Before - Legends Same Time Next Year--the official thread for all Qui-Gon/Noela stories--Updated 1/30

Amazingly appealing!

What you have created is a very rich and full OC, with hopes and dreams. You both have very differing styles, which must be a challenge to balance.

I am most inclined to agree with RK_Striker; even though a look alike Liam is an interesting answer to what I am seeing as the dilemma can be from the accompanying fiction Love Qui-Gon, part of me wants Noela to be able to be with her Jedi.

I plan on making an entry on those sweet communications. As I go back and forth between these threads, however I see one of you is more of a pragmatic writer, and the other is a more romantic one. I can practically feel the deep emotion {and dare I say sexy?} that holds this canon character, Qui-Gon and your OC Noela together with Noelie's posts, and yet the intellectual reasons with DarthIshtar.

I might add I like a vital, passionate Qui-Gon best, but it is good to include the more dispassionate consideration of feelings.

 

RoseofRomance--Thanks, rose! The OC creation has been a mixed joy and frustration. It's because we are trying to get it to be both believable and human. A surprising amount of people are quiela shippers. Hope you do head over to LQG soon. Yeah, Noelie's a hardcore romantic at times. Sexy emotion?! I like vital, passionate Qui, too.

 

For a long moment, Obi-Wan could only stare. It probably wasn't very polite, but severe shocks tended to render him completely insensible.

Finally, he managed a slight smile and approached his guest in a more genial mood.

"I miss the fuschia," he confessed.

Carmyn managed to look sheepish and even a little rueful as she ran a hand over the tangle of black curls that she had pinned high on her head. "Me, too," she admitted, "but Mum insisted."

He grimaced, then stepped aside to let the Corellian ambassador's only daughter pass. "Bad for her image?" he guessed.

"Bad for mine," she corrected.

Without further comment, she ran an appraising look over the starkly decorated living room. "You boys are in serious need of redecorating."

"Yes," Obi-Wan sighed, acutely aware of the eye-hurting nature of so much off-white paint, "but Master Yoda was not very approving of that Nexu Guillotine poster you sent me."

This time, it was her turn to grimace. "He made you throw it away?"

Without responding, Obi-Wan beckoned her closer and opened the door to his bedroom. The poster in question, one that would induce projectile vomiting in anyone with sense, was given a place of honor over the bed.

Immediately, her hand squeezed his shoulder affectionately. "I knew I liked you for a reason," she commended. "What does your Master think?"

Obi-Wan shrugged, but kept his grin in place. "He went to Ewok Genocide concerts when he was my age and I have the holos to prove it," he explained. "If he ever speaks an evil word about my choice of friends, I'll just use them as blackmail."

She nodded approvingly. "And where is he tonight?"

"Getting ready for his twenty-fifth anniversary of sorts," Obi-Wan sighed.

Before she could ask for a further explanation, he turned a scrutinizing eye on her. "Why is fuschia hair bad for your image?" he inquired. "Half the Senators have stranger grooming habits than that."

"Yes," she agreed glumly, "but none of them have college interviews to go to. I don't suppose the Jedi have something equivalent?"

He shook his head. "We have to prove ourselves in order to be selected as Padawans or knighted, but the Masters tend to prefer that we sweat like gorrnts and make fools of ourselves first."

Carmyn's expression finally brightened. "Now, there's an idea," she reflected. "I've tried conservative, rebellious and even uncomfortable shoes, but never the grunge approach."

He eyed her artistically ripped little black dress and the stiletto boots that reached to somewhere around mid-thigh and shook his head. In addition, she also seemed to have gained two tattoos and a lip ring in her efforts to improve her public image.

"I can't picture you dressing conservative," he commented.

In turn, she gave him a very strange look. "This is conservative, Kenobi," she informed him. "You think it's too much?"

He swallowed a laugh, then shook his head. "It's great," he assured her. "Are you ready to go?"

"I am," she confirmed. "Are we taking my speeder or..."

