Beyond - Legends Return Of The Chosen One, Rewrite (NJO AU) (Update:15/6)

Basically I don't like the way it turned out so I'm doing it again. Some parts will seem very similar to the old. A lot won't. Hopefully it will end up being a much better story. Hopefully I won't get pulled up for using naughty words this time around as well!

* * * * *

Pain. White light. The feel of a slight breeze on his face. What had happened? He opened his eyes and took a long look around him. He was on the edge of some sort of jungle, facing out onto what looked like a kilometre or so of scorched earth leading up to a large building. He could hear some sort of bird chirping away in the distance and other sounds common to a jungle: the rustling sounds of small animals moving around, etc. The light hurt his eyes a little bit, but he didn't really notice. What did it matter? He was alive!

He looked down, at his body, at his hands. He was dressed in the dark robes that he had worn before everything had gone wrong, before the clone wars. He clenched his fists and then opened them. Everything worked. His body was as it was when he was at his physical peak. It was like the decades hadn't passed, as if Sullust had never happened, as if he had never worn the black armour and the death's head mask. As if he had never died.

It made no sense that he could be here. He was dead. Anakin Skywalker had passed into the force after saving his son from the Emperor Palpatine. He was dead and gone, probably a distant memory by this point. His son, how would he react to having his father walk out in front of him, plain as day? Maybe it had been mere days since his death, maybe it had been decades. Maybe Luke wasn't even alive anymore. Maybe Palpatine's monstrous creation had still ended up winning the war and had destroyed his family once and for all. He shook his head. He didn't need these thoughts, they did him no good. He had to find out what was going on, where he was, and then work from there to find out why he was back.

Anakin started to walk forwards. The first few steps were a little wobbly, uncertain even. But in a matter of moments he hit his stride and began taking long, even strides, chewing up the yards. Then he stopped. He felt a tremor in the force, something a little strange, something... dangerous. Yes, that was it. Danger was coming. To the side?he rolled away instinctively, and a small projectile flew through the spot his head had been a moment ago. He came back up to his feet in one smooth, motion, drawing his lightsabre, and was met by a blur of motion, kicking the sabre out of his hands and knocking him a good three feet backwards onto the ground with a meaty thud.

Anakin rolled back onto his feet. The warrior was charging at him, weapon raised above his read ready to bring down and smash Anakin's skull. Closer and closer he came. Almost close enough to see the whites of his eyes, then he bounced back off the invisible wall Anakin had erected in front of him. Anakin rose to his feet, and called his sabre to his hand. The blue blade hissed into life as he lifted the weapon above his head, ready in an aggressive combat stance.

The warrior charged at Anakin, slashing away with his weapon as he came, but Anakin was equal to it, deftly blocking each attack as it came. The warrior was utterly lacking in subtlety, but he was strong and fast. Almost as fast as a Jedi Knight, and probably stronger. Anakin dodged and rolled under one particularly aggressive high swing and realised something: he couldn't feel this guy through the force. He was a void, there was just nothing there.

Anakin parried a blow down to the side, and made a quick mental adjustment. He couldn't read him, but he could sense the void and where it was and where it was going. That would be good enough for his purposes. Now he was ready. He released the alien's weapon and went on the offensive, launching quick, probing attacks at his opponent from all angles, forcing it to use some fancy footwork to keep it's limbs attached.

The fight had turned: Anakin could feel it. He kept the

 

okay, had no time yet to read this - since i'm busy with drawing - but consider me hooked! i already loved the old one as you might remember, so i'll be looking forward to reading this again in a new and maybe even better version.

 

'Ello, daath. Found any good Vader fics recently? I could do with some good stuff to read.

 

sorry to disappoint you, but i've currently not that much time to look for any good fics. need a vacation to search the boards and ff.net aso.

 

I know that feeling. There's a reason that I hadn't posted here for months before this. Nearly holliday time, though!

 

Howdy Vasey, good to see you again. So you're rewriting your story? Funny really, because that's exactly what I'm doing soon.

 

Hello. I just wanted to write something and none of my other ideas were working out, so I went back to my first idea, fixing this up. I really do cringe when I look back at some of it, and now I'm, hopefully, going to make it a bit less cringeworthy.

 

Yeah, it happens with early fics. Tis why I'm gonna rewrite all of mine, the early ones are too cheesy, so once I'm finished the uber-novel, I will be rewriting the others.

I do hope you're not changing too much of the story though, I always enjoyed the last half with the Empire.

 

I'm not totally sure how I'm going to handle the end yet. The Empire will still be involved in a major way, but possibly not in the same way.

Anyway.

* * * * *

With an identity and a role to play in the war, at least temporarily, Anakin now had to get some information. He needed to know exactly what was going on and what was happening with his family. The response of his family members when they had confused him for their Anakin had disturbed him. He had expected things to go smoothly for his family after he had died and the Empire had, hopefully, gone with him. Obviously it had now worked out as he had hoped.

