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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Ring of Fire - The Final Story in Anakin's Saga - Author's final replies and goodbyes 2/23

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by geo3, Jan 18, 2005.

  1. GunraysLawyer

    GunraysLawyer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 23, 2003
    Interesting. I?m going to be boring and plead ?I couldn?t possibly say,? on this one. But I really, really want to come back to it later in the story ?



    Oh no...It's starting again......

    ;)


     
  2. Mr_Black

    Mr_Black Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    May 31, 2004
    But there is one problematic recurring theme? his fear.

    Fear and Loathing in a Galaxy Far, Far Away. Didn't work so well in Vegas, and it is even more problematic here. Never good. Yet, always entertaining ;).

    Darth_Lex: Vader is on the ascendance in Anakin?s personality.

    Perhaps. Although, I always thought that Vader represented the total erosion of Anakin's personality, the annihilation of his sense of self. In the latest chapter we see what I believe to be the vanguard of this suffocation of ego. So, instead of being an ascension of an aspect of the darker side of Anakin's personality, I see Vader as being representative of a complete lack of personality, individuality or humanity. Vader's construction yields the culmination of an object. Anakin loses his esssence and ceases to be a man or a person. Vader is essentially Palpatine's Button, which is pressed when the Emperor wants to sweep away a nuisance. Kind of Rosie in the Jetsons. Well, except for the whole maid thing. Vader certainly cleans up some pretty big messes, but he's anything but tidy about it. Adds to the whole Dark Lord mythos o_O.

    *re-reads his blabbing*

    Holy Father of the Simpsons! Am I on a Freudian kick or what? Eughh. I need a shower.

    I?m going to be boring and plead ?I couldn?t possibly say,? on this one.

    Peshaw. You could say, you just don't want to. Well, :p!

    I know! I wish I had that look on film.

    Well, it isn't exactly photo realistic, but I present to you an approximation of the expression and the emotional motivation behind it. Just use your imagination to add that silly little hat of Typho's that reminds me of the little guy from Fantasy Island that always said "De Plane, Boss!" And that odd bionic eyepatch he has, presumably from squinting all the time, as he fires his gun about as often as I dust my windowsills.

    Take 1:

    :eek: it's you!

    Take 2:

    :( Oh, [expletive deleted]. There goes the universe.

    Take 3:

    [face_batting] I hope he notices that I polished my bionic eyepatch. And that I'm playing hard to get with my gruff, over-protective exterior.

    Take 4:

    :oops: Here we go again...

    Take 5:

    [face_cow] Uh...Moo?


     
  3. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    GunraysLawyer You're absolutely right. It's a stupid phrase, and it's time I changed my tune! I'm open to suggestions. So far I have:

    - "I'm not prepared to discuss that yet." (A bit stiff, a bit formal, but leaving open the possibility of furure discussion. Sounds like something I would say.)

    - "Can't go there." (A bit curt.)

    - *Sticks fingers in ears * LALALALA (Rude, not to mention tedious to type.)

    - "Can't discuss. Spoiler danger". (Dunno. Doesn't really sound like me...)

    O.K. Your turn!

    Mr_Black I see Vader as being representative of a complete lack of personality, individuality or humanity. Vader's construction yields the culmination of an object. Anakin loses his essence and ceases to be a man or a person. Vader is essentially Palpatine's Button, which is pressed when the Emperor wants to sweep away a nuisance.

    Oh, my. I don?t think I?ve seen such an unequivocal view of Vader since the iconic film called ?Star Wars? opened back in the 1970?s and, with its stylishly spare but unambiguous black/white imagery, provided the world with the ultimate bad guy: Vader. He didn?t need to be complex then. He just needed to be big and evil and scary, and he was. A bodybuilder in a black suit with a mask and a cool voice did the trick. The furling cape was a really nice touch.

