Beyond Second To None--Sacrifices : L/M, TK/J, J/J, OCs: COMPLETE: 3/10/2013 with Fan Art

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi_Lover, Nov 30, 2012.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    True...she didn't kill off any key characters...although I wouldn't have cared if Mara blew up the messenger pod that escaped the Eye of Palpatine. It could have been a bomb after all...you can never be too careful. o_O
    Last edited by Jedi_Lover, Feb 20, 2013
  2. EmeraldJediFire Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2012
    star 4
    In all fairness, Denning was the unlucky point man...He'd already gotten backlask over Anakin's death. So they sorta sprung it on him that he'd be killing Jacen to...granted he could have refused but I'm not sure what the repercussions of doing that would have.

    The way I read it they were all in a meeting (I think I got this from an interview) and they were like okay jacen is going to be killed off...Denning was like okay. and then they're like uh you're doing it.
    Last edited by EmeraldJediFire, Feb 20, 2013
  3. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    Denning should have said, "Can't we just capture him with a ysalamiri and give him a memory rub?" That is assuming there are still ysalamiri after the Vong war and a memory rub would be effective against Darth Dumbkriff.
  4. EmeraldJediFire Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2012
    star 4
    Yeah, the dumb writers weren't that creative. You think professional writer could think outside the box. Wha'ts funny is Denning's response after that...he's like you want me to do what...oh great..killing another solo that will be great (Im paraphrasing)
  5. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    Thanks @Hazel, @Briannakin, @Jade_eyes, @Demendora, @SiouxFan, @ginchy, and @EmeraldJediFire for reading. This chapter was hard to write. Because different people know different things and then suddenly a secret comes out that infuriates Tenel Ka, but then another thing is told her that has to make her being mad a hard thing to do. It's sort of like you found your teenage son was maced by the cops...you are mad because he is 100 lbs and 5 feet tall. But then the cop said he had a gun and threatened to kill the cop. Then you are relieved that they just maced your son.

    I am not saying that Tenel Ka would be happy about the memory rub, but can she really be furious at Luke when she finds out her husband tried to murder Luke's wife. It is hard to believe you have the high ground in that situation.

    Anyway, I worked on this for a while so I hope it doesn't seem to OCC.

    __________________________________

    Coruscant

    As Tenel Ka’s Ambassadorial shuttle entered the Coruscanti outer atmosphere she tried for the tenth time in the last two hours to contact Jacen on their secure and encrypted comlink. She didn’t understand why he wasn’t answering. Even if he was in the middle of Jedi business he would usually find a way to return her calls within an hour or two…but she had not heard from him since he had visited her on the Dragon Queen two weeks prior.

    Her concerns intensified greatly after she received a cryptic message from Grand Master Skywalker requesting a private meeting with her at the Temple, saying the information he wished to discuss was too sensitive for subspace transceiver communication. That was odd enough, but the fact that her former Master did not offer to meet her, the Queen Mother, within the Hapes Cluster was stranger yet.

    She reached out in the Force, trying to contact Jacen. She thought she could touch his presence…but he felt different. She wondered if he was ill? What she did know was this shuttle was moving way to slow for her liking.

    “Commander Tavik,” Tenel Ka called up to her security chief piloting the ship. “Can you make this ship move any faster?”

    He turned and gave her a disingenuous smile. “Your Highness, we are now entering the atmosphere at seven kilometers per second with an external shuttle temperature of 1,500 degrees Celsius. I supposed I could put us into a vertical free fall to the planet’s surface. It would be faster. Unfortunately, we would most likely burn up in the atmosphere and if we did somehow survive I am sure the subsequent aerodynamic forces would fold the wings of this ship backwards making us fall out of the sky like so much royal space junk.”

    She shook her head in frustration. “A simple no, would have sufficed.”

    She heard Sergeant Rycus the acting co-pilot stifle a laugh. Sometimes she wished her personal security team were Hapan citizens. Then she could at least threaten them with execution for their insolence. But as it were, they were the most trusted men she had ever employed, having saved her and Allana’s lives numerous times in the last year alone. For today's excursion to the Temple she decided to bring only two of her guards while the remainder of her security Force stayed on the Dragon Queen with her daughter.

