Beyond Shadows of Maybe - {A Dark L/M AU} COMPLETED

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by vader_incarnate, Mar 11, 2004.

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  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I want you to know I printed this out and read it again and it was even CREEPIER this time around. SHIVER! My innocent little Luke is evil? I can't believe how good this is (gosh, did I just insult-didn't mean to!) but it really creeps me out. Kind of like my fear of closets after I read The Bogeyman by Stephen King. Yikes!
  2. Jaina_Solo_15 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 5, 2002
    star 6
    Whoah! Seriously, this was just amazing. I think you have officially converted me to liking Dark fics if they're even half as good as this one. The tension between Luke and Mara was so them and surpassing even the fact that Luke was all evil. And believe it or not, I loved the ending. It fit the story very well.
  3. Gabri_Jade VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2002
    star 5
    Late, but here. ;)

    He was watching her, a quizzical expression upon his face. "I didn't think you'd know how to do that yet," he told her, raising an eyebrow. "Even that much control of the Force could have helped you earlier, you know."

    I almost laughed here, Elli. It's dark, but it's so casually dark - it never occurs to him that this isn't something you say to a person about to die. Such total lack of concern for anyone else's feelings is a fantastic character trait for a Sith Lord. :D

    Like a little boy inspecting his new toy ... albeit an insane, sadistic, and evil little boy ...

    "Whatever shall I do with you, dear?" he mused, ignoring her poisonous glowering. "It would be a shame to kill you, because then you'd be all gone ... but, still, it'd be so much fun."


    :eek: Elli-girl, this is so perfectly dark and twisted and perfect! Shivers galore!

    He brought a hand to her head ...

    ... and withdrew the clasps that held her hair pinned up. She had put her hair up before the fight, knowing that it would get in the way, but now ... he took them out one by one, letting loose the cascade of fiery hair that habitually hung to her shoulders.


    Even MORE creepiness! :eek: Shivers don't even begin to cover it here.

    "I didn't expect her to be so beautiful," he growled seemingly to himself, almost snarling with what sounded surprisingly like desperation.

    :eek: How deliciously unexpected!

    "You ... you're that last one. The most powerful. Odds are that, had my Master not found me all those years ago, he would have taken you as his student. If things had gone differently, our positions would have been reversed. That's why, I figured, we had that bond ... you're a shade from a past that might have been.

    Lovely explanation! :D

    "I hate you," he whispered again, stepping forward to gently trace a hand down her cheek. She shuddered at the tingling sensations elicited by his touch; despite whatever lies she told herself, she was equally torn between jerking away from the cool caress of his fingers and leaning more deeply into the intimate feel of his hand. The look in his eyes, the touch of his skin, the cadence of his voice -- all belied the meaning of his words.

    Ah, if it hadn't been a dark fic, my reaction would have been [face_love] This way, though, it's even more effective. [face_devil]

    "I hate you," he murmured, eyes still full of that emotion she didn't want to contemplate, hand gently stroking her cheek with something akin to tenderness, "because, had things been different ... I think I may have loved you."

    :_| :_| :_|

    (And those aren't just to up your :_| count! :p )

    He pulled away from her, carefully letting her onto the ground as he regarded her with his beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that were filled with that indefinable emotion -- after all, who could define love? -- and a weary resolve. Eyes that were windows to his soul, the soul that was screaming in agony and despair at his intention. Eyes that let her see into his heart, all the hatred and anger ... and the one spot of light, the one shadow of maybe that would have been -- might have been, could have been, should have been --

    :eek: :eek: [face_shocked]

    :_| :_| :_|

    And then his voice, his warm breath whispering into her ear -- "Goodbye, love."

    *shrieks, even though she saw it coming*

    Elli, my dark-minded darling, the dark chocolate analogy is simply perfect. Dark, dark, dark, yet irresistable! :D I'm really amazed at how beautifully and eloquently and believably this story unfolded. Just wonderfully heartbreaking, whether he killed her here, or whether the plot bunnies bite until you write more. :D I adore it. [face_love]

  4. Ramya Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2003
    Wonderful story! *shivers* Never knew I could love a dark Luke so much, but you made him irresistable :eek:

    The interplay between them was fantastic (Loved how he seemed to have an inner conflict going on) and I could definitely picture them, they kept enough of their essential personality but were twisted in just the right way (despite being a Sith, Luke still comes across as a boy, "albeit an insane, sadistic, and evil little boy" :D)

    [face_mischief]*goads on the plot bunnies* Would love to see why Luke would spare his toy and what Mara's reaction would be :)
  5. EmilieDarklighter Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2002
    star 4
  6. Stormtrooper_Shrink Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2004
    star 4
    :eek:

    HOW did I miss this on its run? I think it's time for a visit to the oculist for me...