    If Lucas had stopped there, I would be agreeing with you now about Vader-as-animated-object. But the thing is, he didn?t stop there. He kept unraveling the story. Carrying it forward. Elaborating it. Enriching it. And before we knew it, Vader began to take on dimension. He had a past. He had been a good man. He was? a father. And surprise of surprises, he wasn?t just an evil droid that could be activated with the touch of a button or an order after all. He exercised choice. He changed his behavior. He repented. And he was redeemable! There was still good in him. I mean, who would have thought so, back in 1977?

    ESB and ROTJ by themselves put enough personality into that black shell that the ?evil object? view of Vader had to be revised. If no other Star Wars films existed outside of the OT, I would still be arguing with you. But the Prequels came along and Lucas bent over backward to make this ultimate Bad Guy become downright human ? to the point where real actors had to be hired to play him!

    The question of who or what Vader really was inside the suit during those 20-odd years between his creation and the events of the OT has been the subject of some of the most interesting and enjoyable fan fiction around. What did he think? What did he feel? What, if anything, did he remember? Why was he so subservient to the Emperor? What hold did the Evil One have over him? Was it just fear of the blue lightning, or was there more to it? And most of all, what kept him going? What kept him alive and motivated day after day?

    None of us have any definitive answers to these questions, and I doubt that we will after EPIII. But to ask those questions in the first place requires a concept of Vader that imagines him as awake and aware and self-motivated and capable of independent action. To take the time and care to explore the questions in fiction requires a deep belief in Vader as a tragic figure ? much more, then, than a tool in a cape.

    As you can imagine from my small treatise here, I fall into that category of fans and fanfic writers. I am a prequel writer. That means that, in my personal inner world and conception, there is much more to Vader than the mask reveals.

    I just thought you should know.


     
  4. GunraysLawyer

    GunraysLawyer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 23, 2003
    Hmm...suggestions,

    Well I have cornered the market on Conan Doyle's "Patience Watson! All will be revealed."

    So, how about this: "I have no comment at this time."

    or

    "I can neither confirm nor deny that at this time."

    EDIT

    or

    "It is not the policy this author to confirm or deny the accuracy of that plot (or charcater or whatever) speculation."

    END EDIT

    I know, I know lawyerly, but I'm deformed by my profession. ;)


    Oh, BTW, have I told you how much the end of the last post reflected what I see as Anakin's innate sense of...fun. Yes, fun. Think on it.

     
  5. Mr_Black

    Mr_Black Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    May 31, 2004
    such an unequivocal view of Vader since the iconic film called ?Star Wars?

    Which, both in the prequel trilogy and in your canon is the point he's currently being ushered towards. That is where my comments were focused; in the chronology after EP II until A New Hope. It is in this timeframe that I see Anakin essentially disavowing himself, and his humanity--in a sense, becoming an object, a bipedal weapon delivery system. I agree with you that he develops beyond this point. Of course he does. ESB and ROTJ would be far less compelling if Vader simply clomped along doing the whole "Crush. Kill. Destroy" routine. We see his humanity, his individuality, and his recognizance of his ability to choose his own future back on the rise. As you said, he's put on the road to redemption. However, I believe that Vader had spent so mych time repressing Anakin that he would not have been able to achieve this without help, which of course came in the form of his son. Luke is the catalyst, the locus point for Vader's epiphany; he used to be somebody. A man with his own thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, and possibilities for the future. It's through Luke that Vader becomes reacquainted with Anakin. So, yes, Vader is dimensional, he moves beyond being an object, a construct, a weapon to become a man once more. I stil hold to my earlier comments that Vader began as an object, as a willful act of suppression that cut Anakin the man off from himself. I argue further that Vader would've stayed simply an object, a weapon, Palpatine's button, were it not for Luke's interference. I believe that he was too far gone to redeem himself on his own.

