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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends Running Away. (Qui/Obi. Angst) Sequel to Patience *Complete* Thanks for the noms!!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Glenstorm, Jun 20, 2008.

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  1. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 1999
    Poor Obi-Wan, he wasn't meant to be a farmer! :_|

    Shame on Qui-Gon for lying to Obi like that! [face_shame_on_you] If he really wants to keep Obi out of trouble, he should have made him his padawan already! [face_frustrated]

    I think Obi is probably soon going to regret throwing that comlink away! [face_worried]

    Thank you for the update, Glenstorm, I really love this story! :D
     
  2. Glenstorm

    Glenstorm Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2006
    Blue_Lightsaber42: Thanks and no problem! Update is here.

    dianethx: Thank you, my friend [:D]

    Valairy_Scot: ?I'd like one of my own but for different reasons.? [face_laugh] Me too!

    ?I wonder if your story is so much richer because it's not aimed at "young readers?? That?s just it. I?d love to see someone rewrite the JA series for adults. All of the books about Obi-Wan?s childhood are for kids. It?d be nice to see some others for the more mature reader :D

    Thanks, my friend. I?m so glad you?re liking this [:D]

    dimyavie: You?re right, he does. Bad Jedi Master :) As to Obi-Wan staying out of trouble? hmmm. How likely is that? :D

    Lileia: Thank you, my dear. I?m glad you like so much of this :)

    Gkilkenny: You?re right, he?s not. Especially when it comes to his Padawan?s [face_worried] But considering the experience he?s had, we can?t be too hard on him :D Thanks again, my friend for your continued support.

    Jedidas3: [face_blush] [face_blush] Thank you so much! But I think we?re going to have to wait for Qui-Gon to come round now :(

    wolf_kenobi: ?Uh-oh. Things are looking worse and worse for Obi-Wan.? Oh yes and I think they?re going get a lot worse before they start to get better [face_devil]

    Bastet: Yes, I think so too [face_worried] Thanks, my friend.

    Now I don?t know if I should post this here, but I would just like to give a big [:D] and :* to everyone out there who nominated my stories for the Awards. I was so happy and honoured to see so many of my fics nominated! I don?t mind saying I nearly fell over with shock :D I had no idea! Thank you, thank you!

    And now, on with the story?


    Chapter 3


    Night on Bandomeer was almost as stifling as the day. Despite the thinness of his sheet, Obi-Wan was unable to find comfort. Restlessly he listened to the sounds of the other labours sleeping peacefully.

    Far from being soothing, the soft noises only served to increase his restlessness, for it meant his fellow workers had achieved that sweet oblivion which he wanted so badly for himself.

    How did they rest in this heat?

    But he supposed the others did have a distinct advantage. They didn?t have the troubles he had swirling around in their heads. His conversation with Qui-Gon and the disturbing discoveries that he had made this day continued to plague his every waking moment and served to drive sleep ever further from his grasp.

    His anger at the Jedi Master had not cooled since their abrupt exchange and his frustration with the situation had only increased with the passage of time.

    The Home Planet Mine had been destroyed. Offworld had a foothold in the Enrichment Zone. And no one seemed to be doing anything.

    Obi-Wan turned sharply on the hard mattress, burying his face in the too warm pillow. Worst of all Qui-Gon knew something, and he had kept it from him.

    ?Negotiations have become? very complicated.? He had caught that much from the Master. What had gone on in Bandor since he had come here? Obi-Wan could only guess.

    But he was sure that the broken circle symbol was an important clue to it all. Twice now it had shown up in different forms. And he still had no idea what meant. What could it mean?

    Obi-Wan growled in frustration and sat up. This was not getting him anywhere. Sleep was impossible with all these questions pacing his mind. They had to be answered. And if Qui-Gon was not going to investigate then so be it. He would.

    Decided he threw his blanket to the floor with an impatient kick.

    He was going back to the annex. No one would be around at this time of night so he would be free to investigate at his leisure.

    Which suited him just fine. Because, no matter what, he was determined he would find out just what secrets lay beneath the lid of the box bearing the broken circles...



    Two minutes later, dressed loosely in pants and an und
     
  3. Blue_Lightsaber42

    Blue_Lightsaber42 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 7, 2007
    Yay, a postie![face_dancing] I'm really liking this, Glenstorm, you're really good at getting words out. I like this version better than the real JA ones.:D
     
  4. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    You deserve your noms - congrats and [face_good_luck]


    Obi-Wan?s breath left him.

