Saga Rewriting Star Wars (AU, First Draft, 42 Chapters, Updated 8/13/13)

At least Cecil's arm didn't get yanked off. Although an arrow through the body sounds painful. He better hope he doesn't end up in this AU's version of Cloud City.

 

Yes! We finally meet Ben/Go!

 

Jabari - Thank you for the 'like'

Jade_eyes - I would have to agree with your assessment of the situation.

Asajj_Kenobi - While I don't intent to EXACTLY do that level of damage to Cecil, I do have plans for this story going that far and beyond, but you'll just have to wait and see.

Venator88 - I aim to please.

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Chapter 8

Lucy helped Jim relocate his jaw while Master Go tended to the arrow that pierced Cecil's body. They all worried for Cecil's recovery, especially Jim. Now that his quest to find Master Go was complete, Cecil was the only way to communicate, to relate his experience with the glass shard and that woman. He had to know. He had to be told. He would know what to do, if only he could listen...

Once Cecil's condition stabilized, Master Go washed his hands and returned to the others, bearing a tray of sun-dried fruits. "Here, eat. And tell me, Lucy, why are you once again trespassing on Marauder land? Tempting fate?"

"Not on purpose, Master Go. Jim, here, is a slave my Uncle owns. He ran off in the middle of the night looking for you. Cecil and I tried to find him before the Marauders did. I guess I failed."

"Failed in your desire to pass unseen, perhaps, but succeeded in seeing yourself and your company survive the encounter. I would call this a win, child."

Lucy nodded and gnawed on a dried strip of something orange that tasted faintly of a mango seasoned with cloves. Jim was nervously manhandling the fruit offered to him, and Master Go noticed his anxiety.

"What troubles you, boy?"

Jim pursed his lips in a frown, he despised the idea of embarrassing himself with uttering only burbles without his tongue. Without Cecil to translate for him, what was he to do?

"The slavers cut out his tongue, Master Go. " Lucy explained between bites. "Cecil was teaching him this kind of whistling speak, but only Cecil understands it."

"That's inconvenient." Master Go shot a glance at the comatose patient lying on his bed. "Jim, I'm terribly sorry about what happened to you. I want to ask you a series of questions, I want you to look at me and nod your head yes or no in response. Can you do that?"

Jim nodded yes. He was excited to be communicating, but was doubtful that his message would come through.

"Is your name Jim?"

Jim nodded.

"Are you a slave of Lucy's Uncle?"

Jim hesitated at first, but ultimately nodded.

"Did you run away last night?"

Nod.

"Did you run away to find me?"

Nod.

"Do you have a message for me?"

Nod.

"Was this message from a male?"

Jim shook his head.

"Female." Master Go rubbed his beard thoughtfully. "What did she look like?"

This question was more of a means to focus himself into more yes or no questions, so he was surprised to see Jim intently staring and Lucy.

"Your message is from Lucy?" Master Go asked, incredulously, somehow knowing he wouldn't be going through this game of questions if it were that simple.

"No... but the woman who gave him the message looks a lot like me... no, exactly like me." Lucy explained.

"You know this? How?"

Lucy divulged her experiences with touching the scar on Jim's chest. She expounded upon the visions that invaded her mind and how they came to be there. "Is Cecil right? Do I have, what he called, a 'gift'?"

"That you do, child. That you do. What you've tapped into is but a small part of the talents that lie dormant in you. Were it not for this gift, I would be unable to sense when you are in danger and come to your aid."

"You have the gift, too? Are you one of the teachers Cecil spoke of?"

"I was, once." Master Go seemed to drift off in thought. "Years ago, I was once a Paladin of Fi. I served the Council of Rivers and trained Paladins and Clerics in the art of The Way."

"The Way?"

"The Way is how you were able to see the visions that were tied to Jim's scar. It is a frequency shared by all matter. Nothing can exist without it. It binds the universe together. Paladins and Clerics of Fi dedicate their lives to The Way to harmonize with this frequency. A Fi draws their power from being in harmony with The Way."

