Revenge of the Sith (A Fanfic Episode III) - New! Alternative Ending, 9/16

Greetings everyone! This is my fanfic vision of what Star Wars Episode III could be like. Why would a measely fanfic author like myself dare to presume to write a version of Ep 3? Not out of any belief that I could do a better job than George Lucas! The short story is, when AOTC came out I was so captivated by it I was dying to know what Ep III would be like. Madly searching the Net for spoilers, I eventually came across a fanfic called Knightfall, which is a complete Ep III story as well and one I liked very much! Speculating about what Ep 3 could be like, I decided to put all my ideas together into an Ep 3 script, which I wrote two weeks after AOTC came out!

When I posted it on my website, and links to it here on TF.N and the OS, people seemed to like it, so I decided I would one day flesh out my script into a complete story like Knightfall. Having now acquired a taste for writing fanfics, before doing this I first wrote two stories, The Love of a Jedi and Broken Vows, which are stories about how A/P decided to get married, and what happens when their secret marriage is discovered, respectively. In addition to entertaining myself and hopefully others by writing it, this Ep 3 story will help set up my next two fanfics.

Revenge of the Sith (script version) was my first fanfic, and so it is a standalone story, but my other two stories have been written as 'prequels' to this one, so I hope people who haven't done so would be willing to check them out (especially Broken Vows, which really sets up this story). And for those who have read my script elsewhere, be advised that although it is largely the same, there are some important differences, particularly in the beginning.

Whew! Okay, enough chitchat, on to the Prologue! I hope you enjoy it, and whatever your feelings about it may eventually be, we can all rest assured that the real thing will be infinitely better than anything I could put together! Think of it as an appetizer for the main course--which won't come for 2 years and 3 months, unfortunately!


Disclaimer: the characters, places and locations used in this story are the sole property of George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd. and the authors who created them. They are being used only in a non-profit manner!



-----

Prologue


?The Senate is adjourned.?

Upon hearing those words from the Supreme Chancellor, the Senate Chamber slowly began to empty.

Senator Padmé Amidala of Naboo rose haltingly from the seat of her booth, as if she were suddenly struck by some enervating malady. Representative Binks came to her side, unsure of the cause of her discomfort, but always willing to be helpful.

?You?sa okay??

Amidala smiled weakly. ?Yes, Jar-Jar. I?m just a little tired, that?s all. Have a good evening, Representative Binks.?

The lankly Gungan nodded and shuffled out. Sighing, before she left the Chamber she turned around to look back one last time. It was nearly empty, save for a few odd delegates talking here and there. The central podium was still elevated, as Palpatine was still speaking to his aides. Seeing her glance his way, he raised his head and proffered a smile.

Smoothly she smiled and bowed in turn. Then she left the Chamber in a hurry.


Outside the Chamber, the hallways were slowly emptying. All around her were the muffled voices of conversation, many quieter than usual, all of them somber in tone. She paused, looking out the windows to the twilight skylines of Coruscant. Under the steadily setting sun the towers and pyramids stood tall and proud as they always had. The never-ending streams of traffic flowed to and from as usual. Everything seemed normal.

?Normal,? she breathed. ?What I wouldn?t pay to have things normal again??

Times were anything but normal these days. Three years of horrific conflict had

 

Ooh, this is exciting, Scruffy-looking! I read "Love of a Jedi" and "Broken Vows" and enjoyed them both, and this looks to follow that trend! Can't wait for the next post!

 

So it has begun! RotS was what first got me hooked to your fics, Scruffy... and I'm delighted to be reading it now in prose form.

He will be my precious heir, my greatest creation. Tasting the forbidden fruit of prescience, the Dark Lord could pierce beyond the veil of the moment and perceive the oncoming tide. What he saw was glorious: his target, the young one upon whom his foes had placed so much hope, would become the very instrument of their destruction. Through him, he would ensure the perpetual reign of the Sith.

Pretty powerful stuff there. Those lines had me in shivers. I really enjoy the way you write Palpatine. You always do a great job with him.

Looking forward to more!

P.S. You say Knightfall is a good fic? Do you by any chance have a link to it or know on which boards I can find it?

~*Senoj*~

 

A fascinating start, Scruffy!

I think your Padme and Anakin here are dead-on; I expect we will be introduced to emotions very much like these is the opening of the film. She sees the dangers; he sees the opportunities. Marvelous!

