Beyond - Legends "Shatter" - K/J friendship post-NJO AU - POST! 01/06

Title: ?Shatter?
Author: Mandy C (stickster)
Wildly AU, set 10 years after ?The Unifying Force.? Warning: a lot of angst and a character death right off the bat. Starring Kyp and Jaina, though it?s a Jag/Jaina story.
This first part is really short, there'll be more tomorrow. Please tell me what you think. Also, I'm looking for a beta - PM me if you'd be interested.

I. Csilla

She stood alone and apart next to her husband?s body, wearing a black parka over a black dress suit. Her silhouette was stark against the clean, endless white of the Csillan snow field. Every muscle in her body and face was completely still.

Kyp thought she blended in too well with the frozen landscape. She could have been an ice sculpture: cold, immobile, and destined to melt away.

He never thought he would see Jaina Solo so stoic. He expected her to rage, to scream, to fight. He didn?t expect this bone-deep silence.

Then, he hadn?t foreseen this happening.

The last days had been full of unpleasant surprises.

All of the Chiss in attendance looked on her with approval, even admiration. They hadn?t expected this human woman ? a Rebel, no less ? to behave with such dignity.

Kyp didn?t find her dignified so much as disturbing.

At the end of the brief service, Jaina walked up to her husband?s body, which was clothed in the military uniform he hadn?t worn for ten years, and kissed his cracked, dead lips. Kyp shuddered to think how much work it had taken to return the body to a form that resembled its former inhabitant, shuddered to think that they were laying this man to rest already. Jaina, on the other hand, was calm through all of it, allowing no movement or sound to betray the emotions she must have been feeling.

But as she accepted the lit torch from her husband?s father and held it over the pyre, her hand shook ever so slightly, and her carefully constructed walls were let down for the shortest moment.

Kyp was the only one who noticed.

 

good start!!

 

You Killed jag Fel!!! Thank you! It is sad but I just hate the guy. Sorry. It is very well written and I look forward to seeeing what happens.

 

Great start stickster

This first chapter makes the reader want to know more, want to know what happened to Jag, about Jaina's marriage with him, and her frienship with Kyp.

I look forward to see where you take this. If you get a PM list going, please add me to it.

 

Awww, Jag's dead! I wonder what happened to him?

Great start!

 

Nice start! I can't wait to see where you go with this... Poor Jaina!
~JS

 

Thanks for the comments, everybody. I was so excited to get a response This is my first Star Wars fic (not counting a few hideous Luke/Callista things I wrote when I was, you know, ten years old) so it?s really nice to see people enjoying it. A couple specific replies:

Genimay ? Aww, poor Jag! There seems to be a lot of Jag-hating going around...I love the guy, in spite of his hit-and-miss characterization in the NJO (though I didn?t love him enough to keep him around, heh heh). I suppose I?m just a sucker for Jaina, and so anything that makes Jaina happy makes me happy.

Lola64 ? Ooh, PM list ? how would I go about doing this? I?m new to these parts, as you can see. Would I just literally send a PM to a bunch of people, or is there a function...? Aggh. Heh.

Anyway, on with the post ? this is the rest of part one, and it?s quite a bit longer than the first post, and, you know, contains dialogue. Whee!

***

That evening he approached her, trying to think of something to say that wouldn?t be trite, that wouldn?t pour salt into a gaping wound.

?There?s nothing to say,? Jaina whispered as he came up next to her. She saw right through him, as always, though she remained almost completely unreadable to him.

Kyp placed a hand on her shoulder gingerly. Relief coursed through him when she didn?t recoil, more so when she remained whole. He?d feared that she would shatter like glass at his touch.

Instead Jaina leaned into him, pulling his arm around her shoulders. ?How are you?? she asked.

?Shouldn?t I be asking you that question?? he responded, cocking one dark eyebrow at her.

?No,? she stated flatly. ?You already know how I?m doing.? A small, sad smile tried to lift one corner of her mouth, but the somber mood prevailed and left her expression stony.

He restrained the urge to pull her closer to him, into a full embrace, and settled for a light squeeze around her back. ?That bad, huh??

