Saga (Revenge of) Mr. Sith Goes to Springfield - A Star Wars/Simpsons Crossover. Final Updated 8-2-06

Glad you enjoyed the updates, Reagan and Shadowknight! I hope you both like this one as
well!


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****************(Flanders vs. Darth Tater (Homer))**********************



The fight takes Tater and Flanders inside the conference room where the

Dark Lord had killed the Separatist leaders. On top of the long conference table they

duke it out with their laser swords. Flanders slices a chandelier hanging on the ceiling so

that it falls on Tater?s head. After saying ?Ow!?, Tater leaps hard on the end of his table,

forcing Flanders?s end up like a seesaw. Flanders?s head flies through the ceiling and

there his body is stuck.



?Hee Hee!? laughs Darth Tater ?Look how stupid you look hanging there and kicking

your feet! Well I?m gonna cut them off!?



And as Tater retracts his lightsaber, Flanders gives him a good kick in the head to send

him flying off the table and onto his back. After this, Flanders pulls his head free and

the dual continues.



In the heat of their fight, their bodies draw close together, close enough for Tater to

reach out and grab the arm of Flanders that held his lightsaber. With great strength, he

pulls it up towards Flanders?s neck, hoping to make his former Master cut his own throat.

His other arm is wrapped around Flanders?s neck, giving him a choke hold the old

fashioned way!


Flanders gasps as his tongue drops from his mouth while watching the nearing ray blade.



?HA HA! That?s right Flanders! Lick this up! It?s a blueberry popsicle! Yummy!?



But with a jolt from the Force, Flanders lunges in a forward bend and flips Darth Tater

over his bead as the Dark Lord somersaults in the air and lands lands on the table,

crushing it to pieces.



?A big fat lug you are and I can still throw you around!? Flanders says.

?Oh yeah?? cries Tater as he rises to his feet. ?Try and out shove me in a Force

shoving contest!?


And so the contest starts, and both men have the other man lifted up in the air

with the Force. They try to ?Force propel? each other across the room. Darth

Tater is moving Flanders inch by inch despite his attempts to resist it. And poor

Flanders, he tries to Force shove Tater but, after he pushes him a millimeter or

so he comes right back. His weight is too much!



?Ha Flanders! I knew all that food and beer I ate and drank over the years would work

against you one day!



Well Flanders isn?t giving up, and right before he?s is backed midair against the wall,

a burst of Force energy comes over Flanders and he shoves Darth Tater, fat and all

againt the wall. Tater does the same to his opponent, but Flanders is already at the wall

so he receives a gentle nudge to his shoulder. But Tater smashes right through the wall

to land on the steel planks outside. Flanders jumps through the hole in the wall after

him. Tater is back on his feet and the lightsaber dual resumes on these planks and beams

that stretch out over the deadly rivers of flowing lava!



**********************(Yoda vs. Mr. Burns )*********************


Mayor Quimby has escaped into a pod seat of his own, fleeing the podium where the

deadly blades of Yoda and Mr. Burns were slashing within inches of his life!

Now that his immediate safety is intact, he wonders what to make of this: Two Force

gurus interrupting a session of the senate to duke it out! Never has anything like this

happened before! Senators are screaming in fear. They are questioning their safety

ready to flee the seats and never return to this auditorium again. It was so easy

for them to wage war in their comfortable senate seats. For the war was always ?far

away? and never did these boobs ever have to worry about getting even a scratch from

the battles of the Clown War. Now, the war was right under their noses!




Going with his need to lead the senate while having unanimous approval at all times, he

d

 

Great stuff, funny, yet exciting!

 

That's great! I loved the part with Sideshow Mel. Man I nearly missed this one, I only found it because I put my screenname in the Search.

 

Thanks again, Shadowknight and Reagan!

I can PM you when I update, I do this for Shadowknight.



Well, here's more of the story!



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Back in the Senate Chambers On Croissant, Emperor Burns addresses the confused

senators that are remaining after the ?unfortunate accidents? that killed the rest.


