Before - Legends Revan [KotOR char., OC's]: Update: A question for the readers...

Just read through the first three chapters and the prologe...very impressive work. I'll be back later and try and finish up the rest. Hopefully I'll get a chance to do that soon.

---TK

 

Thank you! I'm glad you like it! And welcome to my universe. Nice to see you around again so soon after the awards.

Excellent! I look forward to it immensely. Thanks for stopping in.

- Keralys

 

Nice protrayel of the Senate, it shows how even now they are corrupt. Elan seems like Bail, smart, honest, and not corrupt..

 

Thanks. You are, of course, dead right in your appraisal of the Senate as being corrupt. Ellan is interesting, though - he seems a lot like Bail and Mon Mothma on the surface, to be sure, but I think that, like an onion, he has many layers. What those layers look like, you're all going to have to wait a bit to find out.





- Keralys

 

fascinating update keralys! you did a fantastic job through ellan's observations on the senate, establishing his character and reminding us that the senate back then is not very different then what it will be around palpatine's time.
it was a nice touch bringing up the fact that the republic was quite sick of war by that time. especially given ellan's proposal at the end which they agreed upon fairly quickly and unanimously...
look forward to the next part!

 

At last! I like the work you did with the Senate, and how Elan got his proposal accepted like that. Hope to see more updates soon.

 

Thanks! Yeah, I think there are some crucial differences in the Senate from what it looks like at Palpatine's time, but then there are a lot of crucial similarites, as well, not the least being that the beings who are there are those who seek power, influence, fame, etc. So there is a lot of continuity, regardless of when you're talking about. The only difference, really, between that government and ours, is how coherent they are, and how involved with their jurisdictions. Obviously, something that controls a billion worlds will be in a far more difficult place than something that rules only 300 million people.

I'm also glad you like Ellan's point of view. He's definitely going to prove to be an interesting character. He's kind of like an onion, actually...

*nods* Agreed. It's hard to imagine a Republic not tired of war in this circumstance, given just how much war it has seen. I think the situation is probably similar to what we'll be seeing in Legacy of the Force, actually: the citizens of the galaxy are just sick of fighting.

Well, it shouldn't be nearly as long, this time. At least, I don't think so.

At last indeed! I really am sorry it took me so very long. You liked how Ellan's proposal got quickly accepted, hmm? Interesting. We'll have to see what you think in a few weeks/months when the nature of that proposal gets revealed.

More to come relatively soon. I'm working out the ideas for the next post in more detail, then I'll write it up and away we'll go!

- Keralys

 

Well, here I am, at long last. It certainly took me lonmg enough.

Chapter 1 Review:

Well this was an interesting chapter for a beginning, to be sure. A rebellious Padawan, a less-than-totally honest Jedi Council (come to think of it, when haven?t they been like that with their underlings? ), and the intimation of tangled skeins of history and back-story we can only begin to guess at, well, I suppose saying that I really, really like it at this point would be a little redundant, wouldn?t it?

There are a lot of things that I want to say about it, but I think that I?ll continue by admitting that I feel it?s worth reading, in my humble opinion, simply for the description of Bastila alone. Quite apart from capturing Bastila perfectly, it?s the sort of mental/visual evocation that would make any man living pause for a second glance?

Well, that?s hardly the most only aspect of Bastila as a character worthy of note, but nevertheless, it is still an aspect of her character, and a rather important one at that in the game as I seem to recall, certainly in this story, I?d guess, and in this reader?s mind at least, you?ve succeeded at calling it up beautifully.

As for the main focus of the chapter itself?

Really, the only word I can think of to describe the events detailed here is Byzantine. Powerful old men in council are conspiring to manipulate, in nigh-Sithly fashion, a young pawn into doing their bidding, attempting to disarm potential dangers threats by playing impending threats against each other, with half-truth and deception as their weapons.

Surely they have their reasons for such behaviour, justifiable, probably, from that certain point, or points, of view they call their own, but not, it seems, of the sort that can entirely ease the discomfort they obviously feel at manipulating Bastila in this way, but is the threat so dire, that honesty is no longer a consideration for them?

If the Council are willing to engage in such duplicity, it certainly calls into question the purity of their intentions, considering that they seem to be in some ways compromising their ideals, historical precedent notwithstanding, even though the motivations and causes underlying and influencing these decisions are yet to be revealed, but the first reaction to reading such things, at least on my part, is one of distrust and even scorn for them, no matter how dire the threat they face. They are after all, Jedi, and as such shouldn?t they be above such methods? And why do they choose to do this when they fear her potential for darkness?

It?s an interesting dilemma to ponder, and that, combined with the fact that Revan, the acknowledged hero of the piece, is become Mandalore and now leads a fleet against the Republic, brings up even more questions to be addressed, none of them easy, all of them fascinating.

All in all, ner vod, not a bad way to start off a story.

Ori?jatne.

 

Don't worry about it, ner vod. Took me about this long to review Blood Red, and Black, so I think we're pretty much even. I think I'll have to quote you to yourself, though:

I suppose it would, at that. I like your summation of the characters and settings of the first chapter. And this reminds of just how long it's been since I wrote that. I have definitely been letting my readers down! *renews determination to keep up the posting rate henceforth* Tangled skeins of history and backstory? I think there might be just a little bit of that in this 'fic.

