Saga Repost: Uprising (OC, Vader, just before ANH)

This was originally part of a thread called "Roads to Sanctuary," about war orphans during the conflict, all making their way to an orphanage on Tatooine run by Kit Binai (Anakin's friend Kitster). It appeared first in "I'm Your What?"/"The Shifting of the Sands", and the first three stories were of the orphans we had in that story-- Dritali Neral, Vertash G'lahter, and Kerea Morlana. Vertash's "Road" story never was finished, but part of his back story made it into The Flight to Rison's Deep, and Kerea's was too dependent on the other two to submit anywhere, but with this one, the first, I've been very concerned about the violence level, so I never submitted it to the archive. On a re-read, I think it's okay, but if it's too much, Kit or A_S can certainly say "Lock it up NOW."

Anyway...

It's a one-shot story (though I'll post it in three segment for easier scanning), and I thought I'd repost it. Does it stand okay on its own?

 

Uprising -- 1/3

Dritali Neral remembered little of the uprising that had sent her flying, with her father, from the wooded groves of Zompesha to the cold spires of Coruscant. She had only been five. There were only scattered images.

She saw, in her mind?s eye, N?fabu Ujzimb, the leader of the commoners, breaking down the door to her father?s grand house. He was yelling something, but Dritali didn?t know what it was. One arm was raised. His blaster was in the other hand. She could see him in perfect clarity, right down to the ragged bottom of his shirt, where he?d torn off a piece to bandage his forehead. The rag was dirty, and now stained red.

She remembered looking out at Lake Zhinahumi. Bodies were floating in it, and there was something red in the water that wasn?t the reflection of the sunset. It wasn?t the flower petals falling off the trees, either. The boat that Daddy and Mama took her out in sometimes, mostly for holidays, was tipped to one side, and the water-that-wasn?t-just-water was going right in the portholes. She didn?t know if that was before or after Ujzimb entered the home.

Most puzzling, she remembered the feel of her nanny?s arms around her. V'nupuch Zhahezvui - Nupi - was wrapping Dritali in her own cloak, and leading her out of the house. And someone had stopped her.

But not the commoners. The commoners didn?t have uniforms. It was Daddy?s men who took her away and gave her back to Daddy, and Daddy took her away from Zompesha, and she didn?t know what happened to Nupi, or why she?d been stealing away into the night. Daddy said later that Nupi had been trying to kidnap her, and that the commoners had already killed Mama.

Dritali didn?t believe him.

She didn?t remember Mama being there at all, not in any of the pictures in her head. The last thing she remembered about Mama was in the dining room the night before, yelling at her to get away, to go to the lake, but most of it hadn?t been clear, because she was ducking away from Daddy?s fists. Mama was already gone when the uprising started. That much she knew for certain. Mama had been there one day, and she?d gone out into the city of Lichumpam. Dritali had gone with her, and they?d had a lot of fun together. That?s when Dritali had met Ujzimb, and that?s how she?d known him when she saw him, so she knew she wasn?t making it up. Then it was the next day, and Mama was gone and all the commoners were mad.

And then there was the transport to Coruscant, where Daddy had told her what was happening, or what he thought she ought to think was happening. He was holding her wrist so hard it hurt when he did that, and Dritali knew to keep her mouth shut. Daddy had broken her wrist like that the year before when she?d interrupted him. Daddy didn?t like it when people interrupted him, especially if they weren?t agreeing with him.

After they got to Coruscant, the days just started rolling over each other. Dritali went to school - she'd begged for boarding school, but Daddy had put his foot (and his fist) down on that idea - and she started collecting glass trinkets. Real glass, not transparisteel. Real glass with bubbles you could sometimes see, if the glass blower missed a tiny imperfection. It was pretty, and she put shelves of it in the window of her bedroom to catch the light. Daddy almost never came there, so there wasn't as much chance of it getting broken (though she was very, very careful not to let him know how much she liked it).