    It was awesome! There's a sadistic dark-side streak in me that absolutely revels in stories of this sort! Fantastic! Please give into more of your dark bunnies. If you turn out this sort of absolutely magnificent fanfiction every time you do it, I'll... *tries to think of a reward great enough*...*gives up*

    I'll be eternally grateful! How's that?

    Magnificent!

    EDIT: :_|!
  7. EmilieDarklighter Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2002
    star 4
    Shrink darling, ALL her bunnies are sadistic. We don't need her giving into all of them! *is scared* Except the ones that pertain to this story...
  8. vader_incarnate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2002
    star 4
    leia_naberrie - Because where you live, drop-dead gorgeous, totally powerful Sith Lords that propose to women that want to kill them are a dime a dozen?

    ;) Well that would be an interesting universe indeed. :p I call dibs on Xani ...

    What! He kills... me?

    *looks up at prior comment and thinks about the implications ...* Ew! He's your brother! [face_shocked] :p ;)

    There's torture and nookie in the same post! And the end was just perrrrrrfect!

    [face_blush] Nookie? *blushes more* ... But aye, one of the few instances out of total squickiness where those two can kind o' go together. ;) But thank you! :)


    Jayden112233 - *jumps up and down excitedly* A possible sequel??? And Luke might not have killed his "toy". Well, a Mara fan can only hope.

    *points to notebook* I'm thinking about it. ;) But it'll be a while before it's actually up and all ... *shrugs* Between badminton and school and TKD I'm barely surviving as it is. o_O


    DarthIshtar - Yeah, I agree. The line about hating her for that one reason was so true to form, so tragic.

    :D Thanks! :) I think that was one of the bases for the fic, or at least I tried to make it so -- exploring the differences between love and hate and whether or not soulmates really are connected by things beyond circumstances.


    VaderLVR64 - Amazing story, Luke was just so darn evil! The ending was horrible and wonderful all at the same time. Okay, off to cry now, and you promised tissues so better get moving!

    *broad grin* Thanks, babe! *hands industrial sized tissue box* Here you go, babe ... these'll last you for a while, hopefully. ;)

    Kind of like my fear of closets after I read The Bogeyman by Stephen King.

    *laughs* You should have seen me after I read Pet Semetary. o_O Wouldn't go near cats for soooo long ...


    kayladie97 - I couldn't come close to how wonderfully horrifying this is! (That's a compliment, really! )

    *giggles* Considering the fact that I wrote this mainly to appease evil plot bunnies and to try to earn a few extra crys from the audience ... I think I can take that as a compliment. ;) Thanks!

    The kiss was incredible...not just because of passionate intensity, perhaps, but because we ache for knowing what could have been, what should have been, right along with Luke...and Mara, for that matter.

    *bounces* Yay, so maybe I'm not accidentally writing PG smut! [face_blush] That has been aggrieving me so much you wouldn't even believe it ... but this explanation makes me feel better. :) Thank you!

    But if you want to show us the alternate ending, I will be happy to read it!

    *checks outline* Alternate ending looks like it's going to be rather epic at the moment. [face_blush] But I think I'm going to take a leaf out of oba's book and not post it until I have at least a fair amount finished this time ... not leave y'all at a huge cliffhanger like last time. [face_blush] [face_devil] Thanks, babe!


    DARTH_MARIANA - *laughs* I think there well may be a sequel. o_O We'll see if time permits ...


    LP - :p But we all knew that already!


    Emmi - Thanks for all the ups, twinnie dearest! *massive huggies* :D [face_love] Love you, hon!


    Jedi Trace - That has to be the most disturbing L/M fic I've ever read - I actually got a little queasy. (And it takes a LOT to make me queasy. )

    *giggles* Sorry, babe -- wasn't going for queasy. ;) *hands over a bottle of that pink stomach medicine stuff* And aye, the ending of RotJ will solve anything. I'm partial to the scene with Vader taunting Luke out of the dark overhang, myself ... no, I'm not obsessive ...


