Beyond REVOLUTION (NJO: Anakin Solo, Kyp Durron, Alema Rar, Others) Completed 9/24/03!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by YodaKenobi, Aug 19, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. FamousAmos VIP

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 6
    Alright, we'll compramise...... you can play Neget 1

    While we're comprimising, I think I'd make a pretty good Kyp, too. ;)

    If my cat "yoda" directed it, it would be better than Gigli though I never saw that movie, so I guess I shouldn't make fun of it.

    I don't know about that, but I think if you let JOD direct, it could be the next hollywood blockbuster. I mean if Britney SPears, M&M and Mandy Moor can do it, so can you. [face_shocked] :cool:
  2. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    While we're comprimising, I think I'd make a pretty good Kyp, too.

    Yeah, me too ;)

    I don't know about that, but I think if you let JOD direct, it could be the next hollywood blockbuster. I mean if Britney SPears, M&M and Mandy Moor can do it, so can you.

    [face_laugh] so true!

    Alright, so this project seems to be taking off :p I've already got amos and JOD involved :D :cool:
  3. _Jedi_of_Destiny_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 17, 2003
    star 4
    Weren't you trying to make a fan film, JOD? Maybe you should direct it, because I know nothing!

    I have no idea what I'm doing either! :p But I want to act. Hmmn. WHo could I play?
  4. FamousAmos VIP

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 6
    Lets see, split personalities, talks a lot.... if you didn't wear any shoes and have long curly blonde hair you'd be a perfect Tahiri 8-}

    Yeah, me too

    Then it's settled: I will play Kyp :) 8-}

    so true!

    Yeah, hollywood has really gone downhill :(

    Alright, so this project seems to be taking off :p I've already got amos and JOD involved

    At this rate, we'll be millionaire film producers/directors/actors/lazy bums in no time :cool:

  5. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    I have no idea what I'm doing either! But I want to act. Hmmn. WHo could I play?

    That's too bad :p The only human female character in the story is Strift, but if you like blue paint and dark side lightning, you can play Alema ;)


    Then it's settled: I will play Kyp

    no, when I said "me too" I meant "so could I" :p

    At this rate, we'll be millionaire film producers/directors/actors/lazy bums in no time

    *rolls around in pile of imaginary cash* :D
  6. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    well, I'm almost finished with the second fic, so I may as well bump the original now ;)
  7. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    the Eighth Cortex ends today, so I'll just give this a bump again so everyone can see the beginning of the story :p Links are in my sig ;) :cool:
  8. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
  9. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
  10. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Might as well bump this one too ;) and add a link to the final story: The Living Force :D
  11. Grand Admiral Wettengel Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jan 10, 2000
    star 4
  12. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Thanks, Grand Admiral Wettengel :) I'm glad you enjoyed it.
  13. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
  14. Taeriel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    I just came across this story last night. On the bright side, this meant I got to read it all at once. :) Very good story! I really, really enjoyed reading it. Great characterization, great storyline, great writing. Now... onto the sequel! :D
  15. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    I just came across this story last night. On the bright side, this meant I got to read it all at once. Very good story! I really, really enjoyed reading it. Great characterization, great storyline, great writing. Now... onto the sequel!

    Wow, you read it all in one night :eek: impressive! thanks Taeriel :) I'm glad you enjoyed it, and hope you like the next one. Thanks for reading :D
  16. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Haven't seen this up for awhile.
  17. General_Karrde Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 2004
    star 2
    Haven't seen this up for awhile.

    Hmm.... I wonder why? :p

    This is just my way of leaving my mark and saying that I have indeed read it. :p

    :The Greatest General of All:
  18. Tahiri-Solo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 2001
    star 4
    an up!!! everyone must read this fic once!!!
  19. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
  20. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Hey everyone! Just trying to keep this from getting locked :p

    Is anyone interested in being a beta reader for this so I can have it archieved? [face_batting]

    Also, is there any talented and more tech savvy than me, who would be interested in creating cover art for any of these fics? I'd do it myself, but I'm sure it would look terrible.

