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Beyond - Legends Shattered Dreams (L/M, H/L, 5 of 12) - 02 Mar 09

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Rigil_Kent, Oct 6, 2008.

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  1. Rigil_Kent

    Rigil_Kent Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    SHATTERED DREAMS

    Genre: Drama, wildly ? nay ? happily AU.
    Rated: PG-13. Some mild language, adult situations, and some dark tones. Nothing darker than ROTS, though. I think.
    Summary: Episode II of The Unseen War. More isolated than ever, Supreme Chancellor Leia Organa-Solo's destiny unfolds while Jedi Knights Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade investigate troubling rumors that a Sith Lord has been reborn. AU, 12 ABY, L/M
    Disclaimer: I own a big fat nothing. Not my hopes. Not my dreams. Nothing. All were pawned off to pay for school.

    Author?s Note: Begins 6 months after the end of Tyranny Reborn.



    [hl=yellow][b]Chaos threatens to engulf the galaxy. Although a newly declared cease fire has ended the war between the New Republic and the Second Imperium, simmering tensions between the two governments threaten to explode into open conflict once more.

    Obsessed with bringing order and stability to the galaxy, Chancellor Leia Organa-Solo has embarked upon a dangerous new initiative to open peace talks with the leaders of the Imperium against the counsel of her advisors.

    At the same time, Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade continue their desperate search for the elusive Dark Lady of the Sith, Lumiya who has enlisted a deadly new ally no one is expecting....[/b][/hl]

    [hr]
    [b]CHAPTER 1[/b]

    THERE was no response.

    Bathed in a halo of silver light from the ceiling illumination fixture, Xamuel Lennox stood silently in the cockpit of the [i]Sentinel[/i]-class landing craft, his hands clasped tightly at the small of his back and his face creased in the stern frown of a patrician as he watched the co-pilot attempt to make a com-check once more. The uniform he wore was tight, almost too tight, but revealed a body yet unravaged by time despite his age. Though the cabin was already hot from re-entry, he did not sweat ? another sign of his excellent physical conditioning ? and only the slow rise and fall of his chest was proof that he was not an illusion or a hologram.

    The lander spiraled down from the orbiting star destroyer [i]Resilience[/i] and Lennox fought the urge to close his eyes. It had been a long journey for him and he was feeling every day of his forty-five years. Eighty days had passed since the Admiralty presented him with this latest task and he had spent nearly all that time on the command deck of his destroyer as they tracked the renegade force spreading chaos through the quadrant. Sleep had been a luxury for lesser men and now, exhaustion threatened to overwhelm him. By force of will alone, he managed to push it back.

    ?No response, Commodore,? the co-pilot announced, as though Xamuel did not already know this, and Lennox gave him the slightest of nods.

    ?Final approach now,? the pilot declared, glancing once in Xamuel?s direction. The commodore ignored him, instead maintaining his stance and focusing on appearing as the all-knowing, all-powerful being a flag officer should be.

    Flanking the shuttle as it continued its rapid descent were six TIE Interceptors. Built more for vacuum flight, they wobbled uneasily as the planet?s atmosphere threw them around, but the pilots managed to adjust admirably. Xamuel would have preferred to have dedicated planetary assault fighters on an approach like this, but the [i]Resilience[/i] wasn?t equipped with such a need in mind. Two of the Interceptors peeled out of formation, accelerating rapidly, and Lennox nearly smiled. Either the quarry had been sighted or the flight commander was more effective than anticipated. In any event, it was a good omen.

    As the [i]Sentinel[/i] dipped through the atmosphere, the landing sight ? a snow-capped mountain pass ? came into view and Xamuel?s breath caught slightly. Destruction was everywhere. Immense craters dominated the landscape and dark smoke climbed into the sky from crashed starships. Over a dozen snubfighters ? all of a design Lennox hadn?t seen since the Clone Wars ? were on the ground, flames rapi
     
  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Woo! Torious is one formidable clone... I think he's surpassed the original [face_thinking] The Luke/Mara scene was NUM-YUMMY! Love that Mara initiated the deepening of their relationship. :) :) Perfect characterization of them both... :D I love how she was able to ... take his mind off LOL [face_mischief] Very super start! =D=

    Toodles, @};- [:D]
     
  3. DarthXan318

    DarthXan318 Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 12, 2002
    Aaww... :D
     
  4. JediMike2372

    JediMike2372 Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 2, 2008
    This starts off great right from the get go. Can't wait to see what else you have in store for our intrepid heroes.
     
  5. canadianjedimama

    canadianjedimama Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2008
    Clone Anakin is grumpy... that can't be good news for Lumiya. I hope.

    And the L/M was lovely.. as always.

    Can't wait to see where this goes.

    CJM
     
  6. dancing_star

    dancing_star Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 24, 2007
    Awww. [face_love] Lovely!! :*:D
    Fabulous first post!! @};- Looking forward to more! [face_dancing]
    =D= =D==D==D=
     
  7. BunnyFlying

    BunnyFlying Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 19, 2008
    ... your occasional reviewer has dropped in again.....
    amazing chapter.... very nice. Loved the reaction of Luke and Mara (how sweetsweet!) to Vader, as well as the other Imperial.

    Anyways, yay Luke and Mara! Once again, you've written them perfectly..... the chapter made me happy on a long day of horribly tedious math homework (and I think I'm sick too.) Yeah. Can't wait for the next one :).
     