?Worse.? Jaina nudged Kyp and nodded off to his left. ?Incoming,? she said lightly.

A tall Chiss female ? Shawnkyr, he recalled ? came up to them and announced herself with a stiff bow. ?I am sorry for your loss,? she said, and added something brief in Chiss. Kyp figured it was more of the same ? condolences were the word of the day, though Shawnkyr?s felt more sincere than most. There was no mistaking the rasp in her voice or the slump in her usually perfect posture.

Clearly Jaina noticed it too. ?It?s not just my loss,? she said, placing on a hand on Shawnkyr?s shoulder. ?You?ve been a good friend to him since before I ever met him. This isn?t easy for any of us.?

Jaina?s graciousness came as a surprise, and unsure of a response ? or perhaps afraid of displaying the emotion her red eyes barely concealed ? the blue-skinned woman simply set her hand atop Jaina?s, nodded, and walked away.

Once Shawnkyr was out of sight, Jaina took in a long breath and closed her eyes. Kyp took advantage of the pause to try a different approach. ?How are the kids??

?I don?t know,? Jaina said, and he thought that in the space of those three aching words she aged about thirty years. ?They went home with Mom an hour ago. I didn?t want them to come at all. I didn?t want their last memory of him to be?? Her voice cracked and she looked away abruptly. Kyp thought it was the first involuntary show of emotion he?d seen from her all night. ?I didn?t want them to watch,? she finished lamely.

?It gives them a sense of finality.? His voice grew suddenly soft. ?That was one of the hardest things for me as a kid. I never saw my parents? bodies...it was hard to believe it was real.? He hugged her shoulders gently. ?You made the right choice, Jaya, even if it doesn?t seem that way now.?

?I know. I mean, I think I know.?

?Jaina, if you need anything??

?I know, Kyp,? and here was exhausted Jaina again, the woman who?d been left a widow with two children at the age of thirty, the woman who hadn?t slept in four days because she?d spent them planning a funeral for the only man she had ever loved. ?You?re always there. But I?

 

OMW this is so sad. I'm really enjoying this though. Kyp is being so sweet. Can't wait for more.

EDIT: I don't know how you get a PM list going (I'm fairly new too) but if you ever get one please add me to it too.

 

I feel so bad for Syal and Soontir. They have just lost their fourth child. I can't imagine how hard that is.

Awww, his kids!

Okay, you have to let us know what happened to Jag. The curiousity is going to kill me.

Or you could be evil and make us wait longer and beg you for more soon.

 

Thanks for the PM. I got it.

This was so sad. I feel bad for just about everybody.

I wonder why Soontir wouldn't come after the funeral.

And they had kids? Awww. Boy? Girl? Names?

And just for the record Kyp, you are not alone as long as Lola is alive. I'm just saying.

Second great post stickster. You're doing great.

 

Why is this so sad! (That was a silly question, sorry) But still,
Very well written, especially for your first Star Wars fic!
Thanks for the post!
~JS

 

This is soo sad but wonderfully written. I can't wait to see more.
--Wynssa

 

I hate Jag and I am crying! Your writeing is very deep and thoughtful I really can't wait for the next post. A PM would be great too. I want to meet the kids now. Yet I daon't because I can imagine how sad they will be. Kyp is writen prefectly.

 

Seems to be a consensus. Very well written. I would also like to meet the kids.

S.

 

post #3
Hello all! I?m glad you?re liking it so far. And the kids make an appearance a few posts from now...they?re pretty cute I like ?em, anyway. Couple specific responses:
princess_melissa ? Yeah, I really like the way Kyp interacts with Jaina ? he?s such a good friend to her, whether it involves being supportive or kicking her butt I could never decide in the NJO whether I wanted her to get with him or with Jag, they?re both so great.
FelsGoddess ? OK, honest answer is ? it?s not set in my mind what exactly happened to Jag. I have enough of an idea for me to be able to write around it, but I?m still working out the details. I don?t think it?ll factor a lot into the story, though (unfortunately it?s not one of those things he might come back from...*sniff* poor boy!)
Lola64 ? The reason I didn?t have Soontir there is pretty straightforward ? it seems like the kind of thing he?d avoid. He?s done his duty at the ceremony, and now that there?s nothing for him to do in an official capacity, he?s probably going home to have a breakdown, because there?s no chance he?d do it in public, and like Shawnkyr, he doesn?t want to run the risk of revealing the extent to which this has affected him :\ Thus he leaves poor Syal ? ever the actress ? to do the post-funeral meet and greet alone. At least, that?s what I?ve got on it.
...And I?ll pass that on to Kyp
Again, thanks so much to everybody who commented, it means a lot to me I hope you continue to enjoy my foray in the SW ?verse...