    Jaina_Solo_15 - Whoah! Seriously, this was just amazing. I think you have officially converted me to liking Dark fics if they're even half as good as this one.

    I think that part of the attraction behind writing dark!fic, at least for me,
  9. EmilieDarklighter Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2002
    star 4
    *sighs and thinks about "Some Things"*

    Poor Uncle Vader. You know, I reread that the other day. [face_laugh] There must be more.

    Admit it, darling. All your bunnies have some level of sadisitcity. And I'm not even sure that's a word; just goes to show you just how sadistic you are. But I'm okay with it, as long as you don't go for oba's "bloody depressing". ;)

    Good thing you have a long-lost twin who's obsessed with mush, eh?

    A sequel? *bounces a la Elli* Woohoo! I have ideas dancing in my head as to what happens afterwards myself. I can't wait to see how you do, Elli!

    And my happy ending is epic? YAY! *giggles and continues to bounce*

    *bounces away*
  10. Stormtrooper_Shrink Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2004
    star 4
    *points up* I'm thinking / kind of working on a sequel ... but yeah. It'll be entertaining, promise!

    A sequel? Yay!!! More of this stuff! Death!!!!

    Emilie:Shrink darling, ALL her bunnies are sadistic. We don't need her giving into all of them! *is scared*

    Oh...but dark is good!!! Dark is EVIL!! The Empire Strikes Back was good because it was EVIL!!!
  11. EmilieDarklighter Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2002
    star 4
    Return of the Jedi was better because it was happy. Sort of. ;)

    More! Up!
  12. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    This is what I get for being absent from the boards for several weeks -- missing gems like this! I'm usually not a Dark Luke fan, but this was an exception. Eerily powerful and sad. It reminded me a little of how Luke's killing Mara in 'The Circle' might have happened.

    I loved how Luke hated her because she made him experience feelings that he didn't want to feel. And how Mara couldn't believe that she was drawn to him. Though I noticed she never used the words 'I hate him' in her thoughts. A true Jedi. ;)

    I'm almost glad that it ended the way it did (until you write a sequel, that is). Luke was irredeemable, so if they did get together, Mara would have to turn dark, also. And then they would retrieve Ben, and turn him dark.

    I echo kayladie's sentiments. THIS is why I'm such a slow writer -- I keep reading all these excellent fics that prove how pitiful my attempts at writing are.
  13. DARTH_MARIANA Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 3
    *chants* sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel!
  14. EmilieDarklighter Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2002
    star 4
    *thwacks Michele* You are NOT pitiful!
  15. Gabri_Jade VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2002
    star 5
    Nope, you're not, Michele - but I often feel that way myself. ;) :p

    *huggles Elli again* [face_love]
  16. kayladie97 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2003
    star 4
    Emmi, you thwacked Michele before I could! :p Anyone who can do an epic story like Journey of Discovery is most definitely NOT pitiful.

    I'm trying to work on the self-esteem, though, so I won't say anything more about my own writing. ;) Although, I will admit that I couldn't write Dark Luke to save my life! Guess it's a good thing we have authors like Elli to do it for us, huh? :D
  17. vader_incarnate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2002
    star 4
    Emmi - I liked Return of the Jedi because of the nice resolution it brought to everything; ESB brought a distinct element of darkness into the Saga, and RotJ gave it a happy ending while managing to concurrently acknowledge the darkness for what it was. Great movie. :)



    Michele - Don't mind if I call you that, do you? ;)

    I'm usually not a Dark Luke fan, but this was an exception. Eerily powerful and sad. It reminded me a little of how Luke's killing Mara in 'The Circle' might have happened.

    *bounces* Ooh, I hadn't even thought about that! I need to catch up ... but aye, "The Circle" is a great story; I love how she connects everything to everything else, especially with the added trials of writing with an almost entirely original cast of characters, and the means she used to twist the Saga around. Of course I like Dark Luke in general -- personal quirk. :D

    I loved how Luke hated her because she made him experience feelings that he didn't want to feel. And how Mara couldn't believe that she was drawn to him. Though I noticed she never used the words 'I hate him' in her thoughts. A true Jedi.

