Saga ~ Saving Master Ale~ Another of those very silly thingies; Tiny Intermezzo 10/17

Title: Saving Master Ale
Author: MsLanna
Timeframe: ESB/ANH/RotJ and all at once!
Characters: Users disguied as canon cast (Or was it the other way round?)
Genre: Very silly humour and some action
Summary: Ale's gone. Again. Gotta do something...
Notes: I'm sorry?





Saving Master Ale



Not so long ago, somewhere in America. I guess. That's the disadvantage of not being an omniscient narrator, you don't know everything, but America should pin it down well enough; for now. So time for the scroll text...

In a country far away, FanFicition Master Ale, CorelliHan Ale, has vanished. Leaving his Padawan without a word for over a week, he is found guilty of spawning this fic, and he should have known better. But now it is too late as Leianna is through with fretting and decides to take action. Whoever has kidnapped Ale (probably DRL or DWB, don't we know it already? ) will have to suffer her wrath. Provided she can find him. So let the drama unfold. (Avert yer eyes, children.)

Warning: this story may contain huge amounts of random silliness, very bad puns, and no traces of plot. Sensitive (and sensible) people might find this offensive. It's on purpose, so get out.

Take any random planet with some forest on it, we'll start there. A green gnome was sitting on a bough watching a young woman scribble away madly. For undisclosed reasons, it was wearing a miniature trench coat that bulges suspiciously. No, not there, stupid, more like he's hiding several terraced houses, a hand full of skyscrapers, and a castle or two under the coat, garages included.

Suddenly, the woman gets up, handing the paper to him.

"See Yoda'mus Prime, it's drivel! Horribly bad. Even worse than the story we're in!" She shakes her head in frustration. "I cannot work like this!"

Yoda'mus' eyes cross as he reads through the text. If he hadn't been green already, he might have turned that colour right then. "Not my worst enemy would force I, to read this," he states. "Hopeless, your case is, Leianna."

"I know. That is why I must have CorelliHan Ale back." Leianna started chewing on her lip thus unable to speak on.

"That inspiring he is," Yoda'mus sounded doubtful.

"He can tell 'to' from, 'too' and 'be' from 'bee', and even catches when I say 'epigone' instead of 'epitome'. Or was that the other way round?" She begins to chew on her lip again. "Anyway, he's more than just a beta, he's my Master."

"Your Master he is, told you that he did?" Yoda'mus mused, folding the desecrated paper.

"Yes."

"Official this is?"

"Yes, we announced it in the Creche and all." Lanna scratched her head. "At least, I think we did. I changed my profile there accordingly."

"Official, that sounds." Yoda'mus looked at the origami kamikaze cockroach in his hands, then stuffed it away under his coat. "But help you, I cannot. Never volunteer I did to look after his padawans, if absent he is. Not my responsibility that is."

"But you are my only hope."

"No, there is another." He vanished.

"Another? Another what? Speak in whole sentences, will you? Oh, stang!"

"I think, he meant hope." A voice came from her left.

"Brodiew Wan Kenobi? I thought you were dead!"

"But you think that Yoda'mush is now dead too, so this proves exactly what?" he folded his arms in front of his chest.

"Yoda mush? I have not considered that yet." Leianna's eyes defocused slightly as a host of ideas raced through her mind. "But I don't think it can be done. Not without my Master anyway."

"Listen, Leianna, there comes a time when we have to grow up. Take responsibility into or own hands. You write long enough to do without a Master."

"Just because I can, doesn't mean I want to!" she objected.

"A point there, she has." Yoda'mus head appeared out of a tree trunk.

"I thought you were dead?" Leianna peered at the luminous figure

 

lol nice one Lanna

 

We need a ROFL emoticon.

This was a good story to wake up to.

 

Oh the puns.

Nice start, Lanna.

 

Indexer's Gripe: If you're going to use yellow text, at least highlight it with black or something.

- lazy

 

As you wish, my dear. Though I didn't think any of the yellow stuff was going into the index?

 

Thanks Amanda. I like silly, and it's all Ale's fault anyway.

Good morning Alexis. There's a lot of smileys I miss, but rotfl is a good place to start. Glad you like it.

I have a good teacher for bad puns, Face. just wait until Teh Famed Futon makes his apperance.

lazy - I'd really like to know the answer, if you have a moment to spare some day?

---

Just a bit earlier in another place. Or was it later? You never know with them Aussies. But right now, Lando'n'Plunder did not care at all what time it is; it was definitely not enough! Darth Real Life had arrived shortly before and just taken over his life. It was an outrage. Still there was hope; a member of the OCDB was never on his own.

"So this is the plan," he said indicating his backyard. The place looked as if World War Three had raged there; and number four and five, too, maybe even the sixth. "As you can see, I already prepared the ground."

