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Before - Legends Rogue Knight (A story of Padawan Qui-Gon Jinn) Chapter 2 Author Note

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ZaraValinor, Aug 24, 2003.

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  1. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    BEFORE THERE WAS A NEED FOR A CHOSEN ONE

    Qui-Gon smiled and dodged a deft strike from Dooku.

    BEFORE HE WAS A TEACHER

    Master Eris Forreen and her apprentice Tahl stepped off their transport and faced Master Dooku.

    "Where's Qui-Gon?" Tahl asked.

    Dooku shook his head, confusion and loss marring his aristocratic features. "I don't know."

    THERE WAS A YOUNG PADAWAN

    Qui-Gon stands over Tahl, his saber at her throat.

    "Qui-Gon, you don't want to do this."

    AND A TEST THAT WILL DEFINE THE FUTURE

    Thilas Orstan walks around young Qui-Gon, her hand dancing around his shoulder. "We have our own Jedi Knight, who will do whatever we command."

    AND MOLD A ROGUE...

    "I can't be a Jedi," Qui-Gon muttered. "Not after what I did."

    Tahl took his hand. "It wasn't your fault."

    "Does it matter?"

     
  2. KrystalBlaze

    KrystalBlaze Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    :eek: :eek: :eek:

    ZARA!!

    *sits down with Coke and cheetos*

    Put the story up, please! I have to read it! *begs* What an awesome trailer!

    -Krystal
     
  3. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Moves her hand in a gentle floating manner...You will post this story....
     
  4. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    I will post this story.. no wait. I'm no weak-minded fool. Good thing though that I have a post. Hope you like.


    Chapter 1

    Thilas Orstan smiled gallantly at the Jedi and his apprentice. She had invited them for a celebratory dinner, considering that it was through their efforts that the two factions; the daun-amji and the oran-amji had come to an agreement. As leader of the daun-amji she found it only fitting that she bestow the saviors of their planet the requisite courtesy. Clad in her red and violet ceremonial gowns with the tiara of Amjian resting upon her ebony curls, Princess Thilas was beyond elegant. She was the fifth princess in the dynasty of Orstan to hold the throne of daun-amji.

    Upon seeing her arrival, Master Sorran Dooku and his apprentice Qui-Gon Jinn bowed in
    supplicant humility. She received their gesture with an acknowledging bow of her head. ?Master Dooku, I can?t tell you how grateful I am for the marvelous work you and your Padawan did here. If it weren?t for you, the duan-amji and the oran-amji might still be in battle.?

    ?My apprentice and I are pleased we were able to negotiate a treaty of peace,? Sorran
    Dooku said, his engaging blue eyes looking over his aristocratic nose to twinkle charismatically at her. The man practically oozed charm and sophistication.

    Behind him his apprentice, an inordinately tall boy with dark hair and searching eyes,
    stood quietly and respectfully at his Master?s side. ?Boy? was a term used loosely in her mind and one that only his Master could ever ponder using. He was in his early twenties, possibly just out of his teens, but more man then boy. During the negotiations she had learned him to be
    nearly as quick witted and resourceful as his Master. The two were a formidable pair and the negotiations had run smoothly.

    ?I?m glad you decided to join us,? she said, turning her gaze from Jinn and back to his
    Master.

    ?Our transport isn?t due to arrive until tomorrow evening and it is not customary for the Jedi to turn down their host when such an invitation is given,? Master Dooku replied evenly but still with a spark.

    Gesturing delicately towards the dining hall she urged them forward. Her guards had
    already taken up position on either side of her and followed her as she lead the two Jedi into the reception area. Inside the elaborate room, serving droids and more living, breathing, servants scurried around tables that were already filled with guests from the lower duchies of the planet Amji. In one corner of a room an orchestra was situated, playing soft, lilting tunes of the days of the Orstan dynasty and others before it.

    Descending the stairs into the suck in dining area, she held her head high as she
    acknowledged those who were her allies in her kingdom and those that would have been happy to see Prince Tristan of the oran-amji succeed in his plot to take over her lands. Grace in every step she lead the way to the head table, taking the arm of each Jedi as she went. Neither of them pulled away but she felt the apprentice stiffen just enough to know that he was uncomfortable, the Master just smiled at her.

    ?This is truly wonderful, m?lady,? the apprentice whispered to her as they lead her to her seat.

    Those blue eyes searched her face, as if reading past the ornate jewelry, the heightening make-up, and her own natural beauty. Simply, it unnerved her. ?I felt something had to be done for you and your Master.?