    The shuttle finally moved into the planet's troposphere and after a few moments she could make out the Jedi Temple in the distance. She decided to try to contact Jacen again. This time she called the Temple central office directly in an effort to locate him. She was shocked when the young apprentice answering the comm said Jacen had been in the infirmary for almost a week.

    ‘A week?’ she thought. She had no idea as to what happened to Jacen, but somebody better have some answers when she arrived.

    .
    .
    .


    Ben Skywalker was waiting in the landing bay when Tenel Ka’s shuttle set down. As she came to the bottom of the boarding ramp Ben gave her a small bow of the head as a greeting. “Queen Mother, I will escort you to the Grand Master.” He turned his body and gestured with his hand. “If you would please follow me.”

    She smiled at Ben’s formality. She considered him a close friend, but like most Jedi he addressed her ceremoniously while in public or in front of her guards. She fell in step with Ben as her two sentries flanked her. “I wish to go to the Infirmary first,” she announced. “I was told Jacen was injured.”

    Ben looked at her flustered. “Yes, he was injured, Queen Mother. I don’t know if that’s what my father wishes to discuss with you, but he asked me to bring you directly to his office once you arrived.”

    She looked at him displeased. “And I am asking you to bring me directly to Jacen.”

    Ben went to reach for his comlink. “I'll need to request permission from the Grand Master.”

    Tenel Ka put a hand out and stopped him from activating his comlink. “You may do as you wish, but I am going to see Jacen Solo, now. I will meet with your father afterwards.”

    Ben temporarily dropped the formal pretense as he leaned in to whisper. “You’re going to pull your ‘don’t start an international incident’ poodoo on me, aren’t you?”

    She smiled slyly as she whispered back. “Of course I am, Ben.”

    "Since you put it that way, Queen Mother," Ben said dryly. "This way, Please."

    “What happened to Jacen?” she asked Ben. “How was he hurt? How badly was he injured?”

    She could see Ben avert his eyes. “He received a head injury during a Jedi mission, but I think you need to discuss this with Cilghal. I haven’t been briefed on his current condition.”

    She glanced at Ben suspiciously. She was sure he was lying to her.

    Then moved down the maze of corridors until they reached the medical wing. Cilghal the Mon Calamari healer in charge of the sickbay met them as they entered the infirmary. Ben fell back and immediately activated his comlink. Tenel Ka had no doubt he was using Cilghal as a distraction to contact his father.

    “Queen Mother," the healer said in her calm gravely voice. "It's an honor to have you visit. Can I assist you in any way?”

    She gazed at the healer. “Where is Jedi Solo? I was told he has been hospitalized for almost a week.”

    Cilghal blinked her large black eyes a few times before answering. “The Grand Master gave me orders to keep him in quarantine. There’s to be no visitors.”

    Tenel Ka’s eyes narrowed. “The Temple doesn’t have a contagious disease quarantine facility…at least they didn’t seven years ago when I trained here.” She looked around the medical bay and reached out for Jacen through the Force. She sensed him down the hall. She immediately turned and marched in that direction.

    “Queen Mother, he’s not contagious but he did receive a brain…injury. He has some memory lapses.”

    “He’ll remember me,” she said dismissively.

    “Wait!” The Mon Calamari said in an authoritative voice.

    Tenel Ka tensed, but slowly turned to listen.

    “You may see Jacen, but realize his head injury was severe, please don’t upset him or become troubled yourself if he doesn’t remember things. It can cause undue stress on the patient.”

    Tenel Ka was a bit shaken by the warning as her fear for her husband’s condition grew. “I promise not to upset him, “ she said as she turned and headed to his room. As she arrived to Jacen’s door she stop and turned. “Guards, I want privacy. Keep everybody out.”