Chewhiskers looked around doubtfully. The ground looked mostly ready for sowing. "And this is going to help how exactly?" he wanted to know.

"Easy, when DRL sees this, he will believe me as good as beat. And while he gloats, we will strike!"

For a long moment Chewhiskers watched Lando with half expectant dread.

"What?"

"Just waiting for the bad pun."

Lando'n'Pluder rolled his eyes. "Not yet, business comes first. Besides, reducing me to my puns is writist."

"Tell me about it."

"I just did."

"I hear you."

"So you say."

"What about the plan?"

"I need a tag," Lando said.

"What for?"

"It will be important to manoeuvre DRL into position before you fire off the super secret weapon. I will lure him here by pretending to surrender." Taking a big stone, Lando placed it meticulously in the middle of the yard. "All you then have to do is launch the weapon."

Lando lead Chewhi towards a derelict shed next to the yard. As cliché demands, the inside of it harbours a very scientific looking laboratory. Brightly polished white tiles reflect an enormous apparatus that might just have been a weapon. Its surface bristles with gadgets and add-ons, and a huge array of buttons is sprinkled generously all over it.

"Daydreamcaster DeLuxe," Lando say, patting a random flat surface. "My own creation."

"No wonder you don't get around to updating when you spend your time on this -" Chewhi let the sentence trail off. "What is it supposed to do?"

"Easy, you know the effect of blankets on bogey men? When you put the blanket over your own head, they think, you're not there. Put it over their head now - and they think they are not there. So what this does is create a bubble of virtual space and cast is over DRL thus making him question his own reality. That should take some time."

Shaking his head, Chewhi walked around the apparatus.

"All you have to do is press this button," Lando went on.

"Are you sure this thing is safe?" Chewhiskers wanted to know.

"Sure is," Lando'n'Plunder almost huffed. "And we know how to handle virtual reality, right? The worst that could happen would be an old DOS-version."

"Oh, no problem there," whiskers assured. "[hl=black][color=white]I still speak very good DOS[/color][/hl]."

"Good." Lando'n'Plunder grabbed some sheets and a pen. "I'll lure him to the mark now."

Chewhiskers stayed behind, gazing at the monstrous device. At least the business end of it would point at Lando in the end, that made things a lot more convenient. He watched as the other sat down on the marker stone and pretended to write.

It did not take Darth Real Life long to appear. He pushed his slug-like form across the torn ground, seeming to grow out of it as he approached Lando. He grabbed the paper from Lando with a podgy hand.

"Hey, shoota!"

[i]No tag?[/i] Chewiskers was worried. But if it had been the order to shoot -
He pushed the button.
The world went boom.

Only for a short while, though. A wobbling mass of somethingness oozed from the w

 

great update. as funny as ever. great way to start a day out, by reading this.

 

It's not easy!

Now that is skill!

Good update, Lanna! If you don't mind PMing me when you post more, I'd appreciate it.

 

Excellent!

 

Amanda - I love silly. there should be a lot more really silly fics around. Funny SW is the best it gets.

Face - I am happy to find myself not banned. And I hope you don't mind me simply using traits of Mace on you like that.

Thanyk you Vadey.

Just a short bit to ascertain that this is not dead. Not as dead as Ale, that is.

---

"So this is your plan?" Chewhiskers eyed the clubs suspiciously.

Leianna nodded cheerfully. "We go in, club them all to death," she swung her club ignoring the frantic movement around her, "grab CorelliHan and leave. Sound as it gets." Pride rang in her tone.

Lando held his club as if it was something rotten. "I think this plan needs a little more - elegance."

"I am with Lando'n'Plunder on this," Face said. "We should sneak somebody in first to secure the location and gather reliable intel."

"Okay," Leianna collected the clubs again. "Then you and Lando can sneak in. I'll follow with Chewhiskers a bit later. And I am sure the undead will be around to enjoy the show, too."

"Not proper, that denomination is," Yoda'mus interjected. "But there we will be. Not an abundant commodity, fun seems to be in the afterlife."

"Then we are decided." Leianna shoved Lando and Face out of the door. "We'll join you in two days."

"And the plan?" Lando asked again.

"You take the club along, no problem." She handed him a club grinning broadly.

"My kind of plan," Face commented with sarcasm that was totally lost on Leianna as he strode off.

 

We go in, club them all to death

Sometimes a simple plan is the best one.

Short, yes, but a fun little bite!

 

so hard I ...



WAIT!

*waves hand*

This isn't the "ale" you're looking for....

 

club 'em to death

that's something I would come up with when bored. lol

great update

 

That really made my night!

 

A good clubbing is always satisfying to the one doing the clubbering.

Thanks for the great entertainment.