    In a rush of adrenalin he whirled round, just stifling the cry of surprise that wanted to break free.


    Sure, lull us all in and than - bam! - spring Xanatos on us! :eek:


    ?These two will look after you,? Xanatos said brightly. ?But don?t get trying their patience too much. They?ve just had a long shift in the mines and don?t need much of an excuse to start venting their frustrations on you.?

    Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his knees and stared up at them defiantly, tight lipped.


    Ah, Obi, still so young. Defiance is not the best defense.


     
  5. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004


    Oh dear Obi-Wan will never learn.

    great post.=D=
     
  6. dimyavie

    dimyavie Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    May 3, 2006
    You updated! Awesome post! I'm worried for Obi-Wan, but hopefully Qui-Gon will help him soon. Thanks for writing!!
     
  7. wolf_kenobi

    wolf_kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2007
    Excellent post!=D=

    Oh dear, Obi's in serious trouble now[face_worried] .... hurry up and help him Qui!

    Looking forward to more!
     
  8. Lileia

    Lileia Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jan 17, 2008
    I held my breath when reading the fight. I literally saw it!! But, good Force, you fooled me! :) I couldn't believe Kenobi might win this one and I thought your Xanatos couldn't connect to the Force. And here I am with my jaw dropped when he reviels his power in the Dark Side. Wow! You did great!

    Will disagree about two things however. :D
    I might be overcritical, sorry, but that's how I feel.
    Firstly, I don't think he had soooo much anger in him that would sustain from the moment of conversation upto the night. Ob-Wan is far too kind for that plus his affection to Qui-Gon is bigger than he even admits to himself. There could be sadness and disappointment left by that time, bit not anger.
    Secondly, "contempt" is not a word for such a true Jedi as Obi-Wan. Contempt means he thinks of himself higher than others. But he was not one of Yoda's favourite initiates for nothing, he learnt his lessons well. He could've felt pity for Xanatos who waisted his life away and betrayed the Order and it's that pity would drive Xanatos mad with fury! :-B (Like "How dared this farmer feel pity to the great me!"[face_laugh] )

    Well done, Glenstorm! It so unlike events in JA-2 now that it's getting more and more interesting to read!

    And I agree with Valairy_Scott. You do deserve these nominations.
     
  9. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I also agree that you deserve the noms. This is a wonderful story.

    I liked that you've veered away from the mining platforms and left him there to die, no hope, no Force, beings there to make him suffer. He's not looking like he's going to get away any time soon plus the planet needs to be saved.


    Loved this.

    ?But I won?t be here long, Xanatos,? Obi-Wan said, dropping his hand from his abused cheek. His eyes filled with a quiet determination. ?I think you underestimate Qui-Gon. He will come for me in the end and then we will stop you.?

    Xanatos? cold smile slipped back into place. ?If that?s what you believe, then you really are a fool. He will not come for a mere snivelling brat. He has no interest in failures. He did not want you before, so why should he want you now? No, Kenobi, even if he does finally figure everything out, he will leave you. One more burden off his back.?

    The words ripped at Obi-Wan, causing him more pain than the physical blow.

    ?No,? he whispered, shaking his head.

    ?Yes, I?m afraid. I know him better than you do, so believe me when I say he will not waste the energy. He will leave you to die here.?


    Good old Xan. Spreading his poison.

    Great job.
     
  10. jedidas3

    jedidas3 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 25, 2007
    Someone better go and help Obi now! [face_praying]

    Congratulations on your noms...they are well deserved! =D= =D=
     
  11. EGKenobi

    EGKenobi Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Good fic :)

    Loved the first one. This one's even better.

    Please PM me when you update

    EG
     
  12. KenobisGirl

    KenobisGirl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2001
    Oooh, good stuff! First time posting again in like four years, thought this story deserved it! I'm really enjoying the twists and turns, keep it up! :)
     
  13. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 1999
    Awesome post, as always! :D [face_love]

    Poor Obi-Wan, I hope Qui-Gon gets there soon! [face_praying]

    I can't wait for more. :D
     
  14. Glenstorm

    Glenstorm Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2006
    Blue_Lightsaber42: Thank you [face_blush] I?m so glad you?re liking this so much!

