Saga Sands of Failure (Obi-Wan vignette)

Title: Sands of Failure
Author: Aunecah_Skywalker
Timeframe: Post-AotC
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi
Genre: Angst
Keywords: vignette
Summary: A little introspective vignette ? Obi-Wan's thoughts on Anakin.
Notes: Well, this is another attempt at writing a first-person vignette. Do tell me what you think.

Aunecah

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In retrospect, there is nothing more cruel than trust.

I didn't think I was capable of trusting anyone after Master. More than ten standards had passed away with the sands of time since that fateful day in the Council chamber when Master cast me aside because he found out that he wanted (and had the chance) to train somebody who had much more potential than me.

My Master is my life. I love him as if he were my own father, and now that I think about it, I probably wouldn't even have loved Father this much. That didn't make me blind to his faults. It just made me try to twist his weaknesses into my own, find a way to put the blame on my shoulders instead of his. A lot of times, it was rather easy to convince myself that I was an unworthy apprentice ? because I was an unworthy apprentice. Other times, it was not so easy to ignore that nagging voice in the back of my mind.

When I found Anakin,

again,

in the wryly-named Bloody Fist, a gambling arena that profited in selling slaves, drugs, and other illegal substances in the black market to the criminals who seem to swarm the Underground like flies, my trust,

and my heart,

was truly broken. Anakin had been beating a Gotal senseless when I had come across him. To his merit, Anakin had gambled for the life of a slave, and the Gotal had lost. That didn't mean, however, like I tried to explain to Anakin as he slammed the door shut in my face, that Anakin could continue pounding the blood out of him even when the Gotal was already unconscious, unable to defend himself, and completely harmless at the moment.

A shadow fell across me, breaking into my musings with little cermony. I looked up to see Depa Billaba. She was a beautiful Chalactan Jedi Knight, one who had been on the Council for nearly twelve years now. She was young, young enough to be my older sister, but she had telepathic skills that rivaled anybody's that I've ever known. She was,

is,

one of the few Jedi I felt comfortable discussing my Master with, when he had been alive. Now, she became one of my constant Anakin-related nattering companion. Others included Master Windu (Depa's former Master), Master Ki-Adi Mundi, Master Yaddle, and Master Yoda, but most of my Anakin musings predominantly reached Depa's ears.

I was grateful for her support but I didn't want to face her now.

"Your apprentice seems to be missing again, Obi-Wan."

"He's in his room."

"Meditating?"

I gave her an incredulous look. "He hates meditating, Depa. You know it."

"I heard he was in Bloody Fist again," Depa said slowly. "I assumed that you sent him along with the appropriate disciplinary routines."

Shaking my head, I stared down at my dinner. It was late in the night, too late to be eating. The mess hall was all but deserted, housing mostly those of vampirish species who stayed up at night and slept in the morning.

I was, I am, very much a morning person. But when Anakin came along, I found myself staying up later and later at night. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop myself from waking up even before the sun. If Anakin ever noticed, he didn't mention it.

"As if he listens to me anymore."

"As if he listened to you ever."

Her words stung me to my heart, and I looked up at her, almost out of reflex rather than thought.

"You know that's not true, Depa."

Depa put a hand on my shoulder. "You know that's not true, Obi-Wan."

I didn't answer. What answer did I have with me, anyway. I had no answers. Everything I once was had been robbed from me. How very convenient. People carved and took away pieces of my heart as they wished; some were modest in stabbing apart onl

 

Beautiful Aunecah, just beautiful. I can't say anything more, cause that just about sums it up!

 

THAT WAS SO SAD! I LOVED (LOVE) IT! So, that was after AotC? After Anakin turned? Or after he married Padmé? It's confusing but a great story! Plus, it has Obi and Ani in it!

 

Well, well, Aunecah_Skywalker, you've done it again!

I'm a fan of your work and this is lovely. You write well from Obi Wan's point of view.

"Did I give you the passwords to my mind?"

"I hacked into it by mistake."

Original and nicely put...

I can almost see this scene in the movie.

I'm assuming its just after AOTC?

Nice work!

Humaira