?Alright you slackers! Master Yoda has escaped. And you know what? Why I

just discovered that that little green critter is a leprechaun! That?s right my gold thirsty

friends, if ya catch him for me, than the gold he has hidden is yours!?


The room fills with ?horrays? and ?yippies?


?And as a pre-rewward for your efforts, I will give away to you some of my precious

money!?


?Yays? fill the room.

?Free silver credit coins for everybody!?


And from the ceiling, coins begin to fall, their momentum increasing with each deci-

meter. They eventually crash upon the remaining senators, cracking some skulls and

slitting their way into people?s faces. Poor Cletus, a coin severs its way inside his

inbred brain. He is left as a vegetable with a red neck.


It?s chaos as everyone scatters to get the Hell out of the chambers to avoid the coins and

get on with their search for Yoda.


Mr. Burns looks over the scene. ?Hmmm!? he says to himself. ?That stunt didn?t go over

so well. Ahh who cares! Less squabbling bureaucrats to deal with.?


He turns to look at some of his clown troopers who stand nearby.

?Fetch me my cruiser, clowns! I must get to Mustafar. I sense Lord Tater is introuble!?


?It will be done my Lord? responds a clown who follows with ?Ho ho ha ha!?


**********************************************************************

Apu is right on time to catch Yoda who jumps out of the sewer tube. To his surprise,

The Jedi Master is not alone! He has two children with him.


Once inside Apu?s speeder, Yoda explains.


?Found these two I did in the tubes I crawled. Younglings they are, Padawans that have

survived the purge. Their bodies, harmed and useless are they. But their brains, plenty

active they are. They cannot speak, they cannot open their eyes!?


Yoda has discovered Martin and Ralph Wiggum. Remember when Burns electrocuted

them and tossed them down the tubes? Well here they are!


?My goodness!? Apu responds. ?We must get them medical attention immediately!?


After taking a second look at Yoda, Apu realizes the Jedi Master is still without clothes


?Augh! Oi! Please, never let me look at a nude Jedi again. Homer was too much and you

are not any tasty icing on a cake! Here take this outfit. It was for our child if Manjula

was ever to give birth!?


Yoda grunts and begins to put on the baby suit. It was for a girl baby, and poor Yoda

Is dressed in a pink dress with a pink baby bonnet decorated with hearts and buterflys


?My my, you are almost a sweet little angel, hoo hoo hoo!? Apu says with a laugh


?Up you will Shut!? hollers Yoda. ?Take us to your cruisers and the hell out of here you

will get us!?


?Oakey Doakey!? Apu says as Yoda mumbles to himself ?Failed to get the Sith I did.

Failed to get my robe I did. Dignity I have lost. Again I say in exile I must go.?


?Oh I agree!? Apu says. ?Not only that, but all the remaining sentators are searching for

you! I have just received an email that states you are a leprechaun and they want your

gold!?


Yoda simply shakes his head ?Figures it does! Brainless morons are the senators!?

Apu is insulted for Yoda was perhaps forgetting that he was a senator. He clears

his throat loudly while looking at Yoda expectedly, waiting for an apology. Yoda

instead looks directly at Apu and repeats. ?Like I said, brainless morons are the

Senators.?


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"I don't care what albums you own," hehe. The silver dollars were great, that was a funny scene from that episode.

 

Great update, poor Homer, tempted by erotic cakes, finished by losing his hair.

 

Thanks again guys for your comments!


Let's go on!


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Two ships can be seen flying in space. One is Flanders?s who has locked onto

the coordinates of Yoda and Apu. Into an asteroid he lands to meet them as

he carries the dying Marge Simpson off the ship and into a medical facility.

The other ship is that of Mr. Burns, who lands at a hospital of the Empire.

Off the ship troopers carry Darth Tater. Many troopers indeed!



Medical droids examine the two younglings in one room while Marge is being treated

in another, also under the care of these modern electronic doctors. Apu, Flanders, and

Yoda wait apprehensively for an update on these three cases, hoping for the best. To ease

their stress, Apu and Flanders occasionally takes shots at Yoda in his baby dress.


