Saga Rewriting Star Wars (AU, First Draft, 42 Chapters, Updated 8/13/13)

Oh man tough luck for Go. I agree with Lady_Misty it seems like the Empress did something to Evelyn.

 

Nyota's Heart - Yep. :_( , and thank you for the Like.

Jabari - Thank you for all the Likes. It's great to have you back!

Lady_Misty - Hmmm... What do you think the Empress did?

Nightvision91 - Thank you for the like. Hmmm.... Same question.

SHADOW_MASTER_W - Thank you for the like.

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Chapter 37

Their cover was blown, Go was dead, and their only chance for escape was slim at best. They ran for all they were worth across the deck towards the White Hawk. The rain of spinning stars that hurled towards them cast a shadow like a tidal wave over them. Lucy and Lenore worked together to erect a wall between them and the fast approaching projectiles.

Most of the flying stars were stopped by the stone wall, but most is not all. With the wall blocking the view of the guards controlling their stars, some just buried themselves into the ground around their feet, while others began whizzing frantically to and fro around the escapees.

Cecil cried out in pain as one star sunk into his leg. He fell to the ground with a groan. Wendigo heard both noises, turned on a dime, and scooped up his injured comrade. Cecil was unhappy with the fact he was being carried like a baby by this great beast, but quickly reconciled his feeling with his situation. Pouting would do him no good.

Lucy caught the still exhausted Lenore as she collapsed running, and helped her run to the ship. Jim kept close, but trailed behind to make sure they all made it.

Shaw reached the ship first and immediately attacked the guards caught by surprise. He detested using dragon fire on his ship, but he couldn't think of a faster way to clean up the riffraff. Once he cleared the deck he started arming the cannons.

Shaw didn't clear the whole ship. Furious soldiers emerged from the depths of the White Hawk, ready to slay Shaw while his back was turned. Cecil didn't like being dropped on the ground so suddenly, but when he observed the carnage Wendigo unleashed upon those who would attack his captain from behind, he was okay with being kept out of it.

A deafening roar echoed through the bay moments after Shaw lit the first fuse. A fireball struck the stone wall the sisters erected with such power that it was shattered and exploded in towards the fortress. The noise caused Jim to become worried that he would become deaf as well as mute. He covered his ears as he ran towards the ship.

One by one, additional fireball were launched from the cannons aboard the White Hawk, driving the Dynasty's soldiers to take cover. More stars whirred through the air, slicing randomly. Lucy took a hit for Lenore as they ascended the gangplank. Jim caught Lucy and helped everyone get on board.

Once the gangplank was pulled up, Wendigo took to wing. The clamps Shaw sabotaged came apart easily, as did the ropes Wendigo frayed. The

"Wendy, get us out of here!" Shaw took to the helm and steered the ship away from the fortress.

"I can't believe we made it." Cecil panted.

"It's not over yet!" Shaw shouted down to them.

Shaw was right. They crippled one launching bay, but the several remaining dragon aeries were well equipped, and four full grown, mounted dragons were fast approaching.

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Originally posted on 7/30/13 at https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=153

For a sneak peak at the next chapter, go to https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=155

 

Run heroes, run!

My thoughts are that the Empress turned Evelyn into the uncaring monster. She took Evelyn apart and then remade her. Sort of like Anakin/Vader was remade in Star Wars.

 

Gripping fast paced action Hope they get out of the danger zone and can make plans for what to do next.

 

SHADOW_MASTER_W - Thank you for the Like!

Lady_Misty - I think you may just have something there.

Nyota's Heart - We shall certainly see, shan't we?

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Chapter 38

Shaw locked down the wheel at the helm and left the flying to Wendigo. Cecil and Lenore took cover below deck, where she attempted to remove the star from his thigh and bandage his wound.

Lucy and Jim followed Shaw to the bow of the White Hawk where he handed them hand-launched harpoon guns.

"Dragon-riders," Shaw explained, "are actually pretty simple to take down. Use these bolos to ensnare a wing and they're grounded."

