Saga "Shattered dreams", a graphic Vader novel after Padmé´s death *up-date 5th April book version*

Titel: Shattered dreams

Editor: DarthUncle

Timeframe: Shortly after the events on Mustafar

Place: Vader´s own head and heart

Characters: Vader and Padmé

Summery: Vader is finally able to face the fact of Padmé´s death. He muses how good it all would have been if she had not followed him to Mustafar at all.

Inspiration: I read the new book by Michael Reaves and Steve Perry, a birthday present from DG, on a train between the Netherlands and Germany. While arriving at my parents place the first painting came into my mind and a story attached to it. And when being in the Harz Mountains a couple of days later, enjoying my carnival holidays, I did even more paintings.

Dedication:This story is decicated to arwen_sith who is expecting a baby and will marry soon! She will get a copy from me as soon as I am finished with the story.

Further Vader & Padmé stories:I allready have another graphic novel about Vader, which I gave Ben_Stormrider as a birthday present.

Disclaimer: SW is owned by George Lucas and Lucas Ltd.!!!



Page 1:
Stoic as I may seem, even I have limits to what I can stand, Padmé. When I was finally able to bear watching the recordings of your Naboo funeral ceremony, it seemed to me that you were only sleeping in your coffin. That you could open your beautiful eyes at any moment and gaze back at me; full again of life, trust and love.


Page 2:
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Page 3:
What would have happened to the two of us if you simply would have stayed on Coruscant and waited for my save return? After order 66 blasted Obi-Wan would have never dared to enter our apartment ever again. And if he would have been so bold to bother you with his lies, I would have sent him flying through the air and meet Mace Windu´s fate.


Page 4:
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Page 5:
My new dark master would have thought me all the secrets of Earth Plagius and after he had done so, I would have wiped him out as well. With my profound knowledge over life and death I would have helped you to give birth to our child. I told you once that I would be the most powerful force user of all. Light side or dark side does not matter.

Page 6:
[image=http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n2/AzureAngel2_2006/SW%20pictures/P2220527.jpg]


Page 7:
All the lies and secrets around us would have stopped immediately with the jedi order gone and Darth Sidious extinguished as well. Our marriage would have been made public. You would have been my dark lady, beloved and feared by our loyal subjects. My newly forged empire would have cherished our mighty family.

Page 8:
[image=http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n2/AzureAngel2_2006/SW%20pictures/P2220530.jpg]

 

I like this. The illustrations are really cool. Did you do them?

 

Aww!! This was sad! But good.

The paintings especially are really well done!

 

Heartbrakingly Beautiful Azure!!! Dipicted Ani/Vady's ambition for power perfectly & the paintings are simply gorgeous!!!

 

Yippee, another story with your gorgeous paintings and those texts so fitting for Anakin and his lust for power.

 

Yepp, I did them. Here is my fanart thread.

Dear, LovedAnakin, I am orgiginally a teacher for Art, English and German, but at present I just teach German part-time and do part-time studies at a Dutch university. These days I seldom have time for my hobbies, but a ski holiday in the mountains granted me some time to paint some ideas of mine.

Dear Alasse_Earfalas, the story will continue soon. And yes, it is sad because we all know the outcome.

Dear Lady_Skywalker87, thanks for liking the story and the paintings that go with it.

Dear bird, it is always good to see a familiar face. And I am happy to have made yoou happy.

The story will go on after breakfast, but now I will have a shower and write my husband a shopping list. He will be away from a chemistry conference somewhere in the North of the Netherlands and I return to my teaching duties. But between Monday and Wednesday I will have unlimited power in our flat, indeed.



Page 9:
There is of course another possibility: after returning from my mission to exterminate the Seperatists, I simply could have run far, far away with you to the Outer Rim. Perhaps we could have even settled down on Tatooine, close to my mother´s humble grave. But I am no coward and moister-farming never would have been an option to me. Too much sand.

Page 10:
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Page 11:
No, it is more likely that I would have gotten rid of that greedy old man that blended in too much into my own vision of an empire. While I would have established peace and order, you would have taken care of our child. The miracles of the dark side could have waited for a supple of years. The dark side is patient. And so am I.

Page 12:
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Page 13:
For the media and our troops you would have been an elegant and stunning icon. I would have encouraged you to wear all your dazzling robes of state. But I would have forbidden you that dreadful white make-up you used during your regal duties for Naboo, of course. Your radiant smile was always too pretty to be hidden under a mask.

Page 14:
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Beautiful artwork, wonderful story!

 

Thanks, VaderVR, I am glad you like the story in so far and poped by at my art threat. See,I wanted to make out most of my little carnival holidays. So I flood of words and pictures was in my head. So the snow, the wind in the trees and the misty atmosphere of the mountains on most days just helped me to translate it into a story.

Let us go on now:

Page 15:
And in private I would have asked you to wear all those pretty dresses and sexy night-gowns of yours. Of course I paid attention to all of them over the years. They were the fuel of my dreams during the Clone Wars. Even now, crippled as I am thanks to malicious Obi-Wan, I remember you wearing them for my pleasure only.

Page 16:
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Page 17:
With you at my side, I could have been a different man altogether. I would have altered the teachings of the jedi order and the sith, blended them together for my purpose. There would have been a new way of practising the force. I would have been wild and free with you at my side. You could have been my balance and my tenderness.

Page 18:
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Page 19:
And we would have had enough time for leisure time and family business. We would have visited your home world rather often. Your parents, your elder sister and your two little nieces would have liked that very much. Due to Obi-Wan and his unforgivable deeds they all were forced to run after your coffin, crying.