    ?Quite unnecessary,? he assured her and received a warning look from his Master.
    Quickly he moved to cover up his quite direct comment. ?I mean, it is what the Jedi are meant to do.?

    A coiffed smile formed on her full lips. ?And the Jedi do not believe in being thanked??

    ?No. Gratitude is good on both sides, for the one who has earned it and the one who is
    giving it. But...? he trailed off, his had running through the mass of even cut dark hair.

    ?But?? she urged him forward.

    He gave her a shy tentative smile. ?You just don?t see a lot of it in our line of work
     
  5. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Great so far. I liked how Qui-Gon and Dooku are relating thus far - Dooku seems thoroughly in the light at this time. Poor Qui-Gon, killing someone is never an easy thing...

    Looking forward to more.
     
  6. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    dianethx

    Great so far. I liked how Qui-Gon and Dooku are relating thus far - Dooku seems thoroughly in the light at this time. Poor Qui-Gon, killing someone is never an easy thing...

    Looking forward to more.

    I was never of the mind that someone who eventually becomes evil always has to be that way. Dooku trained Qui-Gon, who we all know was a great guy if somewhat a rogue, so he couldn't have been all that bad to begin with. I don't know if you read Jude Watson's take on Dooku and Qui-Gon's relationship, but it just didn't jive with me.

    Qui-Gon's going to go through a lot more before this story is over.
     
  7. Shloz

    Shloz Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2001
    Force, girl, don't you ever rest?

    Great running start. I wonder what the Princess is up to with this apparent set-up.

    Even now Dooku seems a little 'off' for a Jedi - oozing charm and such. Then again, there's no reason there couldn't be Jedi like that. Interesting that his personallity hasn't rubbed off more on Qui-Gon.

    Plot point: did the attack come during the toasts at the beginning, or later in the meal? There seemed to be some contradiction in the narrative.
     
  8. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    Shloz

    Force, girl, don't you ever rest?

    Great running start. I wonder what the Princess is up to with this apparent set-up.

    Even now Dooku seems a little 'off' for a Jedi - oozing charm and such. Then again, there's no reason there couldn't be Jedi like that. Interesting that his personallity hasn't rubbed off more on Qui-Gon.

    Plot point: did the attack come during the toasts at the beginning, or later in the meal? There seemed to be some contradiction in the narrative.


    I posted this slightly asleep so I wonder if I skipped a paragraph, because I did have one where it shows that Qui-Gon kind of has a crush on Thilas. I'll check and make sure that it's in there.
     
  9. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    very good start
     
  10. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    Thanks. Next chapter tomorrow.
     
  11. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    Sorry, got a little side tracked but should be tonight.
     
  12. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    The situation has accelerated, my Masters. I feel it unwise to leave the situation as it is,? Jedi Master Sorran Dooku reported to the holographic image of the Jedi Council. ?It is clear that Princess Thilas was to be assassinated tonight and it was only by the will of the Force that Qui-Gon and I were here to stop it.?

    ?Right you were to contact us, Master Sorran, leave Amji you should not,? Jedi Master Yoda reported from his seat as head of the Council.

    After the attack, Sorran had sent Qui-Gon to make sure that the Princess was brought to
    her safehouse in one piece, while he contacted the Council. Qui-Gon was still very much in shock from the battle and Sorran knew the only way to distract his Padawan was to give him an assignment. Which didn't mean he wanted to keep Qui-Gon here with him.

    ?I agree Master, however, I would like to send Qui-Gon home,? Sorran said hesitantly.
    As much as he wanted his Padawan to find his peace, he knew that Qui-Gon would see this as a dismissal and not for his best interest.

    ?Why is that, my old friend?? Master Syfo-Dias asked from his seat left of Master Yoda,
    he was an Aphixian, amphibious by nature, large slits alongside his neck, allowed the Jedi Master to breath on dry land or under the torrential seas of his home planet. Otherwise he looked about as human as Dooku did himself.

    Plainly, Sorran outlined his reasons, explaining the unfortunate death of the assassin and Qui-Gon's understandable distress over the matter. ?I might have done the same thing in his place, the Force was definitely disturbed around the area. It was a long while before I could sense that most of the assassins were only fabricated assassin droids.?

    ?Strong is his connection to the living Force,? Master Yoda mused, bitting on his
    gimmerstick in quiet. ?Yet, strange this disturbance in the Force. Felt it too your Padawan did??

    ?Yes, Master,? Sorran assured. ?And he was the first to realize that there was an assassination attempt.? Dooku went silent as a thought occurred to him. ?He also stated something that only struck me now. Why would the oran-amji attack when Princess Thilas had agreed to their terms?? he voiced the question just as Qui-Gon had to him earlier.