The door to Qui-Gon's room opened and he rushed out, his robe slung over one shoulder and his eyes glaring at a datapad. "Good evening, Miss Delairs," he muttered in her direction. "Padawan."

"Give our regards to the Senator," Obi-Wan called back.

Qui-Gon paused as if distracted, then shook his head and opened the front door. Then, as if remembering something, he turned back and gave Carmyn a slight smile.

"I miss the fuschia," he informed her.

"Thank you," she grinned. "I'll tell my mother that the Jedi are unanimously against my new look."

He bowed quickly, then left the apartment.

"It's his first year on a date with a married woman," Carmyn recalled. "That's got to change a few things."

"Undoubtedly," Obi-Wan agreed. "Then again, that married woman is still the best friend he's had since the age of fifteen. I think he'll be able to manage."

Without waiting for a response, he proffered an arm. "Shall we?" he offered.

She looked thoughtful. "Do

 

Well thank goodness Qui-Gon is a little less obsessive about attachments than Dooku!

It was rather charming observing the two of them, distracted with his own... distraction...

Now you are going to have to tell what on earth was going on in his mind for his date, since he seemed more "relaxed" the previous year. If anything he should be more relaxed.

But didn't he go with a married woman previous? Or is he already worried about a repeat of having a namesake?


Without further comment, she ran an appraising look over the starkly decorated living room. "You boys are in serious need of redecorating."
You need to seriously write where she does the redecorating!

 

Noelie--Oh, yes, definitely, plus he'd be a major hypocrite if he went after them. LOL, with his own...distraction. He went with a married woman before...but this is his first married Noela. Oh, and I'm definitely writing the redecorating.

 

Darn the fuschia hair is gone.

 

