falynn, too, the way she admitted she was learning but still made mistakes, the way she had something to aspire to now that she was in the squadron and surrounded by people who are willing to give their lives to support something greater than themselves.

I'm so glad to hear this isn't just a vignette, but you're planning on giving us more. And, I can definitely sympathize with the "New story up: must check for replies every thirty seconds" syndrome!

 

Wow...Twas great.

 

Wow... Tis great.

Note: Inyri gave me the link. What she recomends, I read. Even the mushy ones.

 

The charaters we know reletively little about.... The ones worth playing with.


A great Myn Donos characterisation Xarra.

 

Excellent! That's the "old" Myn from "Wraith Squadron" - though in more words than he had in the whole book ...

 

Thanks, obaona. Myn is easily one of the most complex Wraiths, so getting into his head was quite a job. It took me forever to write this?I ended up scrapping a lot of it when it just didn't sound right. I always assumed that Myn and Falynn did get together. After all, Myn kisses her after she's injured in her fall from the hangar roof late-ish in Wraith Squadron, and it doesn't seem like that's the first time. It shocked me when she died, too, because (Myn/Lara fans, please don't shoot me for this) she seemed a fuller character than Lara. Sure, Lara is messed up and complicated, but Falynn has a depth that we never really get to see.

Derisa: Glad you liked it. More on the way as soon as I get a minute!

Thank you, Jane. Myn is pretty deep into his whole "I'm the only person in the entire universe who's ever suffered this much; therefore, my suffering must be more important than anyone else's" theory of life when he joined the Wraiths. To be quite honest, I didn't really like him at first ? he just seemed so selfish. For me at least, he was something of an acquired taste.

And, I can definitely sympathize with the "New story up: must check for replies every thirty seconds" syndrome! When I first posted on the Boards, I just sat on my thread for something like ten minutes, pressing Refresh every ten seconds or so. (I know, what a dork. ) I think I've gotten a little better since then, but new stories are still exciting.

Thanks for stopping in, Master_Jacen.

Well, I'm glad she recommended it then, SpeldoriontheBlended. Thank you for reading!

Definitely, PROPHET. Thanks for dropping by to review!

in more words than he had in the whole book Yes, that was one of the first reasons I liked Myn?he's so underutilized! He's a really round character, but we only see a tiny bit of that in the books. Thank you.

 

A/N: I originally intended to redo the scene in Wraith Squadron where some members of the squadron force Myn through his depression at Shiner's destruction, but I reread it and decided that Allston got far enough into Myn's head. Simply put, I don't think I could add anything to it except words, and that's not really the point of these vignettes. (If any of you haven't read Wraith Squadron, I'd be happy to write a quick summary of what happened. Just PM me or post a request here in the thread.)

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Myn trails his hand along the wall as he walks, the cold metal keeping him anchored in the present. He is aware of the footsteps behind him, but he's not sure enough of his balance to turn and see who is following him. It doesn't really matter to the majority portion of his consciousness. Still, the parts of his mind that belong to the military want to know. Listening carefully, he tries to guess.

The steps are light, quick ? female? ? and careful not to approach him, as if afraid that he might become violent. Not too far off, he thinks, knowing that the Wraiths all saw him lunge at Kell with every intent of killing the larger man. He scared himself then, frightened some inner part of himself that objected to the senselessness of it. He had completely lost control, and the idea that he might lose it again worries him.

It must be Falynn behind him, he thinks. She's the most logical choice. She's been trying to get to know him, and he's been pushing her away, but she always comes back. For some reason, she always comes back. She is, he realizes, the only person standing between him and the endless mindless circles of a mental breakdown.

He regards himself from a somewhat removed perspective. Outwardly, he has changed little ? he's a little greyer, maybe, and his eyes are a little more wary, his mouth a little less apt to smile ? but he is not unrecognizable. The mess that is his brain, however, is a tangled web of contradictions that he is only beginning to understand. That's an improvement, he taunts himself. Now you're beginning to understand? Understand what? Understand that you're unfit for a career in the military? Unfit for a life with normal people? Grimacing, he shuts the voice away in a corner of his mind. He is well acquainted with the voice's tendencies toward severe criticism and is disinclined to listen at the moment.

Soon, he reaches his room, palms the door open, and takes a step toward the familiar confines of the austere space. It is then that he remembers the person behind him. He turns to tell her that he will be fine, but she speaks first.

"I'm sorry we did that to you, Myn, but we didn't see any other way. You were in a tailspin and it didn't look like you were going to pull out." Yes, it's Falynn's voice, and it is full of sympathy and remorse. She steps forward, away from the shadows that cling to the wall, and smiles hesitantly. "No hard feelings?"

He takes a moment to think before responding. He won't pretend that what the squadron did didn't hurt him, but he can finally see himself from their point of view, see what a pitiful figure he must have appeared. Though he suspects he will not be able to spend downtime with the other pilots without some modicum of misgiving, he knows with all his heart that he can entrust his life to them during a battle. He tries a tiny half-smile. "Not many."

Falynn grins back; she is beautiful when she smiles, Myn notices. When she speaks, she sounds relieved. "Well, at least you're telling the truth. Get some sleep. Antilles wants to see us early tomorrow morning." Silently, she turns to leave.

"Wait," Myn says, sending a hand out to follow her in a short and arrested gesture. Falynn turns back to him, but he has no coherent intentions and does not know what to say. He moves toward her, wondering what it is that makes him want her to stay. Something is warning him not to let her go, but the cynical

 

*sneaks in*

Up!

*sneaks out*

 

Ah .. that was meant when Allston said she made sure he reached his room ...

