Setting the Matter Straight (J/J, humor, fluff)- **IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT 7/31**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jaina_Fel_06, Mar 3, 2003.

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  1. NYCitygurl NSWFF Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2002
    star 9
    I LOVE THIS!!!! Kyp is really funny.

    NYC
  2. Lt_Jaina_Solo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2002
    star 5
    ?Hi, ummm? er? Hi.? Oh yeah, he thought sarcastically, real smooth, Fel. I?m sure that eloquent little speech?ll sweep her off her feet?she?ll faint before my eloquence. What about, ?Hi, Jaina. I happened to be passing, and guess what? I love you!?


    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    awesome postie! can't wait for the next installment!
  3. Shinar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2002
    star 4
    Oh, poor Jag!!
    Just how long is this sithlyness going to continue, may I ask?
  4. Jaina_Fel_06 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 2002
    star 4
    Hmmm... people seem to be getting rah-thuh disgruntled at my sithlyness, to coin Shinar's word... Maybe I should stop... :p


    j_g: I'm glad you liked! :D


    lordmaul: Thanks! I will (try)... :p


    TJF: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it! Awwww... How can you NOT feel sorry for Jaggie? Okay, never mind... stupid question... [face_blush] :p


    Jjf: Yeah... He's gonna try to maybe by the next post or so... ;)


    TKL: [face_blush] [face_blush] Awwww... Thanks so much! [face_blush] I'm glad you liked it so much! [face_blush]


    Aeryn: I'm so sorry it had that effect on you. :( But cheer up-- read my response to Jjf and also at the top of the page. ;)


    NYC: YAAAAAAAY!! New reader!!! I'm glad you like Kyp! :)


    Lt: Thanks! I'll try to have it up soon... :D


    Shinar: Yeah, poor Jag... maybe I was too sithly... :( But it'll go away soon, I promise!! :D :D
  5. hawkbatcanuck Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2002
    star 4
    I just caught this story, and all I can say is :

    HA HA HA

    The last post was just like a scene out of some highschool movie, with Jag the new kid, in the cafeteria, mooning over the head cheerleader, sitting with the football team captain. With all the grace of a rancor in a china shop.

    Please let him get himself together one day, so we can have some romance. But not too soon. I'm sure Jag will need some time to do a few more embarrassing things to Jaina first. Maybe accidentally tear her uniform in a public place? Or damage her X wing in the hanger?
  6. Jaina-Solo-Fel13 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2002
    star 3
    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!! *bawls and bawls and bawls* :_| This is so sad!!!!! And poor Jaggie got embarrassed. It was kind of funny, but I don't like that he keeps getting hurt! But I still love the story. Odd how that works isn't it? Keep up the good posts, but PLEASE let Jag at least get out a whole good sentance to Jaina. I want them to be together!

    JSF13
  7. Jaina_Fel_06 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 2002
    star 4
    hawkbat: I'm so glad you made it, and that you liked! :D Hehe... You're right, I didn't even think about it, but it WAS like some high school scene... some sithly high school scene... :p


    JSF13: :( A bunch of people didn't really like this post, and I didn't either... I was too sithly... :( I'm glad you still like the story, though! :)
  8. hawkbatcanuck Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2002
    star 4
    I like Jag better than Kyp, but I didn't think there was anything sithly about what's been happening to Jag. Unfortunate, maybe. Hilarious, for sure! When Jag finally manages to say something coherent, if not romantic, to Jaina, without spilling something, or injuring himself, we'll be able to cheer. And it will be well worth the effort.
  9. Jaina_Fel_06 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 2002
    star 4
    Awwwwwwww... Thanks so much, hawkbat! [face_blush] [face_blush] [face_blush] I'm glad you don't think I'm sithly... ;) I'm working on the next post which features Kyp, and it isn't sithly in the least bit. ;) Do you think it's time for something to happen to Jaina, or would you prefer J and J just to avoid each other until Kyp breaks down and locks them in a closet? :p
  10. Jaina_Fel_06 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 2002
    star 4
    I hereby solemnly swear that Jaggie shall not be physically harmed again in this story. :p
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chapter Seven

    Kyp sat at the bar in the pilot?s lounge, contemplating his brandy and, far more important, how to get Jag and Jaina to fall for each other. His mind skipped over several possibilities, all of them impossible because he didn?t own love potions, really really strong cord, or any of the other innumerable objects necessary to carry out his schemes. And most importantly, he thought, I don?t have ysalamiri. I?m gonna hafta comm Karrde and tell him I need some if I expect to die due to natural causes.

    Sipping his brandy, he leaned against the counter and noticed a young man sitting to his side, drowning his sorrows with alcohol. Or, more aptly, drowning his alcohol with his sorrows. Kyp grimaced as he watched the whiskey get more and more diluted with salt water as the pilot continued to empty his saline solution sockets into his drink. Kyp recognized the young man as Dagran, a pilot with the Blackmoon squadron.

    Kyp turned away, his mind returning to his dilemma. He was yanked from his reverie, however, when the young man choked, ?How do you do it??

    Kyp turned and looked behind him. Seeing no one there, he returned his attention to the pitiable sight before him. ?Me? Do what??