    Valairy_Scot: You deserve your noms - congrats and [face_good_luck]

    Thank you, my friend. I?m really going to need it :)

    Gkilkenny: No, he won?t. Not for a while anyway ;) Sometimes I think trouble just follows our Obi without him even having to try :D

    dimyavie: Thank you, my friend. Next update is here! You?re right, Obi needs some help now :)

    wolf_kenobi: Thank you! More is here!

    Lileia: Thank you so much, my dear! I find it hard to write action so I?m glad you liked it!

    Ah, disagreements! Goodness you do make me work ;) Hmmm, I don?t know about the anger. Remember at this point Obi-Wan did have a lot of anger in him. He admitted it himself in JA1. He is kind but this is only his beginnings. It?ll take life and all his hard experiences to turn him into the wise and noble Jedi we all know and love. As for his affection for Qui-Gon: strong emotions create strong feelings. His love for Qui would make the rejection all the harder and if he won?t admit his affection then it would be hard for him to understand and release his hurt.

    As for the ?contempt?. Well our Obi is a Jedi through and through. The honour is written on his heart. I don?t mean for him to look down on Xanatos, but he would be disgusted with Xanatos? treatment of the great honour that he had been bestowed. And again, remember, Obi-Wan is only young at this point. To coin a phrase: ?He still has much to learn.? :D

    I hope that addresses your concerns. Those are my thoughts anyway. Thank you so much for reading and keeping me on my toes with characterization. It?s very important to me [:D]

    dianethx: Thank you, my friend. I hope you like this next chapter as much!

    jedidas3: Thank you! [:D] Keep up the marvelous work with all your own wonderful stories. You too deserve your nominations [face_good_luck]

    EGKenobi: Loved the first one. This one's even better. :D Great! The problem with sequels is living up to the standards of the first. You?ve set my fears to rest. Thank you! And a warm welcome to my PM list.

    KenobisGirl: Thank you so much! Here?s the next part! Welcome back.

    Bastet: Thank you once again, my dear! More is here :D


    ***

    Chapter Four


    Darkness. Pain. Thirst. Hunger.

    That was what the whole universe had burned down to.

    Obi-Wan huddled in his corner, bruised arms wrapped around his battered knees, trying to ward off the growing chill. Within and without.

    The guards had finally left him alone. The soulless sand jackals that so delighted in his suffering, ceaselessly returning for the kill.

    They would be back. Taunting him mercilessly with the collar, savouring their power and beating him until he cried out like a wounded animal.

    Obi-Wan moaned low in his throat. He didn?t know whether he could survive it. Not again. Shame and fear threatened to overwhelm him.

    Too many times they had come, in time unmeasured.

    And he was growing weak now. He could barely persuade his deprived and battered body to hold itself upright. When they came back, he would surely break under the strain.

    Obi-Wan pressed his face into his knees, hiding in the deeper blackness that they offered him.

    But he couldn?t escape. The sound of shifting chains grated across his hearing, harsh and bitter. He had long ago given up trying to fight them. It was no use. Even if he could slip out of the cuffs, the collar around his neck was a surer chain than any that could be forged of cold hard iron. And he dared not tamper with that device. Not even if he could muster the energy to even try.

    Obi-Wan groaned anew as his stomach burned, twisting with a hunger like he had never known. It pulled his mind away from the bindings. He would have given anything just for a bite to eat. Just a piece of bread. But, he surmised bleakly, his mouth was so dry now that such a wish would be useless to him. It would be
     
  15. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Oh, just wow! Such emotion - both of them. Sheer perfection!

    Faint tremors began to run through his body. ?You came?? his voice cracked even in a whisper and suddenly the emotions were threatening to overwhelm him. He was shocked and numb. He couldn?t bring himself to meet the blue gaze he knew was waiting for him. Not yet. After all hope had died, Qui-Gon was finally here. And for the moment that was all he could think. ?You came.?

    The hands on his shoulders tightened slightly. ?Yes Obi-Wan. Of course I did,? Qui-Gon said.

    Obi-Wan closed his eyes. ?I?d? almost lost hope,? the whisper slipped from his lips. ?Didn?t think? you would come.?