I wrote this instalment for Noelie for her birthday. She shared it with Ish, and here it is.
Happy Birthday Sis.

~~~~


A tall Jedi stood across the byway from Dex's diner. He had found himself wandering this way for something to eat, still feeling mindless and lost. That was when he saw her entering the establishment with her arms full of work and he froze. Of all the luck in the galaxy, she had to be walking in there when he was looking for some companionship from Dex.

He stood there silently wondering why he had to feel the way he did. Full of confusion, doubting himself and his emotion he did not know what to do. He was glad his padawan was not beside him. All he would do is try to encourage him to talk to the woman and try once more to mend the rift between them.

He did not understand why she was so upset, he tried, but the words did not make sense. How could years of friendship end? After a few minutes, he turned away, and started to wander. Meandering in and out of streets, taking transports, not really knowing where he was going or what he was going to do, he found himself outside a building he had frequented often in the past. Maybe he could find some answers here.

He entered the building and with a short wait, he the greeter led him into a small office. He paced up and down, waiting when he heard a soft voice outside the door.

He turned as the small woman entered; she looked like her sister to some extent. She had the same thick hair, the big blue eyes, and the lovely smile, which was missing from her face.

She shut the door and leaned against it.

"Well what can I do for you today Qui-Gon? It has been awhile since you have honored me with your presence."

He looked at his finger holding his excuse forward.
"I have a sliver that is driving me crazy, can you remove it for me, Tani?"

She sighed, "You mean a Jedi like you couldn't figure out how to do this one your own?" she replied as she took his large hand into her small capable fingers. Deftly removing the small fragment in his finger, she applied some ointment on it.

"Okay so what is it you want? I know your healers could have touched that if you did not want to do it yourself. So why come here."

He looked down and then desperately at the women.
"Tell me what to do about Noela. How can I get her to talk to me again?"

She looked at him and folded her arms.

"You can't be serious? You still don't get it?" She said

He looked down. "All I know is I have lost my best friend, someone that I could always talk to."

"What was Tahl to you then, a pastime, something to just play with? I do not think so. You did not think of Noela once the whole time you were with Tahl. What is she to think?"

He could see the flash in Taniâ's eyes; he had never seen her so riled up. He expected some kind of compassion, not this hurt on behalf of her sister.

"Noela and Tahl are not related, he said."

"How can they not be? How can you be so blind? Why is it you never extended your relationship with Noela?" She asked trying to get this man to understand.

"I could not go against the code. I could not love her the way she needed." He replied.

"And what about Tahl? Have you been honest about her?"

"Tahl was different, she understood me, and she understood what it means to be a Jedi?"

Tani rolled her eyes, and leaned forward putting her hands on a small table.

"Qui-Gon, that is it exactly, you gave Tahl what you denied Noela all these years. You gave her your heart and soul. You told Noela that you could not have attachments, and then you turn and give that part of you, that you hid from her to another woman, a Jedi.

She knew you would have relations with other women, she accepted that, but she never expected you to form an attachment with anyone! She did not expect it of herself, but she thought you would be true to your code.

What do you do but break it with someone else, another Jedi, and Noela feels as if she is lacking! She feels that since she is not a Jedi she will

 

Yeah!!! Now you can be the official Tani Chronicler in this whole...... .saga

Great job.

Poor clueless Qui-Gon. I heard some little bird say that Obi-Wan might get his say in all of this too.

Thanks for the B-Day Present!

 

Glad someone is setting him straight in the "extended family." Great job!

 

Noela was sitting up in bed in Tani?s small inpatient clinic that Kavan had brought her to three days earlier after he had finally found her, drawing out the group holding her with promises of wealth. It had been a risk. If Kavan had been hurt, she was certain Ciel would have never forgiven her.

She was still here by virtue of the fact that Tani wasn?t sure why she was still experiencing random moments of overwhelming pain, but she hoped to be home that very night. Still she was relieved to find that while they were still happening, it was lessening in intensity. It was certainly a far better fate than the young Siri Tachi that had accompanied her instead of Qui-Gon.

He still hadn?t answered the message she had sent through Tani. When she could get enough energy, she planned on telling him what she felt about his following after that hot-house flower of an excuse for a Jedi Master.

Kriff, the last thing I need to do is go off about Tahl. That never goes well.

The door opened interrupting her reverie and Tani came in. ?How are you feeling this morning? The night staff said you had slept better last night.?

?I did sleep better Tani. And since that takes care of the official stuff, can you tell me what is going on in the galaxy out there or better yet if that errant Jedi has finally answered my message?? Noela shook off the uncomfortable feeling that she had several times during the last several days that they were all keeping a secret from her.

?Well actually you have a visitor.? Tani murmured.

?Qui-Gon?? Noela asked hopefully, knowing in that moment she would forgive him for not being there, and would willingly bite off her tongue rather than mention? well her.

?No but I think you will be pleased to see this person, and he said he would answer any questions you wish to ask.?

Noela craned her neck curiously toward the door, wondering just who would have come.

She expected almost anyone but the small green figure floating through the door. That it was Master Yoda was an immense honor for all that they had been friendly through the years.

She held out her hands, biting back the hiss of pain from the movement. ?Master Yoda, how good of you to come!?

He reached for her hand warmly between the two of his as he moved the repulsorchair near her to settle gracefully down with a gentle plop.

?Senator Ovorp. Good it is to see you back with us safe again. Worry we did for those weeks.?

Weeks? It was frightening when someone reminded her that she had lost memories of a good deal of that time, and would be unlikely to get them back.

?It was a hard time. Master Yoda, I am so sorry. She was a fine padawan. So much promise ahead of her.?

?Your fault it was not.?

?I?m still sorry. I should have seen the trouble. Everything felt wrong.?

The small Master nodded, ?Sensitive you have always been. For this reason I have come. Explanation of other events you need.?

She frowned, warning bells going off. Her breathing became labored. ?I don?t think, I?m not ready to hear this.? She stuttered weakly.

?Hear it you must.? His insistence was still tinged with the deep sadness of one that knew the devastation he was about to wreck.

?Qui-Gon?is he?? Her voice was low, certain that the worst she could face would be death.

?In body well enough he is.? He quickly put to rest that fear. ?Still strength you need to this understand.? He patted her hand gently. Her stomach somersaulted with a sickening lurch, the bells now a grating clatter in her head louder than before.

Slowly inexorably he told the tale, of Qui-Gon and Tahl declaring their love, forming the forbidden bond; sure they could convince the Jedi and others to accept. He explained further of Tahl?s death, and Qui-Gon again skirting the dark side he had danced with after Xanatos.

He continued on through the tragedy, noting the council of Judgment that Qui-Gon was facing, his future not certain, which of course would effect Obi-Wan. They wished her to testify.

?I see. What side would I represent?? H

 

Awwww...not a good way to find out, even with Yoda breaking the news.

 

Okay sorry to overwhelm you all with two posts back to back like this, but finally I caught a bit of a muse and a couple of ideas that were in the back of my rather flakey brain finally took shape.

Ish: yup, poor Yoda. The bearer of such news is never a fun thing to be, but he is the only real choice. Just remember he has his own ways of needling the guilty...hehe.