    They gave her a nod of understanding as she entered his hospital room. As she closed the door behind her, Tenel Ka was relieved to find Jacen sitting at a small hospital desk reading his datapad. He had a bruise on his face, but nothing else looked amiss. He turned when he heard her enter and broke out in a wide grin. “Tenel Ka,” he said happily as he stood to greet her.

    “Oh Jacen, I missed you so much.” She ran up to him, wrapping him up in a warm embrace and planting a deep lingering kiss on his lips. She didn’t stop until she felt his posture stiffen and shock radiating off him through the Force.

    She tentatively pulled away and gazed at him. “What’s wrong, Jacen?”

    He swallowed hard and appeared to have difficultly talking. He gave her a boyish smile she fondly remembered from their days at the Academy. “Nothing’s wrong…I just was shocked at that...um…enthusiastic greeting. They must have told you I was at death’s door,” he laughed nervously before looking down to her left arm. His eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. “When did you get a prosthetic replacement?”

    Tenel Ka frowned. “Jacen, you have known of this arm replacement for months.” She stepped back and walked around him studying him intently. “Cilghal said you had a brain injury and memory loss. What do you remember?”

    “I don’t remember getting injured, but I was told it was severe.” Jacen said with an air of resignation. “It resulted in years of memory loss.”

    “Years?” Tenel Ka whispered. “How many years?”

    “It seems I lost around six years of memories.”

    A small gasp escaped Tenel Ka. “Six years?” she fought to keep her voice steady. “Do you even remember Allana?

    “Allana?” Jacen reached up and squeezed the bridge of his nose in thought. “I’m sorry Tenel Ka. My memories are a bit jumbled. Is that somebody I know?”

    “It’s the name of o…my daughter.”

    Jacen’s face fell slightly and she sensed disappointment in his voice when he spoke. “Oh…I was told you had a daughter. I’m sorry that I don’t remember her…but I’d love to meet her.”

    Tenel Ka opened her mouth to speak but then decided she needed to know more about her husband’s condition. “Jacen you should rest. I have a meeting scheduled with your Uncle Luke. I will return to see you afterwards.”

    Jacen looked like he wanted to protest, but instead he simply gave her a small smile. “I look forward to seeing you again. I'm trying to piece together some of the missing years. Perhaps you can help.”

    She nodded sadly. “I will do everything that I can. I promise you that.”

    She leaned closer to him wanting to kiss him passionately, but she could tell her earlier greeting confused him. She instead gave him a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I am so glad you are well, Jacen. We will talk when I return.”

    She left him standing in the room with a happy but confused smile on his face.
    .
    .

    .

    Tenel Ka's immediately marched to Grand Master Luke Skywalker’s office. She was not sure what happened to Jacen, but the secrecy and extent of his injury was perplexing. Jacen had been injured dozens of times in the past and she was always informed of his condition…if not personally, then indirectly. The Temple sent out internal memorandums to the Jedi updating the condition of their injured comrades. This time she heard nothing. It was true she was no longer an official member of the Jedi Order, but she had continued to receive memos, newsletters and other bulletins sent to the Jedi at large…but not this time.

    When she came to the Grand Master’s office she signaled for her guards to wait outside, then pushed the entry chime.

    Luke Skywalker opened the door and greeted her. “Queen Mother, I am sorry that you had to see Jacen in his condition before you were properly briefed. Please come in.” Luke pointed to a large leather couch in his office as he closed the door behind her. “Make yourself at home.”

    Tenel Ka sat down as Luke took a chair across from her. “What exactly is Jacen's condition other than six years worth of amnesia? What happened?”

    Luke sighed and picked up a datapad and handed it to Tenel Ka. “The public media outlets will receive this official press release later this afternoon."

    She looked down at an official Public Affairs memorandum scrolling across the screen.