Page 20:
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Page 21:
If you would have chosen my path and stayed at my side, there would have been no tears or heartbreak, just laughter and love. C3PO and R2D2, who seem to have vanished with Obi-Wan into oblivion, still would be fixed members of our household. Our child would grow up with them and as be fond of them as much as we were. They were family.

Page 22:
[image=http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n2/AzureAngel2_2006/SW%20pictures/P2260012.jpg]

 

great to see those lovely Harz pictures accompanied by those thoughts. Vader is selfish

 

Dear bird, he is a selfish being indeed. And this why it went wrong altogether. And now he muses on:

Page 23:
And our child would have had many siblings, beloved. All of them strong and marvellous in the force. I would have watched them grow in my spare time and there would have been no nagging emptiness in my life. Even my star destroyer Devastator would have been filled with the presence of those that I love and that I can trust.

Page 24:
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Page 25:
During very dangerous missions I would have left you behind, of course. But somehow I have the feeling that with you at my side there would have been no Rebel Alliance at all. You would have managed to keep former fellow senators such as Bail Organa or Mon Mothma in line. There would not have been another thread of a civil war.

Page 26:
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Actually I have two more paintings yet, but those are the last of the story and for some reason I do not wish Vader to finish with his fantasies about "what if" yet.

So if my husband, who was without me for 1 week, does not mind I would like to go on tonight. For when I travelled from the small mountain city of Bad Harzburg yesterday with a slow train I was earlier in Hanover, the capital of County Lower Saxony, then expected. So I went to a big German store and did buy rather expensive aquarel paper.

Oh, I do notice that my husband is already off with the Death Star novel...

Okay, I think I can do as I please tonight as long as I do not take the novel out of his hands...

 

and waiting for more of Vader's musings and the lovely pictures to accompany them.

 

I try my best tonight and within the next few days, dear bird!

 

Awww, I love it so far!!! Keep it up, & thanks for the PM!

 

These are truly inspired.

You have painted a thread of darkness through all of these 'dreams' of Vader's; the shadows falling across the faces, the clone trooper helmets, the traces of sorrow in Padme's and the baby's expressions, the image of Vader's reality - the tortured and mutilated man - in picture/page 14.

I wonder if Vader is as aware of this thread as the reader is? Yet keeps desperately spinning out the fantasy to escape from the painful truth?

Wow.

 

yay! more vader miusings...LOVE IT! feel in inspiered now! the artwork is quite stunning

 

There is a place in his own heart, dear ratna, that he does NOT like to visit, otherwise he would have to admitt things that have gone utterly wrong in his life: the slaughter of the Tusken village shortly after his mother´s death, killing of the younglings and padawans in the jedi temple, the force grip on Padmé´s throat back on Mustafar...

The problem of the dark side of the force is, you are only focused on yourself. But true love and real goodness is, to be there for others and to give things back to your suroundings.

He does not want to be aware of many things, because they hurt too much and it is always uncomfortable to see the truth. Therefore he encloaks his mind in pretty fantasies and half-lies.

Also thanks a million for your kind comments, dear Alasse & Lady!

Okay, after some hetic school days, administration fuzz with disapeared records, unpleasant university surprises and friends in need of my council, some more up-dates:

page 27:
The galaxy that we live in would have been a totally different one. With my dark master gone and me in charge of matters there would have been no secret super destruction weapons build such as the Death Star project or the sun hammer. I would have reigned simply by using the force and receiving your kind advice in private.

page 28:
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page 29:
It still might have been necessary to persuade some few stubborn individuals in a more intense way and I would see it done. You would not be burdened with such things, my dear. Your opinion of democratic principals has always been sweetly romantic and endearingly idealistic. Politics can be sharp and edgy, unlike you.

page 30:
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page 31:
It also would have been necessary to hunt down the last remaining jedi-knights. But those sad affairs would have been spared from your sweet mind. You would have lived in luxury, security and peace with our children. There would have been no silly talk of slaughtered younglings and padawans. No Obi-Wan to spoil things.

page 32:
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page 33:
But I would have needed your precious aid with political affairs and social calls. You were the best queen that ever reigned Naboo. And you were always were one of the brightest and well-liked senators on Coruscant. Your talent for making moving speeches and winning sympathies would have been very useful for our common galactic empire.

page 34:
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page 35:
What I really would have needed from you would have been your radiant smiles and your intoxicating presence. I always found that very soothing. If you would have played by my rules, I would have been your willing slave. I would have been like wax in your gentle hands. You would have been our true master once and for all.

page 36:
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He is so centered on becoming the one ruler and you can see that beautifully in the pictures and the expressions on the faces.

Great update with great moving pictures.

 

(Azure in disguise)

Thanks, bird. Then I did the right things and my husband was a brilliant help in edditing the text!

 

Oh wow, this is amazing! Your paintings are beautiful!!! And it nicely written as well.



Please let me know when you post more!

 

anakin's pipe dream.

does not allow for the real woman that padme is. and that is why he lost her.

how utterly tragic their story is. and how beautifully you have rendered it.

 

Dear ratna, this is exactly why I wanted to tell the story. The Death Star book, that DG did send to us to the Netherlands via MsLanna as a present, was a wonderful scource of inspiration. And due to the text skill of my husband the story is even more spicey.

Dear Darthana, I will put you on the PM list! Thanks for reading!

By the way, the song version of "Hurt" by Johnny Cash did motivate me very much for this story here:

"I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hold
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

[Chorus:]
What have I become
My ssweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way "

 

I'm familiar with the Johnny Cash song. I can see it in overall theme of the story.

 

I love clever sith like you and your sith brother DU. Our holidays together will be fun and with the two of you around I will be rather artistic & full of ideas.

Thanks for the up-date checks, Ty!