NEWBIE: None shall pass. MOD: What? NEWBIE: None shall pass. MOD: I am King of the Boards, Sir Newbie. Will you stand aside? NEWBIE: I move...for no man. MOD: So be it! *cue badly-done music and short fight scene, culminating in Mod giving Newbie a day ban.* MOD: Victory is mine! NEWBIE: Come on, then! MOD: What? NEWBIE: 'Tis but a scratch. MOD: A scratch? Yer username's off! NEWBIE: No it isn't! MOD: Look! NEWBIE: (looks)...just a flesh wound. MOD: You liar! NEWBIE: Come on, ya pansy! *cue badly-done music and short fight scene, culminating in Mod giving Newbie a week ban* MOD: God be praised! *drops to knees* We thank thee, O Lord-- *Newbie kicks Mod* NEWBIE: Come on, then! MOD: (incredulous)You are indeed brave, Sir Newbie, but the fight is mine! NEWBIE: Oh, had enough, eh? MOD: Look, you stupid bustard, you've got no socks left! NEWBIE: I've had worse! *kicks Mod* MOD: Stop that! NEWBIE: Chicken! *kicks Mod again* NEWBIE: Chicken! MOD: Look, I'll have your leg! *kicks Mod a third time* MOD: Right! *4 week ban* NEWBIE: Right, I'll do you for that! MOD: You'll what? NEWBIE: Come on! MOD: What're you going to do, bleed on me? NEWBIE: I'm invincible! MOD: You're a loony. NEWBIE: The Black Newbie always triumphs! Have at you! *permanent ban* NEWBIE: (looking at stumps) All right...unban me and we'll call it a draw. *Mod shakes his/her head and clip-clops onward* NEWBIE: Oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bustards! Come back and get what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!