    “It is long and detailed so I will give you a synopsis of the story we're releasing." Luke took a deep breath and let it out before continuing. "Lumiya, the Dark Lady of the Sith was reportedly seen in Chiss space last month. A group of Jedi were sent out to find her. Jedi Masters Mark Tantiss and Mara Jade Skywalker along with Jedi Knights Jacen Solo and Ben Skywalker tracked her to the Hapes Cluster to a planet called Kavan. There they fought with Lumiya. Mara was injured and returned to Coruscant with Ben. Mark and Jacen followed a fleeing Lumiya to Myrkr where they forced her to land. There she fought Mark and Jacen. Jacen succeeded in killing her but not before he received a head injury. Lumiya's corpse was returned to Coruscant and turned over to Law Enforcement with a full report describing the circumstances of her death.”

    “She was operating in Hapan space?” She gasped. “Do you know why?”

    Luke shook his head. “That is one thing I don’t know.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “That is the official story to be given to the public.”

    She looked up from the datapad confused. “You say that like it is not the real story.”

    Luke took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Tenel Ka, much of what is in that report is a lie. The truth is, Jacen was working with Lumiya. We think it was in an effort to gain knowledge in order to protect his family…to protect you and his daughter.”

    “His daughter?” She said with a sudden burst of emotion as she slowly rose to her feet. “What do you know about that? Who knows? Who told you about his family, because I just met with Jacen and he doesn’t remember his daughter.”

    Luke put his hands up in a calming gesture. “Tenel Ka, please, sit down and I’ll explain.”

    She stood a moment longer glaring at the Master, but then slowly took her seat. “Yes, please continue,” she said tersely.

    “It’s true that Lumiya was spotted in Chiss space. Later, I was sure I felt her presence while in the Temple. After some investigation we came to believe Jacen was associating with Lumiya.”

    Tenel Ka gasped. “Jacen would never do that.”

    “But he did,” Luke said unhappily. “We think Jacen was tricked. He became very confused and desperate and at one point he attacked and tried to kill two Jedi…Mark... and my wife Mara. He also injured Jaden in an escape attempt.”

    Tenel Ka brought her hand up to her mouth stifling a gasp. “Oh no…is everybody alright?”

    Luke nodded. “Yes, everybody has recovered. Master Tantiss captured Jacen after the attack on Mara. Lumiya came for Jacen and was subsequently killed by Mark. When I talked to Jacen he admitted training with Lumiya and participating in the attacks, but refused to cooperate with us further.”

    “What was he learning from Lumiya? What were they doing together?”

    “We were told Lumiya wanted to train him on darkside techniques so he could defeat some great future danger. As far as we know only training was occurring and very little at that. It turns out we caught Jacen near the start of their association. Other than the three attacks on his family members, we have no indication that any other criminal activity occurred.”

    Tenel Ka shook her head in confusion. “How exactly did Jacen get injured and amnesia?”

    Luke sighed as his face flushed with a look of guilt. “He doesn’t exactly have amnesia…he received a memory rub.”

    “What?!” Tenel Ka exclaimed angrily. “You did that to him? On purpose!”

    Luke put his hands out in a mollifying gesture. “Please understand, Tenel Ka. He tried to kill three people. We thought we had a possible Sith on our hands and we had limited options on how to handle the situation,” Luke explained. “There was the choice of carbonite, incarceration for his crimes or a memory rub. We opted for the memory rub. We thought if we could erase his memory of his association with Lumiya he would return to the man we once knew.” Luke paused. “When Mark performed the rub he inadvertently discovered Jacen’s secret about you and Allana. Only Mark and I know. I haven’t even told Leia or Han.”

    “Why six years?” Tenel Ka asked her voice becoming uncharacteristically shrill. “He won’t remember our relationship or our daughter!”

    “Tenel Ka, we didn’t know.” Luke stressed each word. “We didn’t know about your relationship or his daughter. We also didn’t know when he began training with Lumiya, but his family said he became very secretive six years ago. He left on his journey for Force knowledge unexpectedly and without explanation and was gone for years. When he finally returned his family said he was withdrawn and depressed. We thought his secrecy and odd behavior was because he was hiding the fact he was working with a Sith. We didn’t know he had a secret family.”

    Her head drooped dejectedly. “He was withdrawn and depressed around his family?” she whispered despondently. “He told me he was unhappy, but I wasn’t aware it was that bad. What have I done?”