    The hands loosened abruptly. Qui-Gon?s shock was palatable. His voice when it came was rough with hurt. ?Obi-Wan?I am here. How could you ever think I would leave you to this??

    Obi-Wan?s eyes flew up, finally looking Qui-Gon in the face, helpless to answer. How could he say what he was feeling? Say that Qui-Gon?s rejections had chewed their way into his soul and with each passing minute Xanatos? words had reached him just that little more deeply, making him doubt all he knew and believed in.

    No. It would sound too much like an accusation. And he would prefer not to mention Xanatos to Qui-Gon.

    Qui-Gon sighed in the face of his helpless silence. Sadness filled his deep eyes. ?Never mind,? he said after a moment. ?Let?s just get you out of here.?


    You really don't know, Qui? Really?
     
  16. dimyavie

    dimyavie Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    May 3, 2006
    Awesome update! I loved how Qui showed up to save Obi! The emotion Qui-Gon displayed when telling Obi-Wan about Xanatos was wonderfully written too. :) Thanks for updating and I'm looking forward to reading more!! :D
     
  17. Blue_Lightsaber42

    Blue_Lightsaber42 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 7, 2007
    You need to teach Jude Watson how to write. This is so much better. You're really good at getting the emotion across, and makes me all squee-gee when there's an angsty part.[face_love]
     
  18. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004
    You wrote this part exceptionally well,=D=
    and I had to smirk at Qui-Gons questiono_O

    To Obi-Wan?s surprise the deep blue eyes were filled with sadness. ?You didn?t seem very confident of that back in the prison,? he said, in a tone that struck Obi-Wan to the core. ?You weren?t certain that I?d come for you.? The blue eyes fixed him. ?What have I done, Obi-Wan, to cause you to have so little faith in me??

    What has he done!! aww come on Qui-Gon. You refused to see Obi-Wan for who he is.
    He isn't Xanatos.[face_shame_on_you]
     
  19. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I was so relieved when Qui-Gon showed up. Took him long enough.


    Slowly Obi-Wan obeyed but only so far as to raise his eyes to Qui-Gon?s neckline. Faint tremors began to run through his body. ?You came?? his voice cracked even in a whisper and suddenly the emotions were threatening to overwhelm him. He was shocked and numb. He couldn?t bring himself to meet the blue gaze he knew was waiting for him. Not yet. After all hope had died, Qui-Gon was finally here. And for the moment that was all he could think. ?You came.?

    The hands on his shoulders tightened slightly. ?Yes Obi-Wan. Of course I did,? Qui-Gon said.

    Obi-Wan closed his eyes. ?I?d? almost lost hope,? the whisper slipped from his lips. ?Didn?t think? you would come.?

    The hands loosened abruptly. Qui-Gon?s shock was palatable. His voice when it came was rough with hurt. ?Obi-Wan?I am here. How could you ever think I would leave you to this??


    Now why would Obi-Wan believe that he would come? After all, Qui'd been rejecting him non-stop since they left the Temple.

    I liked how Qui-Gon told him the story about Xanatos and how it affected him. But his reluctance to take on another Padawan, while understandable, is counter to the Force. He'd better start listening to that instead of his fears.

    Great job.
     
  20. wolf_kenobi

    wolf_kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2007
    Excellent post! =D=

    Finally Qui-Gon comes to rescue Obi-Wan- thank goodness![face_dancing]

    I'm glad Qui dealt with the reason Obi didn't think he'd come, and explained what happened with Xanatos. I think it'll be important that Obi-Wan knows the truth.
    But Qui continues to push Obi away- can't he see by now that Obi-Wan is not Xanatos? :(

    Well done. You write the dialogue so well and do a superb job of conveying the emotions running high on both sides. Looking forward to more!
     
  21. jedidas3

    jedidas3 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 25, 2007
    Have you ever considered just simply rewriting the JA Series? You have truly captured what they should have been. You have a tremendous gift and I'm so thankful that you are sharing it with us. You leave your readers wanting more, so please hurry with the next update.[face_praying]

    Anyway, I was glad to see Qui come to the rescue and now I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter in their adventure. Great job!=D=
     
  22. Glenstorm

    Glenstorm Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2006
    Valairy_Scot: "Sheer perfection!" Really?! I don?t know what to say, just--thanks! :* I know I?ve said it before, but I?m so glad you?re enjoying this so much. I hope this last chapter lives up to its predecessor in your eyes :)

    dimyavie: Thanks, my friend!