"They're too fast!" Lucy complained as one of them buzzed by their ship.

"I said it was simple, I didn't say it was easy." Shaw thrust the launcher into Lucy's chest then ran to position. Jim quickly followed suit. Lucy took a moment to look over the weapon to make sure is fired right before taking a position herself.

The dragons circled their escaping ship twice. Their speed and ferocity caused Lucy to take a step back. Jim didn't want her to know he felt the same fear, and did his best to feign courage for her sake. Shaw stared down the dragons has he had countless times before. He knew how to handle this situation, but rare was the situation that more than two attacked him. Four dragons were unheard of.

Upon their final pass, the riders took formation and charged the White Hawk's starboard side. The quartet of flying lizards opened their mouths in unison. Lucy just stared as the dragons inhaled, their inner fires roaring and flickering light deep down their throats.

"Now!" Shaw shouted and shot his harpoon at the lead dragon's wing. The bolt struck and the bolo did the trick. The dragon's wing was crippled and both dragon and rider plummeted to the ocean below.

Lucy and Jim also fired, but they were too late. Had they obeyed the Shaw's command when it was given, they might have succeeded, but hesitating to see what the effect was, allowed the other dragon riders to see the oncoming threat and dodge the harpoons. Their formation was broken and now they faced 3 scattered dragons.

"Damn it!" Shaw cursed. "Get inside, hang on to something."

Jim nodded and pulled Lucy through the trap door with him. "Hang on tight!" Lucy shouted to Lenore and Cecil, who looked at her for a second before complying.

Shaw wrapped his leg in a rope tied securely to the ship. "Wendy! Drop!" he shouted.

Wendigo retracted his six wings and the White Hawk began falling out of the sky. The dragons followed suit. Shaw scrambled to get to a cannon. He had no hope of hitting anything with it, but while free-falling, anything less would not be heard. He looked around, watching the dragons trying to keep up. He lit the fuse, and moments later, the sound of a cannon blast echoed past the roar of wind as they fell.

That sound was the yeti's cue. He extended all six wings again and barely slowed the decent of the ship before it had devastating water landing. Two of the dragon riders were not so lucky. They were so intent that the ship not get away that they didn't even notice the ocean coming up on them so quickly. When they tried to stop, they didn't have enough time and hit the water with such velocity that it killed both dragon and rider instantly.

But one rider was wise enough not to be fooled by such a trick. He kept back, and when he saw the ship land in relative safety, he saw his chance to strike. He pulled back on the harness, and the dragon inhaled deeply, charging his fire breath.

Shaw knew that if this dragon got it's shot off, he was sunk. The boat was too bulky to dodge, even with Wendy flying it. He reached for his satchel of dragonfire pellets, but it was empty. He used the last of it clearing off his deck. He saw an harpoon gun sitting on the ground near by. He leapt for it, just to be cut short by the rope around his leg.

Shaw looked up at the dragon, powerless to stop it. He watched it begin to breath the fire that would inevitably incinerate his ship and everyone on board. He watched as an impossible harpoon bolt entered that mouth, piercing the dragon's skull and rendering the great beast dead. He watched the dragon and rider fall into the ocean before he looked over and saw who fired the shot.

Lenore dropped the harpoon gun to the deck, looked him right into the eye, and said. "This is some rescue." Before hobbling back under.

"No reward is worth this..." Shaw muttered under his breath.

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Originally posted on 8/01/13 at https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=155

For a sneak peak at the next chapter, go to https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=156

 

That was one wicked shot!

 

Woot! for Lenore's crack aim and LOL on her comment about the rescue and Shaw's about the reward (They're both right)

 

Lady_Misty - Yes, yes it was.

Nyota's Heart - I love reusing the lines from the original in new ways.

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Chapter 39

Lady Evelyn opened her eyes in darkness. She willed corridors to open up before her. She formed her body out of the wall and walked directly to the room where the Mirror of Seeing was kept.

She stood before the mirror silently for several minutes. General Kilroy did his best to mask his nervousness from the Dark Lady. This did not go by unnoticed, and Evelyn made a mental note to congratulate the General on attempting to be in better control of himself.