Lucy thought about what Master Go was telling her, "Can you use The Way to see the visions I saw?"

"Jim," Master Go turned to the boy. "May I see your scar."

Jim perked up, nodded, and lifted up his shirt. Master Go stared intently at the scar. "You were cut by Dynasty Soldier's Flying Star. Then the woman gave you a message, and hid something of great importance inside of you. Do you still have the item?"

Jim pulled the handkerchief-wrapped mirror shard out of his pocket. He tried to hand it to Master Go, but the old man just stared at it, intently, before waving it off. "I think it best if you hold on to it, Jim. If I touch it..."

"What will happen? What is it?" Asked Lucy.

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Originally posted on 5/16/13 at https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=109
For a sneek peak at Chapter 9, go to https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=110

 

I am glad Jim is communicating his message and that Master Go seems to understand and accept the details of it. Jim probably would've been relieved to relinquish the shard, I think. Looking forward to the next installment.

 

Translation: Cecil was teaching him the most irritating way to communicate.

Sorry, I hate whistling. One of my roommates whistles all the time! Now when he does it I scream, "Whistling!" because he doesn't realize he is doing it. The only thing more annoying is pen clicking. You know when a person clicks the top of a ballpoint pen to extend or retract the writing part of the pen. There is a person who would do that behind me in class. I just want to smack them!

Sorry for venting.

I am glad that Jim now found Master Go and maybe his physical abuse will lessen now. Nice update.

 

SHADOW_MASTER_W - Thank you for the Like.

Jabari - Thank you for the Like.

Jade_eyes - Here is the next installment.

Asajj_Kenobi - I'm sorry you have a bad experience with whistling. Just try to remember that you're only reading about whistling and not actually hearing it.

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Chapter 9

Go continued to regard the bauble suspiciously. Lucy repeated her question. "What is it?"

"It's a piece of the Mirror of Ages," Master Go began. "Long ago, Paladins of Fi created artifacts that were permanently tuned to The Way and could be used by anyone. The Mirror of Ages allowed the user to see any place in the world they so desired. It was broken. Now all it shows is the location of the shards until it is restored." Suddenly, Go became deathly serious. "Never unwrap that shard, Jim. The soldiers who attacked you, who gave you your scars, are searching for that shard. It must be taken across the sea to the Isle of Alder. There it can be destroyed and the Dynasty can never use it against us."

Jim nodded soberly and returned the shard to his pocket.

"Which reminds me, Lucy, your mother wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it." Go rummaged through an old chest and drew out a thin stone. It wasn't much to look at, so when Lucy handled it, it just felt like a cold bit of rock. "It was you mother's Way Stone. It is the weapon of a Cleric of Fi. The stone will take on the form of any matter you require of it." Lucy didn't see the metamorphosis, but when she looked again, the stone had taken the shape of a small dove.

Go looked at the stone dove and smiled. "You must learn how to follow The Way if you are to come with me to the Isle of Alder."

A light of hope shined inside of Lucy with the prospect of leaving her dead-end life as a slave-owning plantation farmer. She wanted this. Her heart desired adventure. But that light was rapidly extinguished by the tyrannical voice of conscience. "I don't know... I mean, Alder? That's so far away. The slaver's are near by. We can get Cecil's injury healed, and buy a couple of horses from them. Then you and Jim can go barter passage on a ship or something."

"I need your help, Lucy. Jim needs your help. I'm getting too old to do this alone."

"I've got work to do here. I can't leave. I wish I could help, but there's nothing I can do." Lucy spent more time convincing herself than trying to convince Go.

"You must do what you feel is right, of course." Go drifted back into his own thoughts. Lucy didn't feel very good about this.

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Originally posted on 5/18/13 at https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=109
For a sneek peak at Chapter 10, go to https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=115

 

Cool details about the stone that can transform and the mirror of Ages. Lucy's conflict: well written.