And, as always, Obi-Wan is tormented and Palpatine is the perfect evil genius. (Love the "ROTJ Emperor" look to him three years later, by the way! )

Very much looking forward to more!!!

p.s. Wish I had the time to write posts this long... [face_very_jealous]

 

Great start Scruffy,

I read the AOTC book before seeing the movie, I did not stop my enjoyment of the movie at all. At times I may regret reading the script before this project. I am sure you will surprise me along the way, I forget details after time passes.

I am looking forward to this version completely. I will consider my posts carefully in the future (and not write ANY spoilers). You?re back in my No. 1 spot in my favorite shortcuts.

Very pleased it has begun...

 

Ahhh, well done!
Nuff said - more please
Reb

 

Very cool! Been waiting for this.

One other thing... does anyone know if the Clone troopers and the Storm
troopers are the same thing? Cause I remember in the original films
that they did look different and have different personalities.

 

Knightfall:
http://nickgeo.50megs.com/knightfall.htm

My Master's Blade:
http://nickgeo.50megs.com/blade.htm

 

Ooooo! Scruff, you've got me hooked...again. Not that I don't want to be hooked or anything...

Wow. Padme is feeling just a tinsy bit depressed isn't she? Ol' Palpy is starting to show his age is he? Don't believe him! He's aging from the Dark Side!

Some scarry thoughts thought out by Sidious there. *sigh* Wish he didn't have to ruin Padme and Anakin's relationship. Ah, well, you know what they say, celebrity marriges, they never last.

 

Hi everyone, my apologies for not posting sooner. DRL is a big factor, but the real reason for the delay was something unexpected: I didn't think it would be as difficult to write action scenes as it turned out! As many of you know, my previous expertise is in mush and angst! Writing action well is a challenging thing, and I have a new respect for those who do!

This first chapter starts off with a bang, and wouldn't you know it, it's so long I have to break it up into two parts! But before doing so, let me first thank my readers!

stacysatrip - Thanks for being the first to respond! I'm glad you enjoyed my first two stories, hope you find this one entertaining as well.

JediSenoj451 - Always nice to see a familiar face! Thanks for the compliment, although by the end of this story you'll probably really, really hate him!

Darth Lex - Thank you; your assessments are right on, I think! Writing long posts is hell, though, I wish I could write more efficiently!

Altaira - I'm a real spoiler hound, I read the book first as well! Thanks for not spoiling the outcome. I guess this is a good time to remind people NOT to include any **real** spoilers for Episode III while responding to this fanfic. Your cooperation is appreciated!

REBADAMS7 - Thanks for your prior and continuing support!

Calen2kk - Thanks for stopping by; hope you enjoy! I think somewhere GL said that stormtroopers are clones, but I'm not sure, since they have different heights and voices in the OT. Maybe some of them are clones left over. I actually have a post-Ep 3 story which will help answer this question, but it won't come out till summer, sorry!

KnightFall - Hee hee, thanks for the link! First rule for a fanfic author: promote, promote, promote! Seriously, I don't mind--after all, your terrific story is what launched my fanfic career!

george starwars - Good to see a familiar face! Hang on to your socks, it's going to be a bumpy ride!


All right, here is the first chapter, with the second part of it soon to come!

 

Part One ? Fall of the Jedi
Chapter 1


Against the infinite backdrop of outer space, the planet appeared impossibly small and fragile, a tiny grey circle set atop the omnipresent star-studded darkness. From a distance, nothing suggested it as being in any way deserving of the imminent havoc to be unleashed against it.

Nothing, except its identity: the separatist world of Sullust.

Eight million kilometers away from the planet, hundreds of Republic ships began to emerge from hyperspace. As the last of the vessels entered the system, the massive fleet maneuvered into attack formation: cruisers and dreadnaughts at the front, assault frigates and other escort craft positioned at the flanks, support ships in the rear. The fleet?s carriers took position in the interior of the fleet, as did the two dozen Acclamator assault ships which carried the landing force of twenty clone legions. Presently, waves of starfighters launched from the carriers, arcing out and sweeping ahead of the main fleet. Once assembled, the entire task force started to move with deliberate speed towards the planet.

