Sex Education in Our School System

Those 16 yo kids should be embarrassed.

 

Embarrassment isn't a very effective contraceptive. It prevents kids from buying condoms over the counter, it doesn't stop them having sex.

 

Embarrassment can stop kids from having sex, if there is a concentrated effort to do so.

 

I think not. The sex drive is a primitive and primeval need. You won't stop it by embarrassing people. That was tried in the past, it was a social stigma to have an unwanted child, but that didn't stop it.

 

It was alot less prevalent, though.

 

It seems like some people here are advocating the if your embarrassed to buy condoms then you shouldn't be having sex. Let me say that in all seriousness, I could be fourty and married and I would still be embarrased to buy condoms. Buying condoms is like standing in line saying "Yep, I'm gonna have sex tonight" I just don't really want to share that with people. And often, people at drug stores etc. make it worse for teenagers. I remeber the very first time I bought a box, I was like sixteen and the cashier (in her twenties) says VERY LOUD "better safe than sorry eh!" Another time, I was harrased by the clerks who made me show them an ID because they wnated to know how old I was, they then went on to make coments about how unfair it was that they were "working" when I was about to be "workin'" I wanted to die. No teenager should have to put up with this stuff. In many cases the resuly is simply that the teenagers don't get the condoms because the fear of the clerks - but they have sex anyway.

Second, this whole concept about teen sex being so much more prevelant today, there are other things that we need to consider besides the availability of contraceptives and the loosening of morals. In the past, the reason that we did not have a lot of pregnant unwed teenagers was that a lot of teenagers were married. Even into the thirties many many men and women were getting married in their late teens. The vast majority of teens have always had sex, they just used to be married. As the average age of marriage has gone up(due to economic conditions, the mobility of people during the early phase of their carrer, and the necessity of a college degree), so has the number of people engaging in pre marital sex because, and I don't mean to offend here, but not having sex untill you are twenty seven is pretty unnatural.

So, to make a long post short (too late) your darn right we should pass out the condoms. There should be jars of them in the nurses office, or better yet, just have a dozen put in every students locker each week (I'm just kidding on that one). Make it as easy as possible for teens to get them. Now I am not saying that we should not promote abstinence, and try to reduce the amount of sex (I personnally am more concerned with the # of partners than the age) I just want us to be realistic. No matter what you think about the morallity of pre marital sex, I would hope you agree having sex should not be a death sentence, nor should a young girl have to make a decision about wether or not to get an abortion.


Okay, I am going to bed now - but i was serious about the 40 thing. Till the day I die the condom box will be hid in the grocery cart between the frozen dinners and the Orange Crush

 

Hi KR! Great minds think alike.

FakeHandLuke: Amen.

I saw this cartoon one time. It showed an airbag, and the caption said, "Encourages teenagers to have fatal car accidents." Then it showed a fire extinguisher, and the caption said, "Encourages teenagers to play with matches." Then it showed a condom, and the caption said, "Encourages teenagers to have sex."

A question for you guys who are opposed to sex education: how many of you, especially those in your teen years, can honestly say that you don't think about sex, and don't have the urges? (Don't answer that, just think about it.) I've been around enough teenagers, and was one myself at one time, to know that you don't need a scientific discussion in a classroom in order for the thought to cross your mind.

I am a little offended by the idea that we teachers are "promoting" teen sex. What in the world makes you people think that those of us in the education system would actually want a bunch of kids to have sex? If some of us are in favor of widespread sex education, it's because we see pregnant kids walking around and would like to prevent that, and we know that teaching abstinence to the exclusion of everything else, which my state does and we still have pregnant kids walking around, is not realistic.

How is giving students information about birth control, while emphasizing that abstinence is the only fullproof method, "promoting" sex?

 

I think kids should be taught about what the consequences of sex are. In Australia, most schools have Sex ed in grade nine (13 years old)...that is way before the age of consent, but it means that people have three years to make any decision. Teachers know that their pupils will probably engage in some sort of sexual activity before they leave school, but the ones I have talked to would rather that the kids knew the consequences and what it was about so they could make the decision conciously themselves, rather then the teaching not saying anything and the kids doing it anyway and becomming pregnant...

Kithera

P.S: Condoms were handed out in Sex ed, just the same as pads and tampons were handed out to the girls in their sex ed class...

P.P.S: I don't know if it has any relevance, but in the five years I was at highschool, no-one became pregnant...

 

I saw this cartoon one time. It showed an airbag, and the caption said, "Encourages teenagers to have fatal car accidents." Then it showed a fire extinguisher, and the caption said, "Encourages teenagers to play with matches." Then it showed a condom, and the caption said, "Encourages teenagers to have sex."