    *pant*

    OK. This is stretching out too far. Fundamentally, my earlier commments were a retort to Lex, who saw Vader as a dark aspect that was ascending in Anakin's personality. I disagree. I see Vader, at least initially, as the suppression and elimination of Anakin; his personality, his ego, his sense of individuality--every facet that cohabitates his humanity. Conclusively, I see Vader's inception and existence outside of typical human interference and guidance (Luke's presence in Vader's life) as a lack of Anakin's personality rather than the zeitgeist of its darker aspects. That's all.

    [face_peace], [:D]. I'm sorry for getting you so riled up, geo, my dear. I in no way intended to.

    On a lighter note: Perhaps a possible replacement for "I could not possibly say"; "Wait and see what happens." Yes? No? It doesn't at all sound mean or condescending, and it entices the reader in question to maintain interest in the story. *shrug* something to consider at least.
     
  6. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    :eek:

    Well, I vote that 'I can't possibly say' remains! :p


    sinature
    ~I don't want things to change~

    ;)
     
  7. Reihla

    Reihla Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 17, 2002
    Yes, please, keep me on your PM list. Lately I haven't had much time for replies, but I very much appreciate knowing when you update.

    I'm sure you've heard it before, but Anakin's entrance was just awesome! Probably one of the best character interpretation scenes of him I've ever read. :D
     
  8. Sock_of_Darth_Vader

    Sock_of_Darth_Vader Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 24, 2002
    Geo, I haven't been intentionally neglecting you--my computer broke. I'm trying to catch up on the fic now :)
     
  9. Alethia

    Alethia Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2005
    Well, I've been reading this on fanfiction.net (but never reviewed- sorry about that, I'm a horrible reviewer) and never made the connection between this and that. Even though you have the same username. I'm lame, I know. Or really, more busy/tired/sick than lame...

    Okay, enough rambling. I really enjoy this fic and the prequel. The prequel, along with a friend of mine, is what convinced me to reevaluate my views on the A/P romance. I'm blushing now to admit it, but I used to vehemently hate the relationship. I groaned my way through EpII and rarely touched SW fan fic, for fear that I'd be forced to read A/P. And then at one am, while chatting with a friend (I'm in Europe, she's in the US- it wasn't 1 am for her), we got to discussing the A/P relationship. And I said that I hated it and she said she didn't mind it and then she asked me why. And then we talked some more and I was on ff.net and came across your fic and I decided to try it out, do to her urging that I take another look at why I disliked it so much. And so I did. And I spent two hours reading your fics straight through. I lost a lot of sleep (on a school night nonetheless), but I managed to read through to the end and start the sequel. And I realised that I didn't find the ship so bad anymore. I actually liked it. So here's me thanking you, and being wowed, because you managed to convince someone who hated the pairing to go to actually liking it. Up to the point where it's probably now my fav. SW pairing...

    Anyway, this is becoming a pretty long, but relatively pointless post.

    I read the latest chapter on ff.net, but you don't have it updated here, so I guess discussing it should probably wait... But I noticed that you asked if you should continue it there. I'll admit that I'm a horrible reviewer. I never review things at ff.net unless I know someone or make friends with them (in which case I usually end up reviewing every chapter written) and it comes across here as well, because I've been lurking here for awhile, finally got an account a few weeks ago and then finally started posintg sparingly since yesterday. But I just wanted to say that I love this fic. And I know that I can read it here too now, but I prefer reading it on ff.net, for some reason. I mean, if you want to take it off, it's your decision, but I'm frankly amazed, for one, that you don't have that many reviews (the prequel had a lot more, right?) and it doesn't really hurt to have it there, does it?

    And a question for you- since I read it there, but I'm also registered here, where would you rather I review? Here? Or there, if you keep it there? Or both...but then one set of reviews is going to be 'great chapter, can't wait for the next one' and not much else, because I never know what to say in reviews, which is most of the reason why I never write them- I find it completely stupid to just write 'nice chapter, write more', because it is completely poinltess to write that. I prefer writing longer reviews, but most of the time I don't know what to say... So I'll go back to fanfiction.net and review all eight chapters and then- heck, I'll try to review in both places. It'll be a challenge, make life interesting for me (not really, but whatever).

