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Before - Legends Scars and Beginnings (Announcement 23 February)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Indra, Jan 17, 2004.

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  1. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Yay! An update! I'm so glad! I'll post a more detailed review--and response to your response :)--at fanfiction.net
     
  2. JediVeloJinn

    JediVeloJinn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 2003
    aaugh!!


    I wish that I'd checked whether you had updated on Tuesday. But with the difference between your time and my time, it could be Wednesday. Oh well. I'll save this post for reading later. Even though I'm not reading it yet, I'm glad that you updated. It gives me something to look forward to.


    Velo
     
  3. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Hurray for the updates-

    sorry but it is too late at night to say anything truly coherent.
     
  4. Indra

    Indra Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2003
    dianethx Glad you still like it. Thanks. :)

    son-of-kenobi Welcome to my story and thanks for the review. :D

    maychorian You'll get a response soon. I promise.

    JediVeloJinn Looking forward to your review as well. You know how much I love your detailed interpretations. They're always something to look forward to.

    PadawanKitara Yay, I'm happy to see you on this thread again. :)



     
  5. Indra

    Indra Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2003
    Here's a new post! You are allowed to hit me any time for being so slow, but keep in mind that it kills braincells and would probably slow me down even more. :p

    Thanks to Shaindl for covering for those braincells and being a great beta. [:D]

    I know this comes late, but I really didn't want to up one of my own threads for it. Congrats to the winners of the Writers Race:

    1. duskwings
    2. Drabbo_Fett
    2. DarthIshtar

    =D= to the three of you and all who participated and wrote such wonderful replys. You're one creative bunch.
    And thanks once again to Kettch_the_Jedi for organising the Race and having such great ideas.

    Now, on with the story. Every review will be cherished immensely. :)


    Chapter 14

    Sleep found Xanatos easily that night. He was dead-tired, but not exhausted in the least. It should be a contradiction, but it wasn?t, because Xanatos knew very well the difference between tiredness and exhaustion. While exhaustion befell his mind every day, tiredness only came to him rarely. Today he was tired and when he sank into his bed, enjoying the sensation of the soft mattress and pillows, he smiled. Maybe it wasn?t so hopeless after all. Maybe all he needed was a purpose again, something to fill his mind so completely that it simply didn?t have space for other thoughts. He fell asleep that night with Obi-Wan breathing evenly in the other bed and his mind completely blank.

    He woke to someone whimpering. Momentarily disoriented, Xanatos listened intently, trying to figure out where the sound came from. Then he came fully awake with a jolt. Obi-Wan. Sitting up in bed, he looked over to the other Padawan, trying to ascertain whether it was a nightmare that had the boy so distressed or if he was awake and trying to suppress his crying.

    ?Obi-Wan??

    It was only a whisper, but if he had been awake, it should have gotten the boy?s attention. It didn?t. Thinking briefly of his vow to let Obi-Wan have his privacy, Xanatos decided that it would probably do him more harm than good in this instance. He crept silently across the room and touched Obi-Wan?s shoulder lightly, hoping to get his attention. What he got was far more than he had expected.

    With a sudden cry, the young boy shot into a sitting position, twisting away from Xanatos and holding his arms protectively above his head. Startled by the violent reaction, Xanatos took a step back from the bed, staring at Obi-Wan. After a few seconds, when no other movement on Obi-Wan?s part followed, he carefully sat down on the edge of the boy?s bed.

    ?Obi-Wan, it?s me. It?s okay. It was only a nightmare.?

    Slowly the arms were lowered and Obi-Wan peered at him with wide, fearful eyes. The fear was replaced by horror as he realised where he was. Gulping hard and sitting up straight in his bed, he looked down at the bedspread. In a small voice, he said, ?I?m sorry for waking you.?

    Xanatos laid a hand on Obi-Wan?s shoulder, but instead of calming the boy, it made him tense up even more. ?Don?t be sorry. Everyone has nightmares sometimes. Are you okay??

