Beyond Sex Is Going To Be A Whole Lot More Interesting - 2012 Death Challenge

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Briannakin, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    Title: Sex Is Going To Be A Whole Lot More Interesting
    Author: Briannakin
    Timeframe: Post-FOTJ
    Characters: Luke, Saba, Corran, Ben, and Jysella
    Genre: Angst, humor, with a little bit of Romance
    Notes: This was written for THE SECOND DEATH CHALLENGE! I picked number 6 so I have to kill Luke, Saba, and anyone else I want and they have to die by Guillotine. I wasn?t feeling quite as evil this year, so there will be no baby killing. My plan is to make you sad, then make you laugh your pants off. Let me know if I succeed.


    ?On the most tragic day,
    You lost your mother,
    On the most tragic day,
    A father is taken from another."




    Jedi Master Ben Skywalker sat on the small wood bench inside his cell, fidgeting. Jysella, his wife, was going to kill him. Corran, his father-in-law, was going to bring him back to life just so he could skin him alive then kill him again. That is, if he survived this. His solo mission to assassinate the corrupt ruler of the Juioin province of Ashuan, Comandeer Nink, had gone horribly wrong and he had been caught.

    Jedi were forbidden here. His trial had been swift and now he faced the traditional capital punishment here: the guillotine. His lightsaber had been taken and he was surrounded by ysalamiri. All citizens were on high alert for other Jedi. Unless someone was stupid enough to come rescue him, he was kriffed.

    He would die here. His wife?s face flashed before his eyes along with the faces of his four children: Corra, Anakin, Marak and Lucia. He let a tear fall, but composed himself as he heard footsteps. He saw his jailer, a nasty looking male twi-lek, enter. Ben was almost positive it was his time.

    ?A deal has been made,? the jailer said in his gruff voice, unlocking the door. ?You are free to go.?

    Ben was dumbstruck. ?What?? He then watched as another three jailers came in, their blasters trained on three new prisoners with their feet shackled. They were his father, Luke Skywalker, his father-in-law, Corran Horn, and another Jedi Master, Saba Sebatyne. They were all in their eighties but all still were powerful beings. They all looked defeated.

    ?Dad?? Ben gasped, running up to him.

    Luke grabbed his son and held him. ?Look Ben, we don?t have much time. We tried to get you out of here and we managed to strike a deal with Comandeer Nink. You need to go now before he changes his mind. The Shadow is outside. Take it and leave,? his voice was demanding.

    ?Dad? What was the deal?? Ben asked, afraid.

    ?Your life for theze onez,? Saba answered.

    ?What?? Ben practically screeched. ?No, I?m not doing this. My life is not worth your three.?

    Corran swallowed hard. ?Ben, a deal has been made and we willingly agreed. You need to go now and look after my grandbabies. Jysella is pregnant again. I do not want that baby not knowing his or her daddy.?

    With tears in his eyes, Ben nodded and hugged his father, the man who raised him and taught him everything. ?Are you sure about this, Dad??

    Luke nodded. ?I can think of no better way of leaving this galaxy than saving my son,? he said with a small smile. ?We are all ready to go. Saba wants to see Bela, Kraasov and her bondmates. Corran is ready to be with Mirax again. And you know half of me died with your mother all those years ago. I?ve missed her so much. I?ll miss you, but I need to be with her again.?

    Ben let his tears fall freely. ?I?ll miss you too. I love you Dad.?

    Luke held his son fiercely. ?I am proud of you. You make me so happy. I will love you until the end Ben.? He kissed his son?s forehead.

    Ben hurried out. Before he left, he sobbed, ?Make sure Mom doesn?t get too pissed at me.?

    ?You know your mother Ben. I can?t make her do anything.?

    * * *

    Luke, Corran and Saba stood at the bottom of a stage erected in the center of the town square. Patrons ready to see three infamous Jedi Masters die, one of them Grand Master Luke Skywalker. Comandeer Nink was making a longwinded speech about the weakness of the Jedi. Little did the comandeer know, his water supply was go
  2. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    The Force DOES have a twisted sense of humor.

    Luke will now have to remember to keep track of his head.
  3. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    I saw a movie where something like that happened...I think it was Reannimator. I hope that is not permanent. After all Anakin Skywalker got the young Force Ghost Retcon. So we know Force ghost forms are changeable.
  4. ginchy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2005
    star 4
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    They need to go find Anakin and find out how to get the hot young body back. Or maybe Luke just trusted Obi-Wan and got screwed. LOL!!!

    Too sad and then TOO funny, girl. Love it!
  5. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    That's what I say, we need a young Obi-Wan! What's the use of becoming "More powerful than you can possibly imagine." if you can't get a hot Force ghost body!! I have people argue with me saying, "No, you go back to the Force ghost you looked like when you were last a Jedi." Well, then why did the OT originally have an old Anakin in Jedi robes? It is an obvious Retcon. I want to see a sexy young Obi-Wan ghost!

    I guess Luke was just lucky he wasn't burned at the stake or he would have went back to Mara looking like Freddy Kruger.
  6. Raphire Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 19, 2008
    star 4
    LOL. You really are a master at the mixture of sad and humorous. I loved this one and you wrote it so fast!!!

    Brava!
  7. LoriLynn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 13, 2011
    star 1
    That was...perfect. I was really bracing myself to cry (especially when I heard Mirax was dead)--and I will admit that I got a little emotional--but then I just laughed like there was no tomorrow.

    Luke being headless in the afterlife = priceless. Hopefully they will figure out a way to fix that little predicament--knowledge I am sure they will pass on to Corran and Mirax--or possibly hold hostage from them [face_thinking]

    And that last line...well let's just say it evoked a few dirty thoughts that I won't express here. [face_blush]
  8. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    sadnes mixed with fun. I loved this
  9. Mondra Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 12, 2010
    star 1
    Allright, I'm laughing my pants off, so I can't write a coherent review, sorry![face_laugh]
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