This fic is, um, extremely talky. That might change, but not for another few parts (i.e. what I already have written). There will be another post tomorrow, to make up for this one being so short I think there?s more in the replies than there is in the post.

***

Two weeks passed, which surprised no one. Thanks to the war, everyone in the galaxy knew death too intimately to think that time stopped for anyone.

Time certainly hadn?t stopped for Jaina, who appeared at the Jedi Temple four days after the funeral looking as though nothing at all had happened. She brushed off any question as to her well-being and went back to work: mentoring her apprentice, going on minor peacekeeping missions, attending council meetings. Her smile came too easily.

Kyp knew something was wrong. She hadn?t been so focused since the war, all those years ago.

She hadn?t felt this empty since Hapes.

?Hey there, Goddess,? he called as a familiar robed form brushed past him.

?Hi, Kyp,? Jaina said without looking back. ?I?m in the middle of something right now.?

He jogged up to her and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her around to face him. Deciding to behave as she was ? like there was nothing unusual about the current situation ? he asked, ?Something exciting I should know about??

?It?s nothing. Something with Narena,? she replied, shrugging him off.

Kyp tossed Jaina a wide grin as he pictured the sinewy Twi?lek. ?Sure I can?t do anything to help??

He was repaid with a look that was equal parts disgusted and amused. ?Kyp, your attraction to younger women might have been somewhat understandable when you were thirty-something, but you?re way too old for this now. So help me, if I catch you anywhere near my apprentice??

?All right, all right, back off,? he said, still grinning. ?Besides, it?s not Narena I?m interested in as much as her formidable Master ? or would that be Mistress??

She rolled her eyes. ?Give it up.? And narrowed them ? ?You didn?t stop me for yet another round of playful banter, Kyp, what do you want??

?Nothing.?

Jaina sighed and leaned against the wall, facing him. ?Seriously, Kyp.?

?I?m worried about you, Jaina,? he said plainly. ?You?ve been working a lot??

?There?s been a lot to do.?

??and I just want to make sure that you?ve...dealt with things.?

?Like the fact that my husband just died?? Jaina asked, blunt as always.

Kyp blanched at the casual way she mentioned it. ?Um, yes. Like that.?

She slid her back down the wall, letting out a long breath. He seated

 

This was so great. I'm totally loving your writing stickster.

Poor Jaina. Don't keep your friend out. He only wants to help.

I cannot wait for more.

You know that's so funny to say. How can I not wait? Do I have a choice?

I'm going to stop saying such silly things for now on.

How about: I look forward to your next post.

But then again if my eyes are looking out of the front of my head, isn't everything forward?

Ok. It's late and I'm being silly. So I think I'll just say: Superb job and goodnight.

 

OMW I love this

Poor Kyp's just trying to help and Jaina won't let him. He'll succede eventaully

?Then, I guess you know something about difficult apprentices.?

As she turned to leave and Kyp found himself watching her walk away yet again, he muttered, ?I certainly do.? LOL

More soon please

 

I'm enjoying this very much, stickster. (Love your name, by the way!)

You have to feel for Jaina, and those around her who want to help but can't get through her defenses. You write her very well.

She slid her back down the wall, letting out a long breath. He seated himself next to her on the cold floor.

For just a second, I thought she might break down...

Ah, well.

Looking forward to more.

oldj

 

Poor Jaina! You have to let your friends in! They will help you!

Great update!

