Before - Legends Reverie of Darkness - KotOR 2 Atton/Disciple fight fic.

Title: Reverie of Darkness
Author: SabyneAmberle
Timeframe: KotOR, pre-TPM
Characters: Atton Rand, Mical (Disciple)
Genre: Angst, Drama
Summary: Atton acts upon his jealousy regarding Mical's relationship with exile Kabrina Gamon. But what are the consequences of such action?
Notes: May be minor spoilers for KotOR 2, mostly regarding interactions in-game between Atton & Mical. Much of the early dialogue used was dialogue cut from the final game.

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He was getting closer.

Narrowing his eyes darkly, Atton waited in the shadows of the room for his prey. Around him, he could sense the evil of Malachor, pulsing like a dying star, its very darkness feeding that of the Trayus Academy. And Trayus' darkness, in turn, fed his own. He felt it flow into him through every pore, through every particle of air he inhaled, and as it did, it mixed and congealed in his veins like a mixture of poison and ice, until nothing remained of the façade he had worn since his last days on this planet.

The old crone was right. She cared nothing for him, had tossed him aside as casually as one might toss aside an empty flask of Juma Juice. Sure, she had looked upon him favorably through their early travels together, and he could almost swear she was beginning to fall for him. Then he came along, worshipping the very ground she stood on, spending every possible moment at her side in case she 'needed his advice', meditating with her whenever they shared a quiet moment on the ship...

He gritted his teeth, spitting at the ground before him as if his thoughts tasted as foul as they felt. She had chosen a naïve boy with a hero-worship complex over him, and now he would pay for his interference. He had felt possessive of the Exile, felt protective of Kabrina, ever since their first meeting on Peragus. She was his, damn it all, and he would be damned if he allowed some inexperienced 'Jedi' to take her from him.

Hearing footsteps, Atton retreated further into the shadows, watching through narrowed eyes as his intended target entered the room. The little fool would likely not be able to sense him here, not where the strong dark side aura would easily hide him. Hearing the steps pause a short distance ahead of his location, he stepped out of the gloom. He was sure his sudden appearance would likely startle his opponent, but he was long past caring at that point.

'Hey, kid.' He kept his tone casual, almost sounding the same as he did during their mission. He always had been good at hiding his motives, his feelings. This guy didn't have a chance in hell of seeing his true emotions.

His prey --he hated to call him Mical, hated to use his opponent's given name when he was about to eliminate him- briefly seemed startled, but quickly regained his composure, his expression showing signs of relief. 'Atton...' he said as his eyes registered recognition of his crewmate. 'The Exile, where is she?'

Of course you would ask, though she's really not your concern. He felt his hatred of the Jedi before him begin to gnaw at his control. To cover it, he merely shrugged. 'She's safe,' he said simply. 'You don't need to worry about her.'

He smirked inwardly in satisfaction as he read the confusion suffusing the face of his rival. The guy clearly had a lot to learn about hiding his emotions, a lesson he would not live to learn. 'I...I don't understand, Atton. Where is the Exile? Where is Kabrina?' he asked more insistently.

Atton allowed his smirk to become visible. 'Why do you care?' he asked mockingly. 'You never did, really.'

'What are you talking about? Of course...'

'You know how long it's been since I killed a Jedi?' Atton advanced on his opponent ominously, enjoying the fear he could sense from the other. 'You get a taste for it, you know. I killed a bunch here on Malachor, while the planet was dying.' His tone was flat, emotionless, but he could feel his hatred, knew its presence was so thick around them that the kid would likely gag on it if it had a physical form.
'Killing a half-Jedi like you should hold me over until the next one comes along. They always do, you know.'

He could see the kid struggling to hide his emotions. Shock, fear, uncertainty, they all played over his features as he struggled to make sense of it all. It was difficult to say what he was thinking. Maybe he hoped to reason with his former crewmate. Not that it would work.

'Atton, Kreia is using y...' he began to say as Atton cut him off sharply.

'Really? I had no idea. Everyone uses each other, kid. And if she's using me to kill you, as I see it, I really don't lose anything. I already lost what mattered to me.' He could see the confusion on his opponent's face. It lent him an almost childlike appearance, made Atton hesitate briefly as he considered letting him go.

He turned away abruptly. There was no frelling way he would allow this...kid to take from him what was rightfully his. 'I wanted to protect her, to help her, and then you show up, playing hero. Fine.' He spat the words out as though they were poison to him. Kabrina, the Exile, was his, damn it! No one else's.

