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School Days - A 1st JA fan-fic

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jedi Obi-Wan, Jun 20, 2000.

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  1. Jedi Obi-Wan

    Jedi Obi-Wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2000
  2. ObWanKenobeee

    ObWanKenobeee Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 22, 2000
    I'm here, I'm reading, I'm waiting for the nexxtttt post! :) Please post more! Please Please Please Please Please PLease PLease Please Please Please Please Please Please Please PLease PLease Please Please Please Please Please Please Please PLease PLease Please Please post more. :)
     
  3. Jedi_KnightMariah

    Jedi_KnightMariah Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 6, 2000
    Please post now! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
     
  4. Erin Kenobi

    Erin Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 30, 2000
    Yes, we must have a post! Soon!
     
  5. padawan3

    padawan3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 1999
    I love count downs.
     
  6. Solarya

    Solarya Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Aug 25, 2000
    Hi, Jedi Obi-Wan, I think I'll wait for the whole story to be published on the net, instead. looking at over 80 post is going to make me confused ^_^
    Anway, I already got my story posted on fanfiction.net, it's called Solarya. If you got any comments, please post a review. If there's too many mistake, please tell me the paragraph and the sentence, I'll get it fixed before a week after the post.
    :D
     
  7. Jedi Obi-Wan

    Jedi Obi-Wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2000
    Thanks Sol! (She is my beta reader, if your wondering)
     
  8. padawan3

    padawan3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 1999
    I know this may make me seem stupid but what is a beta reader? I have heard about them but never found out what they are.
     
  9. Solarya

    Solarya Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Aug 25, 2000
    A beta reader is suppose to read your story and point out mistakes or tell you what he/she thinks of the story. =D
     
  10. padawan3

    padawan3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 1999
    Oh, thankyou.
     
  11. Datree

    Datree Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2000
    POOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    :)
     
  12. Jaya Solo

    Jaya Solo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 12, 1999
    Post soon!
     
  13. padawan3

    padawan3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 1999
    I really could use another post right now.
     
  14. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Bomb? Flames? Does the Obi-Torture include him becoming Mr. Mosty-Toasty, or what? Post soon!
     
  15. Jedi Susie

    Jedi Susie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2000
    Here posty!

    please post soon!
     
  16. Anakin's Angel

    Anakin's Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 3, 2000

    Just read this whole thread, and have been blown away! Very wnderful this is! Post more you must! I loved the beginning when you described Obi-Wan and Kendrina's clothes! I could just see them! :D

    aa :D
    MORE!
     
  17. padawan3

    padawan3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 1999
    Still no post. Son of a sith. I was hoping for an other one.
     
  18. Solarya

    Solarya Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Aug 25, 2000
    Man, you ppl sure like saying the word post a lot. You ppl have no feelings? Why do you want to toture Obi-Wan Kenobi that much? Zeeg(backwards, lol), you ppl should be a little more...I dunno.
    LOL!
    =D
    Off topic:
    Does anyone know where I can find the lyric for "If You could Read My Mind" By Stars on 54? I have been searching everywhere! Please e-mail me when you found it!
     
  19. padawan3

    padawan3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 1999
    Because it's fun and we rather torture him now so he can get used to it for the future.
     
  20. Jedi Obi-Wan

    Jedi Obi-Wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2000
    "So you've decided to join us again."

    Kendrina moaned and forced her eyes open. "Wa hap?" She said weakly.

    "A bomb, Miss Kenobi."

    A bomb? Keni searched her brain. Lightsaber fight, blaster fire, bomb, explosion, Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan! "Bro ther. Obi-Wan. Where is he?" Keni nearly gasped at just the pain of talking.

    "Don't try to talk. You've been through quite a trauma."

    Keni groaned and tried to prop herself up on her elbows. The room started swirling. She hit her pillow with a thud, and the impact sent needles through her skull.

    "No, Kendrina. Don't try to get up. Your father and uncle are here to see you." The doctor motioned to the door. "Let them in."

    Father? Uncle?

    Keni was relieved when her Master came walking through the door, dressed in a business suit. Keni smiled at him "Hi, Dad."

    He stood beside her and stroked her dark head. "Hi, Honey."

    She grinned and wanted badly to hug him, but couldn't even lift an arm without pain. "Where's my uncle?"

    Her Master smiled. "Outside." He bent down and kissed her forehead. He touched his forehead to hers."I'm so glad you're all right, Padawan."

    Keni layed there for a moment and enjoyed her Master's presence. He put an arm under her back. "May I?"

    She nodded. She winced as he picked her up, but was glad to be in his arms. She layed her head against his chest and closed her eyes.

    "Keni? Are you all right?"

    Keni opened them again to see Qui-Gon Jinn, staring at her intently. "I'll be okay." Keni braced herself for the horrible truth that might follow her next question. "How is Obi-Wan?"

    "They found his body."

    "No. O please Force, no.""

    Keni tryed to pull away from her Master, but he wouldn't let her. Qui-Gon leaned in closer. "It wasn't him. The body was found in, ah, bits and pieces. He's alive. I can feel it."

    "Padawan." Her Master looked down at her. "We need to know what happened."

    Keni nodded. She recounted the whole story for them. At the end she was close to tears. "He knocked me down. He protected me. After I was reckless. If I hadn't been out there, he wouldn't have come after me."

    A single tear slid down her cheek. "So what happens now?"

    "Padawan, you'll have to stay here. Qui-Gon and I have some investigating to do where we were. And we still need someone to protect the students here. And to help us find Obi-Wan."

    "Yeah. So, I just tell the students that Obi-Wan was kidnapped." It was a statement. Keni looked away from both of the Jedi Masters.

    "Padawan." Matthias reached over and gently guided Keni's chin until his gaze met hers. "We'll find him. Thats a promise."

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Countdown to Obi-torture. Next post.
    On a side note: Please please reply!!! That was not one of my better written posts. So please reply with suggestions or something!!!
     
  21. padawan3

    padawan3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 1999
    Didn't you say that last post. Or did I just misunderstand the meaning of what you said.
     
  22. Eryce

    Eryce Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 29, 2000
    Bits and pieces? *cringe*
     
  23. Anakin's Angel

    Anakin's Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 3, 2000

    I liked it!


    aa :D
     
  24. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Oooh, yeah, Obi-Wan is still alive, but he's been kidnapped! And Obi-Torture is coming up! Suggestions? Post soon, very soon!

    I liked the way that Matthias and Qui-Gon suddenly became "father and uncle" and wore business suits. That was good camoflage! And the way that they told her they'd found the body, pause, and then that Obi-Wan was still alive, they could feel it. That was a good way to drag out the suspense!
     
  25. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    An excellent post JOW, suggestions...well how about longer posts, one every day perhaps???

    I agree with Eryce about 'bits and peices'. And my favorite parts were already voiced by Jane.
     
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