 

Hey, all, sorry this didn?t get posted yesterday. I had the night from hell (can I say that?) taking care of a friend of mine (gotta love the first weekend back at college... :-\), so this didn?t happen last night like I wanted.
Anyway, there will be kids (albeit briefly) in the next post! And then shortly after that, I am planning for some things to actually happen. We?ll see how that works out
The posts will probably continue to be short ? this is because I have a terribly short attention span, and if I try to wait it out for a longer post, I might honestly forget about the whole thing.
Thanks again for the comments, guys, and let me know if you want PMs A couple responses:
Lola64 ? How can I not wait? Do I have a choice?
No, pretty much not Unless you want to do what I do and make up endings for WIP fics during classes, heh. One day I?m going to get caught. (I actually did at work this summer ? I was pretending to be a Newsie and when someone talked to me, I responded in an atrocious approximation of a Brooklyn accent...oh, the humiliation!)
oldjedinurse ? Heh, I?m glad you like the name ? I was trying to be clever and cutesy (and also not use the same name I use in every.single.forum, because that gets awfully boring). And of course, it?s good to pay homage to my favorite SW heroine
You write her very well.
Thank you I worried a bit about her ? I have this fear that every strong female character I write ends up sounding like Buffy, heh. (Of course, now that I?ve said that, everybody?ll notice it...)
For just a second, I thought she might break down...
Oh, not our Jaina It?ll take more than some gentle cajoling to get anything out of her, I think...

***

By the time Jaina reached the apartment ? she couldn?t think of it as her apartment, didn?t want to think about owning such an empty place all by herself ? it was long past dark, and Jaina was long past exhaustion. The idea of picking up her children from her parents? place, which always seemed to include a lengthy and excruciating chat with her mother, was an unappealing prospect.

As the door slammed shut behind her, Jaina walked over to the comm center and, with a long sigh, hailed Leia.

Her face appeared a moment later, the lines in her pale skin and the look in her eyes bespeaking her worry. ?You?re home late,? she said, her voice carefully neutral.

?I know,? Jaina said. ?There?s a lot going on right now.? More than I can handle, she added silently.

Leia?s eyebrows shot up. ?Nothing too terrible, I hope. Things have been going so well??

Jaina shook her head adamantly. ?It?s nothing big ? another civil war on another backwater planet. All in a day?s work for a Jedi, right??

Her mother?s expression was inscrutable as always, but Jaina felt suspicion coming off of her in waves. Finally Leia shook her head and said, ?If you say so.?

?So,? Jaina said, ?I was wondering if you could watch the kids tonight. It?s been a long day and I?m not really up for making the trip over there. I?m not working tomorrow, maybe you could drop them off and we could have lunch??

?That?s fine, dear,? Leia said, a little reluctantly. And after a long pause, added, ?They miss you, Jaina. They haven?t seen much of you lately.?

It took all of Jaina?s willpower not to bring up the many, many times she and her brothers had missed Leia in their childhood, all of the times when Leia had seemingly forgotten all about her children when some new galactic crisis arose. Jaina had worked so hard not to do the same thing to her children?

but tonight, it wasn?t going to happen. Tonight she needed to sleep dreamlessly and to wake alone, without her children serving as a constant, tangible reminder of what she used to have. Maybe if they weren?t present when she awoke, the last twelve years would be erased, and it would feel like her apartment had only ever had one resident.

And tomorrow, Jaina reasoned, would be better anyway. The kids were probably already asleep, and there wou

 

That's so sad. Poor Jaina. Where's Kyp to comfort her?

more soon please

 

This is a really good stroy but it is so sad.

I like it, post more soon!

 

How sad that was.

I hope it's not all this sad. I won't be able to take it. I won't.

*sniff* Great writing *niff* stickster.

 

I hope it's not all this sad. I won't be able to take it. I won't.

Oh no! It'll get happier, I promise (Maybe later rather than sooner, though...)

 

Sorry, didn't reply to the last post... but I'm here now!
Sad. Sad. Sad. How could it get any more worse? (Wait, don't answer that)
As always, a lovely post!
~JS