Rooney and the Force

It's been a good fifteen years since I sat alone in my room trying to move objects across my desk by using my mental powers, but now on the dawn of EURO 2004, I see this as the ideal opportunity to once again to try and muster up my own Force powers. So on Sunday evening I will be sat on my sofa mentally willing the French to fall over, and thus make easier for England to score.

Who's with me?

 

The french falling over is basically the only way england are going to win.

 

It's not you, it's the players themselves who have the Force. Rooney has the highest midichlorian count ever.

Plus, it's best to think positive about England's chances against France. You can bet the players will be convinced of victory when they step out onto that pitch on Sunday.

However, I will be willing the French to fall over.

 

They always THINK they will win
But they normally don't when they face a real team.

 

It'll probably be the most boring match ever and end up as a draw.

Still the Swiss seem to think they can beat us, according to their *cough*Turkish*cough* striker.

 

If my calculations are correct... then I'm of the opinion that the French game is infact the least important of the three group games. Beating Switzerland and Croatia is absolutely vital, beating France is not. If we can come out of the group with six points, that'll most likely put us in 2nd place. That would mean a likely quarter-final against either Spain or Portugal... and I think, with Portugal being the home nation, they're pretty much an even match for one another. So either Spain or Portugal will be fine.

If we finish first or second in our group we can't play France again until the final... therefore the French game is NOT a required result.

 

" I see this as the ideal opportunity to once again to try and muster up my own Force powers. So on Sunday evening I will be sat on my sofa mentally willing the French to fall over, and thus make easier for England to score."

And who do you think you are, Uri Geller?

 

And who do you think you are, Uri Geller?

No, there's only one bender around here mate and it aint me.

 

Sure, I can help you, but if we get in a situation where I have to choose between Sweden and England... well, I'm sorry, but...

 

Same as our manager then!

 

You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring football home.

You believe its this, boy?

 

ROOOOONEY!

 

Here is a excert from today's post match press conference:

Reporter: Sven, what is your analysis of Wayne Rooney?

Sven: Well, wait a minute please.

[Sven adjusts his glasses]

Reporter: Sven, please, we need a midichlorian count. Please tell us!

Sven: Well, yes, our readings are off the chart, over 20,000. Even Thierry Henry doesn't have a midicholrian count that high. Today's match proved that.

Reporter: No player in the world has. Sven, what do you think that means?

Sven: I'm not sure... but for sure, it is good, yes?

Reporter: Well we all hope so.

Sven: Yes, the force is strong with him.

[Sven laughs]

Sven: Thank-you all.

 

rooney has got as much force about him as a carrot

 

yes, your totally correct even though france could not beat greece.

 

i am the dark side. and i know my name is part of the good side.