    *eyes post* Okay...so I've written a bit more than I planned to... So let me reiterate- I loved the fic. I'll be good and start reviewing. And thanks a lot for writing such an excellent fic that it makes me totally change my views on the A/P relationship.

    And PM...that's like setting a chapther alert at ff.net, right? Except from the author themselves? If so, then you could do that to me as well... I'd be very appreciative.
     
  10. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Whoo! More replies!

    Mr_Black Aha! Delivered with a bit more orchestration, and less flippancy, your comments about ?Vader-as-object? do actually make sense to me.

    Initially I had assumed that ?black hole? of conscience and/or awareness had to do with Sithness ? whatever that actually was. I mean, aside from eventually turning you to cheese and making you completely unwilling to listen to anyone?s opinion other than your own, I had inferred that the whole Sith thing somehow made you blind to a great many things while making you powerful in other ways. Then the elegant, urbane and decidedly un-cheesy and not frenetically tattooed Count Dooku came along, who could publicly and persuasively argue political idealism while still serving his Sith Master, and I began to wonder. Where Vader is concerned, your repression hypothesis is as good as any. Actually, I ran across another quite plausible explanation in Labyrinth of Evil, which I won?t go into here in case some who read this prefer to remain unspoiled with that book.

    So we?re good. *high fives Mr_Black*

    Thanks also to you to GunraysLawyer and to leia_Naberrie for your suggestions on what to say when I don?t want to say anything. I might use all of them, as the spirit moves me!

    Reilah I'm sure you've heard it before, but Anakin's entrance was just awesome! Probably one of the best character interpretation scenes of him I've ever read.

    Thank you! That?s high praise indeed coming from such a distinguished fellow A/P writer!

    Sock_of_Darth_Vader Geo, I haven't been intentionally neglecting you--my computer broke. I'm trying to catch up on the fic now

    No worries. Thanks for checking in!

    Alethia So here's me thanking you, and being wowed, because you managed to convince someone who hated the pairing to go to actually liking it. Up to the point where it's probably now my fav. SW pairing...

    Wow, this is truly amazing! I?m so glad that I could persuade you that Lucas? conception of this love story "across the stars" has merit. That makes me very happy.

    Welcome to this thread. There are no obligations for continual posting, of course ? I was just beginning to get the feeling over at ff.n that I was, to use my friend DarthBreezy's, phrase, "shouting into an empty room." If the spirit moves you and you feel like commenting, this is as good a place as any - there?s a delightful and eclectic set of regular readers here.

    I?ll put you on my notification list in any case.


    The next post is up below.


     
  11. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002

    Chapter 6. Echoes of the Past


    Padmé and Anakin walked all the way back to Padmé?s stateroom openly entwined, attracting quite a few deeply curious looks along with the occasional smile from those who saw them. The Senator?s marriage had been formally announced, but it was the first time that anyone on the Yacht had seen her in such an intimate embrace in public.

    ?I can tell you?re happy to see me,? Anakin murmured as they made their way through the Yacht?s corridors.

    ?Why, because I?m draped around you for everyone to see?? Padmé asked good-naturedly.

    ?Well, yes, that? and the fact that you haven?t asked me how I managed to divert a whole battle group to my personal errand.?

    ?I was planning to ask you that. Later.?

    ?Thought so,? Anakin grinned. ?You won?t believe it when I tell you. It's almost enough to make me believe in luck? and of course, I get to come back to Coruscant with you.?

    ?How long can you stay?? Padmé asked breathlessly.

    ?I don?t know yet. But I?ll string it out as long as I can.?

    When the door to Padmé?s stateroom opened Dellia was there, consulting in a low voice with Sabé, who was waving a comm. link in the air to emphasize something she was saying. Both women stood upon Padmé?s entrance. Captain Typho must have called ahead because neither one looked surprised to see Anakin, but their expressions couldn?t have been more different.