    I'm also still looking for a name for the series if anyone has any ideas, because I don't :p
  21. Maggy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 2, 2004
    star 4
    Master Yobi:

    okay, I wasted my time further with writing a review to this :p

    Chapter 1:

    Nice idea of letting the Jedi appear to be the bad guys (but that probably depends on the POV)

    That the Jedi shall have shaped him into his human appearance and not the other way around ... great :D

    It must have been not easy to become a member of a society which prefers tattoos and scared faces and skin when yours is smooth and unmarked... but then he isn?t quite a part of it [face_thinking]

    The Vong or rather the shaper succeeded where Mazhan Kwaad failed ... her adept ... only she would dare such thing again [face_thinking] mhh...

    It will be interesting to see how Riina and Yuusung interact or in case Riina/Kin, Tahiri/Yuusung or Tahiri/Kin [face_mischief] :p



    Chapter 2:

    Kyp [face_love] :p

    Dif Scaur and not being the biggest friend of Kyp o_O who is? :p

    Wrev Caster: Sporky once told me not to search for him in the books since he is an OC :p

    *scribbles, scribbles, notes, notes*
    *thinks*
    interesting how you introduce your OC [face_thinking]

    `There was no one else on board´ ... :eek: a Vong? Vergere? ... [face_thinking] She dies in the last FH book so it would be possible mhhh... [face_thinking] Furthermore she is able to hide herself in the force...

    o_O there are four soldiers um.. and six more ... on the ship too

    A shamed one [face_thinking] mhhh...



    Chapter 3:

    Nen Yim o_O [face_thinking] Interesting ...

    It made no sense, unless, they were keeping Nen Yim away. Perhaps she was a prisoner.
    [face_thinking] Afraid that he could remember and attack Nen Yim like he did Mezhan Kwaad?

    Yuusung Saa came back to the gods in his own

    o_O [face_thinking] [face_mischief]

    cool description of the memories
    Voxyn :eek:
    Chewie! :_|
    Tahiri [face_dancing] :D

    He must have failed

    awww...



    Chapter 4:

    Can he tell that I?m no longer paying attention?

    [face_laugh]

    ...
    The priests are surely calculating who of them will be the next high priest [face_mischief] ;)

    It is really ironical that they have chosen Kin ... on second thought .. a good tactic. How can someone not be defeated when on of them can be turned against them ... even a reason for the heretics to get united with the worriers to fight against the infidels.

    ...

    Shimrras explanations... yes :D :p

    so Kin is still feared by them nice to see ;) :D

    Jaken and doubts [face_thinking] o_O



    Chapter 5:

    Kyp and Corran getting along? :eek: What the heck happened there? :p

    Kyp in charge was a good choice ... shall he see how it is like to be responsible for decisions ;)

    May I assume Kyp doesn?t `like´ Scaur? :p

    GFI = Galactic Federation Intelligent :confused:

    Wrev is a cool character :D

    Great fight in the end and some explanations in this chapter :p


    more laters :D
    and I still don?t think I waste my time [face_whistling] :p


    ~Mags~

  22. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Maggy: okay, I wasted my time further with writing a review to this

    Why thank you :p

    Chapter 1:
    Nice idea of letting the Jedi appear to be the bad guys (but that probably depends on the POV)


    Yeah, I don't think I made the Jedi appear as bad guys, just that they are bad from a Yuuzhan Vong's POV ;)

    That the Jedi shall have shaped him into his human appearance and not the other way around ... great

    Yes, it's good for Anakin :D ;p

    It must have been not easy to become a member of a society which prefers tattoos and scared faces and skin when yours is smooth and unmarked... but then he isn?t quite a part of it

    Yes, he feels like an ugly outsider :(

    The Vong or rather the shaper succeeded where Mazhan Kwaad failed ... her adept ... only she would dare such thing again mhh...

