PT Rewriting the Prequels...

More stories? Don't mind if I do.

 

LOL !!

So for the dudes who PM'ed me asking for the videos of the models promoting my website - I've been told by a mod that is a no go. Sorry guys.... I got the first girl up at my website, our twitter, our facebook, and our youtube page if you still wanted to see those. I hired four of them, but the only one to come through was the American girl. The UK girl might flake out on me

My asian editor is awesome. I hired her randomly and she happened to also like Star Wars so she enjoyed working on 'Episode I - The Seven Jedi'. She is going to complete the new PDF file with no grammar errors so it looks legit. So I do apologize for the guys who already checked out the story and had to deal with my grammar issues

Also, I got my Brazilian artist working on two more character concept art. They will be put up on my website as soon as they are ready. And I will post one or two here for this thread.

 

If you look at my other post I apologized. At first I perceived this as Lucas hate, that's what I was referring to.

 

Nah its all good. I dont bash Lucas Prequel as much as others do online. I have my opinions, but TheForce.net forum members seem to defend them quite a bit. I think my story works well for Anti-Prequel guys and Pro-Prequel guys because its just something so different.

 

People are constantly re-editing and rewriting the prequels. It's going on 20 years and people just can't get enough of trying to make them work. Isn't it mind blowing how badly society was really hoping for Star Wars to catch that lightning in a bottle again back in the '00's? The desire for a good set of PT's has inspired, (that I'm aware of,) hundreds of re-edits, and re-writes and doesn't seem to be slowing down.

I ****ing LOVE Star Wars fans!

 

On the character of Darth Pryor I thought he was a little too powerful haha. I mean he is like REALLY powerful. I like his character though he is interesting. You don't just tell the audience everything about him. Could you have saved Palpatine for later? Sure. But really not a big deal. Act III would be really fun to watch on screen as well. I think the Jedi Characters are done really well and they're interesting It's pretty emotional how the end plays out, again I really liked Vasseem, I wanted to find out more about him. But thats what a good character does! I've always thought that they should have made Qui-Gon just a Jedi Master that mentors Anakin at times not neccesarily responsible for him like in TPM, then Anakin defeats Qui-Gon at the Jedi Temple in Episode III. You could have done the same thing with Vaseem, but now were just spitballing here. Again I haven't seen Ep II and III yet!!

I don't hate the Prequels. I enjoy them a lot more than many others do. Part of it is probably the Star Wars I grew up in but nonetheless I still enjoy them.

I was very impressed with just the story first of all. If this was the prequel we got, Star Wars fans would be really happy about it.

 

Thank you for the kind words. I have the grammar corrected edited version up on my website. I just wanted to be something completely different than just an average forum member "Prequel Rewrite". I'm trying to do my own thing and separate myself. The only way I can do this is the actual product. I have a different take on the Prequels. My stories are different. I didn't change Qui Gon, have Mace Windu do this, erase Jar Jar.... I got rid of everything and started from scratch as if the Prequels were never made at all. I'm actually surprised the five people who took the time to read my story all have returned with positive feedback on a Pro-Prequel Forum. Its a shame I cant get the story out to the other subforums on this site for others people to check it out, but whatever. Hopefully I can hire people to get the site out to the right fans.

My artist gave me some samples of the new artwork he's working on for my project. He's talented as hell.... The queen wardrobe is absolutely fantastic and I'm very impressed.

My UK model backed out just as I suspected she would, so I got a refund. Now, I'm waiting on Russian & Bulgarian models.

 

chagrian_scavenger
cbyers24
Big Boss_92
CIS Droid

Wondering if you four guys who actually took the time to read the entire Episode I - The Seven Jedi story treatment could give me a grade F- to A+ on how I did ?

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d_arblay - wondering if you still were going to read it and give me an honest critique like you said you were ?

MovieMaster - Sent you the link. Enjoy my Episode I - The Seven Jedi.... Please return to this thread and give me a grade and share your thoughts ! Thank you for checking out my website project on the Prequel Rewrite for the Original Trilogy Fan.

Also, if you are interested in The Seven Jedi story treatment, I don't really want to post it out on a public forum as mods are against that, so if you really are interested, shoot me a PM and I can send you the link...

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-More concept art will be posted by this Sunday , I believe.
-The final treatment has been edited without all the dumb grammar mistakes I originally made.

 

It has become a little tiresome, if I must be honest. I wish these people would simply write a STAR WARS fan fiction story in the manner they want and stop pretending that they can re-write a better Prequel movie.

 

Plenty of OT, EU, NEU rewrite fan fiction stories as well.
Some people just write for fun.
Get those creative juices flowing.