Getting in a fatal accident is not fun. It is not something kids strive to do. Playing with matches, unless you are a pyromaniac, is not fun or something kids strive to do. However, having sex is fun. Kids will strive to do it. Therefore you cannot compare air bags and fire extinguishers to condoms. If you give a kid a condom you are condoning sexual activity, whether you intend to or not.

anakin_girl, I was not saying that teachers promote teen sex. I said handing out condoms in class condones it. Think about it. If your mom was telling you, "You shouldn't have sex. But since I know you're going to do it anyways, here take this condom and be safe about it." Wouldn't that say to you that your mom doesn't want you to have sex, but if you do it's ok? That is condoning it.

Webster's definition of condone: "to pardon or overlook voluntarily; especially to treat as if trivial, harmless, or of no importance.

Sex-ed should be taught in schools, but if we hand out condoms as well, we are condoning a dangerous activity amongst students. We can educate them about the different methods of birth control, but those methods shouldn't be handed out freely!

 

With all due respect to you Mrs_Mayimnaar, I don't think the analogy you give works. I see it more like this.


Driving very fast is fun, teens love to do it, airbags stop them from dying in the no fun car crash

Playing with matches is fun for lots of people, not just pyros(ever wonder why guys love to grill?), Teens, especially teen boys will do it. the fire extinguisher keeps them from experiencing the not fun Burning to death.


And yes having sex is fun, and teens will do it, the condom keeps them from experiencing the not fun Aids.

Sorry, I just equate the Sex with the driving, not the car crash, and the car crash with Aids and pregnancy.

EDIT = Rereading the posts, I can see how your analogy actually does follow what was said in a perfectly litteral sense, I just think they were not trying to be quite that literal.

I have never heard a teen say, oh If my car didn't have an airbag I would drive slower.

However it does appear we can agree that car crashes and Burning to death are NOT FUN and sex is fun. So, we have the begining of common ground.

 

So what if they are embarassed? Tough luck, I say. I dont think the public school system has any business providing such things to their students. Thats not their job. Besides, I would imagine such a decesion would not go over well mith most parents.

 

I'm sure someone else has said this, but if someone is too embarrassed and immature to go up to a counter and buy a condom than they have no business getting intimate with some girl. Grow up. Buy a condom from the pharmacy like an adult and learn responsibilty. Schools shouldn't spoon feed them.

They do not pass out condoms at my school, and everyone I know who has sex practices safe sex, and by going out and buying the condom/pill on their own. We haven't had a case of teen pregnancy in our school since 1987. I chalk it up to the mixture of natural conservatism in our school and to the unflinching, purely biological teaching of our sex-education class.

 

McNerf: If the decision isn't going over well with parents, maybe the parents should take the initiate to teach their children themselves, rather than never saying a word about how the human body operates and then wondering why their daughters come home pregnant at age fifteen.

Aside from that--I have mixed feelings about handing out condoms in school. I personally wouldn't want to hand them out in my classes--I'm envisioning a lot of 12-year-old boys using them as balloons, or filling them up with water and throwing them at people, or otherwise using them for practical jokes. I do believe, however, that they should be made available, and in a place where the teen would not be embarrassed to go get one. If school is the only place for this, then so be it.

 

Arianna, with all respect, I really disagree. Most people who buy condoms, regardless of age and marital status find it embarrising, especially the first few times. I admit I find it less embarrising now, but that is less because of my age, and more because it is no longer something new, and it is also because I can buy them along with all the other groceries so its just one more thing with the crest and Entemans doughnuts. When you are a teen it's not like you have a bunch of stuff to buy. You go and buy condoms and you pretty much stand there in the express line holding condoms and a pack of big red. Even today I would find that embarissing. I know married people who hate doing it. And I think this is magnified in a lot of teens who simply want to draw no attention to themselves in the store. Did you read my post about the things i have heard from clerks?

Now, I am not saying this should be an excuse for not using birth control, but should we really have to put kids through this? (heck, i think they should pass out condoms at work so I don't have to buy them) And also, not everyone has the educational and self confidence level we may have. Some people won't buy the condoms, it may not be ok, but they wont, someone will get pregnant, and my tax dollars will pay for the delivery. Finally, there is the simple fact that condoms are getting kind of expensive, and not all kids can afford them.

By the way, I just realized, I probably should not say "pass them out", not I don't think that is a good idea, mainly because it is a waste, most will end up as water balloons, but I mean make them available at school.

Now, I suppose you could look at my post and say, man this guy has some serious hang ups about buying condoms, maybe he needs psychological help. But come on, did you read my post with the cashier - TRAUMA!

Please don't be mad at me Arianna! I just disagree with you.

 

"Even today I would find that embarissing. I know married people who hate doing it."

*raises hand* ME!

I'm not a modest person, and I will buy them, but I'm not crazy about it, especially if there's a male cashier behind the counter giving me one of those "Hey baby--getting some tonight?" looks.

But I buy them anyway, because my husband hates doing it even more than I do.