    Shy eyes were lifted to his. ?Yes, I am. I?m sorry for worrying you.?

    Xanatos ignored the second apology of the night. ?Should I stay here for a bit?? He wasn?t sure if Obi-Wan was too old for that, but it had helped him every time when his Master had sat with him after a nightmare. Although he remembered that he had always felt slightly foolish the morning afterwards when he could think more clearly.

    ?No, I?m alright.?

    ?Okay. But you know that you can always ask when you need something.?

    The boy was again staring at the sheets. For a moment Xanatos thought Obi-Wan wouldn?t react, but then he said in a whisper, ?Yes, I know. Thank you.?

    ?You?re welcome, Obi-Wan.?

    Xanatos went back to his own bed with that strange feeling in his stomach he always got when he woke up in the middle of the night and everything around him seemed slightly surreal. Trying to distract himself from it, he stared out of the window at the fast moving speeders. He looked at them for a long time before sleep fin
     
  6. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Ohhhhh.

    What a wonderful chapter! Finally the truth comes out. I'm so glad. Yet very sad, too, that such things happened to poor Obi-Wan.

    Very appropriate that it would come out because of Bruck. Hopefully Bruck will find a better way to deal with this than taunting. Obi-Wan doesn't need any more attacks on his sense of self-worth.

    I'm glad Xanatos got fed up and told him what I'm thinking. :D Whether or not it was best way to deal with it psychologically, Xan's reaction was very believable and in character.

    I'm very, very happy that Obi decided to trust him, and that he was finally able to cry. Loved Xan's line there at the end about being able to start over.

    So glad you're continuing this! Keep it up!
     
  7. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Yay an update!! [face_dancing] Thanks so much for continuing this! [:D]

    :( Poor Obi-Wan... Bruck sure isn't the one that he'd want to find out about the scars :( I feel so sad for the kid! At least he has Qui and Xan there to help. He juz needs to fully see that the two want to help.

    I'm glad he's allowing himself to cry! The boy needs to have some closure if only a little. Some release better than none.

    Great chapter!
     
  8. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Of course it would be Bruck. The child has his own issues but Obi-wan should not bear the brunt of them. Poor kid. Unable to understand that it was not his fault and he shouldn't be ashamed of being a victim, he will probably withdraw even more now. Perhaps clinging to Xanatos for support. But he needs someone to understand and accept him unconditionally.

    Great job with the emotions and nuances of this story. Quite lovely.

    Looking forward to more.
     
  9. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    I'm glad you are back with this story. I am now starting to worry more for Xani than Obi-Wan
     
  10. Indra

    Indra Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2003
    maychorian Wait, where did you tell him what you were thinking? :p I'm very glad you still think Xan's behaviour is in character for my version of him. Thanks for always taking the time to review. :)

    Kynstar Thanks. I agree that he desperately needs to talk about what happened. It's the only way to find peace in the end.

    dianethx Thanks so much. :) I'm always glad to see you're still enjoying it. Bruck certainly has his own issues. Now that I've brought him into it, I would really like to go into his character more, but since it wouldn't fit into the story, I'll have to restrain myself. :p

    PadawanKitara Thanks for still reading and putting up with my slow writing. :)
     
  11. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Indra, you already know how much I loved this chapter. Finding a balance between too much mush and not enough is always hard, yet you always manage to do it. I love that Obi-Wan was finally able to open up about what happened with someone.

    I hope he gave Bruck a good pounding too. :p Thanks for putting up with my slow betaing. [:D]
     
  12. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Hehe, well, I told YOU what I was thinking. And I notice that a lot of the exact phrases I used came out of Xan's mouth. That made very happy, and I wanted to hug him.

    And Obi-Wan. I just want to hug that poor kid till he can't take it anymore. (Which wouldn't take long, methinks. Poor dear.)
     