~~~~

Qui-Gon was fuming. He made half-hearted attempts to repeat the code, interspersed with insults to that little green sith pretending to be a renowned Jedi Master. He ignored the scene through the open security field of the two in the room beyond, oblivious to everything but their passion.

He had taken this watch duty assigned for what it was-further penance for his actions concerning Tahl. He knew the full dossier on Cömte Stefan Ferson. The man?s system was a bounty of wealth, his peoples happy and prosperous. Not separatist in nature, they had still seen the Republic as old as it was, as a possible danger to their sovereignty. The talks were further negotiation to add them to the venerable body.

The Cömte was second in line to the throne, his sister the Queen. He was educated, handsome and brilliant, and it was known he had an eye for beauty. His world allowed for more than just a wife, although it was believed he personally felt to settle with only the one woman. Until he found the perfect lady for the exalted position, he was keeping his options open. Beyond that he was the best example of the natural talent of his people. He was an empath.

All of that was understandable to Qui-Gon. That was until this moment when his watch for the next several hours was this walkway and only this walkway. And that would have also been acceptable, but the Cömte?s companion was Noela.

~~~

It had began simply enough. Master Yoda, Obi-Wan and he were there as representatives of the Jedi temple and overseer?s of the security of the talks. There had been a bit of a diplomatic incident a couple of years back concerning the Jedi, but Master Yoda said he was concerning himself with that detail. It was on the edges of Qui-Gon?s memory that Tahl had spent sometime on the planet a few years ago.

Noela was present as a senior senator of one of the oldest and respected worlds in the republic. In short the perfect example of what it was they hoped that Dæsdwen would be as an addition to republic.

She had taken a seat at the far end of the long table from the Cömte, and although she had been subdued and quiet, almost diffident the man had noticed her and had caused a ruckus to change the seating so that Noela was near him.

She had shyly responded to his notice of every little action she had taken, his approval of suggestions she had made. In a matter of moments he accomplished what others had tried for months. In short, Noela came out of her shell and again glowed with the happy warmth of her natural spirit. Yoda nodded in approval, Obi-Wan smiled in relief, and Qui-Gon was left knowing he was the only one that didn?t like it at all.

She had looked exquisite at the formal ball that celebrated the end of this situation and looked forward to the talks that were expected on the Cömte?s home world. In a gown of a rich wine shimmersilk and her hair gleaming in the sparkle of old-time chandeliers, the Cömte was not the only man enchanted.

Still Qui-Gon thought nothing of it that Noela and he left early. Stefan Ferson had an early flight back to his home and Noela was ?well, Noela.

Still the evidence of his ignorance was just beyond the majestic windows where he would not look, both of them now at peace sleeping in each other?s arms.

~~~
The rush of angry emotion had kept him from the few hours of sleep he had been granted in his schedule. His next task given by Yoda was to meet with the Cömte. He had dreaded this moment since last night, the picture of Noela?s head resting on Stefan Ferson?s shoulder in the relaxation of sleep something he was unable to dispel from his mind.

