Saga Senseless Grief - Humor Thread Workshop - Padmé/Anakin/the Lars Family

Title: Senseless Grief
Author: The Musical Jedi
Timeframe: AotC
Characters: Padmé, Anakin, Owen, Beru, Cliegg
Genre: Attempt at Humor
Summary: Anakin gets choked up at Shmi's funeral.
Notes: Written for the Humor Thread's first workshop. My scene was, succintly, Shmi's Funeral.

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The small crowd stood before the headstones overlooking the vast, empty desert. Cliegg Lars stifled a sob as he stared down from his hoverchair at the freshly turned sand that now covered his beloved wife, Shmi. Owen and Beru stood next to him, very close together, and beyond them stood Padmé and Anakin. Padmé felt uncomfortable; after the scene in the garage, she couldn?t help but wonder what Anakin might do with this even more real demonstration that his mother was, in fact dead.

The wind blew over the sand as Cliegg said a few words over her grave. She was touched by the tough man?s gentle words and his truly sorrowful look. Despite never having met Shmi, she was glad that, after having lost her son, the former slave had found such love and acceptance.

Anakin, however, seemed ever resentful, even of the consolation his mother had found not in him, but in these people. A tear rolling down his cheek, the Jedi moved in front of the gravestone before flinging himself to his knees. ?I wasn?t strong enough, Mom,? he choked out, his words barely comprehensible. ?I wanted to save you, but I wasn?t strong enough!? With his hand, he knocked some of the sand towards the grave. ?I?m the Chosen One, but I just couldn?t do it!?

Padmé wanted to take a step backward and roll her eyes. [i]Always with this Chosen One stuff,[/i] she couldn?t help thinking. [i]You?d think the Jedi would curb this kind of ego-stroking?[/i]

?From the moment I left you, I?ve thought of you every day,? Anakin continued.

Padmé sighed. [i]You, me, and everyone else, apparently.[/i] Did Anakin say the same things to everyone?

?And now that I have found you again ? it is agony. Your death ? it is tormenting me.?

[i]There go the contractions. Better settle in for a while.[/i] She saw Beru and Owen exchange uneasy looks.

?I know I should be happy that you are in a better place. You are one with the Force ? but that would be rational, and that is something I cannot do!? Anakin broke off, a cry coming from somewhere deep in his throat. ?I wish I could wish my feelings away.?

Rolling her eyes, Padmé shifted her weight. [i]?There is no emotion.? What a bunch of bantha poodoo.[/i] The suns were hot on her back, and her feet were starting to hurt. Unfortunately, she didn?t think Anakin would be winding down any time soon.

?I miss you so much, Mom??

[i]You haven?t even seen her for ten years, since you left for the Jedi Temple![/i]

Crying in earnest, Anakin threw himself prostrate on the hot sand. Padmé flinched at the thought of the hot grains digging into his skin. Then he grabbed a handful.

?Sand,? he murmured. ?So coarse and rough and irritating. Not like your??

?That?s it, I can?t take any more,? Padmé grumbled. ?I?ll be in the ship when you?re done,? she informed Anakin. Beru and Owen, looking greatly relieved, fled as she distracted Anakin momentarily from his eulogy. Cliegg was not far behind. The Senator didn?t even look back as she stalked to her ship.

Anakin remained on the ground, sand stuck to his wet cheeks and hands, half-curled and gazing at the headstone. ?It is all Obi-Wan?s fault.?

 

Whoa! This was great!!! Poor Padme... she's got a guy using the same lines over and over... two-faced whelp I loved her reaction as he went along... and I couldn't stop laughing when she walked off leaving him blaming Obi-Wan

When I gave you that challenge, I'd honestly had no idea how you were going to pull it off, but you did a spectacular job!

AnakinsFavorite

 

How did you come up with this? Is there going to be more?

 

Hilarious. I didn't think anyone could make that funny but you pulled it off. I loved that Anakin kept repeating the same lines and Padme had enough.

Great job.

 

You did the impossible! What a scene to try and make humorous and yet you did...flawlessly!

?And now that I have found you again ? it is agony. Your death ? it is tormenting me.?

There go the contractions. Better settle in for a while. She saw Beru and Owen exchange uneasy looks.

?I know I should be happy that you are in a better place. You are one with the Force ? but that would be rational, and that is something I cannot do!? Anakin broke off, a cry coming from somewhere deep in his throat. ?I wish I could wish my feelings away.?

Rolling her eyes, Padmé shifted her weight. ?There is no emotion.? What a bunch of bantha poodoo. The suns were hot on her back, and her feet were starting to hurt. Unfortunately, she didn?t think Anakin would be winding down any time soon.

?I miss you so much, Mom??

You haven?t even seen her for ten years, since you left for the Jedi Temple!

Crying in earnest, Anakin threw himself prostrate on the hot sand. Padmé flinched at the thought of the hot grains digging into his skin. Then he grabbed a handful.

?Sand,? he murmured. ?So coarse and rough and irritating. Not like your??

?That?s it, I can?t take any more,? Padmé grumbled. ?I?ll be in the ship when you?re done,? she informed Anakin. Beru and Owen, looking greatly relieved, fled as she distracted Anakin momentarily from his eulogy. Cliegg was not far behind. The Senator didn?t even look back as she stalked to her ship.

Anakin remained on the ground, sand stuck to his wet cheeks and hands, half-curled and gazing at the headstone. ?It is all Obi-Wan?s fault.?

 

So Padme is already tired of Anakin's lines?





Very funny!

Great response to the challenge

 

Hilarious! Not a scene one would associate with humor, but you did it and did it brilliantly!

 

Loved the inner voice of Padme. I liked it!

 

That last line had me rofl

you would never think a funeral could be so funny (well unless it was your mother-in-laws funeral)