    ?I have the feeling that you will need Qui-Gon at your side, Sorran,? Sifo-Dyas said
    sadly, ?This disturbance will have to be looked into considering the threat it poses to the Jedi and the Force. We can't afford Qui-Gon's feelings at this juncture.?

    Dooku did his best to keep his peace. As a Council, it was their job to keep the Jedi
    Order together and running smoothly as one entity, still it didn't keep Dooku from feeling frustrated with their often callous and unidirectional views. He often wondered how Master Yoda could stand to head the body of stiff tunics. ?If you will excuse me but I think I know my Padawan well enough. He is not in a state conducive to this mission.?

    ?Nearly ready for the trials he is,? Master Yoda reminded him of his statement previous
    to their departure for Amji. Qui-Gon had advanced quickly and it would only be a matter of time before he was ready for his trials. ?Learn to deal with this, he will. Put aside his feelings for the mission, Padawan Jinn can.?

    ?Yes, Master,? Dooku said, defeated. Master Yoda was right in this. Qui-Gon would face many trials as a Jedi Knight and he could not be pampered, Sorran would just have to make sure he guided his Padawan through this rightly. ?I will report when I have more information.?

    His old friend raised a slightly salmon tinted hand. ?May the Force be with you,? Sifo-Dyas said by way of silent apology.

    Sorran bowed and switched the communication's field off, silently reciting several expletives that he would never dare say out loud, especially when they were directed at the Council.

    Stepping out of the sound proof room used for communications such as this, he made his
    way quickly back to the quarters they had been assigned to at the Republic Consulate. The night air was chill cooling the heat from his c
     
  13. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    Upping. Good Story.
     
  14. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    So the plot thickens. It could get really bad if the Prince was killed with a lightsaber....I guess we'll just have to wait and see....
     
  15. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    dianethx

    So the plot thickens. It could get really bad if the Prince was killed with a lightsaber....I guess we'll just have to wait and see....

    Let's just say it gets really bad.
     
  16. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
  17. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
  18. Shloz

    Shloz Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2001
    I'll do the next up.

    Neat vision! So, if the Prince was offed with a saber, was Qui-Gon watching something real, or just experiencing a warning from the Force?

    Dooku is hoping that Qui-Gon will 'break down' or something. Is he still more or less light-side here, and just wants Qui-Gon to release his guilt?
     
  19. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    Shloz

    I'll do the next up.

    Neat vision! So, if the Prince was offed with a saber, was Qui-Gon watching something real, or just experiencing a warning from the Force?

    Dooku is hoping that Qui-Gon will 'break down' or something. Is he still more or less light-side here, and just wants Qui-Gon to release his guilt?

    Oh, yeah he's still good and you got it right, Qui-Gon needs to release his guilt. I don't think that Dooku was such a bad guy, perhaps misguided, especially when he hooked up with the Sith. But I got from the movie a genuine affection for Qui-Gon
     
  20. Darth_Vercingetorix

    Darth_Vercingetorix Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2003
    Great story. What about a sleepwalking Padawan? If Qui Gon was being controlled by a dark force user and he was the one that murdered the Prince, that would explain the haze which surrounded and caused him to think that he was dreaming.
     
  21. CharlieHickok-

    CharlieHickok- Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 18, 2003
    Very interesting story.
    Can't wait to see what happens next.
     
  22. JediVeloJinn

    JediVeloJinn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 2003
    Well, I was just browsing around and I found this. It's really interesting and if you're going to continue writing this, sometime, then please, could you let me know? Or do I click on the 'active topic notification'? I don't usually read fics where Qui-Gon contemplates turning rogue, but this one is really great.

    ~Velo~
     
  23. Reihla

    Reihla Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    May 17, 2002
    Great story so far! I have to admit the "please read" in your header line was very effective. Nothing like being asked nicely...

    I'm really enjoying how you've written Dooku. Watson's version never did click with me either. Here he's got the dangerous edge that makes his later turn believable, yet he still obviously cares about the Jedi Order and his padawan. I like that he already believes in Qui-Gon so much that he feels the Council might one day benefit from him becoming a member. Speaking of Qui-Gon, his interactions with his master and the rest of the world are very well done. You've captured his unpredictability very well.
     
  24. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    I will be returning to this story as soon as I finish Thread of the Force. Which should be in a couple of weeks. Thank you.
     
  25. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    WEEKS!??!? Like how many!!? I just found this and you can't leave it like that ;) Very excellent job. I love how you've portrayed the relationship that Qui-Gon and Dooku have. Excellent work.
     
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