    An accident, that, I assure you. [face_blush] I'm just not that clever -- though it makes a great deal of sense when I hear it from others. :) I'm a closet romantic; I believe in soul mates and love at first sight and redemption and the whole barrel of things you see in the mushiest romantic movies. I just tend to express that idealism in strange and twisted ways. :p

    I'm almost glad that it ended the way it did (until you write a sequel, that is). Luke was irredeemable, so if they did get together, Mara would have to turn dark, also. And then they would retrieve Ben, and turn him dark.

    *whistles* Well, that'll make the sequel interesting, won't it? :D [face_devil]

    I echo kayladie's sentiments. THIS is why I'm such a slow writer -- I keep reading all these excellent fics that prove how pitiful my attempts at writing are.

    It's a good thing you've been thwacked so many times, or I'd add my own. ;) You're not pitiful, babe! And while I hold a certain degree of hubris for my own work, to my woe, I also know that this isn't the best of the lot either; there's some really extraordinary work out there that makes me feel rather pathetic. We're all in the same boat, once you get down to it. :D



    DARTH_MARIANA - *chants* sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel!

    Working on it. [face_devil]



    Emmi - *thwacks Michele* You are NOT pitiful!

    *giggles* Goes so well with your "Disciple of the Thwack Side" title, twinnie. ;) *huggies!*



    Gabri - Nope, you're not, Michele - but I often feel that way myself.

    :eek: You are not! You're ... you're ... Gabri! Den Mother extraordinaire! *huggies*



    kayladie97 - Although, I will admit that I couldn't write Dark Luke to save my life! Guess it's a good thing we have authors like Elli to do it for us, huh?

    *laughs* And a good thing I enjoy it so much. ;)
  18. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    Have I been thwacked enough times? Remember, you all haven't seen Book 3 yet. (Except for Gabri, to whom I haven't sent any new chapters for months.) I guess everyone tends to think everyone else can write better than they can. We must be a modest bunch here. ;)

    Seriously, this was a great story, and I'm looking forward to the sequel, no matter how it turns out. :D
  19. Marsa Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2004
    star 2

    Wow

    I think you really are Vader incarnate.


    This was very good. But, I wouldn't have had the courage to do it. I like happy endings too much.

    Awesome though, Thanks for the read, ~Marsa


  20. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2003
    star 4
    Wow, Elli. This was thoroughly enjoyable. Intense. Creepy.

    This can't be the end, this can't be the end . . . why can't the good guys win just once? I liked her humor, even in the face of her inevitable death.

    "Oh well. Just thought it'd be polite to offer," he quipped. He brought up his hand, fingers splayed, and she slammed into the wall with agonizing force. Yikes. Luke's humor just makes him that much more evil.

    You're a wonderful writer, girl. :D I hope to see more of your stuff 'round here. :)
  21. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Saw this link in the Reviewer's challange and figured I'd give it a try. I can only say Wow. This was wonderful. I kept thinking that he was going to let her live even to the last second. Am still fanning myself from the kiss!!!!

    Great job!
  22. vader_incarnate Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2002
    star 4
    [face_blush] I'd stopped checking for reviews -- heck, I'd stopped logging on. Thanks, Bel reminding me. :)

    Michele - *laughs* The sequl is being buried under homework and plot bunnies. o_O It should be quite entertaining once I decide to post it, though. :D

    Marsa -

    I think you really are Vader incarnate

    Hon, I couldn't decide whether that comment merited a [face_blush] or a [face_devil]. I'll just give you both as well as a hug. :) It's probably a bad sign that that's so flattering to me personally, but thank you!

    Bel - I stick humor into any random place. [face_blush] Sometimes, as now, I don't even mean to do it ... but looking back, aye, 'tis right amusing. *huggies* Thanks, girl! Thanks for reading my story; I know you don't venture into this forum that much. :)

    dianethx - Thank you! :) It's an honor to hear praise from someone so highly regarded in the Before the Saga forum! I have to check out the Reviewer's challenge now ... and thank you for the praise!
  23. Jaded_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2001
    star 4
    Ooooh! *shiver* This was SUCH a good dark L/M fic! Brrr! Shivers galore... and psychotic Luke is still HOT! [face_blush] I'd say more, but it would be pretty much repeating all the stuff people said before me! :D

    Sequel please??? [face_beg]

    Oh, I love your other fics, too! Especially "Some Things"... [face_devil]
  24. StarFighter5 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2003
    star 4
    I loved this. It was dark, creepy, and beautiful at the same time. A sequel could be taken in many different directions and I'd like to see where this goes.

    And That Kiss... WOW
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