Indeed? Well, then I suppose I succeeded in my stated goal in that chapter (stated to myself, not to anyone else, of course) of making the scene, and most particularly Bastila, come alive in the mind of the reader. Captured her perfectly, eh? Well, then I exceeded my expectations and met my goal. I must admit, I find myself somewhat amused by your reaction overall, though. I think that's something akin to what my own was in some sense, though it's a bit different when you're doing the writing, obviously.

I'm thinking that the next chapter of Bastila you read may well counter that, though, by providing the kind of character depth to offset the largely physically oriented impression we got of her in the first chapter, since the second chapter involving her is far more focused on her internal relationship with the world.

You mean the main focus of the chapter wasn't Bastila?

Byzantine... hmm. Interesting. It's not a word that would have come to mind for me in considering it, but I can certainly see how it would be at least somewhat applicable in this case - though I suspect you'll find, in the course of the story, that

 

Sorry. I guess I should have taken a little longer to write this.

 

Oh, don't feel bad at all. It's an understandable impression to get, and I myself am probably going to go back and tighten it up just to make sure that the difference - subtle though it is - comes through, because it is important. Thanks for catching it.

- Keralys

 

Apologies to all and sundry. Hoping a post will be up before this coming weekend, because if it's not it's probably going to be two weeks. I will try, everyone, and I'm so sorry to have kept you all waiting.

- Keralys

 

Great portrayal of the Senate. I could easily picture the senate pods floating around just as they did in the movies. It will be interesting to see what the Senate decided on.

 

Thanks! Seems I'm doing a decent job bringing out the imagery I'm intending to, so I'm glad. As for what they decided... well, I'll be curious to see that, too.

I mean...

Umm...



No, seriously, I think you'll rather like it when I finally get there.

- Keralys

 

Well, I haven't time to get a full post up before this weekend, so it'll be another week or so, at least, but here's a preview.

---
Chapter 12: Title

No plan of battle survives the first contact with the enemy. You should have remembered that, flyboy.

Carth jinked his fighter through a hail of laserfire, reminding himself of that ancient maxim of war as he took in the tactical situation on his screens. Revan's fleet had behaved nothing like Admiral Dodonna predicted once the engagement began, though he had behaved exactly as she had predicted prior to the first shots being fired.

The fighter wave sent out, then pulled back before it had even reached the Republic fleet - that had been the first clue that Revan wasn't going to play the game the way Dodonna thought he was, and things had only gotten stranger since. Revan's fleet was holding back, engaging on a limited front and rotating the ships into different positions - it made sense from a shielding point of view, but it was, well... It's cautious and careful. Not like Revan at all.

Carth shook his head at himself, his flight helmet jostling about slightly. Not your job to worry about. Focus, Onasi. Of course, basically sitting still - or rather, moving along in a holding position along with the rest of the fleet - didn't give him much to focus on, except for the occasional need to slide out of the way of a poorly aimed turbolaser blast from Revan's fleet. The assault fighters were being held back until just before the second fleet jumped in in the ambush, so that they'd be drawing enemy fire and attention, along with opening up fields of attack for the ambushers.

He glanced at his onboard chronometer. Thank the Force. The call to launch should be coming any second now, since the second fleet was due to jump in within three minutes. Right on cue, his comm came alive. "Gold Flight, you are go. Repeat, Gold Flight, you are go. Please follow your assigned vectors to target."

Carth flicked his comm switch. "You heard him, fellows. Let's burn some ions and make a mess."

...

More coming just as soon as I get back from spring break.

- Keralys

 

"Little"?

Commonality again, I suppose. It's positively eerie, sometimes.

I can see that, from what little I recall of the last time I read it. I'll have to make time to go over it again though, given that I need to write a review for that chapter, and also for the fact that I still don't understand any of it.

Great.

Assuming that their audience is Bastila, and not the reader...

As Kal Skirata pointed out, you can't blame a knife for cutting you after you've sharpened it to its limit.

Ahh, interesting, but how is it that so much is dependant upon Bastila, that the Council will go to the extent of practicing deception upon her?

 

Hey sorry it took so long for me to post a reply. But I got your Pm and I went to read the post and shorty after I started to read my mom had me run an aron for her. So I forgot when I got back home and I just remebered about it. And so yeah. Anyway thatnk you for the PM and yes continue to send them they help a lot. So what is it the Senate is going to do? I am really looking forward to the next post!

 

Burn some ions and make a mess...

Indeed, let's! I'm always a fan of making messes!

I'll wait until the rest of the installment for a full reply. Good job, though!

 

I'll try to reply to your replies later, folks. Sorry for the delay on that update; life is crazy right now.

- Keralys

 

Sorry I haven't been present but life's hectic right now. At any rate when's the next chapter?

 

No problem; I understand.

As to the next chapter, that's a very good question.

I honestly don't know whether or not I'm going to continue posting on this story. I'll be deeply sorry to see it go if it needs to, because I've rather enjoyed working on it, and I have put a lot of thought into it. At this point, though, my real-world stuff is just taking up too much time I think. I'm not sure. I have three pieces of music I'm working on writing at this point, as well as two large papers. And when I am writing, I'm working on my real novel, not this...

So would you all prefer I keep doing this, but at extremely irregular intervals, or would you simply prefer to say farewell?

- Keralys

 

The former, I'd say, but that's not my choice.

 

The former as well.

 

Thanks, guys. Two votes noted. That's probably sufficient. Forewarning, though: it's likely it'll be mid-May before that turns into a full post.

- Keralys

 

I too would prefer the former.