"Have your researchers discovered yet what plot the Princess may incur with their broken shard yet?"

"No, my Lady. Not enough is known about the Mirror, and without further experiments on the remaining pieces, the mystery may yet go unsolved."

"I have new data for you. Perhaps with this information you can move forward with your investigation. I loath unpreparedness."

General Kilroy listened with great intent to the details of Lady Evelyn's story. How the shard was smuggled on board, how it caused agonizing, crippling pain to the Mistress of the Fortress just by touching it to the Black Stone.

"What shall we do?" Kilroy inquired.

"Have your analysts formulate counter strategies based on this new knowledge."

"What about you, my Lady?"

"What of me?" Evelyn turned a suspicious eye to her General.

"If such a simple thing can truly render you incapacitated, how shall we defend against it?"

"I have a simple answer to that question. I will find a new Master for this Fortress. A Master of Fi almost as powerful as I am."

Kilroy watched in wonder as the unconscious head of Master Go materialized out of the floor, followed by a body encased entirely in a masculine form of the armor Lady Evelyn wore.

"General Kilroy, meet Lord Go, the new Master of the Fortress." Lady Evelyn plucked the red stone from the center of her breastplate and placed it in the center of Lord Go's breastplate.

"Are you sure this is wise? Was he not your enemy?"

"Oh ye of little faith." Evelyn tore a length of cloth from her cloak and wrapped it around her hand. Then she used her protected hand to grip a shard from the mirror and held it like a dagger. With her free hand, she slapped Go across the face. "Wake-y, wake-y, husband dear."

Go suddenly awoke, and after a moment of recollection, realized what had happened. "What have you done to me?"

"I made it so we could always be together." She caressed her husband's cheek lovingly. His stoic expression masked his disgust at her touch.

"You gave me control of the fortress," he uttered his realization with surprise. Then his tone changed to one of cunning. "You shouldn't have done that."

Go began to focus his energy and attempt to destroy the fortress. Before he could shift a single stone, the Lady Evelyn stabbed the floor with the mirror shard. Go screamed like a little girl.

Evelyn enjoyed this reaction so much, the continued stabbing the floor again and again; long after her point was made. When she had left Go a quivering mess of a man, barely able to control his own mind, she stood up and said. "I will no longer tolerate any of your misbehavior. Your open defiance of me ends now. You are mine to command. Do you understand?

"Yes, my Lady." Go uttered between gasps.

"That, General Kilroy, is how I will avoid being incapacitated."

The General nodded approvingly.

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Originally posted on 8/03/13 at https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=156

For a sneak peak at the next chapter, go to https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=158

 

That seems very much like a very effective countermeasure, making Evelyn invincible.

 

Evelyn is well written. She does some things that under normal circumstances would be considered playful or something but really she isn't playing.

It is a wise move to connect the Fortress to another. whether or not Go was a wise choice will be seen.

 

Wow things just got interesting. Talk about a good countermeasure.

 

Nyota's Heart - It certainly seems that way.

Lady_Misty - "Evelyn is well written." Thank you so very much!!! That may be the best complement I've recieved so far in this thread. And yes, we shall see how this all will play out.

Nightvision91 - One of my least favorite things to do is to have medeocre heroes outwit stupid villains. I've always loved genius level villains who the heroes genuinely struggle against to defeat.

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Chapter 40

The night was hauntingly still. The White Hawk drifted slowly across the ocean waves. Without a clear destination, Shaw decided not to make progress blindly. He waited and bided his time. He had large debts to pay, and repairing his ship from the attack it sustained would be

Wendigo was exhausted from his ordeal. The yeti slept in the bowels of the ship. He was unhurt, but in no condition to be flying anywhere. He assured Shaw that all he needed was a full night's sleep and he'd be recuperated in the morning, but with how he ached going down, he wasn't too convinced of that plan.

