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Saga Sanctuary of Time (Obi-Wan, Anakin, Jaina, Ben) A/N 2/28

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by AngelofDarkness, Jan 7, 2005.

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  1. Koori

    Koori Jedi Youngling star 3

    Dec 3, 2004
    Very interesting beginning. You don't see a lot of time travel stories that involve Jaina. The action is a great reader grab. I'll definatly be keeping up with this one. Can't wait to see how Anakin and Obi-Wan react.
  2. Jedi-Jaina-Solo-Fel

    Jedi-Jaina-Solo-Fel Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 27, 2002
    Poor Danni and the others :( I hope Jaina and Ben don't wind up smack in the middle of another bad situation when they arrive in the past, yeesh.
  3. Kinwon

    Kinwon Jedi Youngling star 1

    Oct 23, 2004
    This looks like it will be just as entertaining as your other fic, Angel. I'll be keeping an eye on it.
  4. Jedi-Princess-Solo

    Jedi-Princess-Solo Jedi Master star 4

    Apr 24, 2002
    You didn't tell me you'd started posting yet, Rach :p I love the opener, it sets the mood for how bleak the future is, why it's so important that it be changed. I can't wait for more :D

  5. Goddess_Jaya

    Goddess_Jaya Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 24, 2002
    This story looks incredible. This is the second piece of work I'm reading now that's set in an era I don't normally follow. Wow.

    Great descriptions, and I can't wait to see some of those flashbacks. I'm sure they'll clear up a lot of questions.
  6. Lady_Jade

    Lady_Jade Jedi Master star 4

    May 22, 2004
    Wow, this looks great!

    I can't wait to see how a few certain Jedi are going to reacto to this ! :)
  7. AngelofDarkness

    AngelofDarkness Jedi Master star 2

    Aug 25, 2002
    Author replies will go up here later :)

    Enjoy the new post!
  8. AngelofDarkness

    AngelofDarkness Jedi Master star 2

    Aug 25, 2002

    Talhalla Plains, Jarlath: 19 BBY

    A ripple in the Force warned of the incoming detonator with a second to spare.

    "Get down!"

    Throwing himself forward even as he shouted a warning, Anakin Skywalker fell into a diving roll, letting the Force carry him further than his body's momentum would have on its own.

    Instinct told him to stay low to the ground.

    A shrill wail filled the air as the detonator erupted, sending a wave of fire, heat and flame careening across the battlefield, swallowing up everything in its path.

    The explosion rang in his ears and molten debris from the Republic hovertanks that had been caught in the blast rained down upon him, hot embers dusting across the Jedi robe which protected his back from the heat and catching on the dark material.

    Rolling onto his back, Anakin smothered out the searing embers before they could inflame.

    "Skywalker?" a familiar voice called.

    "Still in one piece, Master Secura," Anakin assured her, pushing to his feet as the Twi'lek Jedi emerged from the smoke billowing from the skeleton of what was once a hovertank. She was favoring her right leg, he noticed the moment he laid eyes on her, but there wasn't any visible sign of injury so he assumed she'd just twisted it during the explosion. "How about you?"

    "I'll survive," she replied, eyes scanning the horizon for any sign of the enemy droids.

    "How many did we lose?" Anakin asked her, glancing somberly at the charred shell of blackened armor about a dozen yards away.

    "Everyone in the hovertanks," Aayla answered grimly. "Bly is regrouping the ground forces."

    So, Bly had survived, that was a relief.

    During the long, relentless months of war, it had become common for the Jedi commanders and generals to develop battlefield partnerships with a handful of the clonetroopers regularly assigned to their command, and Anakin knew that Aayla and Bly had been working together for quite a while now.

    It would have been a pity to lose Bly on this mission.

    "I can't sense the droids out there," Aayla announced, frustrated. "Are you picking up on anything, Anakin?"

    Reaching out with his senses, Anakin probed the area for any hint of danger. There wasn't much point in trying to sense the droids themselves in the Force, but when there were that many battledroids grouped together, all intent on killing you, it wasn't hard to get a general read on the situation.

    "They're pulling back," he concluded after a moment. "Most likely covering Soer's retreat."

    "And keeping their weapons trained on us in case we try to follow, no doubt," Aayla sighed, reaching for the comm-link on her belt. "Kit?"