    Sabé cocked her head and raised one eyebrow, as she looked Anakin up and down quite unashamedly. ?So it?s you causing all this trouble,? she said dryly. ?Why does this not surprise me??

    Anakin responded with an exaggeratedly gracious bow. ?Sabé. What a pleasure it is to see you again.?

    But throughout their flippant exchange it was Dellia?s face that Padmé watched. The girl was staring at Anakin, and the look in her eyes was hard. Bitter.

    Padmé stole a quick glance at Anakin, and was surprised to see that his face, too, was suddenly set in an implacable expression. His jaw was tense. He and Dellia didn?t greet one another.

    ?Excuse me, My Lady,? Dellia said quickly, after a long, uncomfortable moment. ?There is work to be done.? She hurried out of the stateroom, squeezing by Padmé to get to the door as though to avoid Anakin completely.

    Sabé glanced at her mistress with a silent question, but Padmé only shook her head in confusion.

    ?I know you?d love for me to stay,? Sabé said sweetly, ?but I really must run, too.? She poked Anakin as she walked by him, and he grinned. The moment of tension had passed with Dellia?s departure.

    ?What was that about? Why does Dellia look at you that way?? Padmé asked when she and Anakin were alone. The door had hardly slid shut behind Sabé before he picked her up in his arms in that way he had of claiming all of Padmé?s attention for himself, and resolutely headed toward the sleeping cabin.

    ?Maybe she can?t bear to see us together, and happy,? Anakin suggested.

    ?Poor Dellia,? Padmé murmured with genuine compassion, and hugged Anakin?s neck hard. ?If anything happens to you, I could so easily end up in the same position. All alone.?

    ?Never,? Anakin vowed. ?I won?t let that happen.?

    ?I wish?? Padmé murmured. Her head felt heavy suddenly, and she rested it on his shoulder. It felt so good to let him take care of her, just for now. To believe that everything would turn out all right. They always had been good at pretending, after all. ?I brought the blastboat,? she whispered.

    ?I know. I saw.?

    ?Say the word, and we?ll go. I promise.? She had hesitated to run away with him once before ? before everything happened ? before Anakin?s life effectively had become forfeit. She didn?t intend to make that mistake again. To Padmé the small, hardy vessel represented the possibility of choosing freedom over duty. She would not be parted from it, and always kept it ready. This time, it would be Anakin?s choice, no matter what.

    Anakin stopped walking and stood still under the soft glowlamps of the stateroom?s sleeping cabin, cradling her gently in his arms.

    ?We?ll do whatever we
     
  12. BrownEyes_Blue

    BrownEyes_Blue Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 29, 2002
    Wow! Another great chapter, geo3. Bail thouht Padme married Dooku???? [face_laugh] Boy, will he be surprised!!! Can't wait for the next part!
     
  13. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    lol! I always liked Bail's tiff at the end. Iwonder what he's so upset about? ;)


    ?You?ve lost so much. Everything you dreamed of doing, of becoming? what do you work toward now? What keeps you going??

    Wow, that hurts doesn't it? Anakin's devotion to her is all welll and good but I have to thank you for showing me this side of their love. How does she live with herself, day after day, knowing that he's sacrificed so much because of her?
     
  14. Jole

    Jole Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 1998
    Just wanted to chime in that I have been reading this and think it is wonderful. I love what the characters have become under your guidance.

    Keep writing.
     
  15. Jazz_Skywalker

    Jazz_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    ?Did I wake you? I?m sorry. I shouldn?t have.?

    ?Of course you should.?

    ?It?s as though ? it?s as though she?s here, Anakin.?


    Again, you've made me speechless. I liked how you brought Balé back into the story.

    Nice touch having Bail believe Padme married Dooku! It will certainly be interesting watching them meet again!

    JS
     
  16. Jedi_BMK

    Jedi_BMK Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2004
    Great post. You have a wonderful command of your characters.