 

Wow! Just Wow!

 

Jabari - Thanks for the Like

Jade_eyes - Thank you for the compliments.

jacen200015 - Thank you.


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Chapter 10

The Dynasty Generals filed into the council room and took their seats about a round table. An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Eyes shifted from side to side. No one spoke. Each one waited for the inevitable meeting which would take place the moment the Dark Lady entered the chamber. Inevitable, because they knew one of them would pay the price of failure. One of them would not be leaving that room alive.

The door opened. There she stood, a menacing figure to behold. Her steps echoed through the chamber. Her cape billowed as she strode past the generals to sit upon the throne at the head of the table. Her eyes fell upon each face, one by one before she broke the silence.

"Report!" She commanded with a cold, unfeeling stare.

Each of the generals presented her with relevant information regarding troop movements, resource allocation, and the known political machinations of the lesser provinces both within and outside the Dynasty's jurisdiction.

"General Kilroy, Your assessment of the Mirror?"

"Based on all available research, there is but one piece remaining until it is complete. However, without it, we are vulnerable. Without that last piece, we are unable to use the Mirror for its intended purpose. The terrorist organization calling themselves the The Revolution have hidden the last shard somewhere in the west. It is possible, however unlikely, that they will find a way to exploit their advantage.

"My Lady has seen the faces of two men exchanging the Mirror Shard. My men are analyzing the images you saw. Very soon we shall identify the two we saw and retrieve the missing artifact."

"Well done, General Kilroy. Your loyal service will be rewarded." With this, the Dark Lady stood and began pacing around the table. "Loyalty is the only virtue I value; loyalty to the Dynasty, loyalty to the Empress, and loyalty to me..." Her steps echoed through the chamber, menacingly, much like the ticking of a clock counting down. "However, it has come to my attention that one among us has been disloyal. Gentlemen, you sit at the table with a betrayer."

The Generals all shot suspicious glances towards one another. Many prayed they were not falsely accused, or ignorant of some misdeed they should have been more aware of.

"General Hammond." The Dark Lady spoke as she stood behind him. "You stand accused of aiding agents of The Revolution in keeping the shard from me. I have received reports that your spies render more aid to their cause then they do intelligence on them for us. What have you to say for yourself?"

"Upon my word, there is no truth in this accusation. Who accuses me?" General Hammond returned, outraged.

"Well spoken, General. You are right. There is no truth in that accusation. Further investigations revealed a plot to discredit your spy network and dismantle your efforts in infiltrating The Revolution." Her eyes immediately turned to another in the room. "As for your question, your accuser is none other than General Yates."

"What?" General Yates cried out, feigning surprise. "You are mistaken, my Lady. I have been nothing but loyal to you and the Dynasty."

"I find your lies distasteful."

In that instant, General Yates found himself floating in the air, above the table, "No! Don't do this! It wasn't-" Before he could finish his sentence, the wall behind him shifted and opened to the outside and he was flung though that hole, where he would fall to his death. The wall sealed itself again.

A soft murmuring of relief was uttered amongst the survivors.

In that moment, an aid to General Kilroy entered and whispered into his ear. The General stood up and addressed the Dark Lady. "My Lady, we've found them."

 

Very nice!

 

Awesomeness!

 

SHADOW_MASTER_W - Thank you for all the Likes.

Jabari - Thank you for the like.

Asajj_Kenobi - I'm glad you like it.

jacen200015 - I'm happy to have picked up another commenting fan!

Jade_eyes - I'm going to assume you're Liking jacen200015's status as a "ditto", so Thank You, too.

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Chapter 11</h2>

Cecil was only just waking up when they returned to the slaver's stronghold. He was certainly unhappy with the idea of returning, but couldn't argue with the logic behind it. He had seen with his own eyes the wounds they healed upon Jim's body. He would be happy for them to do the same to him.