    Luke looked at her questioningly. “What exactly did happen?”

    She closed her eyes and sighed. “When Jacen and I started our relationship I swore him to secrecy. After we began a physical relationship there was an assassination attempt on my life. Jacen became very protective with me. He wanted to stay and safeguard me from further assassinations…but I pushed him away. We argued bitterly over his role in my life. One day I told him his presence would only endanger me further. I think he took that as an insult on his Jedi abilities and perhaps his manhood. He said he was leaving and he wouldn't return until he was no longer a liability to me. The next thing I knew he is off on a search for Jedi knowledge.” She stopped and looked at the floor. “When he left I didn't know I was pregnant. When he returned years later he came home to a daughter.”

    She wiped away a tear. “He was so happy. He wanted to hold her all the time, to raise her, to be her father….but once again I pushed him away. I was afraid that if the Hapan people knew a Jedi Knight fathered Allana it would endanger her life further. I kept Allana’s paternity a secret. Even my daughter was not told who her father was and Jacen’s role was relegated to ‘friend of the family’.”

    She drew in a deep breath and let it out forcefully. “I knew it was causing him much distress and anxiety, but I thought he could handle the situation…but now I see I pushed him beyond the breaking point.”

    “You didn’t tell his daughter he was the father?” Luke whispered in shock. He let out a deep breath and then gazed down to the floor. “Sorry, I’m sure you were doing what you thought was best.”

    “I was…what was best for me and my daughter, but not for Jacen. I knew having a Jedi consort would be unacceptable to the Hapan people, but I selfishly desired him. I was willing to accept what he could offer, but I gave little back in return.”

    The normally stoic Queen Mother bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. “Now he doesn’t remember…not our daughter or our relationship. What if he feels differently about me? I was the one who pursued him romantically six years ago. Now…if I tell him about our daughter he will feel duty bound to play the role of husband and father even if my love for him is unreciprocated.”

    Luke laughed softly. “Tenel Ka, Jacen had been pursuing you romantically since he was a teenager. I just don’t think you saw it. All the bad jokes he told you nonstop. He requested missions with you." Luke leaned forward in his chair and gazed at her intently. "If you worry about him staying because of a sense of duty, then don’t tell him Allana is his daughter right away. Rekindle your relationship. I’ll have Cilghal release Jacen from the infirmary. He doesn’t appear to have any dark side tendencies. Spend time with him. I want to keep your family together.”

    She nodded solemnly. “I’m glad he did not kill any of his family members. I am extremely unhappy about his memory loss, but I am thankful to you for keeping this situation within the family.” She gave Luke a curious gaze. “His misadventures are strictly confined to his family…he didn’t hurt others who could come after him, did he?”

    Luke shook his head. “That is all that I know. Mark may know more, but he is not talking.”

    Her brow furrowed in confusion. “He not talking?”

    Luke shrugged. “Mark is selective when it comes to debriefing me.” He gave her sympathetic smile. “I will do everything in my power to make this right.”

    She nodded her head. “I know you will.” She took a shuddering breath. “Right now I need time to think. Is it possible to get quarters in the Temple? I need a room for me and another for my guards.”

    “Certainly,” Luke said. “I already took the liberty to arranging lodging for you in case you wished to stay near Jacen.” He pushed a few buttons on his datapad. “I will have a Knight outside that will lead you to your to rooms.”

    The Queen mother stood and gave Luke a polite bow. “Thank you Grand Master Skywalker.”

    Luke gave her a nod of acknowledgement. “Thank you for your understanding.” As the door closed behind her Luke’s shoulders slumped. “This is a mess,” he muttered.
    Last edited by Jedi_Lover, Feb 20, 2013
  6. EmeraldJediFire Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2012
    star 4
    That's right you didn't. Sorry, I'm a little bit ticked at her for some reason. I just can't feel sympathetic toward her..if she hadn't been all hush hush this wouldn't have ever been an issue. I know she probably knows that which is what sucks but yea..
    Last edited by EmeraldJediFire, Feb 20, 2013
  7. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    This really is a mess! But now it's too late to go back.