He found a terminal to use easily enough. There was no need for him to go find somewhere isolated now. He flicked through the information quickly, trying not to stay on something long enough that anyone watching would become suspicious. What he read was... disturbing. It was also difficult to believe. Extra-galactic invaders from beyond the outer-rim? It was like something from a bad holo-film. If it hadn't been so deadly serious, he could have laughed.

But what really got to him was what had happened to his family. One grandson dead. Another a POW. A granddaughter who had flirted with the darkside. Another grandson sent into hiding. A close family friend, Chewbacca, dead. This war was hitting hard and it was hitting close to home. It wasn't some remote, distant thing that you knew was terrible but didn't really affect you. It was attacking his family directly. And it was deliberate. The Vong were obsessed with the Jedi and his family were the strongest of the Jedi.

At least it was obvious what he had to do now. He was here to fight the Yuuzhan Vong and to defeat them, just as he had been here to fight and defeat the Sith last time. But he wouldn't fall again. He wouldn't join his enemy. He would fight them head-on, and he would destroy them utterly. This was what he had to do to protect his family, this was what he had to do to protect the innocent people of the galaxy, this was his duty as a Jedi.

One thing that was good to see was that his son had taken up his role with gusto and had became a great Jedi Master. He had far exceeded his father's miserable record as a Jedi and was not setting a whole new standard for Jedi to aspire to in the future. Strength, wisdom and kindess all wrapped up in one package. He had made his father very proud, whether he knew it or not. A whole new order had been established by his son. How many could claim that?

Leia had followed in her mother's footsteps, although she probably didn't realise it, and became a great diplomat. She'd held together the galaxy for years and years, and, on top of that, she'd raised a fine family as well. Incredible. She may not have became a Jedi, but being a Jedi was not the be all and end all of life.

But, while his children had done well, the rest of the galaxy had not. Palpatine had mired the Republic in corruption and greed during his life, and it appeared that the problems had not passed with his death and, in fact, had became so ingrained that it was now part of the galaxy's political structure to be utterly corrupt. And this had came home to roost when the Vong came and the galaxy was woefully ill-prepared and unable to muster the unity required to fight them off.

He looked at the chrono by the terminal. Time to go. He had to go meet his new squadronmates in the pilot's rec. room. He didn't particularly want to get overly close to them. He just didn't need that right now, but he still had to go through all the usual motions. He did have to work with these people after all, and his life might be in their hands someday.

* * * * *

It was pretty normal as rec. rooms went. Cheap furnishings, but plenty of cheap ale. What more would the average pilot want? There were pilots scattered around the room in various states of drunkeness but it wasn't as busy as you would expect. He was met by his new squadron leader, Andrew as he entered and was led over to a table with 10 othe

 

I can't remember whether you wrote that or not in your original, but it was a great chapter.

 

great start Vasey but I need more of this,

more soon

 

I remember this one. It was very good, but there were some problems I had with it, like Anakin going straight to Luke about himself, and everyone knew who he was (IIRC, it's been awhile). I just thought that was too weird and unlikely. I like this version a whole lot better.

 

Spike: That was all new. I wanted to introduce a character earlier on this time. Their role seemed a little too forced last time, so, if all goes to plan, they''ll have a bit more time to develop and fill their role.

JediFalcon: Thanks. I'm starting on the next post now, so hopefully I'll get it done sometime in the next few days.

Rogue_of-Peace: Yeah, that's that's pretty much why I'm rewriting. Certain things don't seem like such good ideas looking back. This one's still not going to be perfect (stll only my second novel-length story) but it will hopefully be a lot better. I'm glad you're liking it so far.

 

so i read this and compared it to the first version of your story since my memory was a bit clouded (all i could remember were the nice vader scenes - sorry). and i gotta tell you this beginning is a great improvement to the old one. it's far more subtle and also more in character. way to go! and now i'm "patiently" waiting for more...

 

all i could remember were the nice vader scenes

There's a surprise.

I'm glad you like the new beginning. Hopefully I'll keep it up.

 

One of the more bizarre things I've ever written.

* * * * *

Anakin didn't immediately recognise where he was. It was dark, cramped and slightly cold. There where overhanging pipes everywhere. But when he saw the freezing pit in the centre of the chamber, he knew where he was: Bespin. This was where he'd frozen Han Solo in carbonite and dueled Luke. This was where his madness had overtaken him for a moment and had almost caused him to murder his own flesh and blood. Why was he here? This was the last place had had ever wanted to see again.

He heard breathing. Mechanical breathing. Long, deep, mechanical breathing. It wasn't him, so who was it? Danger. Anakin whirled around and saw the Lord Darth Vader stood there, lightsabre in hand and activated. Anakin drew his own sabre and brought it to life. Brought it into a combat stance mirroring Vader's. He couldn't read anything of use from the monster, just overwhelming dark power and overwhelming anger and hate for everything and nothing at the same time. This made no sense.

