Sacrafices (MAJOR angst, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Also MAJOR AU) THIRD PART IS UP!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jacinta_Kenobi, Jun 23, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    Ok, I know this is bad of me, but I couldn't resist.

    No sending me email bombs, alright? I know this is sad, but I warned you!

    Here it is. I hope you like it!

    Title: Sacrafices
    Author: Jacinta Kenobi
    Spoilers: None
    Rating: PG
    Time Period: JA, bi is almost 21

    *****
    It was supposed to be simple.

    The mission would only take two or three days. Nothing drastic. They would be back before Obi-Wan?s birthday.

    So why had things turned out so badly?

    Qui-Gon Jinn felt hot tears running down his cheeks. Things were not supposed to happen this way.

    Qui-Gon tried desperately to remember how he had gotten where he currently sat in the dusty street, hair askew, legs curled beneath him.
    *****
    Obi-Wan?s ginger braid flew, the silver strands of fabric glistening in the dim light as he turned his head quickly. ?Master!!? He cried, a bit of fear slipping past his usually excellent control as he tried to get Qui-Gon?s attention.

    Qui-Gon looked toward his padawan. ?What is the matter, padawan?? He asked quickly of the young man.

    Obi-Wan didn?t waste time explaining. He merely pointed, and Qui-Gon moved to the open doorway where Obi-Wan was standing. He looked out the door, and his expression became grim.

    Hundreds of burly purple-blue aliens were stalking towards them, weapons held in their hands, and hateful expressions covering their features. The aliens of Creeja were at least two feet taller than himself, and had caused his apprentice to understandably feel dwarfed, but the 20-year-old Jedi had hid it well. Obi-Wan never ceased to amaze Qui-Gon with his abilities.

    Qui-Gon turned to his padawan. ?Obi-Wan, get behind me.? He told him quickly, and Obi-Wan, knowing that the doorway would not fit both of them and that it would be better not to venture out until they knew what was going on, obeyed without question.

    Qui-Gon stood as tall as he could, making sure the aliens knew that he was not intimidated. When the aliens finally got close, one of them stepped forward. Qui-Gon recognized the being immediately. While the aliens were so alike that it was impossible to tell them apart by physical attributes, this particular Creejan wore flowing silver robes and several earrings on each ear.

    Lasun Eriyota. The leader of the Northern tribe of Creejans.

    ?Qui-Gon Jinn.? Lasun?s booming voice rang out.

    ?Leader Eriyota.? Qui-Gon returned, bowing formally at the waist.

    ?Save your bowing for someone who wants it!!!? Lasun demanded. ?Step outside, Qui-Gon Jinn. I have something to show you.?

    Qui-Gon gave the alien a wary look, but stepped out, barely noticing that Obi-Wan followed only a few steps behind him. He glanced in the indicated direction obediently, and saw heavy smoke rising into the air, curling with a mind of it?s own as it reached for the stars.

    His heart clenched. The only substantial thing in that direction that could be burned, since there were no forests on Creeja, was the Northern tribe?s encampment.

    Qui-Gon turned his gaze back to Lasun, keeping his face carefully blank. Tears glistened in the big aliens eyes.

    ?You said that they would not attack. You said that they were too far away to reach us tonight, and to give you one more day to get a hold of them and settle this.? Lusan said, his voice rough.

    Qui-Gon winced. He HAD thought that the Southern tribe was more than a 30-hour track away! They must have split up, he realized. That must have been only part of the tribe. He bit his lip. If so, it was no wonder the Northern tribe was frightened! The Southern tribe must be?almost 5 times there size!

    Lasun leaned forward, not bothering to conceal his emotion. ?My wife and children were sleeping when they came, Jinn. My beautiful wife and two babies?.gone. Murdered in their beds!? Lasun fairly screamed at him.

    The leader of the Northern tribe stepped back almost sadly. ?I thought we could trust you, but you are obviously partial to the Jera.? Jera was the Southern tribe?s title. ?You must pay f
  2. toxikhiro Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 2002
    star 2
    Nooo!!! Obi-Wan, dead?
    *sob* Noooo!



    This was *sniff* really good. But, where do you go from here? My fav. character is dead now. Qui-Gon BETTER get revenge! *sniff* KILL THE BASTARDS!! Kill them all.
  3. FELICIA_ZEZILI Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2001
    star 3
    That was sad, but I loved it! I need counseling i know. Glad you finally decided to post this it was well written with lots of emotion and I think portrayed the characters very well.

    Felicia Z.
  4. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    Did I forget to mention that this was a short, and that was the end?

