PT Rewriting the Prequels...

Hey Bret, as ya know I'm a fan of the PT, I must say, I really am enjoying your Episode III so far. Very well done! So far, it might be my fav of the three.

 

Wow, that is a huge compliment because I feel that Episode II - A Forbidden Love is my best work overall. . . I was hoping to write something more tragic and depressing with Episode III. Thanks for giving my story a shot and the feedback, you know I appreciate it. You might be the first to read it.

 

I've gotten to attack of the clones with my rewrite. I'll also write a midquel trilogy taking place between VI and VII.
How do you post pictures? I'd like to share my images for my prequel rewrite.

 

Upload the pictures you want to share onto a website like photobucket, then you only need to copy the url of the images and upload them here

 

Got my first Episode III feedback, so there is at least ONE person who checked out my work, lol.....

 

Sent all of the ppl who read my first two to check out Ep.3.

 

Here's how I think Revenge of the Sith could have been changed, and perhaps improved a little:

The biggest complaint about the film is Padme's character arc vs Episodes I & II. It is clear in both TPM & AOTC that she doesn't like being on the sidelines and at the very least, wants to be kept informed of news (hence posing as her own handmaiden on Tatooine and her comments to Anakin in AOTC about going into hiding). Yet, ROTS basically shoves her to the sidelines, and yes, that's probably because of how far along she was in her pregnancy.

Instead, I would have kept at least one or two scenes where she's leading, or engaged in the opposition to Palpatine's ever growing dictatorial powers. Palpatine realizes this, so he attempts to drive a wedge in between Anakin and Padme by implying she can't be trusted. Maybe a line like: "In times like this, Anakin, we must be careful of whom we can trust, and I'm not just referring to the Jedi. Some of my supporters have to be watched and even your closest friends should be watched." That implies he knows about their marriage, and takes a subtle shot at Padme.

Regarding Padme's pregnancy, my idea would still have her pregnant, only not as far along as in the actual movie. In fact, it might be early on, and she doesn't know yet. By the time she knows, she wants to tell Anakin, but he's so far down the dark side (or his behavior is becoming increasingly moody and dark) that she hesitates to tell him. This would mean, he wouldn't know about the pregnancy.

Finally, I would keep the scene where she confronts him on Mustafar, but when she finally realizes the line he's crossed, she knows she has to take action. Maybe a line she says or an action convinces Anakin she's betrayed him. That's when he lashes out, using the Force choke on him. Instead of Obi-Wan telling him to stand down, Anakin is only stopped when he hears Kenobi's lightsaber being activated. He turns to face the threat, and the duel begins without any dialogue, very quick, very furious and very brutal. Padme remains conscious and is forced to watch the early stages of the duel.

Obi-Wan returns after defeating Anakin, and takes Padme into hiding. She tells him about her pregnancy, which forces a quick conference with Bail Organa and Yoda. There, they will send her into hiding until it's time to give birth, then separate the children. Maybe Padme still dies of a broken heart, this time with the knowledge that not only has Anakin been lost, but she has to be separated from one or both of her children. As she dies, a young Leia (older than infant) either sees her sadness or senses it through the Force, thus keeping consistency with the scene from Return of the Jedi.

 

Did any other member read my ep.3 ?

 

Hi there BretHart. I couldn't say for certain, but I'll think you'll struggle to find any open minded fans here who took the time to read your, (excellent) prequel reimagining. Cryogenic gave 'The Seven Jedi' a brief whirl but didn't see it through to the end I think? Which is a real shame. Would've been genuinely interested to hear his thoughts on it.

 

Not sure how I'm going to spread the stories to get ppl's attn to check it out. Its a different take on the prequels that focuses on character development and character arc in the same concept of the Original Trilogy. The thing is, most people who actually read it, tend to give me positive feedback and in a time where people can say anything they want without worrying about hurting anyone's feelings, they can be mean and as brutal as they want - its the toughest crowd to please, its nice that I get the feedback that I've gotten. Star Wars internet guys are vicious, so if they check it out and like it, then I'm doing something right.....

Working on the Sequel Trilogy as I was not that into The Force Awakens being a soft reboot....I wanted an actual ROTJ sequel, so I will attempt to do that.

 

Hi Bret! I wanted to check out your Prequel rewrites, but the website seems to be down?

 

Hey. . I ran out of funds to keep the domain, so I'll have to put it back up in a few months, but FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO READ MY WORK - PLEASE PM ME AND I CAN SEND A TEXT FILE OR PDF FILE....

