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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Sandstorm Celebration (Beru,Owen,Ben, little Luke) *Co-Winner, Winter Fanfic 2003 Challenge *

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by PadmeLeiaJaina, Dec 6, 2003.

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  1. PadmeLeiaJaina

    PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    May 23, 2002
    Disclaimer: I own nothing for SW, making no money on this.

    This is my entry for the Winter Holiday Fanfic Challenge. Next parts will be up next week.

    Enjoy! All comments are welcome! :D

    Sandstorm Celebration

    [image=http://smicketysmom.bravepages.com/sandstorm.jpg]

    (Beautiful cover thanks to Altaira!)


    Part 1

    The candle in the window could be seen in the distance, a beacon of warmth and welcome to the weary travelers.

    At least that was what she had hoped. The plain-looking, tanned woman anxiously stared out of the darkened window across the stormy Tatooine desert floor as the pair of solitary headlamps grew closer and closer to her homestead. The fact that they appeared to be on a direct intersect course for her property must have meant that through the blinding squalls of sand that blasted against her home, their visitors had seen her light.

    Just down the hall, her husband pulled a blaster rifle out of its lockbox and verified its loaded charge.

    Arching a brow in his direction, she asked, ?Is that really necessary??

    Gruffly, he retorted, ?You know we can never be too certain. Tuskens don?t care if there?s a sandstorm brewing or not. They might be out there. Besides, what if it?s not the Guerers? If I?m going out there, I plan on being armed?just in case.?

    Pursing her lips tightly shut, she knew better than anyone as to why he hated and feared the Tusken Raiders so much. She knew better than to argue on that sore subject. However, she highly doubted they needed to worry about being attacked by the fierce nomads this evening, not with a full-blown sandstorm about to kick into high gear.

    ?Who else would it be? We rarely receive visitors as it is,? she reminded him. Noting that her husband?s determined expression refused to waiver, she folded her arms across her chest and added, ?I just believe it?s ill mannered to greet your expectant party while carrying a rifle is all.?

    Boring his cautious blue eyes in her direction, he huffed, ?Yes, well, if they aren?t who we think they are, I?d just prefer to err on the side of caution. Stay inside. I?ll be back in a few minutes.?

    Sighing, she watched him trudge towards their home?s exit. A blast of icy wind roared through the hallways, signaling that he had exited their abode. Gazing back towards the window, she rubbed the squeaking heel of her fist over the frosty duraglass pane and wiped away the condensation that had formed there from her breath. As the headlamps entered their moisture farm?s perimeter her heartbeat quickened in her chest. Anxiously she watched as her husband cautiously walked towards the approaching landspeeder. She witnessed the biting wind cut straight through his many layers of natural clothing, and noted that he had started shivering. Not deterred by the insufferable cold, he shielded his eyes from the glare of the lamps and the gritty sand that pulsated around his body.

    ?Aunt Beru, what?s going on??

    Yelping from fright, Beru Lars?s heart raced in her chest at the unexpected sound of her seven-year old nephew?s voice. Placing a shaking hand over her heart, Beru scolded, ?Don?t sneak up on someone like that, Luke. You nearly frightened me to death!?

    Rubbing his hands vigorously up and down his arms in attempts to generate some warmth, Luke apologized, ?Sorry, I didn?t mean to scare you. Why?s it so cold in here??

    Peering around their modest, home, the flaxen-haired boy noticed that his Aunt had illuminated the entire place with candles. He then noted that the only sound he could hear was that of the howling wind and scratching, blowing sand outside. The usual, reassuring hum of electricity was absent from their house.

    Placing a finger up to still any more of Luke?s questions and peeking out the window, Beru watched as Owen lowered his rifle and swung it casually over his shoulder after talking with the landspeeder?s driver. She breathed a sigh of relief as she watched her neighbors, Truney and Donio Guerer, vacate their transportation device and ope
     
  2. Jedi_Liz

    Jedi_Liz Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 24, 2000
    ooooh, I like! This is really a creative idea. :)
     
  3. Keeper_of_Swords

    Keeper_of_Swords Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2003
    Wahooo. Tatooine...great idea that of Emperor's Day.