How dare she do this, possibly endangering the t

 

Very interesting last couple of updates. I feel so bad that there is the rift between Noela and Qui-Gon. Stupid Tahl.

School is still going well for me. I'm staying insanely busy.

 

so what happened that Noela lost her memory?

I liked your thinking of Qui-Gon calling Yoda a little green sith! Those were very good and very intersting updates sis. I like the way you are showing Noela going on with her life and helping those she does care about even in the midst of feeling such betrayl.

 

Princess: yeah, it about broke my heart too .... just remember it must all work out somehow!

Araxie: Well Ish had questions about that too. I probably should fix that, because it wasn't so much that she lost memories but more that one day bled into the next till she had no idea how long she was held.

Yes she does pretty much have to go on with life. She will probably have mixed feelings about t his episode but that would be important to explore too.

 

Ooh, interesting and great.

 

I can't believe I haven't posted here in so long! I'm so sorry!

Anyway, these stories are continuing to be wonderful.

?That I won?t let many more days go by before I wake up every morning with your sister, for the rest of my life. Is that enough??

?Yes, Liam. I think you might have passed the test.?

Awww! Nice chat between Liam and Mere.

I liked the cave story...especially Noela knocking out that guy with the rock.

His kiss was perfect, the contact of skin a balm to a hurt heart. He eased back from the caress, touching the soft skin of her face with his fingers.

So beautifully written! I feel all warm and fuzzy now.

Interesting, and sad, situation with Qui-Gon and Noela's falling-out due to Tahl. I hope they make up soon!

Wonderful updates, Noelie, Araxie, and Ish!

 

The red carpet was bad enough. After all, Noela was bashful when in the spotlight for reasons that he would probably never understand. They were even attending this event on her homeworld and she still seemed to be in a hurry to get inside. It was probably due to the fact that she didn't like to be ogled.

Liam had unhelpfully pointed out that someone who didn't want to be admired for her beauty shouldn't wear a dress that only enhanced it, but that was the reason that two of his ribs were aching sharply right now.

It wasn't his fault that she looked stunning enough to catch the attention of every holoshill who had come to the Aldera Circle Awards. Her champagne-colored satin dress was form-fitting to say the least, though she had foregone the midriff-baring kind and claimed she didn't want to talk about why. The sweetheart neckline was fairly low-cut and the thick straps that crossed in the back were more decorative than supportive. She had left her hair down for once, but even that was curling rather suggestively over her shoulders.

She was practically cowering every time a holocam swung her way, but she was doing it beautifully. The least he could do was reward her for her elegance by getting her inside.

So, instead of leaving her to be interrogated on the red carpet, Liam stayed by her side and offered a gallant arm. "Milady," he greeted, "may I escort you inside?"

"You may," she said in kind.

They were nearly to the entrance of the theater when she finally spoke again, pulling him closer out of sheer nervousness.

"Next year," she said quietly, "I'm wearing one of those old Alderaanian gowns."

"I thought this was an Alderaanian gown," he mused, glancing at her in puzzlement.

"It is," she agreed as she stepped across the threshhold to the theater, "but I mean the old Alderaanian gowns. The ones that were used to encourage our adherance to the Holy Law of Chastity."

He grinned. "The one that covered everything except your eyes?"

"Exactly!"

He leaned in to kiss her behind the ear, making sure that her face was too red for the holocams to wash her out. "I'm not sure I'd approve of that," he said quietly.

"Yes," she laughed, "but who said that you had any say in the matter?"

As a matter of fact, he rather hoped that she would let him decide where she would be next year, but that depended on a lot of factors. Many of them involved his ability to not make a complete fool of himself tonight.

The problem was, he was so nervous that it was hard to tell if he'd be able to remember his own name, much less what they were doing here. He could remember that he was up for several awards this time around and that the optimistic flimsiplast with his acceptance speech was in his left breast pocket, but he could not, for the life of him, remember what he had written on that flimsiplast.