When the party approached, their hopeful reserve quickly vanished, replaced by panicked terror. Lucy and Jim were immediately on guard. The unmistakable signs of a great battle were clearly present. Someone attacked the slavers. And by the looks of it, the Marauders were to blame.

They cautiously entered the compound. Go stayed with Cecil while Lucy and Jim scouted ahead. They felt fortunate that there they found no Marauders here, but alas, there were also no survivors.

As the duo returned, Go overheard Lucy saying, "I know the slavers and the Marauders were enemies, but I've never seen them hit something this big before."

"They didn't. But we are meant to think they did." Go looked about him. "The Marauders wouldn't leave bodies behind, they eat human flesh. And these wound patterns; too precise, they died instantly. Marauders bleed their prey before they die."

"Someone's framing the Marauders for this slaughter?" Lucy asked. "Why?"

"It's less about framing the Marauders as it is about hiding the identity of the attackers." Go's face turned pale. He faced Jim. "My boy, did they, at any time unwrap your Mirror Shard?"

Jim nodded.

"Yeah," Lucy remembered. "They unwrapped something and handed it to..."

Lucy jumped on her horse and galloped off, ignoring Go's protestations. "No Lucy! Don't go! It's too dangerous!"

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Black smoke billowed mightily, churning back and forth through the sky. Its origins; Lucy's home.

"Uncle! UNCLE!" Lucy cried out, looking for any survivors. The bodies of old friends, slaves, and farmhands lay strewn about the devastated plantation.

Then she found him. His remains were difficult to identify, but the chain he wore about his neck was unmistakable. His mouth was frozen in a cry of horrible pain. His body was a charred black husk, still smoking. They tortured him before burning him alive.

Lucy was filled with an overwhelming sense of shame and guilt. Everyone she ever knew died, all while she was away from home.

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Lucy spent too long alone with her thoughts as she trotted her horse back to the encampment where she left the others. In her absence, Go had found the healing salve the slavers use and used it to heal Cecil's wound.

Not one word was uttered at Lucy's return. The grim expression she wore told that there was nothing they could say to comfort her.

"They're dead." She said at last. "They're all dead..."

"There's nothing you could have done, Lucy. They would have murdered you, too. And the Shard would be in the hands of the Dynasty."

"I'll go." She said. "I'll go with you to Alder. I want to become a Paladin of Fi, like my mother."

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This was originally posted on 5/23/13 at http://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=118
For as sneak peak at the next chapter, go to http://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=120

 

Terrific parallel to the OT but unique all the same. It is definitely an urgent matter for them to get to the Isle.

 

Yuck. Note to self: Don't attend any dinner parties hosted by the Marauders.

Nice update.

 

I'm really liking this. Very unique yet a nice parallel with the original.

 

Jade_eyes - Any guesses on what's gonna happen to that isle?

Asajj_Kenobi - I probably failed to mention this in this first draft, but the Marauders are Orcs. I'll do better in the second draft.

Jabari - Thanks for the Like and the comment.

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Chapter 12

General Kilroy entered the throne room and knelt before the Dark Lady before delivering his report. "Lady Evelyn, our Inquisitors have dealt with the two parties involved with the exchanging of the Shard."

"Have you recovered it?" She asked, cold as ice, drumming her fingers upon armrest of her throne.

"Not yet, my Lady. However we have a number of leads that we are following up on. I request you order General Mansfield's fleet to enforce a blockade of the port cities in the surrounding areas. My Inquisitors are increasing pressure in the region. Whoever possesses the shard will be forced to attempt an escape.

"Well done. I shall grant your request. Have your researchers yet determined the Shard's exploitative possibilities you mentioned?"

"A full report is pending, Lady Evelyn. My Inquisitors have attempted to acquire the plan from the Princess' mind, but have yet been unsuccessful."

"Of course you were unsuccessful. Her powers have grown in her absence from me." Lady Evelyn allowed a flash of an expression to cross her face. General Kilroy assumed it was mix of pride and satisfaction. "I will question her myself."