    Also very skillfull of you to get the story written with the movie characters.

    Well done!
     
  4. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    This was wonderful. I'm betting the unwelcomed guest is Ben... Great job with the setup and the Emperor's day. Looking forward to reading the rest of this.
     
  5. anidanami124

    anidanami124 Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 24, 2002
    Looks good so far PLJ. :)
     
  6. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003
    Beautiful! I do love stories with little Luke. :) (Then again, I love stories with any Luke...)

    As another reviewer pointed out, the creation of Emperor's Day is very interesting and fitting. Also interesting is the way that the Tatooinians, not caring about the meaning of the holiday, simply use it to celebrate as a secular day of fun, gift exchanging, food and fireworks. Thats a nice blend of some of our own secular traditions and an accurate display of how so many of our holidays lose their traditional meaning and become events of mere fun.

    I can't wait to read the rest, PadmeLeiaJaina! It's off to a wonderful start. :)
     
  7. qingauk

    qingauk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 12, 2002
    this is a very cool idea! It is so off the mainstream of many fanfics. I am looking forward to more.
     
  8. GuerreStellari

    GuerreStellari Jedi Grand Master star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 2003
    Oh yay! I love intertrilogy stories about Tatooine. And, if I'm not mistaken, I believe "you are not welcome here!" is the cue for Obi-Wan's entrance, no? Score! :D
     
  9. diamond_pony2002

    diamond_pony2002 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2002
    GuerreStellar is right! I totally agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  10. RebelScum77

    RebelScum77 Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    Very nice! Interesting topic too. It's a whole side of things that doesn't get explained all too often.

    ?After what that man did to our family, the only celebration we will ever participate in for that tyrant is for his funeral!?

    There were some great lines, I think that was my favorite :D
     
  11. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    Great idea. I love Little Luke.
     
  12. Altaira

    Altaira Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 11, 2002
    Very nice! :D Everyone already covered working in the holiday that Luke is not allowed to celebrate yet still wants the fun. you?ve captured the innocence and curiosity he would have. Beru?s gentle personality was nice, her burden of knowing the truth and dread of the future.

    You are doing a fantastic job. This flows from one part to another freely touching Luke?s history and reasons for keeping it hidden. Owen?s bitterness has me waiting for next week too. :D
     
  13. CrystalKenobi

    CrystalKenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Count me in as a reader for this story.

    I also think I know who the unwelcome visitor is.

    Poor Luke its hard not to be able to do the things that kids your age get to do. But sometimes life is not fair. We don't jump off the bridge just because everyone else does.


     
  14. PadmeLeiaJaina

    PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    May 23, 2002
    Welcome everyone! Thanks for clicking on my story. I'm so excited to see everyone. I don't normally write on this board, so I'm really thrilled to see you all!

    Hopefully, I'll get the next post up on Tuesday- if I can get it written and betaed tomorrow.

    Jedi_Liz

    Woohoo! An old familiar face, glad you liked my idea :D Thanks for stopping by!

    Keeper_of_the_swords

    Tatooine...great idea that of Emperor's Day.

    Thank you. I personally love Tatooine. I usually always end up getting it weasled into my fics somehow. For some reason when I read the challenge I just yearned to write about it. Emperor?s Day seemed like a natural thing that Palpy would?ve done for himself.

    Dianethx

    I'm betting the unwelcomed guest is Ben... Great job with the setup and the Emperor's day. Looking forward to reading the rest of this.

    Hee hee- well you?ll see in the next post (whenever I get it up) who the unwelcome visitor is? but considering his names in my title bar- that?s probably a good guess :p

    Welcome!

    Anidan

    Thank you! :D

    Lady_Hermione

    Also interesting is the way that the Tatooinians, not caring about the meaning of the holiday, simply use it to celebrate as a secular day of fun, gift exchanging, food and fireworks. Thats a nice blend of some of our own secular traditions and an accurate display of how so many of our holidays lose their traditional meaning and become events of mere fun.

    You?ve hit the nail on the head for what I was going for w/ the holiday. Everyone around doesn?t care that Palpy is a tyrant- they?re just happy that they have a day off. Course our main characters know better :(

    Glad you?re enjoying it! Thanks for checking in :)

    Qingauk

    It is so off the mainstream of many fanfics.