?It?s amazing, you sure look diddly darling!? Flanders says with a chuckle. ? And

here I thought pink clashed with green, but you Master Yoda defy all the laws of color

association!?


Yoda scowls. ?Warn you I do to keep quiet or suffer Apu?s fate you will!?


And Apu lets his tongue drop from his mouth. Upon it, contains a deep and detailed

imprint of the end of Yoda?s cane.


?Oopsie!? Flanders exclaims ?Thank you for that helpful warning, Apu! Sure wouldn?t

want my tongue to be the victim of Yoda?s viscious cane!?


Well the time for jokes and slapstick comedy is coming to an end. Into the waiting

room enters a medical droid with sorrowful news to report.


?I?m afraid that there is no hope in restoring functionality to the bodies of the two

younglings.?


The three men look down in sorrow.


?Their brains are operating at maximum efficiency, with one youngling showing

an amazing ability to process huge amounts or data, while the other, although

functioning to its best, is rather slow and..shall we say..infantile??


?Already know their intelligence, we do.? Yoda responds. ?Sad it is that their bodies

are unable to reconnect with the brain that supports them.?


?If it is any consolation,? The droid continues. ?I will tell you that their brains

can be preserved. They will need to be extracted from their bodies and stored

in special solutions to keep them in their pristine state. Perhaps they can be

transplanted into a donor body. This procedure has only been preformed successfully

twice, but at least that gives us some hope.?


Yoda contemplates for a second or two before responding.


?I agree. The brain extraction process you may perform. Now, the status of Marge

Simpson we wish to hear.?


The reporting droid releases a beeping sigh before responding.



?Medically, she is perfectly healthy, but for reasons we cannot explain, we are losing

her. We need to work fast if we are to save the children.?


?Children?? Apu questions.


?Yes sir.? The droid replies. ?She is carrying more than one child in her body. And the

mid wife droid needs some assistance with the delivery.?


So good old Obi-Hi-Diddly volunteers.

*****

Meanwhile, Darth Tater is on a medical table of his own. He screams in

agony as medical droids rewire him without the use of anesthetics!


?YEEOOOWW!!!!! EIII!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!? He hollers as the

droids splice together circuit wires, blood vessels and neural dendrites when hooking him

up with mechanical arms and legs. The most agonizing procedure, though, is the

pumping and cleansing out of his stomach. Because of that deep intrusion

into his gut from Flanders?s lightsaber, a mechanical digestive system would be needed

also. A great amount of damage had been caused to an already toxic wasteland of a

digestive system. The old stuff had to be tossed to make way for the new stuff. But this

was more than a simple liposuction! Out would come his stomach lining, his digestive

track, along with many digestive organs Tater had neglected over the years.


Lying flat on his tummy, Darth Tater is pu

 

Ah man what a great ending, the description of Tater's life support was great, and I loved the teaser. It had me laughing so much!

 

Thanks Reagan, but it's not the ending. I still have a couple more updates to do before
it ends!

 

Here comes another update




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So two children of Homer Simpson have been born! They were children of

great importance! They were children of hope! But they were also in great

danger. If Mr. Burns discovered their existence, he would be on these kids butts

like an old, unchanged diaper! The two Jedi and Apu would have to think

quickly in an undisturbed setting, afterwhich, they would have to get the

heck off this asteroid with the children ASAP before the regularly scheduled

Imperial Asteroid sweeper comes along and discovers all of them together.


Into a room Apu, Flanders and Yoda (having tossed the dress in exchange for a new robe)

rush with the children and seal the door to keep their plans secret from all those droids,

one of which is trying desperately to get their attention.


?Excuse me, but I have an important matter to discuss concerning Marge?s

children.?


Yoda hurriedly responds to the droid. ?Important matters regarding the children

we alone will discuss. Afterwhich, away we will go, no more conversing will we

do with you.?


Yoda rushes and seals himself away with the others, leaving behind a perplexed

medical droid.


?Oh dear.? The droid says to another. ?I did not have the chance to tell him that there is a

third child, another girl!?