?Shouldn't you be dead or something,? said Anakin, full of false bravado.

Vader attacked, bringing his blade down hard in an overhand attack. Anakin blocked it, and had to strain to hold it away as Vader pushed down with all his strength. The monster was strong if nothing else. Anakin broke the clinch and stepped backwards, bringing his sabre into a defensive position. Vader came at him again, aiming a powerful strike at Anakin's neck, but Anakin parried the blow away.

Anakin assumed an offensive posture and went on the attack himself, launching quick, probing attacks at his much slower opponent. He blocked them all easily. Maybe not that much slower after all. Now he came back on the offensive, hammering away with all his might, forcing Anakin backwards with each blow. Sweat ran down Anakin's face as he dodged and parried the incredibly powerful and accurate attacks. For the first time in a very long time, he felt fear. He couldn't win this, Vader was too strong, too powerful.

Still the attacks came. Vader fed upon the fear that was growing inside him, growing stronger with each attack. Anakin almost fell several times, but he, somehow, found the strength to stay on his fight as the powerful Sith rained in the blows. He was so strong. Stronger than Anakin remembered him being. He seemed to have no end to his reserves of power, no end to the anger and hate that fuelled him, that fuelled all Sith. Anakin fell further and further back to try and buy time as the onslaught continued.

The monster was pressing him further and further back. Soon there would be nowhere left to retreat to. He was using his mass to cut Anakin off from the rest of the chamber and leave him with no option but to go further and further backwards, closer to the edge. The edge where he would be forced to fall or to die fighting.

?I've beaten you once and I'll beat you again,? said Anakin. Maybe he could distract him.

?A minor skirmish in the overall war,? came the booming reply as Vader once again pressed the attack.

Anakin found himself teetering on the edge. He was sure that, beneath that implacable mask, Vader had a sadistic grin plastered all over his burned face. Anakin stood, lightsabre in hand, on the edge watching as Vader walking towards him, red blade pointed at Anakin's heart. Coming closer and closer till he could almost smell the material of the suit. What was he to do? The blade was at his heart now. He fell.

* * * * *

Anakin lifted himself off the cold, metal floor and tried to recover himself. He ached everywhere and the sweat was pouring off him. But he had to fight on. It was that or death, and he didn't want to die. Even now, after being dead, he still didn't want to die. He wanted to live. He wanted to see his grandchildren grow up, he wanted to be with his family. He called his lightsabre to his hand and began to look around, trying to find some sort of advantage. He was in the chamber above the overhang where Vader'd cut Luke's

 

great post

I remember the first and I liked it like the second version as well

more soon

 

Wow. What a way to wake up eh, Anakin?

Poor Tahiri.

Hehe, Anakin using Qui-Gon as his alias.

He should go confront his children and grandchildren.

Whoa. Anakin vs. Vader. I was thinking of this very same thing the other day.

Don't give in to your anger, Anakin.

It's like he was in the cave on Dagobah.

I don't know if I should be ostracized for this but Tahiri/Anakin Skywalker?

 

JediFalcon: Thanks.

JediMasterKobe: Someone suggested that during the original as well. The age difference makes it just a little bit too freaky for me. Tahiri is mid to late teens, Anakin is an OAP. That's just a little too big a gap. I don't really write romance anyway come to think of it.

 

I am glad I clicked this, didn't expect such a story *drool*
Anakin/Vader is so in character, I loved everything, sort of feels like I'm watching the movies
+faving this story for sure

 

Someone suggested that during the original as well. The age difference makes it just a little bit too freaky for me. Tahiri is mid to late teens, Anakin is an OAP. That's just a little too big a gap. I don't really write romance anyway come to think of it.

LOL. Vasey, I'm pairing Anakin up with someone a millennia younger than him in my story, so I'm sure him and Tahiri could make it

 

?You've got me wrong there. I'm just not at my best right now.? That much was true.
*laughs* Forgot this!
And no.. please don't pair Anakin up with anyone, he's Padme's after all.

 

Ana, that's a hell of a compliment. I agree with you about Anakin as well. He's got his girl, even if she's dead.

I wouldn't want to inflict any attempts by me at writing romance upon the world anyway.

Spike, that sounds interesting, what's the link?

Think I better give you guys a status update. I know what I'm going to write in my next post, but I haven't had time to start on it yet. I'm going to go watch some football tonight, and I have to integrate two quite different pieces of software by the end of the week, so I might not be able to post again till the weekend. Hopefully sooner, but I'm not sure.

 

The one in my sig.

And he won't be getting with her for a while now. And then it'll be a tragic relationship.

 

*plays imperial march and comes in*

now now...vader vs anakin...*tries to decide for whom she should cheer*

that's a nasty bit ya know, but it made total sense...

loved the comment bout vader being good for at least one thing and also him currently not being at his best when it comes to talking. the little chatterbox.

so, hope there'll be more soon!

*runs off again*

*comes back and pulls ana into a hug* hullo sis! you obviously missed something, eh?