 

Ok, I put up another website (a free one) just so people can still check out my website in the meantime until I get my domain back.

The website link in my signature, check it out and give me feedback !

 

If I could redo the prequels, I would emphasize the romance between Anakin and Padme a lot less. I think it should they should have been less like love-sick puppies and more like people who found genuinely liked each other, found they had a connection, and grew so close because of the turmoil that was going on that they needed to stay together. I don't know if that makes sense, but the two don't seem to be very connected at any point. They're just, like I said, love-sick puppies. I think they should have had a deeper bond.

Also, I would have Anakin less "whiny" and more angry. Instead of whining and pouting about Padme to Obi-wan, he should have had an angrier bent to him.

That's all I can think of at this point in time. I haven't watched them in a while so I'm going off memory.

Oh, and, no Jar Jar and a better-looking Yoda in TPM.

 

I think in the first one, Anakin should've been 19, like Luke and at the end the Clone War starts. The second one purely Clone Wars and third one the way it is. But i don't mind it the way it is now.

 

I threw my Prequel Rewrite website link on IMDB and got a decent number of hits recently....I like my new website design.

 

I wonder: Could TPM have been written to make Palpatine a descendent of the Jedi Exiles and Maul a descendent of the Sith species?

 

Ewan McGregor and Ian McDiarmid were easily a highlight of the prequels though.
And i take back what i said, this way we got Darth Maul and The Clone Wars.

 

I've never seen James Mcavoy as a suggestion for Obi-Wan, that would actually have been amazing. He even looks like Guinness.

 

I think James Mcavoy would have been a better Obi Wan Kenobi than Mcgregor, and I like Ewan McGregor.

But when I had a vision of my Prequel Trilogy, I didn't want to keep any of the same actors, I like the idea of just starting from scratch.

 

Nihilus, is that you?

 

Episode I - The Seven Jedi

Tag Line: When the dangerous Clone Federation invades the peaceful planet of Alderaan, the Queen turns to the Jedi for help to save her people.

Cast of Characters:
Anakin Skywalker - 19 yr old street kid, orphan. Self trained at using force to steal. Has never seen anyone as beautiful as Rose, which changes his path.
Rose Winterfield - Young Queen of Alderaan, her planet was taken over by Clone Federation. She escaped and crash landed on Tatooine.
Obi Wan Kenobi - Yoda's fourth most powerful student. He is wise cracking, always positive Jedi. Finds Anakin & Rose on Tatooine, notices Anakin's powers and tries to convince him to change his ways and become a Jedi under his training.
Master Vaseem - Yoda's top student. The second most powerful Jedi in the Galaxy. He leads the Jedi into the Alderaan mission.
Baz Newton - Yoda's second student. The Lone Wolf. He doesn't agree with Vasseem, but goes along on the mission. He is the warrior of the top Jedi.
Ky'Lee - The cocky Jedi. Trained by Vaseem. He is the best acrobatic swordsman.
Swan Swindel - Trained by Vaseem. She rarely speaks. Total warrior. Silent but deadly. Baz Newton respects her and likes her the most.
Mikhail Barj - Yoda's third most powerful student. He believes that his only student, his younger brother will be the greatest Jedi of all time.
Norte Barj - Mikhail's younger brother, thought to be the most powerful Jedi one day, extremely strong with the force.
Bail Organa - Prime Minister of Alderaan. He has been friends with Master Vaseem for a long time, asks for the help of the Jedi.
Kwan Winterfield - The brother of Rose Winterfield. He hides among the villagers when Clones take over. Rose is most concerned about his safety and the reason she returns to the dangerous system.
Razaak - Mad scientist who was banished by the Republic for his illegal use of cloning technology. He takes over Alderaan for the planet's resources to produce his army to battle the Republic.
President Palpatine of Mustaphar - He argues that in order to stop the Clone Federation, the Republic should create an Army to bring order to the galaxy, he is criticized for his views.
Darth Pryor - Mysterious Sith Warrior, who enters Alderaan to form an Alliance with Razaak, to stop the Jedi from capturing him. Pryor's family was killed by pirates at an early age, he wanted to be trained by Jedi to seek revenge, only to be rejected by the Jedi as too much darkness was inside him. Palpatine found him later and fulfilled his destiny on becoming a powerful warrior to kill the ones responsible for taking his family.
Sheriff Daggett - Corrupt Sheriff in Anakin's home town, puts Rose Winterfield in jail when he learns of a bounty on her head from the Clone Federation. Him and Anakin have been butting heads for years due to Anakin always getting into trouble.