The child survived Marge?s death, and a C section was performed to bring the

girl out.


?It appears that they are not interested in her or her fate.? The other droid says.

as it looks out the window and sees a ship entering their asteroid hanger..a ship

from another galaxy!


?Whoever these people are and wherever they come from, let?s send the baby

with them?


So that is what happened. That was the end of it. (?)



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In the sealed room, the three wise men discuss the fate of the children.


?Hidden from the Emperor, these children must be.? Yoda states. ?Sent to a place where

the Sith cannot sense their presence is what me must do.?


?And it?s probably best to separate them.? Flanders mentions. ?I for goodness sake know

that a happy family is a together family. But there is no gosh darn diddly way out of this.

If these children stick together, that might create a big ol vergence in the Force for Mr.

Nasty Burns to sniff out!?


?I agree.? Yoda says.


Apu thinks for a moment then presents an offer. ?I will take one of the kids. Me and

Manjula have been trying so hard to make one ourselves, but those damn potency pills I

swallow have the same affect on my little Brahman soldiers as a firecracker does on a

dead llama. So we need to adopt and me taking a child will save me the trouble of going

through all those horrendous forms at Springfield?s Department of Children and Family

Services. All those frustrating immigration forms required to enter this

galaxy has kept me away from all forms in all their forms.?


?Wow!? Flanders says. ?So that is why Alderaan has kept neutral on almost every issue

with exception to the Clown War vote.?


?That?s right my Jedi friend! Sheesh, reading those Senate bills can really hurt your

head!?


?Settled the matter is then? Yoda interjects ?To Alderaan with Apu, Bart will go.?


Apu?s eyes light up in terror.

?OYE!!! Oh no no, you Jedi misunderstand me! No , never will I take the boy. I?d

rather die and come back as a Hutt boil than take that hyper brat. It is the girl

I will take!?


?Well we sure are in a hum dinger of a situation.? Flanders says. ?If Lisa goes with

Apu, then what will become of the boy??


Yoda and Apu exchange slightly deviant smiles with each other before redirecting them

at Flanders. Then, their fingers point at him.


?M-m-me?? Flanders says with nervous surprise as the other two nod their heads.


?W-well I gotta tell you, it?s a hum-diddly dumble of a humbling and honoring

 

Hehe.

Ouch!

Awesome, Ottoman!

 

Poor Bart, he has to be raised by Patty & Selma...I'd almost rather live with Flanders.

And poor Maggie, who knows where she ends up.

And poor Ralph, as confused as always.

 

OHHH! I forgot to put the "To Be Continued" in there

Oh well, I just added it now!


Thanks for reading, Reagan And Shadowknight!

 

Wow! I was just reading your fic of this SW and The Simpson's crossover and I must say that they are a fantastic combination!
*Laughs head off*:There were some very funny bits in it too!!!
You have truly captured the lovable cartoon into the most recent SW movie with the caracters chosen for their parts of the story. I especially liked that preview you did of Episode IV: A new Brat :
The Evil Empire has attacked Princess Lisa's ship, seeking the secret plan they have stole. The Evil Lord Tater is on board, bossing his men around


?Commander, tear this ship apart until you?ve found those

plans, and bring be back a pizza, I want it with pepperoni!?

Hah-hah! Great line of Homer's way of imposing as Darth Tater(Vader), sounds just like him all the way through!

They capture Princess Lisa:


?Darth Tater! Only you could be so bold! The Imperial Senate will not stand for this.

When they hear?.?


?Ooooh I?m so scared!!? Tater interrupts with a sarcastic fretting falsetto that sounds

so funny coming through his Sith Lord Mask. The Imperial Senate,

where is it? Oh no, it?s coming to get me!?

Terrific! Great job on this fic!

Star Wars and The Simpsons, I love them both!

 

Welcome to the story, Empress Jade! I'm glad you liked it! Hope you'll join us
for Episode V cause....This will be the last update for Episode 3! Thank you all
who have commented. Special thanks to Shadowknight1 and reagan64 for following
the story regularly. It was nice to see people who appreciate it.