  13. darshaassant

    darshaassant Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2005
    I guess it isn't too late to join the club? :p Loving this story. More! Poor widdle liddle Obi.
     
  14. Indra

    Indra Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2003
    Some author replys so that I won't get hit for upping this.

    Shaindl Thanks! [:D]

    I hope he gave Bruck a good pounding too.
    Now that's not very Jedi-like. [face_shame_on_you] [And I don't even want to know what certain people are thinking now. :p)

    maychorian Let's all hug Obi. :D Thanks for reviewing. :)

    darshaassant It's never too late to join in. :D Welcome and thanks. :)


    And talking about hitting, I don't do it. This is Lurker Appreciation Week, so please delurk and make me happy. :) Post a reply if you've read the story. I'll be eternally grateful. :D

    Here's a button by rhonderoo to grab your attention:

    [image=http://www.rhonderoo.com/together.jpg]


     
  15. VadersMistress

    VadersMistress Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2004
    [face_laugh] Love the pic. It made me laugh and I needed that. :D
     
  16. Indra

    Indra Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2003
    VM At least there was someone, who was paying attention. :D


    Yes, it?s another update. No, you?re not crazy. Well, some of you aren?t. :p I?m speeding up a bit and hope you won?t be scared by it. :D

    Lurker Appreciation Week is over, which of course doesn?t mean that you should hide. Please, if there are any lurkers, drop me a note. I?d love to hear from you. :)



    Chapter 15

    Obi-Wan had been treated and then gone back to Master Jinn?s quarters, and now he sat on his bed, watching the speeders outside while Xanatos was preparing dinner with his Master. He had asked to be alone for a while and the other two had granted it. Obi-Wan was still a bit amazed that he?d had the courage to ask, especially after what had happened today.

    He was confused. He had striven so hard to conceal his injuries, to avoid anyone noticing what his Master had had to do to him. But now that they knew, he felt strangely relieved. With Xanatos?s discovery and his acceptance of it had come a thought he?d never considered: Calan hadn?t had to do these things to him, he had simply done them. Of course, that didn?t mean he could just break down like that. Xanatos had seen him at his worst now and Obi-Wan just hoped that the older Padawan would be as understanding about that as about everything else.

    But whatever awaited him now, for the first time in over a year Obi-Wan had hope again.

    **********************

    Qui-Gon and his Padawan were working silently in the kitchen, the Master glancing sideways at his apprentice from time to time. Xanatos seemed to concentrate completely on the task at hand and Qui-Gon was wondering whether he should start a conversation. They had to talk about what had happened and Qui-Gon knew that if he didn?t start now, he would never get his apprentice to talk.

    ?Obi-Wan seems to be taking it well, all things considered.?

    Not looking at him, Xanatos replied, ?He didn?t when we were alone.?

    Qui-Gon stopped stirring the salad he was making and turned fully towards his apprentice. ?But maybe this was exactly what it took to get through to him. Maybe without wanting to, Bruck even helped Obi-Wan.?

    When no answer was forthcoming, the Master took Xanatos by the shoulder and turned him around, forcing him to look up.

    Xanatos eyes narrowed and his words were defensive. ?Am I supposed to be grateful??

    Qui-Gon was taken aback. He hadn?t realised how deeply the events of the afternoon had affected Xanatos and that, more than anything that had happened, concerned him.
    In a mild voice he said, ?I?m not asking you to be grateful, just to acknowledge the fact.?

    With a sigh, Xanatos turned away again and continued chopping the vegetables. ?Yes, I know.?

    No apology about being short-tempered, but Qui-Gon ignored it, took the plates and went into the common room.

    *********************

    Dinner passed quietly. Qui-Gon made a few attempts at conversation, but Obi-Wan was shy as always and only gave polite, short answers. Xanatos didn?t say anything and just ate his meal with his eyes on his plate.