    Yup, Nen Yim :D

    It will be interesting to see how Riina and Yuusung interact or in case Riina/Kin, Tahiri/Yuusung or Tahiri/Kin

    You might be very disappointed :p



    Kyp

    :D

    Dif Scaur and not being the biggest friend of Kyp who is?

    Dif Scaur's a jerk :p

    Wrev Caster: Sporky once told me not to search for him in the books since he is an OC

    Yes, an OC. I told you Sporky has to say things like that ;)

    *scribbles, scribbles, notes, notes*
    *thinks*
    interesting how you introduce your OC


    Yeah, I liked it at the time :p

    `There was no one else on board´ ... a Vong? Vergere? ... She dies in the last FH book so it would be possible mhhh... Furthermore she is able to hide herself in the force...

    Just a Vong ;)

    there are four soldiers um.. and six more ... on the ship too

    No, the soldiers were on the shuttle that brought them down, not the same ship Kyp felt in the Force which was just a starfighter.

    A shamed one mhhh...

    Yup ;)


    Afraid that he could remember and attack Nen Yim like he did Mezhan Kwaad?

    No, different reason ;)

    cool description of the memories
    Voxyn
    Chewie!
    Tahiri


    :D

    The priests are surely calculating who of them will be the next high priest

    Yes, they are a treacherous bunch :D

    It is really ironical that they have chosen Kin ... on second thought .. a good tactic. How can someone not be defeated when on of them can be turned against them ... even a reason for the heretics to get united with the worriers to fight against the infidels.

    Yes, Shimrra wants to use Anakin to lure the Jedi into a trap at his point.

    Shimrras explanations... yes
    so Kin is still feared by them nice to see


    Some of them ;)

    Jaken and doubts

    It appears so ;)

    Kyp and Corran getting along? What the heck happened there?

    Jedi mind-trick? :p

    Kyp in charge was a good choice ... shall he see how it is like to be responsible for decisions

    Yes, I liked Luke leaving things to him as well, as sort of an honor and also "now you'll see what I have to put up with" :p

    May I assume Kyp doesn?t `like´ Scaur?

    You can probably assume that no one likes him :p

    GFI = Galactic Federation Intelligent

    Yup :D

    Wrev is a cool character

    Thanks, I'll tell him you said so :D

    Great fight in the end and some explanations in this chapter

    Thank you :)


    more laters
    and I still don?t think I waste my time


    I'm glad ;) at least I've managed to trick you into thinking you aren't wasting your summer :p

    Thanks again for the review, Mags :) [:D]
  23. Maggy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 2, 2004
    star 4

    Yobi:

    Why thank you :p

    :p :D [:D]

    Yeah, I don't think I made the Jedi appear as bad guys, just that they are bad from a Yuuzhan Vong's POV ;)

    :p :D

    Yes, he feels like an ugly outsider :(

    yeah, poor kid :(

    You might be very disappointed :p

    *runs off, leaving the review unfinished* :p


    Kidding ;) :D :p


    So I might be disappointed? How so? Will they not met at some point? :confused:


    And don?t you dare to answer this :p



    ? :D ?

    :p

    Dif Scaur's a jerk :p

    hehe :D :p

    Yes, an OC. I told you Sporky has to say things like that ;)

    Yes, yes, you told me and I told you she has to tell me all the good things on the boards for being my Padawan, Master and co-conspirator :p ;) :D

    Yeah, I liked it at the time :p

    Now you don?t anymore?

    No, the soldiers were on the shuttle that brought them down, not the same ship Kyp felt in the Force which was just a starfighter.

    yeah, I figured afterwards :p

    A shamed one mhhh...