    The other man laughed sardonically. ?You?re Kyp Durron. The Kyp Durron. How do you do it??

    Kyp was confused. ?Are you asking me how I became Kyp Durron? Well, I hope you know the basic mechanics, because if you don?t, I am not explaining the krayts and the gornts to you.?

    Dagran shook his head and wobbled on his stool. ?No,? he said. ?How do you make women flock to you like piranha beetles to raw flesh??

    Kyp winced. ?Lovely analogy,? he murmured. ?Well, I don?t particularly notice the piranha beetles, but I suppose it?s because I stole a superweapon, tried to kill my Master, blew up a planet, broke every bone in my body except the three in my ear, and offered my squadron on the proverbial sacrificial altar, so to speak. I don?t know; I guess women find that attractive.?

    Dagran?s mouth had dropped as Kyp spoke. ?I?ll never get her now,? he wailed. ?I don?t know where any superweapons are kept and I don?t have a Master to kill!?

    Kyp raised an eyebrow. ?What exactly is your problem??

    Dagran reached into his pocket and withdrew a holocube imprinted with a picture of a young woman. He tossed it to Kyp. ?That?s Zela,? he said. ?The most beautiful girl to ever breathe.?

    Kyp studied the holo. She certainly isn?t bad looking, he admitted. But I wouldn?t say she?s the most beautiful girl in the universe. Jaina is, he thought fondly with all the pride of an older brother. He returned the cube. ?So? what?s the problem?? he asked again.

    Dagran looked up. ?The problem? The problem?! The problem is she?d never fall in love with me!?

    Kyp mentally rolled his eyes. Please, please tell me this isn?t happening, he thought. Please! Everywhere I go, dense, lovesick individuals follow me. If I have a sign on my forehead saying ?Come Cry on Me,? then there?s definitely a sign in its vicinity saying ?I Love Lovesick Lovers. Tell Me About It!?

    Dagran mumbled into his cup as he swayed unsteadily on his stool. ?So purty? So loverly? So intally?intolly? intelly? smart??

    Kyp clapped a hand over his eyes. If I close them reeeeally tightly, I can just imagine Jag sitting here instead of Dagran, he thought wryly. Force, their names even rhyme! Jag... Dag... ?Just tell her you love her!?

    Dagran stared at him. ?Geez, man, you?re pasy? posy? really smart!? he slurred. He got up from his seat and staggered out of the lounge calling, ?Zela! Ze-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-la! Zela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a!!?

    Kyp closed his eyes in relief. One potential headache down. Only ten hundred billion more to go. Sighing, he drained the glass and stood to go as well. He needed to get back to his quarters
  11. hawkbatcanuck Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 24, 2002
    star 4
    Now THAT'S entertainment!

    Poor Kyp, feeling that his new mission in life is to give advice to the lovelorn! He should write a column in some holozine!

    Maybe we could have T-shirts made up, saying "Come cry on me" on one side, and "the love doctor is in" on the other!

    I always considered Kyp a little on the conceited side, but never imagined him to be a mirror narcissist! "My handsomeness is too compelling" and "I'm soo buff - lookin' good!" should be remembered for his memorial service, when he kicks the bucket.

    And if Jedi had tombstones, instead of disappearing bodies, then AAAARG! would be written on Kyp's!

    Very funny post. Just what we need right now, in these difficult times.

    Why, you even make Kyp appealing!
  12. Jedi_jainafel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2002
    star 4
    LOL!!!!!!

    *Tears roll down cheeks*

    That was soooo funny!!!!

    Kyp,the Lurrrrve Doctor!!!!!!!!!!

    Glad to see that Jag wasn't hurt in this post!!!

    nina
  13. lordmaul13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 4
    I'm so glad I'm all alone. Otherwise everyone would be staring at the idiot laughing out loud in the corner.

    Kyp crept stealthily up to the room into which Jaina had gone. Grinning to himself, he suddenly pushed open the door and leapt in, growling. ?AAAAAAAARG!!!?

    Twenty faces belonging to the New Republic?s most prominent citizens snapped around, including the distinguishable features of Wedge Antilles. ?Durron, what is the meaning of all this??


    ROTFLMAO!

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    lordmaul13
  14. Lt_Jaina_Solo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2002
    star 5
    i'm a little worried about all the "disguise" Kyp put on...


    awesome postie! that was hilarious!
  15. Tara-Ancalime Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2003
    **shakes head and can't decide whether to be stunned, suprised, confused, sorry, or weirded-out** :p

    **decides to be all of the above**

    Awesome posties, from a new reader! ;)
  16. ROGUE_49 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 4
    [face_laugh] ROTFL

    That is just too funny. I immediately thought of my friend Nick who loves to play with the pirate image, though he usually just sticks with the Arrrrrhhhhhhh!! pirate lingo, lol, not such extreme measures as Kyp.

    -Rogue
  17. Shinar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2002
    star 4
    lol, I think I'm going to fall of my chair now. . . [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
  18. Twin_Suns_Leader Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2002
    star 3
    [wipes away tears] I see you've been busy, while I've been gone! Very funny posts! Poor Jag! Poor Kyp...nah, not poor Kyp. ;) funny Kyp. lol.