    Blue_Lightsaber42: "You need to teach Jude Watson how to write." [face_blush] I don?t know about that! But thank you, thank you [:D] And prepare yourself--more angst approaches :D

    Gkilkenny: No, he?s not Xanatos and a certain Jedi Master better learn that very soon :D Thank you, my dear.

    dianethx: Thank you! [:D]

    wolf_kenobi: Thanks a lot. Writing emotion is often my favourite part to write. It?s great to know I?m doing OK at it [:D]

    jedidas3: "Have you ever considered just simply rewriting the JA Series?" Aarrgg! Don?t start me! :D That?s an epic task in the making. I wish somebody would though. Jude Watson?s books are wonderful, and I enjoyed them all. But now I?m older I would like it if someone wrote a more grown up version. I just don?t know if it?ll be me! Thank you as always, my friend, for all your wonderful support. It?s an honour to share these stories with you [:D] [:D]


    Okay, last chapter folks! Here we go...


    Chapter 5

    Is it me, is it you? (is it me, is it you)
    Nothing that, I can do (nothing that, I can do)
    To make you, change your mind (to make you)

    Is it me, is it you? (so why do - you run - away)
    Nothing that, I can do (won?t you tell me)
    Is it a, waste of time? (why do - you run - away)


    *

    Obi-Wan ran after Qui-Gon as the Master hared through the control yard. He did not slow or wait, so Obi-Wan was hard pressed to keep up. Time weighed heavily on both their minds now. They had to stop Xanatos before he could set his plan into motion. All else would have to wait.

    Qui-Gon quickly found a landspeeder at the rear of the compound and roared it to life. Catching up Obi-Wan jumped in beside him, relieved that they weren?t going to run all the way to Bandor.

    Gunning the motor Qui-Gon spun the craft round and blasted it out of the industrial dock in the direction of the capital.

    Going at break neck speed Obi-Wan found himself hanging onto the side as the wind tore through his hair. Jungle and patches of mining waste whipped by on either side but the pace did not slacken as the landspeeder dodged and weaved.

    Obi-Wan risked a glance at Qui-Gon. The Jedi?s face was carved with determination, focused now on the confrontation ahead. Tentatively he reached out for the connection between them. If they were to face Xanatos they?d best do it united. Of one mind.

    But he ran into a wall. Qui-Gon was still keeping the fledgling bond in a strangle hold. Nothing could get through.

    Frustrated Obi-Wan pulled away. He had thought after what had just passed between them, Qui-Gon might have relented. Let him in if only a little. But no. Nothing would ever change that. He had done everything possible and he no longer knew if the problem lay with him or with Qui-Gon.

    He did not try again. If this was what Qui-Gon wanted then so be it. They would have to do as best they could. And he hoped it would be enough. Xanatos was powerful and cunning.

    All too soon the spires of Bandor came into view. Within moments they were weaving through the city streets. Qui-Gon shifted their course again, heading now for the Home Planet Mine.

    The mining tower loomed overhead as Qui-Gon shot into the yard in a cloud of dust. Brakes screeched in protest as the landspeeder was brought to a sharp halt. Obi-Wan was glad of his restraining device in that moment.

    Qui-Gon jumped out and Obi-Wan followed suit, determined not to be left behind.

    ?What now?? he asked.

    Qui-Gon?s gaze was piercing. ?We find Xanatos.? With that he turned and crossed the yard towards the entrance of the mine.

    Encouraged that Qui-Gon had said ?we? not ?I? Obi-Wan started after him, pushing aside his weariness as he moved through the dusty ya
     
  23. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    There would be no more running.

    What an ending =D= - and a beginning. [face_praying]

    I thoroughly enjoyed it and I'm going to be evil - I want a sequel and a sequel and a sequel all the way to TPM!

    A =D= to one of the finest authors on the boards!
     
  24. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Beautifully done. No more running ... unless it's side by side.

    Xanatos' letter seemed so cordial, ... what are we to make of that?

    But, as one of your starving readers I am glad to hear that you will revisit Game of Death first.
    =D= [:D]
     
  25. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Brilliant.=D=
    An excellent resurgence of the JA books.:D
    Well done.[:D]
     
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