    I know, god forbid I wander away from my usual EU characters every once in a while :p Glad you?re enjoying!

    GuerreStellari

    I believe "you are not welcome here!" is the cue for Obi-Wan's entrance, no? Score!

    Hee hee

    diamond_pony2002

    Hee hee- (arches brow ?possibly?)

    [face_laugh]

    RebelScum77

    It's a whole side of things that doesn't get explained all too often.

    There are good fics out there w/ Beru and Owen, but not very many. Maybe that?s why I was drawn to them for this short story. Welcome aboard!

    RebelMom

    LOL! I keep wondering, and wondering if you were gonna show up ;)

    Altaira

    Beru?s gentle personality was nice, her burden of knowing the truth and dread of the future.

    I always got the feeling that Beru would?ve told Luke everything if she could- or had the time. She seemed to be ready to let him go and claim his destiny- whereas Owen really didn?t.

    Owen?s bitterness has me waiting for next week too

    Yeah he?s pretty fun to write because he?s so ornery :p

    CrystalKenobi

    Poor Luke its hard not to be able to do the things that kids your age get to do. But sometimes life is not fair. We don't jump off the bridge just because everyone else does.

    Are you a Mom by any chance? That certainly sounded like quite the Mom thing to say :p

    Hee hee hee.
     
  15. CrystalKenobi

    CrystalKenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Are you a Mom by any chance? That certainly sounded like quite the Mom thing to say

    No I'm Aunt who had to use that expression quite abit with my neice and nephew and I do recall hearing it a lot from my mom.
     
  16. Gina

    Gina Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    "Emperor's Day" is such a clever idea!

    Poor Beru. She carries such a burden, trying to protect Luke from the truth about his past so he can be innocent, be a child, as long as possible.

    Can't wait for the next post!
     
  17. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Hee hee- well you?ll see in the next post (whenever I get it up) who the unwelcome visitor is? but considering his names in my title bar- that?s probably a good guess
    LOL....Boy, is my face red! I didn't even see Ben in the title bar!!! I just saw Luke and had to click!
     
  18. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    Great start! Like others have said the Emperor's Day idea works well... And of course Beru would remember Anakin...

    Poor Luke. He has no idea. :( I wonder if years from now he will remember this night and understand.
     
  19. PadmeLeiaJaina

    PadmeLeiaJaina Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    May 23, 2002
    Crystal

    Hee hee- well I just knew that kidlings were involved somehow ;)

    Gina

    Poor Beru. She carries such a burden, trying to protect Luke from the truth about his past so he can be innocent, be a child, as long as possible.

    I always got the impression that Beru knew things were inevitable, rather like Shmi she knew that one day she would have to let go of Luke- that he, like his father - never really belonged to her in the first place.

    Glad you enjoyed!

    Dianethx

    Hee hee- well selective sight is a good thing I guess ;)

    Lex

    And of course Beru would remember Anakin...

    Well it's not like those moisture farmers have gorgeous, heroic Jedi's just showing up on their doorsteps everyday ;) I think it would be safe to say that visitors are rare and Anakin's visit would have left a mark on her.


    Alright all- here's the second of three posts!

    Enjoy!

    *************************************



    Part 2

    Owen?s livid eyes pierced straight into his uninvited guest?s soul. Fists balled against his hips, Owen was not ready to give into this battle without a fight. As he stared at the disheveled man huddled against the far northern wall in his sparsely decorated living room, Owen?s cheeks burned, and his heart thundered in his chest from rage.

    Speaking barely above a whisper, he seethed, ?I warned you never to step foot in my house, again.?

    ?Owen, be reasonable,? Truney Guerer advised. The sturdy, gray-haired neighbor woman reached out a timid hand and pressed it onto his broad shoulder. ?Donio and I found the poor man wandering in the desert. We couldn?t very well leave him out there? not with that sandstorm raging outside. He wouldn?t have survived.?

    ?What were you doing out there, old man?? Owen demanded. ?Why were you coming here??

