Beyond Revenge for The Big Chill - The Dead Jedi Society - L/M - (This is kayladie's fault! )

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by GreatOne, Apr 27, 2004.

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  1. GreatOne Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2003
    star 4
    Sooo.... kayladie97 thinks she can kill Hanny-bear and get away with it, does she?? muahahhahahaha. [face_devil]


    The Dead Jedi Society- (or "Mara Ages" ) ;)

    "Hi honey, I'm home!" the ever cheerful Luke Skywalker called out as he stepped into the foyer of the noisy home.

    "Daddy!" the cries of three rambuctious children called out as they came tearing around a corner, bed sheets trailing behind as capes.

    Luke knelt down and hugged his boys, ages three, five and eight. "Hi, kids! Emeril, have you been putting on your mommy's lipstick again?" he asked the five year old.

    "It's blood," Emeril declared defiantly. "Mommy doesn't care!"

    "She does too," Kerby the eight year old argued. "She gets really mad everytime you wreck her makeup."

    "And, just out of curiousity," Luke said indulgently, "where did you get the sheets?"

    "Off our beds," Emeril said, before tearing away with the other two following after. They didn't seem to notice when the sheets tipped over a large lamp, sending the broken pieces flying in all directions. Of course, since the entire house looked like Gamorreans had spent the day having a wrestling match, one more broken object was hardly noticeable.

    "You're cheating!" a girl's voice yelled out from the next room.

    "No, I'm not! You're just too stupid to know how to play," another female argued back.

    Deciding to try and break up the fight before it got started, Luke walked into the family room where his daughters were playing a violent video game. Putting his hands on his hips, he tried to glare at his thirteen-year old twin daughters. "What's going on in here?"

    "Annita cheats!"

    "No, I don't! You're stupid!"

    "Now, Padtee," Luke laughed. "Don't call your sister stupid. It's not nice. Where is your mother?"

    "I think she's in the kitchen."

    Just then, a loud, screechy voice yelled over the intercomm. "Have you girls cleaned your bedroom yet? I swear, if I have to come in there...."

    "Oh, there's the love of my life!" Luke called out happily as he left the two girls to continue playing. He knew they wouldn't clean up their bedroom - they never did.

    As he entered the kitchen, Luke grinned broadly as his haggard looking wife tried feeding their twin six-month old boys, Ben and Gen. "Hello, my love!"

    "What did you just call me?" Mara asked in a deadly voice. Her hair, once a beautiful red-gold, hung in limp, frizzy, orange-gray strands. "Are you being sarcastic?"

    So it appeared she was in one of those moods....Luke held up his hands in a gesture of peace. "I would never be sarcastic, my love. You are the best, most beautiful mother in the galaxy!" Of course, now that he looked carefully at her, he noticed she was letting herself go, just a little. "Did you comb your hair this morning?"

    Mara stood up, dropping the spoonful of baby goop food. It clattered on the floor, making both babies start screaming at the top of their lungs. "Did - I - comb - my - hair?" She was frowning so hard, Luke wondered why he had never noticed her many crows-feet before now. Perhaps Palpatine was her father, as he had always suspected. After all, wrinkles seemed to be hereditary, right?

    "It was just a little question," Luke yelled over the screaming babies. "The boys seem to have made their sheets dirty. You really should keep better track of what they do."

    "WHAT?"

    "I said..."

    "I heard you, you, you.... inconsiderate, worthless, meditating Jedi!" she screamed at him, picking up a small plate and throwing it at his head.

    Using the Force, Luke sent the plate and its contents crashing into the far wall. "Mara! You're acting worse than our children."

    "How dare you! I sit home all day long trying to take care of these brats you keep getting me pregnant with, and you dare to tell me I act worse than they do? Where are YOU all day long? Watching your stupid students train with their lightsabers and sitting around cross-legged and humming! And then you have the NERVE to come tell me I'm acting worse than the kids
  2. TheCrazyRodian Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 3, 2004
    star 4
    ::Chokes::

    Hah! I can't believe you did this! Hahaha.

    ::Falls on the floor laughing and promptly dies::
  3. JediNemesis Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2003
    star 4
    GreatOne kills Luke in A Kaleidoscope of Illusions.

    kayladie97 kills Han in The Big Chill.

    GreatOne kills Luke again in The Dead Jedi Society.

    Talk about a vicious circle. :p

    Nem :)
  4. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    LOL!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    I think they call this 'justifiable homicide.' All right, I did think cutting off his head was a little extreme. Strangling would've been acceptable, though.

    You realize kayladie is probably already plotting a revenge story, don't you? (If she's seen this yet, that is.)
  5. kayladie97 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2003
    star 4
    :eek: :eek: Oh. My. GOD! Now it is not fair that your revenge killing of Luke should be funnier than my revenge killing of Han! Not fair, I say! [face_laugh]

    Of course, I know this didn't really happen because Lukie would be a WONDERFUL father and he and Mara would have a PERFECT relationship! :p

    And she chopped off his head?! At least Han only got a blaster to the chest! Upping the ante, are we?

    This will require some serious thought, but all I can say is...WATCH YOUR BACK, HANNY-BEAR!!!
  6. Tekli_theInsane Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2004
    star 2
    HILARIOUS! But poor Luke! Even if he was being an idiot... :D Great. That was veeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyy funny. [face_laugh]
  7. GreatOne Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2003
    star 4
    TheCrazyRodian - I can't believe you did this! - It's ALL kayladie97's fault! Honest!