It seemed Mical was still attempting to placate him, damn lot of good it would do. 'Atton, the feelings between the Exile and I...'

Atton waved his hand in disgust. 'Doesn't matter, not anymore. I had forgotten how much I hate Jedi. And the less of you that are in the galaxy, the better.' He reached a hand to the lightsaber on his belt, gripping it so tightly he thought it might crack under the strain.

Turning back to his foe, he ignited it. No longer did it hold the yellow crystal of a Sentinel. No, he had changed it on Dxun, when she had taken Mical to Iziz and left him behind. Now, it was crimson. A fitting color for the man who had reveled in killing Jedi. 'Ready to die, kid?' he asked almost mockingly.

Mical held his hands at his sides, fists clenched. 'I won't fight you, Atton,' he declared.

'Typical...' he muttered in response. 'I don't care. I just want you to die.'

Charging at his opponent, he swung his lightsaber in a wide arc, letting out an enraged howl. The kid was quick, Atton had to admit. He deflected the saber with a hastily drawn one of his own before knocking him back a few feet with a bout of Force Push.

Atton recovered quickly, circling his target for a moment before attacking again. This time, his attacks were fiercer, more vehement. Mical was reduced to little more than parrying and defending against his foe's onslaught. At one point, his attack slipped through his opponent's defenses, opening a long, shallow wound in his shoulder. The sight of the hit, along with the kid's expression of pain, only further excited his fury.

Seconds blurred into moments, which in turn blurred into minutes. The two combatants fought on, neither giving up until the other was down. Atton pressed on, the rage and fury coursing through him, feeding his attacks. Mical struggled to match the strength and brutality of the attacks levied against him.

In the end, it was just too much.

He hesitated briefly upon parrying another attack, which left an opening for Atton to stun him with a well-placed kick to the midsection. He watched his prey land on his back, his lightsaber clattering as it fell out of reach. He could hear his opponent struggling to catch his breath, could feel him start to regain his senses. He figured it was a good time to end this.

Standing over Mical, his rival, his enemy, Atton pointed the blade of his lightsaber at his chest. 'Ready to die now?' he asked, a smirk showing on his face as he took in the kid's defiant glare.

'If...if you kill me, you'll kill any chance of having her,' Mical retorted, bringing an angry rush of blood to Atton's face.

'You really think so, huh?' he sneered. 'Well, we'll see...'

The sound of footsteps approaching, along with a familiar female voice, caused Atton to turn.

'Atton? You're alive?'

'Kabrina?' his tone was incredulous. 'You survived...how?' he asked.

As she drew closer, he saw her hair was a mess and her Jal Shey armor bloodstained. Apparently whatever had gotten in her way had learned the hard way not to cross her. As she approached, he could see the happy expression on her face at seeing him alive. Before his eyes, however, he watched the happiness fade as she took in the scene before her.

'Atton...what's going on?' she asked almost hesitantly.

Atton shrugged, a gesture he tried to make casual. 'Oh, this?' he asked, keeping his voice calm. 'We...we were having a disagreement. I just had to teach the kid here a few manners...'

Behind him, he could hear Mical struggle to sit up. 'Ka...Kabrina, don't listen to him,' he said hoarsely. 'He...he wanted to kill me...'

'Kill you?' To Atton's shock, the Exile sidestepped him, kneeling next to the Disciple to examine his wounds. 'Why?'

He heard the kid cough. 'He...thought I was taking you from him.'

'Taking me...' Kabrina looked up at him, the expression on her face painful to see. 'Atton, is this true?' she asked, seeming to wish it wasn't.

He nodded. 'Yeah, so it is,' he responded sourly. 'I'm much better for you than that weakly pathetic half-Jedi. Tell me, why do you bother with him, anyway, Kabrina?'

Her expression darkened. 'Because, unlike you, Atton, he treats me as though I'm a real person with feelings and thoughts of my own,' she spat back. 'You treat me as though I were a pleasure girl for you, only here to satisfy your needs, your lusts. My thoughts, my feelings...they don't matter to you unless it's convenient for them to.'

Standing, she gently supported Mical, her gaze never leaving Atton. 'You know, from the beginning, I thought Kreia was wrong about you,' she said flatly. 'Every time she called you a fool, I always disagreed with her. Now I see she was correct. You're not only a fool, you're an insane, jealous fool, one that I have no place for in my life.' Turning from him, she walked with Mical to the entrance to Trayus Academy, her pace slow to allow the other to keep up.