 

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet...

-JSD

 

Awww, that was sweet! I liked the way that Myn didn't want her to go, but didn't know why, and finally realized what he did want, which was to kiss her. It was just the right amount of mush for the moment. I also liked the conversation that followed. Wonderful characterizations here! You've really hit Myn and Falynn -- it's like reading the scenes that Allston left out.

 

How sudden and good.

 

Definitely, -thor-. I'm glad you liked it!

JSD: Thaaaaaaaaaaanks!

Thank you, Jane. I'm not much of a mush writer (at least, I've never really liked writing it), so I'm happy you thought well of this scene. I was initially just going to post the first and third vignettes (see below for further details ) but there was something missing in the middle. I love Myn and Falynn, and might one day write an actual story dedicated to them?until then, it's just the viggies.

Why thank you, Master_Jacen.

A/N: Once again, we skip a part of the book, this time to bring you Myn's thoughts after Falynn's death near the end of Wraith Squadron. And again, if you want a summary of what happened, feel free to ask. Read on!

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Commander Antilles has talked to him; Tyria has talked to him; even Face has taken time from his day to come and express his sympathies. Still, all Myn can feel is the dull ache that has been his companion for the last few days.

He sits cross-legged on the roof of the hangar ? illegally, as he's not supposed to have access to the area ? and watches the last rays of sun disappear over the horizon. It's not really a sunset, but the character of the light changes from natural to artificial. It's never truly dark on Coruscant.

Falynn is dead, gone. And though he knows he didn't love her ? didn't have time to find out whether he might have ? Myn still mourns her passing. He recalls her smile, the way her eyes crinkled when she grinned at him, the graceful way she moved, the deadly way she fought. He recalls the way his stomach twisted when he learned that she had fallen from a hangar roof and knocked herself unconscious on the permacrete below. He recalls the way she looked at him when she woke up after that fall, affection shining in her eyes and a tiny, bemused smile on her face.

She was, he thinks, beautiful in a way few other women ever could be. He knows he is lucky to have had the time he did. There had been a silent understanding between them: no one is immortal ? live for the moments you have. Something about these nearly tangible memories of her allows him to continue his daily existence without the depression that characterized his life after the loss of Talon Squadron. He comprehends that pain is one of the truths of life.

Falynn would have liked that idea, he thinks. But she would have found a way to make it more eloquent. Strangely, thinking of her does not bring a fresh wash of hurt; it works to soothe him. The memory of her quick eyes and quicker tongue does not haunt him; it is pleasant and comforting. Though Myn has lost someone dear to him, he has not lost the memory of his times with her. There is something deeper about his loss now, something more personal, and Myn realizes that that's exactly what Falynn's death is: personal. He can no longer visualize the face of his Talon Squadron second-in-command, but Falynn's face is fresh in his mind.

He wonders if there's a difference between deaths that affect him as a person and those that affect him as a member of the New Republic military. As a squadron commander, he still feels that he failed the members of Talon Squadron so brutally massacred in so preventable an incident. But as a human, as a man with all his faults and insecurities, he knows that he is not responsible for their deaths. He could perhaps have played a part in preventing them, he was witness to them, but they are ultimately not his fault.

No tears escape his eyes; he has already cried.

* * * * *

Into the long hallway where he practices his sniping he brought his rifle, firing it at progressively smaller targets until the heat overloaded the delicate wiring and the laser shut itself off. And then he sat, as much as one can sit in a zero-gravity, zero-atmosphere room, and wept, his tears floating from his eyes and forming perfect spheres that splashed against the inside of his faceplat

 

*sniff sniff* *sniff sniff*

Excellent characterisation. I did something like the last part as my first vignette -->Moving on ...

 

Oh, this is the last vignette? Too bad -- I was hoping for a bit more.

Great characterization here again; I liked the way that Myn was thinking that he didn't love Falynn, and yet there had been a silent understanding between them. And that thinking of her doesn't hurt, instead it seems to soothe him. Myn seems to have grown since the loss of Talon Squadron -- he's not as depressed, and he's learned that pain is one of the truths of life.

A great look at Janson, too; we don't often see him this serious. I liked the way he understood Myn.

I was especially struck by the ending, where Myn is no longer wallowing in grief, but knows that he can continue living and will live up to Falynn's expectations of him. Wonderful!

 

*sniff* wow, that was poignant. Great stuff, Xaara...you're a brilliant author

-JSD

 

[face_shame] I'd forgotten that one, -thor-, but I went back and re-read it and found that I enjoyed it just as much the second time. (Although I've already reviewed, so I'll abstain from doing that again.) Thanks for reading and for the link to your story.

Jane: Yes, it's the last vignette, at least for now. (I really should be spending my time on Home In Time For Supper, but I keep getting all these ideas for offshoots and I have to write them down before they get away... ) Thank you!

Thanks, JSD.

SpeldoriontheBlended:

 

Awesome work! You did an amazing job getting into these characters' heads and showing Myn's development over the course of his time with the Wraiths.

She had not taken time from her short years to help him without expecting some sort of return on the investment. She had forced him to be a man that she could respect and perhaps even love. To return to his state of abject misery would be to betray all that she worked for.

I really liked these lines. Very thought-provoking.

I'd comment more (especially on some of the great lines from your first viggie) but my lunch break is over. Besides, I've got to go find a certain pilot and give him a big hug.

-Katie
Thumper

 

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed reading, because these vignettes were a lot of fun to write. Myn's been so ignored that I just wanted to give him some spotlight time. If that makes any sense at all.

Besides, I've got to go find a certain pilot and give him a big hug. You go do that.