    JediNemesis - GreatOne kills Luke in A Kaleidoscope of Illusions - Now, I have been equally mean to everyone in that story, not just Luke! :D - Besides, kayladie97 started it with keeping Han and Leia apart in "Sleight of Hand"! ;)

    Jedi-2B - All right, I did think cutting off his head was a little extreme - Luke didn't know what hit him! LOL - You realize kayladie is probably already plotting a revenge story, don't you? - :eek: - NOOOOOO!

    kayladie97 - Of course, I know this didn't really happen because Lukie would be a WONDERFUL father and he and Mara would have a PERFECT relationship - OF COURSE!! :p - At least Han only got a blaster to the chest! Upping the ante, are we? - ONLY??? :mad: ONLY?????? - First, you have Leia keep Han frozen in carbonite (which even the Canon describes as pure wide-awake torture) FOR YEARS AND YEARS! And then you have Chewie LEAVE him!! :_| And then you have Leia tell Han she married LANDO!!! [face_devil] And then, after all those evil shocks to his system, you have her SHOOT HIM! (and I'd think a blaster shot would be more painful than having your head cut off with a lightsaber, anyway) And for what reason?? Because he said "I know" during the moment he thought was his last! (I always thought the "I know" was funny AND romantic, anyway [face_love] ) Boy, Vader never could compete with how Sithy you made Leia in that story, let me tell you! [face_laugh] Poor Hanny-Bear! ;)

    Tekli_theInsane - But poor Luke! - hehe. Luke deserved it! It should be "poor Mara!" LOL
  8. StarForce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 1, 2004
    star 1
    [face_shocked] [face_laugh] I feel sorry for Luke, but that was just hilarious! You're sooooo good at humour! That was the funniest story I've read in a long time (and welcome after studying all weekend for the exam that I unexpectedly survived today!) [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    So you wrote another story too? I'll have to go find that!
  9. LukesTheMan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 30, 2004
    star 3
    Absolutely, positively HILARIOUS! This was priceless. Poor Luke, he should have known better than to open his big yap to Mara. I mean, we're talking about Mara Jade here! HELLO! Seriously a wonderful piece of work!
  10. Jaina_and_Jag Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 19, 2003
    star 5
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] That was great GreatOne!!! :D Mara chopping his head off was a nice touch! [face_laugh]
  11. Fels_Hammer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2004
  12. AnakinsHeir Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 2, 2004
    star 3
    I LOVED this! One of the funniest things I've read in ages! Luke! Come on, you insult her and THEN try to get romantic?? Bad move, my man. Bad move! Great viggie!
  13. Kazzy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 17, 2002
    star 4
    The war between GreatOne and kayladie is esculating! Run for cover! :p

    Seriously this is a great fic. LOL. Go Mara for chopping off Luke's head. All those force-sensitive kids.
  14. GreatOne Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2003
    star 4
    StarForce - Wow! Look at all the people that read this since yesterday! :eek: My other current story is on the Saga Boards, but it is long, and isn't a comedy. (too much, anyway!) ;) - I'm glad you liked this. :)

    LukesTheMan - Thank you! Insulting a stressed out Mara is not wise! [face_laugh]

    Jaina_and_Jag -Mara chopping his head off was a nice touch! -I thought so, too! [face_laugh]

    Fels Hammer - Why did you do that? - The Big Chill, by kayladie97 - ;)

    AnakinsHeir - Bad move, my man. Bad move! - LOL! Especially with an ex-assassin! :D

    Kazzy - The war between GreatOne and kayladie is esculating! Run for cover! - LOL! Who will wave the white flag first!? :) :)
  15. Laura_Anu Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 27, 2002
    star 4
    Ha ha! Hilarious! I loved Mara...that was perfect. I can definetly imagine her cutting off Luke's head!
  16. Ariapaige Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2002
    star 2
    I think I missed the beginning of the war... i'll have to go find it now... Anyway

    :eek: okay, so I love Luke, but, yeah, I think that this was justifiable. Gotta love Mara. :D

    I'm off to find the others now...
    ;) Paige
  17. GreatOne Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2003
    star 4
    Laura_Anu - hehe. [face_devil] - Luke was really being a dork, wasn't he? ;)

    Ariapaige - I think I missed the beginning of the war - [face_laugh] - This is a FUN sort of war! ;)
  18. Darth_Lex Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 17, 2002
    star 4
    *delurks* [face_blush]

    Filling out the awards nominations made me remember I'd never replied here.

    This was so funny! I loved how clueless Luke was. [face_laugh] And his attitude about the whole situation was so well done - he was totally callous, and yet it came across as his ordinary sympathetic self. Great job with that! :D

    And that ending - [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Great viggie! And wonderful companion to kayladies. You two should write dueling viggies more often. ;)
  19. Iamof18 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2004
    SPLUTTER!!

    Ok GreatOne you get come and clean the milk off of my monitor.

    Sheeking with laughter
  20. GreatOne Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2003
    star 4
    Darth_Lex - I loved how clueless Luke was - hehe. He was a lame-brain in this story. :)

    Iamof18 - Thank you for reading it, but you're gonna have to clean the milk off your computer yourself! LOL! [face_laugh]
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