    I think you did a great jog writing this difficult scene.
  8. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    You can't write Tenel Ka OOC because she has no C :p But I think you did a great job handling her anyways.

    I can just imagine the look of Jacen's face when Tenel gave him the smooch - confused, surprised, yet delighted.
  9. Demendora Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2010
    star 2
    And if the origins of plague will come out, it would be twice a mess. And you did it- now I feel bad for Jacen.
  10. ginchy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2005
    star 4
    Luke is right. It is a mess. With no easy solution. I think Tenel Ka knew all along that she was putting stress onto Jacen, but when you're young and in love... Let's hope the mind wipe allows then to be happy together in a way they couldn't before!
  11. SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2012
    star 3
    Frankly, I loved that Tenel Ka refused to be lead by the nose in this chapter; she was pretty much, 'I'm seeing Jacen and YOU are not going to stop me.' I'm not sure she'd open up to Luke, but she needed to tell someone for the sake of the story, so I get why she did.

    Luke's description made it sound like Jacen went on a rampage of some kind, and he's doing it to skew Tenel Ka's view of what happened. Jacen had no intention of killing Jaden, and Luke knows that; furthermore, he also knows that Jacen did not truly wish Mara any permanent harm. I will grant that Jacen wanted Mark dead, but each of them thought the other to be Sith, so I'd call that a draw. On the plus side, only Mark knows about Jacen's role in the death of 10-odd Hapans, so I will be interested in knowing whether he tells the Queen Mother this information; she has no love lost for most of the nobility, so I doubt she would shed a tear. They've been trying to kill her for years, so I think she would understand why Jacen did what he did. Others have been forgiven larger crimes, after all.

    I have to disagree with Briannakin, TK has LOTS of character, it just that no one spends the time to write it; she's been painted into a corner by profic and most people in fanfic don't write about her and Jacen.
  12. EmeraldJediFire Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2012
    star 4
    I think Luke handled it the best he could..he didn't give her the straight version first and maybe that was slightly misleading, but he was softening the blow...getting her ready for the truth. Jacen injured three people...maybe he was paranoid..but he still caused harm...if it was a normal person, that would not be tolerated.....Jacen got off lucky with the mind rub...not that they could do anything or else they'd be opening up a can of worms they didn't want to.

    Besides, you know what was an uneccesary mind rub...what jacen did to ben in the profic...and he did it twice.
  13. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    If I physically assaulted two people...resulting in the death of one (albeit she was brought back to life), and then tried to kill a third...I am pretty sure the cops in my town would consider me on a rampage. Luke told her the facts. Jacen was reckless. He assaulted three family members and is responsible for almost a dozen Hapan deaths (which Luke doesn't know about).

    Luke is not skewing Tenel Ka's view. He is trying to save her family. He knows he screwed up and is trying to make amends. Do you think it is easy for the Grand Master to make a false report to the police and then lie outright to the press? The only reason he can justify it in his mind is because only his family was hurt and they all want what is best for Jacen.

    Siouxfan you are killing my muse...and do you know what happens when you kill my muse? This fanfic ends abruptly with Jacen wearing net stockings and hanging in a closet dead from autoerotic asphyxiation.

    I've done it in another fanfic...don't make me bring out the rope!:p
  14. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    I was merely jesting (as you may be able to tell, I just don't like her). TK does have an interesting character dynamic, when she's in queen mode she is very serious, and there is nothing wrong with that. But in most of the few times I've read her in both profic and fanfic, it seems like she's in queen mode the majority of the time and for some authors it comes off as bland, rather than serious.
  15. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    Ummm...looks around and wonders if she is talking about me.[face_worried]

    Wait...if Tenel Ka is painted into a corner in profics, then if I write her any differently in my fanfic... won't I be writing her out of character?