At the geometric center of the force was a huge arrowhead-shaped vessel, its stark white hull a vivid contrast to the typical red and grey markings of Republic starships. On the bridge of the Victory, first of the new class of Star Destroyers and the command ship for the fleet, a large holographic projector showed the planet and its assorted defenses in abstract grids of light. Yellow diamonds, representing various orbital facilities, floated above the surface. A mass of red triangles symbolized the separatist fleet defending Sullust. On the display, they were spreading out into a defensive formation of their own.

Several fleet officers stood around the projection, charting the movements of both sides. One of them turned away and walked over to the chair at the center of the elevated portion of the bridge. Two black-clad naval troopers stood on both sides of the chair, guarding the Fleet Commander, whose own space-black uniform was garnished with golden weaves of sartorial splendor. He stroked his goatee as he analyzed the tactical situation.

?Report, Captain,? asked Fleet Commander Bail Organa.

?Their spacedocks are filled with transports and supply vessels. The enemy fleet consists entirely of Sullustan defense ships. No sign of the main separatist fleet.? Captain Ferrtein gave him a feral grin. ?We appear to have caught them by surprise.?

?Then luck is on our side, for a change,? Organa said dryly. He sorely hoped this was the case, for this attack was very much a desperate gamble. For months the war had been going badly for the Galactic Republic on this side of the galaxy, with the separatists pushing hard down the Rimma and Corellian Trade Routes. They were currently at the edge of the Inner Rim, and launching daily assaults at the Republic?s last line of defense in the Yag?dhul system. Unable to halt the enemy advance, Organa and his commanders had come up with a plan to launch a surprise attack deep in the rear of the enemy, destroying their key logistic areas in a lightning assault that would be over before the main enemy force based at Aeratrep could respond. Their careful efforts at deception and a long roundabout voyage in hyperspace had apparently achieved their first goal of surprise. Now it was up to the men and women he commanded to make use of it. ?Signal all ships,? he commanded.

The captain relayed the order to the bridge crew, sitting at their terminals all around the raised portion of the bridge. ?The fleet awaits your orders, sir,? Ferrtein informed him.

Organa stood up from his seat, walked over to the display and said, ?This is Fleet Command to all ships: commence the attack. May the Force be with us.?

A chorus of electronic acknowledgements flowed in as squadrons of Republic fighters accelerated ahead and made contact with the oncoming formations of enemy fighters. On the main tactical display innumerable blue and red pinpricks of light danced about, swerving

 

Chapter 1 (continued)


?Sir, the shield?s down on Target Delta!?

?Commence surface bombardment!?

High in orbit, out of range of the planet?s defenses, the battle crusiers began to fire hypervelocity bombardment rockets at the turbolaser and ion cannon emplacements in the center of the mesa. Without the deflector shield to protect them, they were quickly destroyed. The surviving assault frigates descended into low orbit and began raining destruction down on the remaining enemy positions.


* * * * *

Far above, Obi-Wan heard the distant roar of explosions as the fleet poured fire down on the defenses of the city atop the mesa. He sank as low as he could into the trench, hoping that the space jockeys above had good aim. Occasionally a rocket or turbolaser blast would go astray and hit the ground, but none fell close enough to harm him. Soon after the bombardment slackened and ceased. Wearily he rose up and patched in to the fleet sensor net to survey the damage. All across the flat top of the mountain, the land was blackened and blasted. Thick columns of smoke rose from the ground; zooming in, he could see charred and broken metal strewn about everywhere. With a heavy heart, he also counted many bodies of native Sullustans in the wreckage.

Costly as the assault had been, it was just the beginning. Obi-Wan dreaded the coming fight: block-to-block underground fighting was likely to be even more expensive. And we?ve only got twelve hours to do it, as well. But he had to carry out his orders. Activating his commlink, Obi-Wan said, ?Men of the 25th Clone Legion, well done. Regroup and prepare to advance on Target Delta.?

The surviving clonetroopers, officers and Jedi reformed and began advancing up the side of the mesa, bracing themselves for the coming attack.


* * * * *

Major Baroc of Fleet Intelligence came to Organa?s side. ?Sir, we?ve just received a disturbing report from Sector Command.?

?What is it??

?They just received a report from one of our covert surveillance teams. Apparently the separatist fleet departed Aeratrep twelve hours ago, destination unknown.?