Cecil slept, too. His leg was expertly bandaged up, but it would be a while before he could walk again. He was certainly not cut out for all this running around and violence. He desired greatly to be anywhere else. He tossed and turned in his sleep, despite being so painfully injured. The memory of seeing his old mistress, Lady Evelyn, haunted him terribly. Buried memories surfaced in his sleep, manifesting as nightmares.

Jim sat silently. He ignored his aches and pains and focused on the thoughts in his head. They knew something now. Something important. Collectively everyone had a piece of the puzzle. The question was what would happen when they put it all together, if they could.

Lenore sat, quietly pensive. She had sacrificed so much in her life for her quest. The words of that woman who called herself 'mother' echoed in her mind. She had called Lenore's quest nothing more than childish disobedience. So many men had lost their lives in the hope to see her desires come to be. If she gave up, their sacrifice would be in vain. But if she continued, how many more would die. What right did she have to choose the fates of so many?

Lucy couldn't cope with the loss of Master Go. She felt she had lost more than a friend. She sensed a connection with him that ran deeper than her relationship with her uncle. She held his stone in one hand and her mother's stone in the other. There were subtle differences in the stones that might not be seen by the casual observer. She wondered why she ended up with Go's stone; why it was gifted to her.

"You all are way to quiet." Shaw's interrupting voice jarred everyone who was still conscious out of their silent introspection. "We can't just sit here forever. We need a destination. And, more importantly, I need to get paid."

Jim, Lenore, and Lucy glared at Shaw's apparent greed. "What? You think this ship pays for itself? You're on a clump of wood in the middle of the ocean. Fish gets old after a while, and when we run out of food, or drinking water, or any number of supplies, we will die out here. Money is like blood. You may not like talking about it, but see how long you can live without it. And right now, you're bleeding me."

Lenore suddenly saw in Shaw someone who would not become yet another devotee who would sacrifice his life just because she asked. This filled her with an unexpected sense of ease. "If money is all you care about, then that's what you'll receive."

"Thank you, Princess." Shaw sat down with them. "Now, where are we going?"

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Originally posted on 8/07/13 at https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=158

For a sneak peak at the next chapter, go to https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=159

 

Shaw does have a point about money.

Cecil used to serve Evelyn? It makes sense seeing that when he saw her on the Fortress he knew her.

 

Nice to see the various reactions and Shaw's pragmatic focus and the classic ANH lines.

 

Nightvision91 - Thanks for the Like!

Lady_Misty - Your insight is about to be rewarded.

Nyota's Heart - I love repurposing those classic lines.

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Chapter 41

"I have a destination for you, Captain Shaw." Lenore spouted with a formality that seemed instantly insulting to him. "If you would be so kind as to set sail for Aedom Isle. I have contacts there with the forces necessary to launch a counteroffensive against that Fortress. They will have the money you're owed for rescuing me."

"Princess," Shaw said with a nod before turning and preparing to set sail. Wendy would have to sleep a little longer, so they'd have to sail the traditional way. "Jim, lend me a hand?" It sounded like a question, but was more of a polite command.

Jim hesitated for a moment, then left to help Shaw. Lucy smiled weakly at him before he departed; that smile did not go unnoticed by Lenore.

"He's a good kid." Lenore confided in Lucy. "I may never forgive myself for what I put him through. I miss the sound of his voice. Were I him, I would hate me."

"He doesn't hate you. Everything he's done, he's done for you." Lucy pleaded, hoping Lenore would understand.

Lenore favored Lucy with a small, understanding grin. The enormity of the world around them weighed heavily on Lenore's shoulders, and it showed in her eyes.

Then she changed the subject.

"Why wasn't Master Go the one to come rescue me? Where was he?"

"I'm not sure. He said he had to find something. It all happened so fast... Cecil went with him."

"We should talk to Cecil." She decided.

"Someone wants to talk to me? It has been a long time since anyone's said that." Cecil whispered.

Lucy blushed slightly for her less than kind attitude towards Cecil, but remembered what he did to garner that attitude and the embarrassment vanished as quickly as it appeared.