 

Sorry, i simply forgot about writing what i thought on this thread. I would give "The Seven Jedi" a C-. It wasn't bad but because i don't have that much to add I'm simply gonna say what i said in our conversation. I enjoyed your ot references and i liked how you portrayed the jedi as different from eachother and had time to give them their own personalities. I like how you did obi wan and anakins friendship. I enjoyed the sith and the main villain and how you portrayed the senate. The rest was also good.

 

I give this first episode a B+. I do not give more grade, for the things that I mentioned earlier that I did not like, but I think that Episode I is very good. I'm very eager to see Episode II.

 

I will do. Read the first 10 pages or so but honestly haven't found a stretch of more than 15 minutes to spend on it. I don't want to skim read it either. I like some parts I've read so far. Will continue asap.

 

Colwyn Ren , d_arblay, and MovieMaster are all next to give a critique of Episode 1 - The Seven Jedi. Looking forward to all of the replies and responses no matter how mean or negative they are.

Also, Episode II should be up over the weekend and I'm sending it to the four forum members who've already checked out Episode I and want to see the next chapter.

 

Especially since they can't.

 

I PM'ed the model videos to those who have read my website for advice on which model I should use to send to my marketing guy I hired.... You guys think the Russian because of an international feel to it or does the American have a more professional looking one ?

 

I would give your Episode 1 a B+

 

I'd show Republic officers. Since we see Imperial officers in the OT, we should see Republic officers in the PT.

 

General:
1. Make Anakin likable and have good qualities and do noble actions. When he turns to the darkside it shouldn't be a mere formality. It should be tragic. As it is, he seems like a psychopath throughout all of episodes I and II. The Jedis look like idiots for not seeing it, and the whole "there's still good in him!" angle is utterly unconvincing, because he never does anything noble.
2. Give Obi Wan an arc.
3. Create a romantic triangle between Obi Wan, Padme and Anakin. This way, you've 1. created evolving dynamics between the main characters and 2. Anakin has a reason for going bazerk at the end of ROTS
4. Develop both the villains and Jedis from episode I onwards, this way it matters to the audience when they meet their doom at the end of Episode III.

Phantom Menace:
-No Jar Jar
-Nemoidians don't speak English
-Wado is a human or any species other than a beer-bellied rodent
-Anakin is 16ish and he's in legitimately bad and brutal living conditions, so we actually feel for him when he's enslaved
-Anakin doesn't create C3PO
-No Phodsinbeed (what stupid character)
-Leaving his mother is legitimately painful for him
-Romantic chemistry between Obi Wan and Padme, with Obi Wan ultimately turning her down because of his duties as a Jedi
-End the movie with Obi Wan being knighted
-Darth Maul doesn't die

AotC
-Don't make Anakin into a psychopathic creeper. 1. It makes the Jedi's look like idiots for letting this psychologically unstable teenager "guard" a woman he's been obsessing over for 10 years 2. It makes Padme detestable for falling in love with a psychopath
-Don't have Anakin confess to killing the Tusken Raiders; that single moment transformed Padme from a principled leader into a deplorable trope of every negative female stereotype ever created. Also, it should be a moment of rage followed extreme, tormenting guilt.
-Have Anakin do something noble in the 3rd act to redeem his character (like risk his life to save innocents). Have this replace the droid factory scene. (Taking time give nuance the main character of the series!?)
-No 1950s diner
-Have Dooku show up earlier in the movie
- General Grevious should be present for the battle scene and we should see him kill several Jedis, this way he seems like a real threat in ROTS
-Obi Wan faces off with Darth Maul with Dooku watching on. Dooku baits him, reminding him of Qui Gon. Obi Wan cuts off Maul's arm and legs, leaving him utterly debilitated. Dooku baits him to kill Darth Maul. Obi Wan feels the temptation of the Dark Side and refuses to. Duku kills Maul himself and then proceeds to shock Obi Wan... which is right when Anakin shows up! [This sets up that turning to the Dark Side is a choice.Obi Wan overcomes the temptation at the end of AOTC... Anakin does not at the beginning of ROTS when he kills Dooku].

ROTS
-Padme finds out she has a terminal disease. [Now Anakin doesn't slaughter the entire Jedi over a single dream, but over a legitimate fear that of losing Padme. Also, now she doesn't "die of a broken heart"]
-The Jedis actually put up a fight during order 66, though they all still die
-General Grevious doesn't have a cough
-Yoda still goes to Kashyyyk, but doesn't meet Chewbacca

Overall ROTS is already quite good, so it doesn't need too many changes.

 

Also, way less CGI throughout the whole trilogy! Have real sets with the actors actually interacting with each other!

 

You mean... like there already was?

 

Not enough, clearly.