    After taking the dishes to the kitchen, the older Padawan excused himself and went into his room. Obi-Wan hesitated a moment and then followed. But Qui-Gon had something else in mind and before the boy could close the door, he called, ?I would like to talk to you for a moment, Obi-Wan.?

    The young Padawan tensed up immediately, but turned around obediently and stood facing Qui-Gon.

    The Master smiled at him encouragingly and said, ?Obi-Wan, I know that you?re having a hard time at the moment, but I want you to know that you can always ask me for help whenever you need it.?

    Surprise showed in the boy?s eyes for a moment, but then he smiled shyly and said, ?Thank you, Master Jinn.?

    ?So what would you like to do now??

    ?I?don?t know.? He hesitated again. ?I?m really tired.?

    Qui-Gon didn?t doubt it, although he would have liked to spend a bit of time with the boy. Obi-Wan clung too much to Xanatos at the moment and Qui-Gon feared that he wouldn?t be able to let go if anot
     
  17. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I feel so very bad for Obi-Wan, afraid of everything, even his own feelings. Xanatos is helping but he has his own demons. Plus Obi-Wan is right. Without a Master, he is no longer a Padawan and may never be...

    Great job with this. Keep posting, please!
     
  18. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Poor Obi :( he feels unworthy cuz of his fears and being Masterless. Poor kid...there's somebody for you :) Juz wait and see.

    Great work!
     
  19. darshaassant

    darshaassant Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2005
    POOOR OOOBBBEEEEE!!!!!

    Knight Xan, and make Qui Obi's master!
     
  20. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    hurray- this story is back :)
     
  21. ithesock

    ithesock Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Sigh. I've been lurking on this one. <droops> Forgive me? And let me rule the galaxy? :p

    I really liked the way you've written Obi in this (so very insecure, and with the scars of his doomed apprenticeship. Let me at Calan! Grr...) - Xan too, hovering between light and dark because of what's happened to Obi.

    Great work. =D= More soon? :D
     
  22. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Beautiful chapter! I liked the idea of Qui-Gon having a sabbacc night. :D Even Jedi need to blow off steam. But he's continuing to avoid Xan's problems, which is not good.

    Ach, Xan is just inching closer and closer to his doom, isn't he? He seems completely unable to control his feelings. He has to find a balance somewhere! I'm very glad you're speeding up and we'll see what's going to happen, because everything is entirely up in the air right now. It will be fun to see how it all comes down.

    Obi-Wan was interesting in this chapter. Obviously still confused and frightened, but he's trying to think, trying to figure things out for himself. The last scene really tugged at my heart, though. It's true--he's going to have a hard time being a Jedi while he's afraid of everything. He's going to need a Master who is very patient and gentle, and willing to help him work out all of his fears. But it isn't Obi-Wan's fault at all and he shouldn't lose his chance to be a Jedi because of stupid Calan!

    I liked the Qui/Obi interaction, too. Qui-Gon doesn't know how to deal with the situation, but he's trying. Eventually Obi-Wan will be able to trust him, I hope, and be able to turn to him when things go wrong. Xan is unstable and I'm afraid of what the poor kid's reaction will be if he sees his hero blow up. Do I scent a storm in the wind?

    Great job! Keep it coming!
     
  23. JediVeloJinn

    JediVeloJinn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 2003
    Yiikes!!

    I've missed two updates? Eeek.

    I'm really glad that you've updated. I'll go and read them now.

    Velo
     
  24. salem-aubrey

    salem-aubrey Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Okay, I've been watching this thread for . . . uh . . . as long as it's been up, I guess, and I finally decided to stop sittin' on my lightsaber, an' post a reply! Yay! [face_laugh] :eek:
    I'm lovin' it, Indra. It's gotta be one of the best Xan fics I've come across in a looooog time. Keep it up!!! [face_peace]
     
  25. jacen200015

    jacen200015 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Marking this so i will remember to read it when i have time
     
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