Well, let's finish this, shall we?



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Most of the planet of Texas shows up for the funeral procession for senators Marge and

Barney. All along the streets people line up to mourn and say goodbye as the bodies

pass their way. Many tears are shed for Marge as her casket pod floats down

the street. She is beloved by all.


Moe blows his nose into his handkerchief.


?There goes the hottest human dame my reptile eyes have ever had the pleasure of ogling

over. This is so not right! Sniff!?


Poor Moe hardly had enough tears to shed for Barney, who?s body floats by inside

one of the gutters at the edge of the road. Barney?s wish upon death was to have his

body set loose into the eternal sea of alcohol. His wish is granted as his body heads

toward that Great Spirit in the sky, err..excuse me, toward that Great Sewer in the

Ground.


?So long ol pal!? Moe says in a final toast to his best and worst patron as he floats by

him beneath his feet. ?I?m gonna miss ya, and I may even let ya you off on some of the

bar tab!?


As much as Barney slacked in his beer payments, the money he did give to Moe

up front over the years was a tidy sum. It kept his business running. Now..there

was no future in Moe?s, not with it?s best customer dead and all. So?it is time

to relocate, time for him to get away and leave behind all the sadness and find a

place where his business might thrive. Maybe serving pilots, smugglers, pirates

and other degenerates of the galaxy might fill his wallet again! He would try

it out. He will relocate to Mos Eisely, a spaceport on Tatooine.



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Apu is now on Croissant in a secret building with other rebellious senators. It has been

a trying week. Arranging Marge?s funeral has taken a lot out of him. And his poor heart

broke as he held up baby Lisa on his shoulders to watch the passing of her mother?s

casket and to feel her little baby tears trickle off of her cheek and onto his.


There had been too much senseless destruction in the galaxy, too many deaths, to many

broken homes and abandoned children. Apu was not going to sit back and let all these

injustices go by unpunished. The Emperor had to be defeated. And that was the topic

of this meeting: to form an alliance against the Empire.


Lisa lies quietly in a crib while the seven grown ups talk.

?I hear Corellia has a rebel movement!? Apu says. ?Maybe if I can talk its leader into

uniting with us!?


?Ha!? Edna Mon-Motha Crabable scoffs. ?Those Corellians only care about themselves.

They won?t unite with anyone?for any cause..not even to wed a sexy hard up senator

with such perky eyes!? At this time, Edna blinks here eyelids and waves her long fake

eyelashes at a guy next to her before she turns back to the table. ?Sigh! Whatever

happened to Omar!?


?Well Edna!? Some dark skinned guy with a long shaggy gray beard says. ?I don?t

hear any ideas from you. You have not made any effort to organize a secret rebellion on

your own planet!?


?Hey! We rebel our own way! We strike from the Empire, and instead of forming picket

lines we stay home and smoke cigarettes and catch up on the soaps!?


?But Edna? says a lady with a big blue head. ?That is no protest at all! That is no threat

to the Empire, they don?t even know you?re striking. But I shouldn?t talk, I have no idea

what the rebellion movement on my system is all about. I haven?t done much either.?


?Oh this is so confusing!? Apu complains ?Too many rebellions are starting up with no

common inter

 

Exxxcellent!This final chapter is truly fantastic if not hilariously funny.
Escpecially where Darth Tater uses the new Stormtroopers as bowling pins! Look at him now. He?s over there in the corner.. using his new gut as a bowling aid against the stormtroopers who he?s using as pins.?
?Ya know, this is so ironic, Bowling pins are white, and you guys are white! Hee hee! Well here goes nothing!?
Lol!That was great!
But poor Apu having to cope with his and Manjula's octuplets when he just brought Baby Lisa home...No wonder he decided to hit the bottle.

Good job with this final updateI'll look foreward to see the next trilogy starting with A New Brat!

 

A great finish! Loved Apu coming home with Lisa and finding eight other kids, that was hilarious.

I can't wait for A New Brat.

 

Nice final update! Poor Apu, nine kids now.

And poor Bart! Run Bart, run!!