    But throughout their flippant exchange it was Dellia?s face that Padmé watched. The girl was staring at Anakin, and the look in her eyes was hard. Bitter.

    That definitely can't be good.


    Sooner or later, Bail is bound to meet Anakin and recognize him. That could end up being quite amusing when the time comes.


    ?One person out of a whole universe. That can?t be enough.?

    She could be surprised, even if two is a more accurate answer at this point.
     
  17. vampire-jing

    vampire-jing Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Oct 10, 2002
    But throughout their flippant exchange it was Dellia's face that Padme watched. The girl was staring at Anakin, and the look in her eyes was hard. Bitter.

    Poor Dellia. So she knew it's Anakin who killed her lover? I wonder who told her that...

    There was only the whisper of steady breaths that warmed her neck behind her ear, the reassuring touch of the warm body that curved around hers snugly from head to toe, and the sheltering hand that had slipped over her hip to rest on her stomach.

    Lovely mush. [face_love]

    But you were the one I sent away, little one. And I never saw you again.

    Bale is such a cutie. I miss her so badly...

    "You do, Padme. Everything I do is for you."
    "One person out of a whole universe. That can't be enough."
    "Two."
    "Two, then."
    "To me it's everything. You are my whole universe now, Padme. You're all I have left."


    :_| :_| :_| :_| It's so sad and beautiful at the same time...

    Thanks for the PM and another great post!
     
  18. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    Uh-oh...seems like Dellia knows exactly what happened to Lon..."I have a bad feeling about this." [face_worried]

    Poor Bail. :(

    He thought about the information that Padmé Amidala had shared with him at great risk to herself ? evidence that the official information given to the Senate about the conduct of the war was being systematically manipulated and distorted. He thought about the small group of good souls whom he had gathered to try to find a way to fight the situation, and then he thought about how, one by one, they all were meeting untimely death or dishonor or both.

    Ugh?Palpatine at work is an ugly thing to watch.

    Interesting that the idea of Obi-Wan seems to annoy Bail?probably represents the fact that he can?t escape harsh reality. Obi-Wan has a tendency to do that to people methinks.

    I like the greetings Bail and Mon Mothma use with each other.

    ?Do you ever get the feeling that we?re going backward, Mon? That civilization is being overrun by barbarism? That the old values ? nobility, self-sacrifice, community, fraternity ? that they?re all being swept away more every day??

    Good quote there. Very sad perspective on Bail?s part, and an easy thing to think both in the GFFA and in RL when there?s a war on.

    I couldn?t help LMAO at Bail thinking that Padmé is married to Dooku. [face_laugh] Poor Bail?this should be one case in which the truth is more reassuring than fiction, if a little stranger.

    Back in Padmé?s apartment?of course the place would bring back memories of Bale?so very sad. And Padmé seeming so full of despair, wondering if she can make a difference any longer.

    ?To me it?s everything. You are my whole universe now, Padmé. You?re all I have left.?

    I wonder if this line isn?t going to come back to haunt everyone involved at some point.

    Great post my friend. :)
     
  19. Alethia

    Alethia Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2005
    There are no obligations for continual posting, of course


    Oh, I know. And I also know what it's like to "shout into an empty room" (which is quite an apt phrase here). But really, I have nothing against reviewing. It's just that I like to leave reviews with actuall content in them, instead of mindless 'great. write more' and often enough the inspiration/inclination to do so fails me. But once I do decide- I do. Leave reviews, that is. Reviews are wondrous things to writers- as a writer myself (though I haven't written anything in ages), I have definitely learned that. And if I know you, or feel sorry for you, or something like that, then I do review. Every chapter, actually. I think my record is that I reviewed all twenty-five chapters of a friend's fic, just because I felt like being nice. And the fact that she needed the reviews. Anyway, I've gotten off track again (I tend to go off on a tangent sometimes- please excuse me). Basically I wanted to say that I know I don't have to review, but that I want to. Simply put, I like your fic, I'm beginning to like you and I feel a sort of gratitude towards you since you and DB (a friend) were the ones that made me reevaluate my standings on the love story "across the stars" as you put it. Therefore, it is no problem to review an excellent fic. It's actually more like a pleasure.