Ujzimb had declared loyalty to the Empire, so the Empire didn't send anyone to help Daddy get his place back. They let him keep his title, but it rankled him that people snickered behind their hands when he was introduced as "Lord Ynob Neral" at official functions. He made them call Dritali "My Lady," which made the snickering worse. She dreaded official functions. He was always so mad afterward.

But it was at an official function, not long after her ninth birthday, that her life turned around. It was there, on a cool, pleasa

 

So far this stands very well on its own, despite so many hints of things happening outside this story, and it's fascinating! I don't think the level of violence in this first post is excessive, either.

I was very interested in the way that the Imperials were talking about Lord Vader's 'twisted' value system, which somehow gave the impression that it's not quite so twisted after all. Excellent way of showing that Dritali is Force-sensitive, too! Will they ever meet? I can't begin to imagine what would happen if they did. In any case, I'm definitely interested in reading more.

 

Thanks, Jane!

I think I'm just going to go ahead and post the other two parts.

Uprising -- 2/3

When she woke up the next morning, Daddy had left, leaving her in the care of the house computer. His message had simply said that he would be away for a week or so. Dritali had picked up, by some kind of osmosis that came from living with a person, that he was planning to take Zompesha back. She guessed he'd found some sympathetic noble to help him at the party. She didn't question his absence too deeply.

With the morning light, last night's argument (she had always thought of scoldings from Daddy as "arguments") seemed to have faded somewhat, and she was left with her other memories of the evening. The threat at the end - that was still clear. That was new. That would need to be taken into account. But more important, she had a new puzzle.

Lord Vader. The man who thought he was a knight.

Dritali intended to find out who he was. Daddy would review anything she did on the house computer (she had learned this the hard way, when she'd applied to a boarding school without telling him), but she was allowed to go to the archives. She got her normal breakfast, brushed her hair, and told the computer that she needed to study, and wanted help from the librarian.

Simple as that.

It was another glorious day - Coruscant's weather was artificial, but some days, Dritali just knew that it would have been nice anyway - and she enjoyed the walk. The last of the shakes had left her in her sleep, and the aches in her shoulders could have been from exercising. The scrape on her knee? well, that had just been from tripping on the sidewalk. She was smiling when she approached the desk.

An alien was sitting there. He was pudgy and dull green in color, and he had four arms. His nose was like an insect's stinger, except it didn't look sharp. There was a mouth under it, too, so it probably wasn't how he ate. Dritali didn't know what sort of creature he was. She hardly knew any aliens. Daddy and all the nobles said that they shouldn't mix, and that aliens were bad. They were crafty, but not very bright. But this one seemed friendly enough. He came down from behind the desk, and asked, in slightly accented standard, "How may I help you, little one?"

"I wanted to read about some people in the news. You know, just to know who they are."

"School is out, isn't it?"

"I just want to know. For me."

The alien smiled. "Ah. A curious one. I like that."

"Really?"

"Yes, of course, really. My job is finding answers. Without people who ask questions, I would have to work somewhere else, neh?"

She laughed. "Then is it all right if I ask first, sir, what order of being you are?"

"I can see you're a child of the Empire," the alien said bitterly, then started leading Dritali inside. "It is not your fault. My order of being is Resivian. We come from a world in the Mid-Rim. I do not drink anyone's blood, and as far as I know, I do not give itchy bites."

Dritali looked at her feet, abashed. "I'm sorry."

"No, no. I meant it. It isn't your fault. I merely address questions that others have asked. I should not have assumed you meant to ask them. My name is Mizovaz."

"And I am Dritali Neral. I'm pleased to meet you, Mizovaz."

He looked a little nonplused, but didn?t say anything. Dritali really was pleased to meet him - to meet anyone, really - but she didn't think they'd started out on the right foot. He led her to the newsroom, and set her up at a terminal. "Now, Dritali Neral, who would you hear of?"

Some instinct told her not to go straight to the heart of it. "A couple of people," she said. "I heard a story last night, about someone named Mol Zokusa, and about a girl Senator that everyone thinks is a Rebel. And about someone named Lord Vader, I think."