    There was a burst of static, and then the voice of Kit Fisto crackled in the air.

    "Aayla, we heard the explosion," Kit said without preamble.

    "We lost about three dozen clones," Aayla told him, sensing the unspoken question. "But our ground troops are still mostly in tact."

    "And you are uninjured?"

    "I'm fine," Aayla assured her old friend, a faint trace of a smile gracing her lips. "And you can tell Obi-Wan not to worry, I'm taking good care of his former Padawan- or rather, Anakin is taking good care of me."

    Despite himself, Anakin's lips twitched upward even as he rolled his eyes.

    It had been nearly five months since his Knighting after Praestilyn, but one wouldn't know that the way that Obi-Wan carried on sometimes. His former Master had relaxed some since then, and was even making an effort to view him as an equal and fellow Jedi instead of the apprentice he'd raised from childhood, but at times Anakin wondered if the man would ever be willing, or prepared, to completely let him go.

    A Master's job doesn't end when he cuts the Padawan braid, Obi-Wan was found of spouting irritably these days. You don't have enough sense of self-preservation to worry for yourself, so someone's got to do it.

    Anakin refrained from admitting that someone else was worrying about him enough for them both.

    It didn't matter that he half-suspected that Obi-Wan was aware of his invol
  9. DarthJaina

    DarthJaina Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 25, 2002
    Now that he was out on his own, it seemed that Obi-Wan was relaxing a little and Anakin had high hopes for him yet.

    Maybe one day, he'd even sleep without his lightsaber under his pillow.
    LOL! [face_laugh]

    Great look at the Clone Wars, and I'm asusming Anakin felt his grandkids arriving in the past? That was a great description of the feeling.

    Ben looked around suspiciously, as if he expected a band of Yuuzhan Vong to jump out at them from behind the ruins at any moment, and it made Jaina's heart ache. He'd been born into the war, into the slow death of the galaxy, it was all he'd ever known.

    To Ben, there had never been a time when they weren't running from the Vong.

    He's the real reason for this, Jaina thought sadly, touching a hand to his reddish gold hair tenderly as she indulged in a bit of wistfulness. So that he can grow up in a better galaxy than the one we left behind.

    Better than the one that had claimed the lives of their entire family.

    They come from such a horrible future, this section was just heartbreaking, it showed what a bleak life they've had, and it made my heart break for them both :(
  10. Lady_Jade

    Lady_Jade Jedi Master star 4

    May 22, 2004
    So Ben and Jaina are back in time w/ Obi-Wan and Anakin. Huh, this should become interesting very fast when she runs into them........
  11. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Aug 7, 2002
    Great post! I can't wait until they find "grandpa", that should be a doozy.

    Great writing as always. It felt like I was right there. I'm one of those picky Anakin/Vader fans when it comes to fanfic and your Anakin is as good as your Vader. Great job!
  12. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Dec 15, 1999
    Oh wow! This looks really interesting. Can't wait to see where it goes.
  13. Koori

    Koori Jedi Youngling star 3

    Dec 3, 2004
    Aw, poor Ben. He has to be so confused, and its only going to get worse. But I am looking forward to watching Jaina kick so battle droid butt. Wonderful addition.
  14. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Apr 20, 2000
    Very nice. I really like your Ben. I hope that the twist that Anakin felt was for the good. *fingers crossed*
  15. Trickster_Goddess

    Trickster_Goddess Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jun 26, 2003
    Great post :D Ben is so cute, it's so sad his whole life has been about war and the Vong :( Somehow I think the arrival of the grandkids is going to give Anakin a heart-attack... not to mention throw his secret marriage out in the open :p
  16. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    I have to say, I really like Jaina in this! She seems more like I would have pictured Leia's daughter being than in Canon.

    I found this hilarious for some reason, probably because it's so darn true:

    You don't have enough sense of self-preservation to worry for yourself, so someone's got to do it.