Those weren't the words that would count tonight. They weren't the reason that his knees knocked every time he stood still and his palms sweated so badly that he couldn't hold her hand.

He had much more important things to worry about than whether he won or lost. It wasn't his fault. It was hers for looking so perfect and for being so...

Oh, there he was going again. If he was this incoherent when the time came, he'd be doomed. He wasn't even sure that he could get the words out.

"Are you all right?"

Noela was looking at him with a kind of bemused concern that looked good only on her. He managed a shaky smile.

"Just nervous, I guess," he said honestly.

That explained enough without giving her the details.

"You'll do great," she insisted. "You've earned every one of those nominations, whether they give you the award or not."

There was a kind of truth in what she said, but she had addressed none of the concerns that he really had. He couldn't tell her about those, though, not yet.

"You're an optimist," he accused with a small smile.

"I try," she replied with a matching smile.

Without further comment, they headed to their seats.

His

 

That was such a sweet proposal. In a fitting place also! I loved it.

 

very sweet. I loved reading every bit of it, and talk about making me smile! Forget the award, he just got the biggest one in the world.

 

This..is for Ish

She should know why! It came from a fun chat with RK_Striker, and the little bit of inspiration of a scene in Gun Shy.

~~~

Liam leaned back in the deep tub and sighed in pure bliss. As a general rule he wasn?t a huge fan of bathing as opposed to a shower, but a man could get use to this. It was that first fight-naked-as-the-day-he-was-born with the woman he loved that began to clue him into just what the feminine side of the equation might see in it.

They had been married twelve hours and 26 minutes, and while he knew that wasn?t the best time frame to gauge how well a marriage would hold for the long term, at this juncture he would never go back to the single life.

Said wife was up behind his head wearing that little slip of fetching robe, and reaching into the water to work the knots out of his back.

?Noe where did you learn to do that?? the moan was heartfelt and deep. Somehow she found every kink, almost as if she was reading his mind.

?Fang took a course on homeopathic treatments that semester we lived together. I was her frequent practice dummy.? Noela responded in her semi-absent manner as she was trying to concentrate on the next tired spot.

?That means I don?t really want to know who you practiced on before this doesn?t it?"

?Well we could just stick with the story that you are my first victim and leave it at that.? He shivered as she quit concentrating on his back muscles and pressed a kiss to the shell if his ear.

?Watch it woman, that sort of thing will get you into trouble.?

There was a matching nibble to the other ear as she replied, ?Well we are in the right room for a fight I suppose.?

Liam laughed as he moved quickly to pull his wife onto his lap, robe and all. ?Pressing unfair advantage against a weaker opponent now are you Mr. Senoe?? She playfully pouted.

?Yes,? he replied simply, everything else forgotten in the joy of looking into the face of the woman that was now his wife. ?You were so beautiful at the wedding,? he murmured quietly, as his eyes took in the joy of the vision and his hands smoothed back the soft hair from her face.

?I think you might have mentioned that a few times, although I have to admit that I don?t mind hearing it again. It does bring up that one disturbing thing though.?

?What is that?? He questioned back with a slight frown.

?That there are time I am sure you are crazy and blind.?

?I am neither,? he protested.

?Let?s see if you think that same thing when we wake up in the morning.? She gasped as Liam stood up and got out of the tub, scooping her up and divesting her of the soaking robe while wrapping her in a towel. He had her back in his arms within seconds.

?Well wife I am taking that as an invitation to move this party to the next room. Morning will be here all too soon with what I have in mind for the moment.?

She only pressed her face into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck in response.

~~~~~

His dreams had been sweet, full of memories of her gentle caresses and whispered words of love.

Sweeter still was waking up beside his wife.

He had read that couples that are really in love spend a good portion of their sleep time in each other?s arms. He awoke with his arm around her with her head on his chest, and her leg thrown gently over his. He slipped his other arm so he could just prop his face to watch hers in the low light of their cruiser cabin.

Space was cold, but his night had found the perfect expression of warmth.