    Yup

    Yes, they are a treacherous bunch :D

    hehe

    Yes, Shimrra wants to use Anakin to lure the Jedi into a trap at his point.

    at this point? What has he in mind :p

    Jedi mind-trick? :p

    :p but who tricked whom? (right use of who and whom? :p :confused: *lookes dumbfounded like Han in I, Jaina Solo does*)

    Kyp in charge was a good choice ... shall he see how it is like to be responsible for decisions

    Yes, I liked Luke leaving things to him as well, as sort of an honor and also "now you'll see what I have to put up with" :p

    hehe

    Thanks, I'll tell him you said so :D

    good, do just that :p

    I'm glad ;) at least I've managed to trick you into thinking you aren't wasting your summer :p

    Teehee :p :D
    8-} you are using Jedi Mind tricks? :p :confused:

    Thanks again for the review, Mags :) [:D]

    you are welcome, Yobi [:D]

    and because it is so much fun, more of it :D :p



    Chapter 6

    His current opponent was a very strong sixteen-year-old, who had beaten Yuusung Saa on two occasions. While Yuusung Saa was not undefeated, he was the reigning champion of these duels.

    cool, that teaches those Vongies a lesson :p
    that must really bug them, an infidel :D

    The warrior regained his footing and made a wide cut towards Yuusung Saa's left thigh. It was blocked easily, but the warrior?s next move caught him by surprise. His amphistaff went from staff to whip form and slashed at Yuusung Saa's opposite leg. The teeth made contact but were batted away before it could break the skin. Falling forward, the warrior sent a stiff punch to Yuusung Saa's jaw forcing him backward. He took the punch in stride and let the momentum take him into a spin, bringing his staff around with all his strength, making the air screamed from the sheer force of the swing.

    [face_devil] :D
    like how you write this

    "Why have you interrupted my training?" Yuusung Saa chided.

    he must be angry

    Yuusung Saa was not as anxious to participate in the shaper's testing as he had been last time. The dream he had did awaken some memories. Infidel memories. He didn't want them corrupting him again, knowing they were lies. The infidels had shaped him, changed his memories and made him live among them for many years. He didn't want these thoughts.

    awwww... what have they done to him ... grrr!

    Anakin Solo was holding the light blade, not Yuusung Saa. Not me, him.

    where is the difference? :p

    Why didn't he want Yuusung Saa to know who was coming? "Then answer this," Yuusung Saa started, "You said he had far to travel, where is he coming from."
    Cuusii Aruh looked as if he wanted to run away. This line of questioning seemed to bother him more than the ?who??. Before he could side step the question again; Yuusung Saa fired another o
  24. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Maggy: So I might be disappointed? How so? Will they not met at some point?

    Well, I don't want to ruin it...

    And don?t you dare to answer this

    :p

    Now you don?t anymore?

    I don't know [face_thinking]

    at this point? What has he in mind

    Shimrra wants to use Anakin to lure the Jedi into a trap...

    but who tricked whom? (right use of who and whom? *lookes dumbfounded like Han in I, Jaina Solo does*)

    [face_laugh]


    cool, that teaches those Vongies a lesson
    that must really bug them, an infidel


    Yes, probably :D

    like how you write this

    Thanks :)

    awwww... what have they done to him ... grrr!

    [face_mischief]

    haha
    he is seeking answers
    he starts to questioning them


    Yup :D

    he has already done that, once

    He remembers it, he just doesn't think it's real ;)

    that is nearly as admitting that he isn?t a YV

    More that he's a Shamed One.

    I actually ask me when Shimrra has this foreseeing. It?s like he wants to reach a goal and voila he has a vision of the gods

    It does seem that way, doesn't it ;)

    Something is wrong with this Wrev Caster
    he is up to something...


    Not Wrev... [face_whistling]

    not only he, not only he

    :p

    she let it happen that he put an infidel advice under her skin?
    she really has wanted to help him then


    Yup :) She trusted him.

    the Force has him again

    Uh-huh :D

    cool description of the returning feelings and awareness

    Thanks :)

    he just got those special powers returned

    He doesn't know that ;)

    cool
    former Coruscant


    :)

    is out there?

    You'll see ;)

    o-oh! Anger is of the dark side
    stupid Vong


    [face_devil]


    [face_devil <- Master Yobi

    That's very true ;)

    good boy
    he starts to think


    He catches on pretty quick :p

    but in the wrong direction

    Unforturnately :p

    Think Kin how can this be shaping then, when it is instinct!?!

