Amph SEASON PREMIERE ALERT! Top Shot

It's on at 10:30 tonight, right? Instead of Venture since their season just ended.

 

10-11PM

Masters of Horror (Showtime) "The second season of the anthology series debuts with a scary-sheriff story from director Tobe Hooper."

 

Tonight on BBC America: "Vincent" British cop show starring Ray Winstone.

 

From EW: "Fabulous Life Presents: Really Rich Real Estate (VH1, TV-PG) ''This show taps into the universal appeal of driving by a fantastic house and wanting to ring the doorbell, go inside, and ask how much is costs.'' It's cute how they think we've never done that."

Yeah...isn't it.

(Monday, 10:00-10:30pm)

(Who on earth would this show appeal to?)

 

From EW: Both tonight

"SERIES DEBUT
11PM-MIDNIGHT

Off the Record (HBO, TV-14) Eurythmics guitarist Dave Stewart ain't no Mike Wallace, but his new rock & roll chat show has potential, especially if he can continue to score guests as candid as U2's Bono and The Edge. The cocktails help too. Plied with margaritas, the pair dish on The Edge's trademark guitar echo, the influence of Patti Smith on Bono's political activism/savior complex, and the group's mercurial songwriting process (''It could have been a great song,'' says Bono of the mostly improvised U2 classic ''Bad''). It's like VH1's Storytellers, but with F-words...because, after all, this is HBO. B+ ? Jeff Jensen


SERIES DEBUT
8:30-9:30PM

America's Game: The Super Bowl Champions (NFL) Everyone knows the '85 Bears were the greatest Super Bowl team ever, but the football network insists on doing its own top-20 countdown. This premiere features the 1983 Raiders, known for knocking out quarterbacks. But it's not all bait-and-tackle: Marcus Allen's record-breaking 74-yard TD will have you choking back man-tears. B+ ? Aubry D'Arminio"

 

Tonight, tonight:

From EW:

"Season Premiere
King of the HillB+
''Culottes aren't cool, even though it sounds like they should be,'' explains dim Luanne. That piece of wisdom sends Peggy, the owner of said culottes, on a search for her femininity that involves a club called ''All the Queen's Men'' and lots of gloves and scarves, if you get my drift. Eleven seasons in, Fox's criminally overlooked sitcom maintains its characters' integrity while still finding new ways to explore their foibles ? in this case, Peggy's freakishly large, size-16 feet. As one of Peggy's new pals says, ''Girl, you are fierce, deal with it.'' ? Henry Goldblatt"

I love this show, though they change its time slot so often, it's hard to find. Last season. Don't miss it.

 

Tuesday on MTV:

"Two-A-Days"

 

Thursday, eight o'clock on NBC

"Survivor: Fiji"

The Idol must be played prior to the vote this year...

 

This is tonight.

 

From EW:

"Dancing With the Stars
SEASON PREMIERE PREVIEW A few promises: This year no favoring the hotshot ringer over the one giving it their all. No snide Heather/Yoko comparisons (except that one). No gossip on which partners are hooking up. And no slamming the network for helping ABC stars (this season there aren't any). So good luck, celebs (Ian Ziering, Joey Fatone, Heather Mills, Leeza Gibbons, Laila Ali, John Ratzenberger, Billy Ray Cyrus, Shandi Finnessey, Apolo Anton Ohno, Clyde Drexler, and Paulina Porizkova), go out and shake your booty..."

I'm guessing golddigger extraordinaire Heather Mills bites the dust very, very early....anyway, this is tonight at 8:00 pm.

 

Getting Heather Mills will be a ratings godsend for ABC and a great public relations move for the former Mrs. McCartney.

 

"1001 Places to See Before You Die" The Travel Channel, 9-10 on Thursday, March 29.

Sounds cheerful.

 

I love the Travel Channel. I started watching it because of the World Poker Tour, but then kind of got hooked on the channel as a whole. I'm a sucker for their Vegas shows and pretty much anything about the Caribbean.

 

On BBC America:

"Creature ComfortsB+
Looks familiar, dunnit? That's because this series, which marries Claymation animals and interviews with average Americans, is based on the British hit of the same name. Creature has three things going for it: (1) stellar animation from the folks who bring you Wallace & Gromit; (2) genuine charm that's never cloying or syrupy; and (3) a foolproof setup. Naturally funny interviews are easy TV; it's with drier material that the animators shine. For instance: humans afraid of needles? No big. Porcupines afraid of needles? Cute."

On Fox:

"Hell's Kitchen
Simon Cowell's on hiatus and Nigel Lythgoe swears he's gonna be nice this year, so Gordo's filling in as our Angry Limey in Residence."

 

Hells Kitchen is the best summer series.

 

QFT

 

Not if you're a Hoff fan it isn't:

"Season Premiere
America's Got Talent
Talent and the Hoff! America's pretty damn lucky."

 

Wednesday, June 6, 2007, on BBCA:

"Footballers Wive$"

On ABC:

"American Inventor"

 

Tonight:

"SEASON PREMIERE
Miami InkB
You can't spell tat without T and A. Since Kat Von D, the Ink spot's sole female tattoo artist, left in last season's finale, the shop is low on its supply of hot girls with needles. Auditions start with Tasi, who prefers spooky designs but can't seem to get to work on time. Better to tune in for the clients, like tonight's "vampire," a bikini model, and an 80-year-old getting her first brand."

 

I remember her. There was a hot girl on the show, but I forget her name.

The young guy had a crush on her

 

Next:

"Top Chef" (Bravo)

"Last Comic Standing" (NBC)

"Rescue Me" (FX)

 

I watched "Last Comic Standing", which was hugely variable. But some of comics *were* funny.

 

Tomorrow:

"The 4400" B ? Marc Bernardin
I feel bad for The 4400. The series launched three years ago with a great premise (a select group of people have extraordinary powers that may be pivotal in saving the world), ages before Heroes, and it will, I fear, be relegated to the kids' table. This fourth-season opener won't exactly help its cause: Government agent Tom Baldwin (Joel Gretsch), still pining for his lost love Alana, who disappeared in last season's finale, has to figure out how to stop a high schooler whose drug-gifted superpower makes him an object of worship. A decent episode, but sadly not quite extraordinary enough."


Never even *heard* of this...


"The Dead Zone
Isn?t your wedding supposed to be ?the happiest day of your life?? Well, Miranda?s might kill her. And Johnny has to find a way to stop the whole thing."

Heard of this; not seen it.

 

Tonight.

 

Tonight: "The Closer" and "Making the Band 4"