 

Ok, I have to walk into the the dang Albertsons once a month and buy pads. And I somehow always grab the one that's on sale and therefore is being broadcast all over the grocery store (a la Mr. Mom) and I just KNOW people are looking at me and checking my pants for stains. But I deal with it. I go in there. Fine, be embarrassed, but be an adult. Someday, these kids won't have schools to pass out condoms for them, and then they will be embarrassed and instead of going in and buying it they will just not do anything and get someone pregnant.

I still say don't spoon-feed 'em.

 

The difference is, Ariana, that when a teenage girl buys a box of pads or tampons, the cashier and every other adult in line isn't going to be looking at her like, "How old are you?" "Are you old enough to be doing this?" or "Oooo baby!"

Like I said, even I get the latter reaction, and I'm wearing a large gold band and a diamond on my left ring finger.

 

OMG Ari, I was embarrased just reading your post, and I am a guy, I can not believe what you said. I see your point though, and it might be that women have a different perspective on this issue(allthough I have had girlfriends send me in the store because"I am the guy"), and no, there not gonna get them forever (unless they institute my condoms at work idea)but I still think, from a totally pragmatic point of view, it can help prevent teen pregnancy and STD's.

I am really passionate about this issue because of how it relates to the abortion issue, which I believe is tearring our country apart, and dominating politics as most candidates these days are defined merely as pro choice and pro life. And I alos feel that even if you are totally pro choice, and believe a first trimester fetus is nothing but cells and neurons, you have to admit that deciding to have an abortion is a traumatic experience for most women of any age. I would wish that experience on No one. Just as I would not whish the experience of carrying a child, giving birth, and then imediately giving it away on anyone. Now I understand many people have problems with teens having sex. I respect that, but I am sorry to say, the Gennie is out of the bottle, I really believe it will not be stopped and we have to decide whether we believe that we should allow our young women (esp our poor and minority young women) to have to make these choices by punishing them for having sex by withholding information and access, or being pragmatic and trying to stop the larger pain. Please, if you want to minister to these kids fine, if you think they are sinning, tell them, just don't stop me from trying to stop what I see is the worser of the two evils by not allowing me to give them total access to information and birth control.

While many on both sides of the aisle would like to see thier Point of View about abortion win, I would be much happier if the abortion issue would just become academic, and the only way to do that is to end unwanted pregnancy. If there are no unwanted pregnancy then no women are being forced to loose control of their bodies(liberal POV), nor are any unborn children dying (conservative POV). There are only to ways to seriously impact the number of unwanted pregnancys. One is to stop anyone from having sex who is not trying to procreate, the other is to encourage universal access to and full education about Birth control. (I know this will not be 100% effective, but it could truly change the landscape of the country).

Now some people feel way one is the only way to go, but I truly believe it will never happen. Please refer back to my much earlier post about changing demographics inb the past 100 years and the increase in pre marital sex. As long as we require 4 years of college, and live in a society where young people are moving from city to city the first 3-5 years of their proffesionall life, most people will not be able to get married until their mid twenties, well past when we hit sexual maturation. This is not a common occurrence in human history. For a very long time there was not much pre marital sex, because the amount of time a person spent single was substantially decreased (ie it isn't very hard to wait till your 18, it is to wait till your 25).

Now obviously you could say that the solution is to return to an earlier mairrage age, and allow the parents to continue to support the young married couple (which is why many young people I know didn't get married near the end of college, they knew they would be cut off, so they put it off untill they had a job that could support them.) If you want to push for this change, more power to ya. But seriously I don't think it is happening.


Okay, that is enough for now, and Ari, seriously do you actually think that? If thats what was going through my head I would try to find a way to get them online.

 

Yes, that is how I feel about it, esp. when they announce it over the PA system asking "How much off are Always Pads" or if I have to ask where the restroom is. (The 2nd is infinitely worse, because that means they know that right now, at this second, you are very very desperate.)


BTW, was that whole big long post aimed at me? Because if I presented myself like that to anyone, I'm sorry, because last time I checked I wasn't a complete radical.

 

I dont know anyone who enjoys the act of buying a condom. It is an embarrassing act which is a neccessity so you do it. Well except this one time i was pretty excited about buying them, handing out high fives and such, but that is not a subject for these boards

 

BTW, was that whole big long post aimed at me? Because if I presented myself like that to anyone, I'm sorry, because last time I checked I wasn't a complete radical.


No, not at all, I never got that impression from you, I was just anticipating other criticisms I have heard in the past. Was the post that bad? I am so sorry if you thought I was attacking you.

And yeah, I kind of went on a tagent about the age of marriage thing, woops bad wandering mind, bad wandering mind.

 

Ari, you may not be a radical but in the words of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "You're a totally radical dudette!"

Sorry, couldn't help myself,I am dork, its amazing I ever had to buy condoms.




High five Sleazo!

 

thanks for the high five, it was a wild night.


Kids are going to have sex, lets face facts, we are better off showing them the right way to do it before they make a mistake that haunts them for the rest of their lives,.
Saying you can stop them from doing so is like saying you can stop the suns from setting

 

Wait, why would married people need condoms?

 

They might not want to have kids.