    *cringes and runs to hide*

    Thank you both.
  5. sheleigh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 31, 2002
    star 4
    Obi's dead?!! :_| Oh man... you forgot the tissue warning....

    Loved it, Jacinta, even if it was incredibly depressing!
  6. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    sheleigh- I DID say it was sad, but you're right, I forgot the tissue warning.

    I'm glad you liked it!
  7. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    It was a beautiful story ...but...NOOOOO
  8. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    I'm in denial, Jacinta . Otherwise, it was a great, emotionally-stirring piece, and very well written.
  9. TheFallen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2001
    star 4
    :eek:

    Will.. not...

    [face_plain]

    :(

    Must not..

    :_|

    OH THAT WAS SO WONDERFUL!! I loved it, and yet it was so sad.
  10. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    :_| :_| :_|

    Man that was beautiful!!

    I guess it would be pointless to ask for more when it's the end huh?

  11. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    Kit- I understand. Thank you, though!

    Cascadia- Denial? [face_shocked] Wow....Thank you!

    TheFallen- Aw...here. *hands over a tissu* Thanks.

    Arwen- Thanks! I suppose it would be.....Maybe someday I'll write more, or a sequel....I dunno. Anyway, I have to finish my other stories right now first. Maybe afterwards.
  12. OBI_JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2001
    star 4
    That was so sad.

    Sorry it took me so long getting here.

    Obi..........dead........

    NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    *runs out thread crying*
  13. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    Awwww....OJ!!!! Come back!!! Here, have a tissue and some chocolate...
  14. SilentJediWriter Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2002
    star 1
    Y-y-you killed Obi-Wan! You did a great job with it too! Anyway, I loved it. It was...(I can't think of a better word, so...) sad, but well done. Good job. :)

    Nebula
  15. Nat Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2002
    star 4
    Wonderfully written, but so sad!! :_| Poor Obi-Wan! Why does he have to be so brave and noble? :( :_|

    You know, this mention of Obi's age kinda shook me, I will be 21 in ten days, so it makes it all so much more realistic to me...

    Excellent job!
  16. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    You...you...you! You mentioned that you would write a fic about Obi dying once... I didn't think that you would so soon! :eek:

    Holy Force, that was so sad! Not my Obi! :_|

    *Falls to the ground, sobbing hysterically*

    KenobisGirl :(

    Oh yeah, I LOVED IT! :D [face_devil]
  17. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    Thanks, padawan! I appreciate it!

    Nat- Thank you! Whoa, really? Weird.

    Kenobisgirl- He. Yes, I know, I'm awful. It's my sith side showing itself. *whispering* But don't tell Obi. He thinks I'm just practicing writing.

    Thanks all!
  18. Abbi_Cee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2000
    star 4
    sniff... sniff... this was good... sniffle... sob... :_|
  19. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    Aww, thanks Abbi....that means a lot.
  20. JediClare Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    Jaci, that was so wonderful :_| in a twisted kind of way :_|

    (Sequel, please? About the funeral?)
  21. Obi the Kid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2000
    star 4
    Okay, THIS was the wrong story to read first thing in the morning at work. This is SO sad, but a very beautiful story. Wonderful job!!!!!


    Obi
  22. Enigma_Jade Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2001
    star 2
    [face_shocked]

    What. . .when. . .wha???. . .aw, screw it! :_| JACINTA!!
    Where was that tissue warning???????

    Wonderful story, short though it was. Are you sure there won't be a little more of this?? ::begs:: Please?

    ::sniff sniff::

    Great job!

    EJ
  23. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    Clare- Thanks. Yes, I am very twisted. ALRIGHT! Fine, I give up. Yes, I'll write a sequel...you guys are never happy, you know? and you do know that by all rights I SHOULD be writing a post for my other story, DON'T YOU? 8-}

    OtK- Oh man, I believe it. Did you get any weird looks? :D

    Enigma-It didn't have one...sorry, I didn't think it was that moving. I thought it was sad, but not quite as sad as that. Alright, yes, but no getting mad at me when I don't post on Enemies of the Past, alright?
  24. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Sequel?! Can we bring Obi back.I don't do death well.I have yet to admit QGJ died in Phantom Menace.But I agree with the other readers beautifully done.

    PEACE Ewen
  25. Enigma_Jade Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2001
    star 2
    YAY! A sequel!!! :D :D My life has meaning again! LOL.

    I can't wait! But I may sacrifice a posting on EotP. . .Hmm. . .that's a difficult descision! I vote sequel and post!

    Will you post the next part here, or on a different thread??? :confused:

    EJ
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.