Rage anew flooded Atton. It wasn't only his imagination now, he now knew for a fact that he had lost. She had chosen to defend the boy over allowing him, the man, to dispatch him. The failure was hers for her choice, not his for forcing her to make it. It was a choice he would never forgive her for.

Charging at the pair, he reignited his weapon, intending to cut down his foe at his weakest. As he watched, things seemed to happen in slow-motion. Kabrina, sensing his approach, turned quickly to see him coming. As she saw him raise his weapon for the fatal strike, she shoved Mical out of the path of the weapon, but could not move quickly enough to save herself. He saw the broken patch in the armor that covered her back, saw his blade slip neatly into the rent in the material. He heard her cry of pain as his blade impaled itself in her back, watched her slump forward to the floor.

Shock enveloped him as he deactivated his lightsaber, tossing it aside as he knelt beside her. Frack, he hated her choice, but he hadn't intended his attack to strike her. Gently, he took her into his arms, closing his eyes as he struggled to heal her.

Her eyes fluttered, their deep blue-green irises showing her pain. As she spoke, a trickle of blood trailed from the corner of her mouth. 'I...I'm sorry,' she whispered. 'I...wanted to take you with me. To...to face Kreia...together.'

He let out an anguished sob. 'Why?' he asked. 'Why did you defend him?'

Her smile was weak. 'I...I am a Jedi,' she said softly, her voice almost inaudible. 'I could not stand by and let you kill...' She coughed weakly, blood flecking her lips as she did.

He tried to heal her, tried to replenish the life that was slipping from her. Yet it was in vain, as he felt her body grow limper with each passing moment.

'Kabrina,' he said in desperation. 'What should I do?'

Weakly, she touched his cheek. 'Return...' she whispered. 'Return to the Jedi. Be healed by their wisdom.' A tear slipped from her eye, streaking her face as it fell.

Atton shook his head in disbelief. He wouldn't allow her to die, couldn't allow it. But he was powerless to stop himself from losing her.

She smiled again, a sweet gesture that brought more tears to his eyes. 'I...I love you,' she whispered. Her eyelids fluttered, then finally closed, her head falling back to dangle from his grasp. Her chest rose with one final breath, then stilled for good.

As he lowered her to the ground, his tears flowed unabated. 'Kabrina...please...' he pleaded with her still form. 'Come back...' Bowing his head to rest on the breastplate of her armor, he wept for her. He had never cried for anyone he had killed, yet she was different.

**********

'Atton? Atton?' A voice echoed in his thoughts as Atton slowly came to. He saw he was asleep in the barracks onboard the Ebon Hawk, with Mical staring down at him.

'Atton, are you all right?' Mical asked. 'You've been tossing and turning for a few hours now. Are you ill? Can I help?'

Atton sat up, rubbing his face with his hands. It had been a dream. A horrible, terrifying dream. He looked at the kid as he stood expectantly. 'Yeah,' he finally said. 'You can hold still...'

Mical didn't even have time to say a word as Atton grabbed him by his shirt collar, socking him across the face with enough force to knock him into the bed across the room. He fell back onto the bed before quickly sitting up, his expression confused. 'What was that for?' he asked indignantly.

'For giving me nightmares,' Atton replied. Seeing the kid's confusion, he left before he was bombarded with any more questions. Walking into the ship's main hold, he saw Kabrina asleep in one of the chairs, her expression serene as she dreamed. Smiling to himself, Atton removed his jacket, bending over her to place it across her shoulders.

'Thanks,' he said softly to her as he did. 'For teaching me not to make a fool of myself. Even if it was just a dream.' Caressing her silky hair as it cascaded across her cheek, he stood back up.

Feeling tears start to dot his cheeks, he brushed them away as he walked to the cockpit, setting the coordinates for Dxun. Maybe that confrontation would occur once they reached the end of their journey, he didn't know. But if it did, he hoped he wouldn't allow himself to be so easily swayed by his emotions as he was in that dream.

 

wow that was very powerful work! i remember when you mentioned this idea in the old index! i knew it would turn out to be great but i'm still suprised HOW great it turned out to be!
you remind me how much potential atton has as a character! potential fully realized in this wonderful fic!


edit-bah i can't spell!

 

This is outside my usual genre, but that's never stopped me from reading some great stuff before! VERY nicely done! I can't write action to save my life, so I always admire that talent in other writers. You've got it, no doubt about it!