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Oceania Shara sucks!

Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by jaimini, Mar 31, 2003.

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  1. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 10

    Yes, sir.


  2. MarvinTheMartian Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 31, 2002
    star 5
    Oh yeah?

    [Plays along with Ender_Sai's bizarre machinations]
  3. Rogue_Product Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2002
    star 4
    This place really is degrading itself to VicFF levels.

    Which is great!
  4. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 10
    Scene 10: A German Prison Cell ------------------------------

    [Ender is pacing about the cell. Marvin is seated.]

    Ender_Sai: I don't believe it. A German prison cell. For two and a half years the Western Front has been as likely to move as a Frenchman who lives next door to a brothel, and last night the Germans advance a mile and we land on the wrong side.

    MarvinTheMartian: Ooh, dear, Captain E, my tummy's gone all squirty.

    Ender_Sai: That means you're scared, Marvin, and you're not the only one. I couldn't be more petrified if a wild rhinoceros had just come home from a hard day at the swamp and found me wearing his pyjamas, smoking his cigars and in bed with his wife.

    MarvinTheMartian: I've heard what these Germans will do, Sir. They'll have their wicked way with anything of woman-born.

    Ender_Sai: Well, in that case, Marvin, you're quite safe. However, the Teutonic reputation for brutality is well-found: their operas last three or four days; and they have no word for `fluffy'.

    MarvinTheMartian: I want my mum!

    Ender_Sai: Yes, it'd be good to see her. I should imagine a maternally- outraged gorilla could be a useful ally when it comes to the final scrap.

    [Footsteps are heard outside the cell.]

    Ender_Sai: Prepare to die like a man, Marvin.

    [Marvin stands.]

    Ender_Sai: Or as close as you can come to a man without actually shaving the palms of your hands.

    [The door opens and Oberleutnant JEDIPAULAW enters.]

    JEDIPAULAW: Good evening. I am Oberleutnant JEDIPAULAW. I have a message from the Baron von Richthoven, the greatest living German.

    Ender_Sai: Which, considering that his competition consists entirely of very fat men in leather shorts burping to the tune of `She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain', is no great achievement.

    JEDIPAULAW: Quiet!

    [JEDIPAULAW slaps Marvin across the face. Marvin falls against the wall.]

    Ender_Sai: And what is your message?

    JEDIPAULAW: It is: Prepare for a fate worse than death, English flying fellow.

    Ender_Sai: Oh. So, it's the traditional warm German welcome.

    JEDIPAULAW: Correct. Also, he is saying: Do not try to escape or you will suffer even worse.

    Ender_Sai: A fate worse than a fate worse than death? Sounds pretty bad.

    * * * * * * *

    Will HawkNC save Ender_Sai and MarvinTheMartian from certain Teutonic discomfort? Will Saintheart rally General Protege_of_Thrawn's support?

    Will we cast a Captain Darling? All may be revealed if I get bored enough later! :eek:

  5. Aragorn2003 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2003
    star 1
    Good Golyl! I am in total anticipation ;)
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