"Yes, Cecil. I need you to tell me everything that happened between you and Master Go."

Cecil relayed in superfluous detail the events that transpired from his own point of view. He paraphrased the words of Go describing the Red Stone they found in the bowels of the Fortress. Then he let slip the detail that he recognized Lady Evelyn before she began her fight with Go. He tried to continue his story with how he met up with Shaw and Wendy to rescue the girls from the prison cell, but the cat was out of the bag.

"You know Lady Evelyn?" Lenore wasn't really asking.

"Oh... did I say that? I- I must have misspoke..." Cecil scrambled to cover his faux pas, but the glares the girls gave him forced him to accept the truth of his situation. He was caught and there was no getting out of it.

He began his story slowly. "I my service to the Lady Evelyn began long ago. She was different then. She was human. She was kind." Cecil felt physically ill as he expounded upon his experiences. "There was always this sadness behind her smile. Something ate away at her from the inside. I never knew what it was. She was loved, adored, but nevertheless, she was lonely.

"Then, one day, something inside of her changed. Her sadness vanished, but her smile disappeared with it. In it's place was an insatiable cruelty. I watched as she would torture my friends and fellow servants... for fun. She wasn't angry with them, she didn't hate them... She was practicing; perfecting the art of inflicting suffering on others. Their lives stopped having any meaning to her.

"One day, she seemed to experience a flash of remorse. My number was up, but rather than put a long, painful end to me, she banished me, and sold me into slavery. Whatever caused her to feel that moment of compassion, I owe my life to it."

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Originally posted on 8/08/13 at https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=159

For a sneak peak at the next chapter, go to https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=160

 

So something changed in Evelyn one day. Something must have happened.

 

Now my brain is going to try to figure out what happened to Evelyn.

 

It seems she had a momentary return to compassion. But it's totally squashed now

 

Lady_Misty - Something did, and it was awful.

Nightvision91 - Thanks for the Like. There are some clues all ready, but all will be revealed in time.

Nyota's Heart - it certainly seems so.

Thank you all for your continued comments.

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Chapter 42

"The secret is that Red Stone." Lenore announced. "If we can get that mirror shard to connect with the Red Stone, the entire Fortress will lose cohesion."

"Cohesion?" Lucy asked.

"The stones of two paladins can only hold together as long as they consent. The Red Stone forces that consent to the control of a master. The Lady Evelyn has that stone. I saw her use it when she turned the island into a weapon that destroyed the Isle of Alder."

"I'm all for destroying that monstrosity, but how? There's no way we can get back in there." Lucy protested. "What are we going to do?"

"There is a Dragon Aerie on Aedom Isle. They have a small military force aligned with our cause. If we bring them the information we have, they may be able to devise a strategy to bring down that Fortress."

The whole ship lurched upward without warning. Usually Shaw's kind enough to shout out the fact that Wendy was about to fly, but for some reason, he kept it quiet. They were thankful for a more genteel ascension than their previous escapade, but the whole experience caught Lenore off guard.

"Relax, we're flying."

"We're in a boat, how can we be flying?"

Lucy had fun telling Lenore of the experience they had coming to her rescue as they passed the time on their way to Aedom Isle.

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"Our scouts are in pursuit of the White Hawk. We will find them, Your Highness." General Hammond assured Lady Evelyn.

"Call back your scouts, General." Evelyn ordered, offhandedly. "They are on their way to Aedom Isle. Her rebel friends have a military force there. We will pursue, slowly and give them time to gather their forces. Then we shall crush them." Evelyn then turned to Go who stood beside her silently. "Set course for Aedom Isle, husband."

He didn't say a word, but a slight shifting sensation was felt by all on the Flying Fortress.

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Originally posted on 8/10/13 at https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=160

For a sneak peak at the next chapter, go to https://www.empowernetwork.com/leewhittaker/?p=162

 

Blast, they know where to go!

Go is giving Evelyn the silent treatment.

 

Great plan but there's a big oops! in that Evelyn knows where they're going, but Go's silence may mean he's not totally under her control.