    [face_mischief]

    have known it

    Yes, but he didn't :p

    Kyp

    [face_devil]

    wow! The fighting was greatly written
    when I ever need help I know now a second one to ask


    Thanks, Maggy :) I'm glad you liked it.

    And thanks for reading and the long review again :D
  25. Maggy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 2, 2004
    star 4
    Yobi:

    Shimrra wants to use Anakin to lure the Jedi into a trap...

    :p

    ? [face_laugh] ?

    glad to entertain you :p

    Not Wrev... [face_whistling]

    :p

    That's very true ;)

    I know :p

    Thanks, Maggy :) I'm glad you liked it.

    :D

    And thanks for reading and the long review again :D

    you are welcome :D



    Chapter 10

    ...Then, he was gone.

    great summery what had happened *sniffs*



    And a small creature appeared. Feathery, with reverse articulated legs, the creatures menacing smile was adorned with whiskers. Was her smile one of joy or malice? Then, there was a loud humming noise.

    teehee ... spacechicken Vergere



    The revelation that this planet had once been the infidel Anakin's home planet of Coruscant had occupied his thoughts for most of the previous day. He was ashamed to admit that it filled him with a strange sense of sadness and longing. He knew that these feelings were only symptoms of the infidel lies planted in his brain and not any real remorse over the loss of his childhood home.

    awwww.... poor Kin



    To his amazement he realized that he had been steadily traveling west, towards the mysterious humming.

    this humming... the former Jedi Temple?



    cool banter between Hul Choka and Kin :D
    and the bulding he seeks... the Senatehall where Ganner died?



    It was a lightsaber. His... Anakin's lightsaber.

    :eek:



    Chapter 11

    Corran Horn had spent enough time in bacta tanks to know what Kyp Durron was going through. He had also had more than his fair share of amphistaff wounds during the war with the Yuuzhan Vong, making him all the more sympathetic to Kyp's current situation.

    Teehee :D


    Corran was surprised how relieved he had felt when the droid had informed him that Kyp would recover. He had never gotten along much with the younger Jedi, had never really understood him-- Maybe even wanted to see bad things happen to him at times. But since Borleias, Kyp had seemed like a changed man, one who had gained a more mature perspective and was a seasoned fighter in this war. Still, Corran sometimes got the feeling that Kyp was desperately trying to make up for his past mistakes by saving the galaxy, anyway he could.

    aww... like how you describe how Corran sees Kyp :*

    According to Scaur, Wrev Caster had been "extremely displeased" to hear the news.

    hah! What has he done :p

    Corran had his doubts about Wrev... He glanced at the crono again; he really had to get going.

    o_O



    The former Rogue Squadron pilot realized he hadn't listened to a word Kenth Hamner had said yet and tried to quite his brain, focusing on the proceedings.

    hehe :p :D

    No one seemed to ask who had been selected which led Corran to believe they already knew. Had he been so busy that he'd missed news of this magnitude? ?Umm...May I ask who has been selected for this mission?? Corran asked.
    "Yes, Wrev Caster has accepted charge of the mission," Hamner announced, and Corran felt his stomach tie itself in knots.


    Corran seems not to like it much :p

    The discussion went on, but Corran found it hard to concentrate on the meeting. If Wrev was no longer loyal to the Jedi, at least two other Jedi Knights would be put in danger. He had to find a way to get on the mission. But how? He had made no progress in routing out the Yuuzhan Vong spy cells.

    tsktsk Corran :p

    Before he knew it the gathering was concluded and the Jedi were headed for the exits. He scanned the room, looking for someone he could trust. If he couldn't go, perhaps he could convince someone else.... But who?

    like how you write Corran ... a true CorSec :p :D ;) :D



    Chapter 12

    A Jedi had died here, a Jedi he had known, but he couldn't quite remember whom.

    [face_mischief]

    "The gods, perhaps?" Hul Choka offered.

    Hah!

    "Of course," Yuusung Saa said. He wanted to ask why discretion was so importan
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.