    And thanks for the PM. I already ended up reading this last night on ff.net, but I certainly didn't mind reading it again.

    Let's see...I liked the fact that Padme always has the blastboat ready to go, should the need arise. It's a nice bit of symbolism. Her ticket to freedom- and it all being Anakin's decision to go or not. It would be nice if sometime they could just leave and not have to worry about everything else around them.

    Bail's anaologies of the Senate were also well done. Especially this one:

    If you stopped dancing, you died.

    Or other people die.


    That one just hit me at how true it seemed to be. It's an extremely dangerous situation they're all in- and yet they can't stop and pull out. Much like the blastboat- it's there, but Padme does not use it. I just love that one- it's so chilling.

    The Mon Mothma/Bail interchange was also well-executed. You can see how Mon Mothma is going to become a main leader of the Alliance in the future and Bail's role in it all as well. A nice foray into their characters from a political level.

    Bail's surprise at Padme's pregnancy is also something that I liked. Except that, instead of chilling me or getting a nod in the execution of how it was done, made me smile. It is also apt the way that Bail connects Anakin to Dooku. They really are very similar, if you think of it. And I never really have, before now. Anakin would be loathe to admit it, but he also 'left the Order', is working for Palpatine and while he is not a Sith Lord yet, the undertones are definitely there.

    The ending scene with Padme, and Anakin telling her that she, and her unborn child, are basically all that he has left- sweet but haunting. And I just have this feeling that it's going to come back and 'haunt' them later.

    The way that Dellia and Sabe reacted to Anakin was also telling. So Dellia must know about Lon, I'm guessing, but no one else knows. And I just have this feeling that Sabe and Dellia were discussing Anakin before he and Padme walked in...

    Anakin's words on how the Force seemed to cling there, in the apartment was also something to think about. So many things went on in that apartment and the Force will always be there to remind them of it. Chilling. Haunting. Eery, But I liked it.

    All in all, a great chapter. And again, trust me, I don't mind reviewing. I think I'm going to like doing it for this fic.

    *sigh* I ought to go now. I have to work on a horrid project for school tomorrow about Symbolism. Which, now I think of it, was pretty apt for this story. Hmm...I wonder what my teacher
     
  20. MissPadme

    MissPadme Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 9, 1998
    Wonderful tender moments between Anakin and Padmé and sniff, another sad reminder of poor Balé.

    It was great seeing Mon Mothma again. Bail thinking Padmé married Dooku is quite amusing [face_laugh].

    --MissPadme
     
  21. bobilll

    bobilll Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 2002
    Oy, that was good. I always love reading this after a long day of homework... it's like my little reward for "being good" :p

    So, deja vu w/ some of the earlier scenes, but I usu. love rereading good scenes so that was pleasurable. Didn't think Delia and Anakin hated each other the first time, did they? Hum, Delia's anger is reasonable and expected, but I wonder where it will lead... hopefully she can control it...

    Haha, Bail's shock on Padme's marriage is pretty funny the first and second time reading...

    I?m beginning to wonder whether my time in this arena of politics has passed.

    I love that quote! "This is your arena. It is time I returned to mine." talk about deja vu!
     
  22. LadyZ

    LadyZ Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 16, 2000
    Great post! :)

    Dooku? :D Well, almost... :D Though I wonder if Bail will be happy to be mistaken...

    "The man lurked in the back of his mind like a persistent headache." Cool line :D

    It was sweet to see Anakin and Padme together- even if it's a Dark Galaxy now...

     
  23. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    OH, dear, it?s happening again!