Mizovaz hissed through his stinger nose, and it turned into something like a hum at the end. "I don't know about any Rebels - I know nothing of such things - but if you heard a story inv

 

Uprising -- 3/3

Daddy showed up without any warning three days after he'd left. Dritali was very glad that she'd kept everything neat and clean. She'd even finished fixing the statue that had fallen during their argument (well, sort of fixing; she had it stuck back together), and he seemed to have forgotten it. She managed to get out of a long conversation with him, and slipped up to her room.

Her glass collection looked a little dull, so she started cleaning it. She didn't think to stop when Daddy came to the door.

"We've been invited up to Governor Hurar's," he said. "Be ready by mid-afternoon."

"Yes, Daddy."

He left, and she continued to dust the figurines. When they were finished, she chose a dress, and met Daddy downstairs. He was quiet tonight. That could be either a good sign or a bad sign. She'd find out later.

Hurar was governor of some Outer Rim worlds, but, like a lot of governors, he lived on Coruscant. He had a big house near the Fleet hangars, and several high-ranking Fleet officers were present (along with the usual crowd of nobles and governors, of course). Dritali was duly introduced as "her Ladyship, Dritali Neral of Zompesha," then forgotten about for the evening. For the first hour, everything was as it was during every Imperial party Dritali had attended. Nobles and governors washing one another's hands, military men gathering like strange, stiff birds and speaking in their clipped and official-sounding way, serving droids flitting about with drinks and food. If there was a normal pattern to her life, she supposed this was it.

But just as dusk was starting to come down, Dritali felt something that was like a bolt of lightning hitting five feet away. Her teeth came together sharply enough to bit a little hole in her tongue, and her head buzzed. She was dizzy.

A second later, the party fell silent.

In the silence, she heard him before she saw him - the slow, even, mechanical breathing. She turned.

Lord Vader was standing at the edge of the parlor, his thumbs hooked into his belt. He didn't look like he was here for the party. "I must speak to Captain Varitan immediately," he said.

Dritali didn't really care what he was saying. She tried to inch her way through the crowd to get a better view. Not that he was hard to see, but she just wanted to see closer. She'd never seen anyone like him before.

The dizziness was starting to go away as she got used to it, but it apparently hadn't gone away quite enough. As she passed a small table, she had to lean, and she lost her balance. The table wasn't very sturdy, and it crashed when her weight came down on it.

She didn't guess that people usually looked away from Lord Vader, but it was so quiet and the crash was so loud that for an instant, everyone looked at her instead.

And somewhere, someone laughed.

Lord Vader was impassive. But beyond him, Dritali could see Daddy. Daddy had heard the laughter, and seen what caused it. His jaw was working in tight little circles.

"Captain Varitan," Vader repeated.

"Yes, my Lord," Hurel said, and hurried off.

Vader said nothing else as he waited. Dritali could see his light-sword. No one continued to celebrate in his presence. She was terrified? and yet something? she felt?

Then she lost it, because she saw Daddy again. He had worked his way partway around the silent circle. He would be taking her home soon.

She looked desperately at Lord Vader, wanting to say something, anything. But the silence in the room held her in thrall. She didn't dare. In her mind, only the phrase Help me please help me? kept playing, but she couldn't imagine herself explaining why she needed help. What had she ever planned to say to this man, if she found him? "I heard you were a knight once; please save me"?

His head turned, and he looked straight at her. Her breath failed her, and she sat down hard.

Then Hural came back, producing the officer he was seeking, apparently out of thin air, and Vader was gone, and the part

 

Hi, JG,

I've read most of your stories on various sites, and I've always liked "Uprising." Dritali is a sympathetic, intriguing character, and I love your portrayal of Vader.

I don't like stories where Vader is a one-dimensional "bad-guy" character. He is conflicted and tormented, and though he can be deadly, he has a code of honor that he follows.

I don't know if anyone else would agree with this, but I think you've shown an interesting paradox in Vader's personality. He is quick to defend Dritali against an abusive father, but later he will be rather harsh with his own children. Granted, they are older and not completely defenseless against him, but still...