    I think this is a trait all the Skywalkers share.
  17. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 11, 2002
    This is so sad. *cries* Very moving. Write more quickly.
  18. Kinwon

    Kinwon Jedi Youngling star 1

    Oct 23, 2004
    Excellent post. The Clone Wars are still raging, and it was a nice touch to see a glimpse of the fighting, especially with our favorite Jedi in the midst of the fray. It should be interesting when Skywalker Sr. meets the next generation of his family.
  19. jedi-solo-fel

    jedi-solo-fel Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 27, 2002
    This gets betters with each post :D Jaina and Ben have had such a hard life, I feel so bad for them! But Anakin is his usual self, I snickered at the unspoken 'Anakin' at the end of Obi's "don't go looking for a fight" mantra, lol :p He knows his former apprentice too well ;)
  20. JainaSoloSkywalker

    JainaSoloSkywalker Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 12, 2002
    I was wondering how far back they were going, now we know :)

    It looks like Jaina's mission isn't just going to be to prepare the galaxy for the Vong invasion coming a few decades from now, but to save her family as well. Makes me wonder how she's going to fill Anakin in on the bleak future that was awaiting him- ouch, what a blow to strike, he he.
  21. Ana_Labris

    Ana_Labris Jedi Padawan star 4

    Oct 31, 2000
    Excellent writting again!
    I can't wait till they meet Anakin, if they do of course.. it'll be most interesting to see their first reactions.
  22. Solo_and_Fel

    Solo_and_Fel Jedi Master star 3

    Apr 19, 2004
    Somewhere, systems away, something was shifting.
    The Force twisted, bent, convulsed around something abnormal, as if trying to expel it.
    For a long moment, stars stretched beyond their limit, space expanded, and he felt himself being pulled outward and along with the rest of the galaxy as the current changed.
    And then everything snapped back into place, as if nothing had ever happened in the first place.

    That had to be really bizarre for Anakin. I like the description though. I can't be really sure yet, but it seems fitting because hopefully everything is about to change although nothing has changed yet.

    Its probably a big weight for Jaina to know she has to change the future, but having to take care of a five-year old at the same time cannot make it any easier. She couldn't have left Ben behind though. And if anything it looks like he'll be a constant reminder of why this has to be done.

    Oh, and I agree that there is something missing in the Skywalker genes that makes them forget to watch out for themselves sometimes. :)

    This was another great post. I'm looking forward to next time.
  23. Vongchild

    Vongchild Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 2, 2004
    Another great chapter!!!! Brilliant!!!! Me love me love me love more soon???

    "Can I fly?"

    Despite herself, Jaina chuckled. "Maybe next year, Ben," she replied, ruffling his reddish gold hair. "Little boys aren't supposed to pilot starships."

    "Five's not little," Ben said with a little scowl.

    I seem to remember something like this in the movie Titan AE

    "Can I drive?" -Cale

    "When you're older, kid." -Korso

    "I'm older than four!" -Cale

    Yeah! That was the line!
  24. ViariSkywalker

    ViariSkywalker Jedi Master star 4

    Aug 9, 2002
    Wow. What else can I say? I am hooked. I haven't read any new stories lately, and I've been on the lookout for a good AU. The time travel twist has been used in many a fanfic and might seem cliché, but you employ it with such expertise that I don't think anyone can help being pulled into this story. The passages with Ben and Jaina are bittersweet, painful, and chilling.

    Most nights, she went into a Jedi trance instead of sleeping, so that the screams would not linger in her ears.

    That sent shivers up and down my spine. Such a short detail, and yet it revealed so much about Jaina and the circumstances she and Ben are in. She's a hardened young woman, similar to Leia in the OT, but far more battle-weary and bitter. I can't say for sure yet, but I doubt her first meeting with her grandfather will be the most pleasant affair. She's going back in time to save the future and her family, and she means business.

    As for Anakin and Obi-Wan and all the other characters so far, I must say the characterizations and dialogue are right on. Anakin is my favorite character, and if you've nailed his characterization, then you've won my respect and praise. (Okay, so I'm not always that shallow, but hey, writing Anakin well definately helps. ;) )

    Bringing us right into the action in the Clone Wars was perfect. It keeps right with the Star Wars tradition of beginning in the middle of the action. I love it, I love it, I love it!

    Eagerly awaiting the next post!

  25. Sword-of_the-Jedi

    Sword-of_the-Jedi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jun 26, 2003
    Wow, what a post :D The opening bit with the wars was great, you write Anakin very well, and I snickered at the fact that no Skywalker has self-preservation skills :p But it was the part w/ Jaina and Ben that really tugged at my heart... they've been through so much, poor things :(
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