Saga Republic Commando: Clown's Lament (Scorch vignette, PG) *edited 8/25*

Disclaimer: Lucas owns it all.

Big kudos to KrystalBlaze and DarthBoba for all my RC vignettes.

Clown's Lament

Sev had been left behind. My squadmate. My friend. My brother.

Standing at the edge of the ascending Gunship's troop bay, the trees of Kashyyk started to fade away below me. It feft as if the seemingly solid expanse of leaves and branchs symbolised my bond with Sev, getting increasingly distant. The man had saved my lives so many times before. But the time my brother needed me most... I wasn't there.

~~~

"Sir! We've got to go back!"

I couldn't see my leader's face through the grim helmet. But helmet or no, I knew that what he was going to do would hurt him a lot more than it would hurt me.

"We... We have our orders. Deltas, let's get to the extraction point."

It was a hot knife in each of our hearts. The order lacked the traditional enthusiasm Boss had when issuing an order.

My grief was slightly lessened by thinking of Boss, our team leader. He had the burden of saying what none of us would ever want to accept. He had to order his men to leave one of their own behind.

~~~

I slammed my yellow-painted fist against the hard armor of the Gunship. This wasn't fair. Fixer put his hand on my shoulder. I harshly shrugged it off.

I was aware that Three-Eight and the Advisor were talking, but I wasn't listening. I couldn't while that fact that we were truly turning our back on our brother stuck in my mind.

I felt moisture on my face. Sweat? No, this moisture came from my eyes. Tears?

Clones don't cry. We can't cry--those Kaminoans tinkered with our genetic code.

So why am I crying? Was I one of their rare mistakes? A flaw?

Fine then. I let the tears roll down my face. I let myself cry. A stark contrast to the intimidating mask that struck fear into the enemy.

It was odd. I'd never cried before, even after seeing the many horrors of war. No matter. As long is it made me feel... Human.

Human. If only it were so. Species-wise, yes, but whether we liked it or not, we weren't truly human. Whether a clone viewed himself as a hero of the Republic, or as a defender of peace and freedom, the truth was that we were all born simply because someone needed a war fought. And who better to fight a war than soldiers that nobody would miss? That had no family to mourn their death? Obviously all clones were just a bunch of of mindless, emotionless, and organic droids. I knew that's what regular people thought of us. The very people we were born to protect.

I yearned to feel human. It was why I always strived to make those around me laugh, even under fire. Making people feel happy, hearing laughter.. It made me feel alive. A living human being.

But I wasn't in any state of self-pity. It wasn't that I felt bad for myself, rather, I just wanted to know what it was like, if it was better or worse than my current life. Thus, my relentless sense of humor was born.

However, all of it works against me as well. It puts a heavy burden on my shoulders: I know my squadmates look to me as a vessel of confidence, the one they can always count on to be in a funny mood despite the death and destruction around us.

So there was Sev, the slightly psychotic sniper. Despite us generally being opposites, we'd somehow forged a strong friendship. I guess opposites really do attract.

I remembered all the times he'd saved my life. The first I can remember was during a typical training exercise back on Kamino.

~~~

"Delta, breach that door! We'll cover you from here."

"Thought you'd never ask, lead."

I was the demolitions expert, the man you look to if you want something blown to smithereens. Or if you like to see explosions. Some people might think it'd be nerve wracking to be the man with the bang. I could easily understand why they would think so.

All kinds of ordnance was strapped all over my body: anti-armor, anti-infantry, explosives that could reduce buildings to rubble, high-tech beauties that could blow someone up twice befo

 

Nice, as always. But didnt Scorch get his nickname when he and Sergeant Walon Vau were doing a training exercis and put too much explosives down and blew their eyebrows off?

 

Well, technically yes and no. Walon Vau says that minor burn injuries taken during a demolition exercise. Something along those lines.

It's pretty much the same thing, anyhow.

 

I could've sworn on the RC site under Scorch's bio...hmph, maybe I dreamed that...

 

Yes, yes you are.



I'd appreciate a little more than "Nice." but hey, beggars can't be choosers, eh?

 

Very good Mig. You were right about it bein a bit longer than the rest. You captured what I think of Scorch, funny but deep down he is very deep and emotional kinda like me. Keep up the great work.

 

Not a bad fic.

I especially liked "Captain Handsome"

LOL

 

Yup. Piss off Captain Handsome and he'll boom-ify you twice.

 

Update: Fixed some typos and generally added more meat.

 

Nice job, as usual. I like how you showed us more about Scorch's relationship to Sev and the few backshifts. Also you kept the humor from the game (what was one of the things that are simply required when wrting from Scorch's POV) and showed us more about Scorch's very inside. Also nice to see you make your vigs longer... maybe yet a longer fanfic?

 

Like I've said in other fics, I like vignettes better because they impact the reader's emotions much better than a long fic does. But if you can convince me...

 

Just fixed the flashbacks and added wee bit more meat.

 

Up you go!

 

Holy crap. Never thought I'd see this up again.

 

Very nice Antilles,

Like the flash backs, also like how you showed some stuff that wasnt in the game.
but yea i thought that it was when and ordnance accident happened that left Scorch and Vau without eyebrows for a while?

 

(Because I can take a hint... )

Brilliant! It made me relive that time when I watched my friend play that horrifying level (she never gave me the chance to play it myself... xD). It's rare to see a writer take Scorch as seriously as you do. It was great reading all those emotional qualities you've given my favorite commando. It certainly adds more needed depth to his character. Glad I had the pleasure of reading this as many times as I want.

 

She's been nominated!