I've been thinking about this subject for a while, and still can't put my thought out clearly, so bear with me. I can understand the problem someone might have with the word feisty, but I really can't think of a different word that would be good to use. "Fiery" or "a firecracker" might be a better word, since it show's that she's dangerous but doesn't give the negative connotations seen with a word like "aggressive". There's an irrefutable difference between the physical aspects of men and women, and that needs to be considered when viewing stuff like this. Merely from the fact that women have much higher voice than a man, women are naturally less imposing. Let's look at it this way; say a friend starts chewing someone out, and is very angry about something. Unless it is really terrible, when a women does this it makes things uncomfortable, but nothing more than that. You aren't, say, worried about the other person's physical well-being. When a man does it, though, it makes everyone on edge. I know I feel a sort readiness to spring into action at those times, in case something goes bad. Is it bad that I see the two in different ways? Not in my opinion. I don't look at women as "lesser" than men, and I don't disregard the threat they can pose. But my natural "fight-or-flight" reflexes react more strongly toward an aggressive man than a woman. (BTW, I am way more afraid of women than men. A woman will make me shut up and listen, whereas a man will just make me want to be aggressive in response.) I know that whole jumble is hard to make sense of, so TLDR: The differences in words use to describe women vs. men is mainly due to the natural physical differences, in my opinion. It doesn't make women anything less than men, but rather helps to convey the different natural response you feel toward either sex.