    :D

    UP!
  19. Jaina-Solo-Fel13 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2002
    star 3
    Have I not replied? How has sucha sithly occurance come to be? Oh well, here I am now! :D Great post! Kyp..flexing his muscle. Very interesting. I want some Bar Chested Jaggie! :D Teehee!
  20. Jaina_Fel_06 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 2002
    star 4
    hawkbat: Thanks SO much... [face_blush] [face_blush] He really should! Like the "Dear Abby" columns, we could have a "Dear Kyppie"... :D OMG... the T-shirts... [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I can just see people walking down the streets wearing one of those... [face_laugh] [face_laugh] YES... And wouldn't it be funny of someone like Luke was giving the memorial service?

    Hundred-year-old Luke: Ahem. We are gathered here today to remember Kyp Durron. Infamous for his destruction of Carida, he was also known for his... well... Let's just say he was prone to say things like, "I'm sooo buff... lookin' good!"

    *Kyp's ghost appears*

    Ghost: Jaina! I told you never to tell anyone about that!

    Seventy-year-old Jaina: *cackle*

    Anywaaaaaaay... Thanks again! [face_blush] [face_blush]


    Jjf: Thanks! I'm glad you liked! And, no, Jaggie wasn't hurt... :p


    lordmaul: I have a serious question... Do you giggle, cackle, chortle, chuckle, all of the above, or none of the above? :p Glad you liked! :D


    Lt: Thanks a lot! :D It really wasn't much of a disguise... just some grease here, some grease there, and voila! Long Kyp Durron! :p (Long John Silver... hehe :p)


    Tara: Good to see you here! :D I'm glad you liked!


    Rogue: Hehe, yeah, I was thinking of a certain younger brother of mine as I wrote this... :p Thanks! :D


    Shinar: I'm glad I made you laugh that much... :)


    TSL: YAAAAAAAAAY!!! You're back!!! :D :D I'm glad you liked, and LOL.


    JSF13: I don't know! Shame on you... ;) Bare-chested Jaggie I can do... with pleasure... lots and LOTS of pleasure... ;) [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]



    Alrighty then, folks... The ol' evil hormones ave been driving me insane the last week or so, so I apologize if these last couple of posts seemed a little... unbalanced. This is how I've felt within the last coupla minutes:

    [face_love] [face_blush] :cool: ;) :) 8-} :D [face_laugh] [face_shocked] :_| :( :mad: [face_plain] [face_mischief] [face_devil] :confused: :confused: :confused:

    Basically, I've encountered both ends of the emotional spectrum, along with everything in between. ;) I promise to return to "normal" soon and along with me the posts, and again, JAGGIE WILL NOT BE HURT. ;)
  21. AERYN_SUN Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2001
    star 5
    After all of this trouble with Jag & Jaina, Kyp needs a woman for himself :D Honestly, admiring himself in the mirror. That was just really funny, and well, the whole chapter was which wasn't to surprising :D

    ~aeryn
  22. lordmaul13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 4
    Mostly giggles and chuckles. Giggles and chuckles, that makes me think of S's and G's, if you know what I'm talking about. Hahahaha!

    lordmaul13
  23. Trickster_Jaina_Fel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 3, 2002
    star 5
    ?Are you asking me how I became Kyp Durron? Well, I hope you know the basic mechanics, because if you don?t, I am not explaining the krayts and the gornts to you.?
    ?No; how do you make women flock to you like piranha beetles to raw flesh??
    ?Lovely analogy,? he murmured. ?Well, I don?t particularly notice the piranha beetles, but I suppose it?s because I stole a superweapon, tried to kill my Master, blew up a planet, broke every bone in my body except the three in my ear, and offered my squadron on the proverbial sacrificial altar, so to speak. I don?t know; I guess women find that attractive.?
    Dagran?s mouth had dropped as Kyp spoke. ?I?ll never get her now,? he wailed. ?I don?t know where any superweapons are kept and I don?t have a Master to kill!?


    and...

    What is it about me that invites everyone to share their troubles with me? he wondered. Are my eyes too green? My chin too firm? My features to even? My handsomeness too compelling? Unable to resist, Kyp flexed his arm and admired its reflection. Oh, yeah? I?m so buff? Lookin? good, he thought as he paraded in front of the mirror, humming a jazzy tune.
    Kyp, what are you doing?? Jaina?s thoughts interrupted his own.


    *falls out of chair laughing*

    awesome [face_laugh] job! :D

    ~TJF
  24. Jaina_Fel_06 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 2002
    star 4
    Aeryn: Thankies! Yeah, I think Kyp does need a gal... to keep his mind focused... er... elsewhere... :p


    lordmaul: At first I had no clue what you were talking about, then I remembered, but for that interval I was thinking you were crazy... :p


    TJF: Awwwwww!!! Thanks so much!!!!! [face_blush] :D
  25. lordmaul13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 4
    Thinking? Hmmmm? Only thinking? *insane cackle* :p

    lordmaul13
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