Organa felt an icy chill roll down his back. ?An attack on Yag?dhul??

The major shook his head. ?They report no enemy activity.?

Organa stared out the windows into space. ?They?re coming. They?re coming here.?

?Sir, that?s not possible! How could they have known??

?I don?t know, but they?re coming?I know it! Blast, they?ll be here in less than three hours! Order our troops to return to the fleet immediately.?

?Yes, sir.?

?What?s the status of our attacks??

?Target Echo?s shields have not yet fallen, the attack there has stalled. Beta and Gamma have been destroyed, and we?re about to begin attacking the other four targets.?

Organa cursed silently. Unless all the facilities were destroyed, this entire operation would be a failure. He shrank from the alternative, but what choice did he have? The stakes were too high.

?Commander Uerot, order our bombers to attack the targets directly.?

There was a gasp from some of his aides. ?Sir,? Uerot said cautiously, ?the foundries are right atop the Sullustan cities. The chances are very good that we?ll??

?I know what they are,? Organa snapped. ?Send them a message to the Sullustan Council, giving them one hour to evacuate the target areas. Our orders are unambiguous: destroy the separatist facilities on Sullust at all cost.?

?Yes sir.?

Organa slumped back into his command chair, face in his hands.


* * * * *

?Hurry! We don?t have much time!?

Abandoning military protocol in the mad rush to evacuate the planet, the scramble back to the shuttles had all the appearance of a routed army fleeing in panic. Grieving, Obi-Wan knew he had to leave many of his fallen Jedi comrades behind, without benefit of even a hasty cremation.

He was the last to enter the shuttle. ?All clear, take off!? Immediately the ship?s engines roared to life. Lurching, it lifted up and headed into space.

Looking out the window, he watched as a flight of Y

 

Great descriptions. It is a rough battle they are engaging in. They are losing a lot of men but at least they are gaining some ground.

I can see Obi-Wan?s saber flyer when he leads the attack on the trenches. Fooled those droids and that was some massive explosion at the end.

very exciting.

 

So many sad decisions and losses. You displayed their desperate choices and conflicting personal battles convincingly. The battle did turn dark quickly.

Another good one Scruffy-Looking.

 

Great post, Scruffy! The battle scenes were vivid and very tragic.

I particularly like the way you confront the political/philosophical issues of the war -- the constant struggle for the Republic between trying to wage just war (such as it is) and the necessity of victory. Very well done. At least Organa has a conscience; we know Palpatine doesn't... (Guess it's a bit difficult to avoid betrayal when the Commander-in-Chief is the traitor... )

a Geonosian victory
LOL. The lengths we'll go to so we don't have to use real-world terms.

(And dude, seriously, where do you find the time?!?!? ).

 

?You accomplished the mission, sir,? Obi-Wan said neutrally.

?At what cost?? Organa whispered.

?A very high one,? Obi-Wan conceded. Especially for the Jedi. Yep. Just like ol' Palpy planned it! Evil, evil evil...

 

I can't type fast enought to tell you how well done this is so far!!
Bravo and chilling with the battle decriptions!
Reb

 

Glad to see people are enjoying the story!

Altaira - Thanks for your feedback--sorry for having to make you post twice! I must admit, I'm still getting my feel for writing battle and action scenes, so I hope for you and everyone else it went ok. Please feel free to suggest any improvements I can make!

Darth Lex - Wow, thanks! LOL, I know, my posts can be really long at times. The hard part for me is starting--once I get the first paragraph or two, the rest of a chapter goes pretty quickly, no matter how long. I can 'churn' out pages with the best of them!

george starwars - Hmm, maybe he did, maybe he didn't...

REBADAMS7 - Thank you so much for your warm reply!


Here comes the next chapter. Enjoy!

 

Chapter 2


The starfighter flying alongside him suddenly blew up, flaming wreckage bouncing off his shields. Undaunted, Anakin Skywalker continued to fly straight ahead.

?Just a little longer?? Exploiting his Jedi reflexes to the fullest, he continued subtly swerving and dodging fire from the Techno Union light cruiser. At the very last second, he fired two proton torpedoes, giving the ship no time to jam it or shoot it down. Pulling up, his fighter barely managed to escape the ripple of explosions as the ship?s port bridge deflector shields fell.