As if she knew he was awake and watching, her hand went up to rub slightly at her eyes. ?Good morning,? she said the words muffled by the yawn she tried to stifle.

?Good morning sweetheart,? he returned. His heart was full of love he never thought to have for another person, and for the moment it was taking all coherent thought away.

She sat up, holding a few of the coverings from the bed in front of her in a manner so modest after a night that revealed a deeply passionate side to her nature that he smiled.

He tra

 

Oh, now I'm going to have good dreams. That was so sweet and appropriately mushy.

 

You must have learned from reading Lynn Kurland, you are doing mush as well as the best of them out there!

 

Well.. not mush this time, but going back in time to explain other things that have happened. Angst would be this adventure, and clearly this is my personal take on what the separate feelings are of Qui-Gon and Noela.

~~~~

"Thank you for allowing me to come."

Noela flashed Qui-Gon a politely vague smile in response.

He was ready to accept any bone she threw him, and so he returned the expression with a warmer smile of his own.

She sat abruptly in the large repulsorchair she favored and indicated he should sit on the nearby couch.

The silence that descended between them lasted long enough to become awkward.

"I forgot I have some julaberry slush chilling in my refrigeration unit. I meant to have it out. Let me get." She jumped up in a manner reminiscent of her teens and not the learned elegance of her extensive training.

"It's alright J'm. We can get it later." He demurred, hoping his confidence that they could fix this mess would be evident enough to calm her obvious discomfort.

"No. I meant to have it here for you. I won't be long." She stammered, distracted depression oozing in her tones to deflate his hopes somewhat.

He didn't know of anyway of helping her past this. He had heard the rumors. She had lost her confidence and her edge when she was kept hostage. Her written work was excellent as ever. It was her personal appearances that had many fear the old Noela would never return with all the stress of captivity and the physical damage she had sustained.

He knew better. She would have rebounded if that were all that had happened during that time. He should have been there and he wasn't.

He had been on New Epsilon, having the very tryst his old Master had accused him of having with Noela so many times.

Noela returned placing the serving platter with the pitcher, a plate of Esther's special cookies and one glass. She didn't even mean to share with him. He had been reduced to a guest, treated with respect and dignity, but all her warmth diminished.

Unbidden he thought of Master Dooku's descriptions of Noela's 'light going out' whenever Tahl was around when they were young.

Tahl would never be again, and yet the light was just as diminished as if she were sitting right here. There was one awful, yet all too brief instance during the Comte Stefan Ferson. Qui-Gon knew his own desperation when he had to admit he would have accepted the short affair on a permanent basis if her joy of life had just returned because of it.

He accepted the glass of juice he was given, noting her hands were shaking. His j'm was responding to him as if he were a stranger, and one that was causing her distress. He never wanted that.

He had lost her trust and her friendship. It was up to him to earn it back.

"You are well now?"

He laughed at himself. Their history was crashing around them, and the best he could come up with was small talk.

"For the most part, yes. I have good healers." she needlessly explained. The absent, polite smile had returned.

His frustration finally got the better of him.

"J'm I am sorry I wasn't there. I am sorry that hurt you. I would do anything to fix it." He hated begging, but he would beg.

The only immediate response he got was the confused wrinkling of her brow and a frown that clearly explained she didn't understand.

"I wish you wouldn't call me that. I don't know what it means. I never did, but I know it isn't correct."

It was his turn to feel confusion. It was her name, the one gave her. It told her everyday when he couldn't just what it was that he felt.

He was aware of his halting attempts to tell her now, starting with that word, the A word.

She stopped him with a gentle finger touched to his mouth.

"Don't." her smile was the most warm and gentle it had been. "Chess is helping me understand."

She took a deep breath before continuing, seeming to slow her words, thinking about the meaning of each one.

"The problem is not yours. You were ever honest and straightforward with me. You are mistaken if you think my refusal to

 

Fantastic. You know how touched/traumatized I was by this particular one just because it's so accurate.