    That would be like me writing Twilight fanfiction and making Bella a dynamic and interesting character...totally OOC.
    Last edited by Jedi_Lover, Feb 21, 2013
    SiouxFan likes this.
  16. SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2012
    star 3
    But that's the thing...Mara's NOT dead. For all we know, Mark didn't do anything a competent EMT couldn't have done. Look, I'm not condoning what Jacen did, but there ARE other sides of the truth; Jacen had NO intention of harming Mara--he thought he was being captured by a Sith (Mark) and was trying his damnedest to escape, as one would expect a competent Jedi to do. The truth is as we perceive it: Tenel Ka needs to know WHY Jacen acted in this manner (facts that Mark and Luke, to an extent, KNOW) As to Master Skywalker, he let Kyp Durron off, so the precedent is already set and this is child's play in comparison.

    Kill your muse? JL, as I've said I really enjoy the complexities of this story; at this point you can't do anything to Jacen that's worse than what Denning did to him, even if it's turning him into a zookeeper. I understand that pretty much everyone hates him as a character and I applaud the effort you've put into this.

    Back to TK: her and Jag have the same problem; how do you portray someone as serious and still human? I would argue that you do it by adding LOTS of background thoughts, but there aren't too many authors (profic or fanfic) that are willing to spend the time. And no, I am not referring to this story.
  17. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    Oh, you read my zookeeper story? I got flamed big time over at FFN for that one. [face_laugh] And I contend that what he did to Mara was an assault. If I put a bunch of roofies in your drink with the intention of knocking you out so I could...umm...watch you sleep...wouldn't you consider that an assault?
    Last edited by Jedi_Lover, Feb 21, 2013
  18. EmeraldJediFire Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2012
    star 4
    He didn't mean to harm her, but his intent was skewed. I blame Tenel Ka for the choices he made, but I blame Jacen himself cause he allowed himself to be what he was...nothing more.
    Last edited by EmeraldJediFire, Feb 21, 2013
  19. SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2012
    star 3
    Yeah. As you've probably noticed, I'm about the biggest Jacen fan around, but even I was perplexed by his review. :confused: Dude, it's just a story. As an aside, he's left a couple of reviews on my story over there and he wanted me to pass on his praise for your Null Abroad story. (I've not read that one, actually) Somewhere I mentioned that I follow some stories here on TF.N, and he asked me to pass that on to you. Do with this info what you will.
  20. SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2012
    star 3
    Absolutely. But his intent was to keep his wife and daughter safe; would not Mark or Mara or Luke have done the same thing? Isn't that what they are doing now? Keeping their family safe. This mind-rub has the potential to become a dangerous precedent for the future.
    Last edited by SiouxFan, Feb 21, 2013
  21. EmeraldJediFire Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2012
    star 4
    See I would agree with that, but that kind of thinking in the profic led Mara into being killed off...and written out of character
  22. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    No, I am not taking about you.

    Yes, I think you are writing her OOC because the way that profic authors handle her just is not that interesting IMO.

    Yeah, it is kinda like that :p

    Aslo, you made Jacen a Zookeeper??!! Now I want to go to the murky depths of FF.n to find this.
    Last edited by Briannakin, Feb 21, 2013
  23. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    @Briannakin ...He was the head vet at the Hapan Royal Zoo. I really didn't see being in the medical profession as a diss on the man. You have read it, I believe. It is Altered Perceptions.

    Thanks @SiouxFan for passing on a message from my strange FFN stalker. :p He probably realized he can no longer write reviews to my stories. For the life of me I have no clue why he likes Null Aboard. That is a fangirl fic with Luke doing nude gymnastics.:confused:
  24. SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 2012
    star 3
    I would argue that EVERYONE in LotF was OOC. (I've passed on reading FotJ)

    JL: I don't know if you've read any of his stories, but his tastes are a bit...odd.
    Jedi_Lover likes this.
  25. EmeraldJediFire Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2012
    star 4
    True..but the actions by Mara and Luke in sacrifice fall on Traviss.

    As for HE...(yes I'm aware who he is), I had an interesting coversation about why he reviews things..I read fan fic just to gain knowledge of post characters yada yada yada... (read the damn book then) I archive my reviews was his other thing (What for), i swear i feel like a project to him. my stories aren't there for you to improve yourself! (Sorry JL)
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