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Cold and alone, the captive princess did her best to put all thoughts of the boy named Jim out of her mind. All her hope rested on that boy's shoulders, and if they detected him in her thoughts, his life was forfeit.

"Princess Lenore" The voice at the door to her cell called out to her, ripping her from her meditative trance. It was a Dynasty Soldier, dressed in his intimidating armor. "You have a guest."

The guard stepped aside to reveal the Dark Lady Evelyn in her magnificence as she entered the prison cell. Lenore stiffened up and braced herself for the worst.

"Now, Princess, we will discuss your plans with that Mirror Shard." The door closed, the walls shifted, and Lenore found herself in a room with no doors, no windows, and the only light was a faint glow emanating from the red crystal that hung on a chain around Lady Evelyn's neck.

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The guard did his best to ignore the screaming that originated from the princess' transfigured prison cell.

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This was originally posted on 5/25/12 at http://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=120
For a sneak peak at the next chapter, go to http://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=125

 

Wow! Lucy's in a tight! fix.

 

Jabari - Thanks for the Like

SHADOW_MASTER_W - Thanks for the Like

Jade_eyes - Lucy? Do you mean Lenore?

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Chapter 13

Master Go lead the party through Marauder territory towards the coast line. They were able to hide from the roving patrols of boar-mounted marauders, which grew more plentiful as squads of Dynasty Inquisitors invaded the territory. Skirmishes were gruesome, but brief.

The day dwindled and soon night was upon them. Lucy kept watch over Jim and Cecil while Master Go scouted ahead.

Cecil slept like a log, traveling as much as they did wore on him daily. Jim couldn't sleep, he was still absorbing the consequences of retaining the shard and seeing his quest take on a continuation.

Lucy noticed her comrade's restlessness and invited him to sit beside her. Jim accepted her invitation. Once he was comfortable beside her, Lucy asked. "Who is she?"

Jim wondered if she expected him to reply. But she kept on talking.

"You fought for her. You let her hide that thing inside of you. You've endured sickness, torture, slavery, and worse just to bring that thing to Master Go. And now that you have, you travel with him. I think you intend to endure much more before the end. She must have been very important to you."

She was, Jim wanted to say. She brought hope where there was none. She was a light of freedom that shined through the darkness of tyranny. She sacrificed more than most to fight the Dynasty. Then she entrusted me with her quest.

"She meant that much to you?" Lucy asked, as though able to hear him. "Who was she? What did she do?"

Jim shot an expression of surprise towards Lucy, which caught her off guard. "What? Didn't you just say... Wait... Ohhhh." Lucy's eyes went wide as she realized she was hearing the words of a mute.

"Mind reading, huh?" Master Go chuckled upon his return. "You're progressing faster than I thought, Lucy. Perhaps the connection you made to Jim's scar opened a pathway for you. But why all this interest in the girl?"

"When I touched the scar, the image I saw was of a girl that looked just like me. I thought it could have been my mother."

"I'm afraid that's not possible." Master Go settled down and assumed a more somber attitude. "Your mother died shortly after you were born."

"How did my mother die?"

"A promising Paladin of Fi named Lady Evelyn, who was once my student, discovered the path known as the Dark Way. She helped the Dynasty rise to power and hunted down the Paladins of Fi. She betrayed and murdered your mother."

"The Dark Way?"

"When a Paladin of Fi follows The Way, their power flows with the universe. We've used this power to create artifacts, like the stone you carry. The Dark Way twists the artifacts, binding the souls of their creator to it. It is an unnatural power that allows those with evil hearts to bend the artifacts to their will. Followers of the Dark Way slay Paladins of Fi, trap their souls to their own artifacts, and use them for their dark bidding."

"Then who's face was it I saw? Who are we going to help?"

"Before your mother died, I took it upon myself to hide you, to watch out for you. Your father was also Paladin of Fi. Relationships between Paladins is forbidden, because both are so attuned to the Way, procreation almost always results in identical septuplets. It's forbidden because the mothers rarely survive the pregnancy. Yours did, for a time. Who you saw was one of your sisters."