Well, this is a great story with lots of depth and insight into the characters and their world. I hope to be able to read some of the unfinished ones in the series, too.

Kristeh

 

I think I liked the name Jarai better.

 

Have I read this story? I think I have... still, it was so good to reread it... Force, Gala, I miss your stories !! And this certain Universe was my favorite from all of your writings.

But I'd rather not comment on the rating- it does contain serious material, even if it very impressively written... well, it's up to the admins, I guess.

 

I think I liked the name Jarai better.

I did, too, but I was pleased that the name on the offical site was actually sort of close in sound to the guess! I went ahead and changed it; no reason not to.

 

Kristeh--for some reason I didn't see your post this morning. Thanks.

I don't know if anyone else would agree with this, but I think you've shown an interesting paradox in Vader's personality. He is quick to defend Dritali against an abusive father, but later he will be rather harsh with his own children. Granted, they are older and not completely defenseless against him, but still...

I think Anakin has a hard time with conflicting emotions.

With Leia, of course, he doesn't know. I don't let him off the hook for this, since I have him loving her as well as being very, very angry at her. But he manages to avoid killing her despite not knowing, and whenever he faces off against her before ESB, he's not dealing with her as a daughter. He's dealing with her as a criminal. And he frankly doesn't seem to like it much. Of course, I think in ESB that he's not entirely sane. He's become totally obsessive about finding Luke, and everything becomes focused toward that goal.

With Luke, it's more complicated. They met twice, and both times Luke initiated it. Luke almost always draws first. On Bespin, yes, Vader cuts off Luke's hand, but that's in the course of a fair duel that it seems Vader would rather not be having. He wants to end the conflict (under his terms of course, but that's the nature of conflict). In RotJ, Vader is so tired and weary that he's not exactly giving it his all, and when he does draw, it's to stop Luke from murdering Palpatine. It's a complex relationship between those two. I like it.

 

Oh, I love the father/son relationship between Luke and Anakin/Vader. That, and Anakin's redemption, are what made me fall in love with Star Wars in the first place.

Kristeh

 

The violence level is fine JG


This was an absolute pleasure to read. I loved the interaction between Dritali and her father (and how extreme and odd it was) and also the interaction with Lord Vader. I liked how you portrayed him as torn and conflicted rather then a being of pure evil.


Kithera

 

Fascinating story! I thought the level of violence was fine, too. Dritali's father was named Ynob? Looks a bit like "snob" without the "s" -- but he doesn't act like a snob. He acts more like he's frightened of something that Dritali will or could do to him, and so tries to keep her under his thumb, always checking up on her and what she's doing. I thought this part was so incredibly revealing: But it was where Daddy's mind was. His old place. Everyone was taking it from him; why not Dritali?

Although I would have liked to have found out more about the backstory, I think this story does stand well enough on its own, anyway.

I liked the way Dritali could only ask for help, but couldn't explain why, and her little mental conversation with Vader. I also liked the way that Vader could sense that her attention was aimed at him -- a child aiming a plastic toy blaster at a mountain.

All in all, excellent work. I can't help it -- I wish you were writing the official Star Wars books. My mother sent me a few NJO books this summer, and they made me want to run, screaming in horror, back to fanfic like yours.

 

Thanks for the call, Kit' (and the comment)--just figured it was safer to ask on the violence.

Jane--I never thought of the Ynob/snob connection! (That was one of those made up names that I sometimes do lists of, and I just picked it at random because it sounded like it might fit with Dritali's last name.) I think you're right; he's very scared, though it doesn't say much good for a man if he's scared of his nine-year-old daughter. I think he started out not quite right, and then ended up in over his head on top of it.

I guess I figured that Vader might actually be drawn to a case where the morality was--at least from Anakin's viewpoint--perfectly clear cut. A place where Anakin and Vader might agree without the slightest bit of conflict, I guess, though of course once he's done something like that, the normal conflicts in his mind will get louder. Can't think too much about morality when you're Darth Vader, unless you want that little voice to start speaking up on other matters as well.