    When the scene in which Bail finds out that Padmé is married was originally posted on ASTG, the same thing happened ? people read it to mean that Bail Organa thinks that Padmé Amidala has married Count Dooku. I thought I had fixed it (even tried it out on a few folks here at home, with good results), but evidently I didn?t.

    What I MEANT to convey, and obviously did it very, very, badly, is that Bail is desperately trying to imagine whom she might have married, and is struggling with the notion of ?a former Jedi.? ?Is there even such a thing as a former Jedi?? he asks. Then he remembers Dooku ? probably the only former Jedi he has ever heard about.

    And here is where I failed. I wanted to convey not, ?oh, that?s whom she married,? but rather, ?If that?s the kind of person a former Jedi is, then it?s not a good thing at all?? You see the difference? He?s deeply puzzled, and worried about the possible implications.

    Not to mention not particularly happy to hear that she?s married?:p

    I don?t think it would be possible for Bail to jump to the ?Padmé married Dooku? conclusion for a number of reasons. He knows her very well. He knows her political convictions, her values, her humanitarian passions. How could he even briefly imagine that she would have secretly stepped over to the other side ? to the arch-enemy of everything she has fought for and supported all her life? To the leader of the forces that are massed against the Republic? No, that doesn?t make sense at all. For Bail to jump to that conclusion would mean that he is ready instantly to believe the worst of Padmé, and I can?t imagine him doing that. But I?m sorry that I led you to believe that he did.

    If any of you brilliant writers who are readers here can come up with a better way to have written, this, I?m open to suggestions! Consider it a WRITING CHALLENGE! The winner will be announced in big red letters here on the thread and the story text will be changed accordingly!

    I?ll leave you with this final thought:

    This:

    [image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v17/DarthBreezy/Dork-koo.jpg]

    VS. this:

    [image=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v17/DarthBreezy/annnni.jpg]
     
  24. GunraysLawyer

    GunraysLawyer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 23, 2003
    Ok, I hav eto respond to this:
    ?How must it be for you?? Padmé wondered. ?You?ve lost so much. Everything you dreamed of doing, of becoming? what do you work toward now? What keeps you going??

    Padmé caught the quick gleam of Anakin?s smile in the faint light.

    ?You do, Padmé. Everything I do is for you.?

    ?One person out of a whole universe. That can?t be enough.?


    ?Two.?

    ?Two, then.?

    ?To me it?s everything. You are my whole universe now, Padmé. You?re all I have left.?


    (emphasis added)

    The direct answer to Padme's question is, "Of course, it is." I can only relate to my own experience: everything and everyone else could fall away, in the end the only things that have irreplacible value are my wife and children. The fact that Padme has difficulty understanding this is problematic, as is the fact that Anakin is being controlled by a threat to these irreplacible people.

    The Blastboat...I see this as a symbol of Padme's hindsight based regret and guilt. It is far, far too late to flee...Anakin wanted her to, and she refused for reasosn which seemd good at the time. However, she both underestimated the ruthlessness of her opponents and the vagaries of fate.

    Ok, I am about to say something awful. I have virtually no sympathy for Padme with regards to her guilt regarding Bale's death. This is not the case of a mother who had a child die due to disease or unavoidable accident. Rather, for political reasons Padme chose to put her adopted child at risk. She gambled and lost. Bale died for Padme's recklessness. Anakin is enslaved for Padme's sake. I am untroubled by feeling that she should feel guilty for everything but her role in the death of Lon Erian. For that, as a monotone Natalie Portman intoned at the Oscars, "I applaud her (note:portman said 'them')."

    ;)
     
  25. Alethia

    Alethia Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2005
    It's funny that everyone seemed to think that Bail thought that Padme was married to Dooku, because I don't see that at all. I commented on how chilling it was to think that Anakin might be more similar to Dooku than he'd like, but I didn't see how people made that connection that Bail though Dooku and Padme were married.

    Hmmm... but sorry, I don't know how to fix it. My muse has been very lethargic lately. And I'm still puzzled over it, anyway.