    Seven years had not been kind to the object of Owen?s rage. Living alone in the arid desert had rapidly aged the former Jedi Master. Ben Kenobi slumped against the cold wall and sighed. Running his fingers through his thinning, gray hair, Ben found himself glad that Anakin?s stepbrother had no Force-abilities. Otherwise, he feared that the moisture farmer would have fried him on the spot from his anger.

    Softly, Ben stated, ?It seemed like a good night for a walk. Apparently, I was wrong.?

    At that moment, a frazzled Beru entered the room. Narrowing her eyes at her husband, she scolded, ?Keep your voice down, Owen Lars. Luke?s trying to sleep.?

    Ignoring his confused neighbors, Owen spat to Beru, ?He must?ve been out there on purpose. He knows that he?s not allowed here.?

    ?I do promise you, Owen, that it was not my intention to come here and interrupt your evening. It was as I said, I was out for a walk and got stuck unexpectedly in the storm,? Ben coolly replied, never lowering his even eyes from Owen?s smoldering glare.

    Swaggering towards the former Jedi Knight, Owen ignored Ben?s thin excuse and demanded, ?I assume you?ll want a bed for the evening, won?t you? Guess what? This isn?t exactly a luxury hotel you?ve been dropped off at. We don?t HAVE a bed for you.?

    ?Well then I guess that settles it. My presence is obviously creating a problem here. I will go. Again, I apologize for disrupting your evening,? he stated. Pulling his hood over his head, Ben made towards the door.

    Outside the wind shrieked in fury. Beru charged across the room and physically barred Ben?s exit with her body. She defiantly planted her fists on her hips. Glaring at her husband, she ordered, ?He?s not going anywhere. He will certainly be killed if he leaves.?

    Under his breath, Owen muttered, ?Could I only hope??

    ?What?? Beru demanded.

    ?Nothing.? Owen studied Ben?s form. Enshrouded in his ancient Jedi robes Ben outwardly looked the same as he did when he arrived on their doorstep over seven years ago. As he stared into the old man?s eyes he couldn?t tell if Ben was lying or not. It all just seemed too convenient that he happened to be delivered on his doorstep.

    Owen jumped as Beru came up to his side an
     
  20. CrystalKenobi

    CrystalKenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2003
    Wow

    Wow

    Wow

    Wow

    Wow


    You did such a good job of describing Obi-wan that I got a clear picture of him in my mind. Tying it in to the scene of ATOC was great also. I could feel Obi-wan's torment from the way you wrote this post. Great characterization and dialogue.



    Again

    Wow

    Congruations on a post well done.


     
  21. RebelScum77

    RebelScum77 Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    He must?otherwise all of their careful planning would?ve been for nothing. He cannot succumb?he cannot become?

    Ben closed his eyes and shuddered out a deep breath.

    His failure. Vader.



    WOW, just wow. :eek: That was amazing! I loved it. :D

    The characterizations were perfect. Ben as outwardly calm but scarred forever on the inside. Kind and gentle Beru, and gruff but loving Owen.

    And brilliant use of Tusken Force memory. It must be unimaginably hard for Ben to be in that room.


    Although it was inanimate, it burned his soul every time his skin came in contact with it. For years he had carried it around as a piece of baggage for his never-ending guilt trip. For as much as Owen hated Ben, he loathed himself thousands of times more.

    I never saw it coming, but what a great idea! And poor Ben, it breaks my heart. But I think that's exactly what his feelings would be had Padme given it to him and he held onto it for so many years.


    Just wondeful PLJ!
     
  22. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    Wonderful job showing Obi's emotions. Poor guy.

    What's he going to do now? *waits patiently*
     
  23. Padlei

    Padlei Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2003
    Wow. That was great! I felt so much for poor Obi Wan... That was so sad :_|
    BTW what did he give to Beru?
     
  24. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    Poor Ben... :( Great exploration of his regret and self-doubt - or even self-hatred.

    The Tusken images burned into the garage was just creepy...

    I liked the interaction between Beru and Ben, the way they look out for Luke behind Owen's back. :p

    I'm also curious to see what the rectangular object is. ;) And if Owen lets Luke keep it.
     
  25. GuerreStellari

    GuerreStellari Jedi Grand Master star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 2003
    Woah, nice one!

    Hurry up with the next post!
     
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