"Sisters? Septuplets? Seven? I have six identical sisters?"

"At one time, yes. But the Dynasty has been hunting your family down and slaying them, one by one, out of fear of what you may become. That's why I hid you away. But alas, I do not know how many of your sisters are left."

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The following morning, the party found themselves atop a outcropping, overlooking the valley that stretched out to the sea. There upon the coast was nestled a quiet little port town with more slums and abandoned structures than a successful port would be expected to have. It did not look welcoming.

"The Port of Las Almas." Master Go introduced. "You will never find a deeper cesspool of cutthroats and buccaneers. Be on your guard."

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This was originally posted on 5/28/13 at http://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=125
For a sneak peak at the next chapter, go to http://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=127

 

Liked learning about Lucy's mother and bunch of sisters. Wonder who they'll meet in the port town?

 

Interesting idea, with the septuplets.

 

I've been enjoying this tale a lot. You've got me hooked.

 

Lucy's mom had a litter of kids? Ouch! No wonder the mothers don't survive pregnancy-- they probably died of exhaustion after being in labor for...days?

Interesting turn of events.

 

Jade_eyes - I wonder, indeed.

Jabari - Thank you for the Like, and I'm glad you find my little twist interesting.

Nightvision91 - Thank you for the Like, and I'm delighted to have hooked another fan.

Asajj_Kenobi - You got it!

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Chapter 14

The walls of the prison shifted and revealed a previously concealed door. The door opened, and Lady Evelyn stepped out. The princess' body laid the floor, unconscious and barely breathing. The door closed violently, and the Dark Lady strode out of the prison block, the only sound the tapping of her shoes upon the stone floor.

A guard dispassionately examined the princess. There were no obvious injuries on her body, but the signs of severe crying was present upon her delicate face; dried tears streaked her face. She bore all the signs of unconsciousness but one. Her eyes were wide open, an expression of horror frozen upon her face. She looked as if she were scared to death.

"What did she do to you? What did you see?" The guard whispered to himself, more curious than concerned.

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Sitting upon her throne, the Dark Lady was attended by General Kilroy and General Hammond.

"Forgive my prying, Lady Evelyn" General Hammond inquired, "How did the interrogation go?"

"Her powers have exceeded my expectations. I cannot retrieve the information from her mind without irreparably damaging her." The Dark Lady explained

"I take from your statement that you did, in fact, cause damage?" General Kilroy seemed amused by this.

"She will live, and make a full recovery. Of this there is no doubt. She is strong. The strongest of all her sisters. It's why she is not yet dead. Given time, she will make a fine heir to the Empress' Dynasty."

"But we must know what she was plotting, and soon." General Kilroy's previous amusement was replaced by panicked concern. Lady Evelyn began to think that his emotions were becoming too easy to read.

"I'm aware of our present concerns, General." She allowed enough venom in her voice to make sure he shirked back from his present course, but not to much to make herself seem annoyed. She was satisfied with the result.

General Hammond stepped forward to change the subject. "Might I suggest, my Lady, an alternative means of persuasion."

"I'm listening."

"Given Princess Lenore's history with the Isle of Alder, I recommend demonstrating the power of this Flying Fortress to her and the rest of the world."

The Dark Lady sat back in her throne and considered the implications of such an act. General Hammond waited intently for her response. He took the frightful mirth of her laughter to mean 'yes'.

"General Kilroy, set course for the Isle of Alder."

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Originally posted on 5/30/13 at http://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=127
For a sneak peak at the next chapter, go to http://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=128

 

Ooh, I am glad Lenore will recover but Evelyn's scheme sounds dire indeed. Hoping Master Go and his compatriots can foil it.

 

Every time I see the word Kilroy the lyrics of Mr. Roboto run through my head. Well, it looks like the Isle of Alder is now toast. Nice update.