Episode II - A Forbidden Love

Tag Line: After an assassination attempt on Bail Organa who is the front runner for the next Chancellor, the Jedi return to protect the Republic from the Clone Federation who has returned stronger for their war against the Republic.

Cast of Characters:
Anakin Skywalker - 21 yr old, young Jedi Knight, best friend of Obi Wan. His life changes as Queen Rose Winterfield enters his life once again and he must face the challenges of his desire and his duties. He has been chosen to protect Palpatine.
Rose Winterfield - Returns to Corcusant to support Bail Organa become the next Chancellor. She begins a relationship with the young Anakin Skywalker despite the obstacles.
Obi Wan Kenobi - Sent to Dantooine to rescue the Chancellor before the Clone Federation gets to him first.
Baz Newton - The Leader of the Jedi after the deaths of Mikhail & Vaseem, the lone wolf Jedi is now a team leader as he is the second strongest Jedi in the galaxy. He takes issues with Anakin Skywalker due to his actions.
Bail Organa - The strongest candidate to become elected Chancellor. His stance against Clone Federation lead to an assassination attempt on his life.
President Palpatine - The last place candidate. He senses mistrust between Anakin and the Jedi, and begins to bond with Anakin.
Kwan Winterfield - Very protective of his sister, Rose. He is against her seeing Anakin.
Chancellor Augustine - The Chancellor who is stranded on Dantooine, who for the first time in his life has to fight for survival and his life from the savages of Dantooine as well as the Clone Federation.
Darth Pryor - Protecting Razaak from any Republic or Jedi threat. He is the one that is hunting Chancellor Augustine to bring to Razaak.
Razaak - Returns with a plan to secure a system, he will need to capture Chancellor Augustine to go head to head with the Republic for them to give in to his demands.


Episode III - Rise of the Sith

Tag Line - After several failed attempts at finding a cure for his dying wife, Anakin Skywalker seeks the hidden Sith Lord to help save his wife.

Cast of Characters:

Anakin Skywalker - Angry, Determined to save Rose Winterfield from death, he discovers Palpatine's darkest secret and must protect it from his own Jedi.
Rose Skywalker - Dying due to the twins she is pregnant with are so powerful with the force that its killing her.
Obi Wan Kenobi - Anakin's best friend, very worried about Anakin and tries his best to do what he can to give support, but must choose between his friendship and the duty of a Jedi.
Baz Newton - The second most powerful Jedi, trying to find resolution betweek the Republic and the Rebels who seek to remove Palpatine.
Chancellor Palpatine - Refuses to give up his term as long as Razaak is alive, this sparks a Rebellion toward his regime. Has the power to save Rose, but makes an agreement with Anakin to protect him from the Jedi.
Mon Motha - The strongest Candidate for the new Chancellorship, the various Rebel groups want her to become Chancellor as they feel Palpatine is corrupt with power.
Yoda - Returns to Corcusant for the first time in many years in order to disucss the political issues that is causing a civil war in the galaxy.
Docke - An alien on Tatooine, he is the Medicine Man. Anakin returns to his hometown to seek his help for his wife.
Sheriff Daggett - The corrupt sheriff who still holds a grudge with Anakin Skywalker after all the years he's been away. He is the first character to see Anakin's dark side.
Kwan Winterfield - Brother of Rose, he is by her side at all time and even has a mutal friendship with Anakin.
Bail Organa - Alderaan Prime Minister, becomes King when all hell breaks loose in the Republic. He helps Rose Winterfield escape Corcusant.
Razaak - Locked up in a prison due to his Clone War crimes, he reveals Darth Pryor origin and hints that there is another Sith Lord in the galaxy.
Ureba - Rose's personal nurse, she is by her side at all times.

 

I'm going to write out a much shorter summary of the plot / character / story arcs pretty soon. I realize there are only so many people willing to read 90 pages of fan fiction, so in order to get more eyes on my ideas, I will shorten everything out. I do appreciate those who did read the full stories and your feedback.

I have several various projects I like to work on in my free time from full time job, but the Star Wars Rewrite projects for prequels & sequels is without a doubt the most fun. Just because I'm such a fan of the characters, and writing their relationships was fun.

Starting the Sequel Trilogy (sorry, not a fan of TFA), I get to write Luke and the children of Han & Leia, so that makes it interesting.

 

I feel terrible for still not finding enough time to finish reading your rewrites, i promise i will give all the feedback i can give you when I'm done with it. Because your enthusiasm for this project is pretty amazing, and i admire that. That you put effort in creating fan made posters is just more proof for you´re dedication in this project.