Anakin let out a fierce war cry as another flight of ships tore into the ship?s undefended bridge. Fires and explosions wracked the vessel as it spun away, out of control.

Activating his comlink, he said excitedly, ?The path to the enemy carrier is clear! All fighters, form up and prepare to engage!? The remaining fighters and strike craft began to maneuver into an attack formation, then accelerated to attack speed, heading for the now-exposed carrier.

Suddenly an emergency alarm sounded from the intercom. ?All squadrons, this is Silver Leader, fall back to the planet! Enemy ships now approaching the system!?

Anakin swore and looked at his tactical display. A flight of Banking Clan heavy raiders, escorted by the Trade Federation carrier?s drone fighters, was bearing in for the violet-colored world of Bimmisaari. Their own carrier and six light escort vessels stood between them. Echo and Blue Squadrons were already beginning to break off and turn around. Deciding quickly, he flipped on his communicator. ?Silver Leader, request permission to launch an attack against the enemy carrier.?

?Ghost Leader, request denied. Return to base immediately, over.?

He clenched his teeth. ?Sir, if we knock out the carrier, those ships won?t have any fighter cover. They?ll be forced to withdraw.?

?Ghost Leader, you are disobeying a direct order from your superior officer. Return immediately or??

Waving his hand, he cut the circuit. ?Ghost Squadron, this is our only chance to stop the enemy,? he said rapidly. ?I take responsibility for whatever happens, but we have to stop that carrier now!?

Silver Leader, the commander of the carrier?s starfighter squadrons, was a respected combat leader, but he had earned the trust of Ghost Squadron?s battle-hardened men in combat time and time again. Without hesitation they acknowledged his command and formed up behind him.

?Excellent! All ships, full speed ahead! Execute disperse and disruption scatter-attack pattern.? Upon reaching the carrier, the other fighters of Ghost Squadron flew at high speed all around the carrier, dodging defensive fire and the carrier?s drone defenders.

Anakin circled about, searching for weaknesses, suddenly unsure of what to do. They didn?t have enough striking power to knock the carrier without Blue Squadron?s heavy strike craft. The only course of action left was to try and knock out the carrier?s antenna array, but it was heavily shielded and as a result of repeated combat experience, the Trade Federation had moved the control antennas on their ships from the outer rim to the interior, where they were less exposed. He was rapidly running out of time.

?Ghost Leader, this is Ghost Seven, request orders.?

Thinking on his feet, he came up with an idea. ?All ships, scatter out then converge and fire all your weapons at the following coordinates on my mark.? He punched his keypad rapidly.

?Ready, Ghost Leader,? came the acknowledgement from his men.

?Execute? Now!?

Immediately the eighteen other ships of Ghost Squadron flew away from the carrier. After ten seconds of flight, the ships circled around and began approaching the carrier at high speed. Anakin had done so as well, but as the other ships began their run, he deliberately flared out his starboard engine and put his ship on a vector parallel to that of the rest of his squadron. To the enemy, it would appear he was aborting his run. Almost there? almost there?

?On my mark? Fire!?

As one his fighters

 

Well, it seems like this one success is simply going to inflate Anakin's already gigantic ego....

Excellent job with the battle scenes, Scruffy. The action really comes to life.

Looking forward to more!

~*Senoj*~

 

Anakin saved the day. Being a maverick and succeeding is great... but when you lose you lose big time. He is still a marvel!

Loved it completely!!!

 

Oh this fall is going to HURT really bad...
Bien fait!
Reb

 

Augh! Anakin. Out of control. Time to Dark Side. Becoming an issue. Oh, well. HE did good anyway!

 

Very intriguing post -- Anakin already has a lot more anger, which makes him feel more unlike the other Jedi. A growing vulnerability to be exploited...

The way this post fits with the last is great: from the big picture (Organa/war) to the small (Skywalker/battle). They make the same decision (fight to win) -- yet Bail has regret and doubts, while Anakin has only anger and arrogance. I think this is a crucial step for his character to make: to get from "I'm a Jedi, I know I'm better than this"* to the remorseless Vader of ANH and ESB. And we get a glimpse of that gradual transformation here. Well done.

Looking forward to more.


* How in #@$*&@#$ did GL not include that line in the theatrical release?

 

Good last 2 posts, Scruffy! I usually don't like to read battle stuff, but I enjoyed this! Keep it up!