  8. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    Ah, what I always wanted. A L/M who can be in a relationship and yet still kick butt! I can already tell this story is going to be an amazing ride. I love your insights into Mara, and into Luke (and Mara's insights into Luke). Great first chapter, I'm excited to read more! =D=
     
  9. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    What's Djem So?

    Luke and Mara... wow... and there's an Anakin clone mixed up in all this? Woah...


    Good start. :)
     
  10. Rigil_Kent

    Rigil_Kent Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Djem So, aka Form V of lightsaber combat. I quote:
     
  11. ccp

    ccp Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 29, 2005
    Very cool glad to see this storyline moving again.
     
  12. cggunnersmate

    cggunnersmate Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2007
    Wow! Loved the first chapter though I am suprised at the jump forward in L/M's relationship. I'm a guy and I do get annoyed at how the beginning of their relationship can drag out in some fan fics (though still not as bad as the EU, 10yrs for cryin out loud) but I do like to see when they cross the final bridge. Still it's great to see them together and I can understand Luke's feelings regarding Mara's scars. My wife works in a Veterinary clinic and is known as "The Cat Wrangler" but she still gets her hands and arms torn up by psycho cats every now and then, doesn't bother me. In fact I tell my wife she should tell people she got them (scars) from knife fights, heh heh.

    Clone Anakin or Darth Torious is suitably bad ass and I can definitely see The Force Unleashed influence there (the Elites reminded me of the Purge Troopers), which is cool by me. I love Zahn's writing but never really agreed with his toning down of Luke's power, sure he doesn't need to use the Force for simple things but when he needs to he should be able to open and huge can of Force woop ass. This should definitely be an awesome battle.

    Can't wait for more!
     
  13. MaraJade001

    MaraJade001 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2007
    [face_love]:*

    More of that please... now!

    :D

    Awesome first chapter! I honestly didn't expect to see any of SD so soon. I thought you'd wait until your class was over. Not that I'm complaining... [face_whistling]

    I loved the first peek at clone-Anakin. WAY more kick ass than I expected him to be! Very cool! [face_devil]

    Of course my favorite part was the L/M bit. I think we need a Ginchy-addition to that scene. [face_mischief]

    But seriously, it was nice seeing them so close and comfortable with each other. :) Interesting that you chose to have Mara with so many scars that she takes to wearing a body stocking. It's not a bad thing... just something I wasn't expecting. Naturally that wouldn't bother Luke! (One of the many reasons I love the guy!) [face_love]

    Thanks for posting this so soon, RK! You had me on Cloud Nine with this one!

    :::Now back to my "project"::: :cool:
     
  14. Feng_Huang

    Feng_Huang Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 17, 2005
    :eek: Clone-Anakin is way too scary[face_worried]. I found those Elite troops pretty cool/slightly revolting. And I was glad there was a bit of hot fluff amidst the doom and gloom:p
     
  15. Rigil_Kent

    Rigil_Kent Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Nothing can surpass the original. This guy just doesn't have the physical limitations of Vader (having not had his limbs lopped off or been halfway burned alive and all). He's got problems of his own, though...

    It seemed to be the most logical progression from where I took them in Tyranny Reborn. She's the one with trust issues thanks to Palpy, so it would have to be her to do the seducing (so to speak). Not that Luke would complain, of course...

    Blood, violence and other cool stuff. :p

    Well, in his defense, these butt monkeys did shoot him down...

    I feel your pain. I'm working on a major research paper for school myself and, at this point, it's pretty tedious as well...

    Thanks! I'll try to live up to the expectations before me...

    Having seen dozens of fics where the two spend the entire fic bashing out their issues, I figured it'd be okay if I skipped that part and just moved on to the next stage (kicking ass together while being in a relationship). Most fics seem to end right after they get together (with the implied 'and they live happily ever after') so I wanted to do something different.

    We'll have to agree to disagree there, I suppose. I tend to agree with Zahn that some of the stuff the EU had Luke doing (both post-TTT and now in the dark days, the Del Rey days) are waaaaaay over the top. I'm sticking (for the most part) to the movies in terms of power level. As a Skywalker, he's automatically more powerful than a regular Force user, but he's not going to be building a castle out of sand or using Light Side Force lightning (ugh). Sure, Torious just went way overboard here, but he was showing some signs of exhaustion afterwards...

    I was going to hold off on it - I've got this chapter and the next one written - but a friend of mine was reading the site tvtropes.org last night and found this entry about Fix Fics that has a mention of my Star Wars fics (scroll down a bit):

    So, in honor of that "troper", I went ahead and put chapter 1 up.

    Well, I have played through The Force Unleashed fairly recently...

     
  16. cggunnersmate

    cggunnersmate Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2007



    I don't disagree with you, I don't think Luke should be able to free-fall from near orbit after his fighter disintigrates around him and then land like it's no thing (I think that happened in Courtship but can't remember for sure) but he should still be capable of more than your average Jedi (which he was also portrayed to be for much of the Bantam era, Kip seemed more powerful than Luke when he first showed up). But if you go by the movies, Yoda and Papa Palpatine were pretty darn powerful (Duel in the Senate) and GL is quoted as saying that Anakin had the potential to be twice as powerful as Palpy, he and Luke should be capable of some truly amazing feats.

    As for lightside lightning or "Electric Judgement" (cough*gay name*cough)....I don't see Force Lightning as having to be a darkside only power. The Force is energy and Jedi/Sith can manipulate and change that energy into different forms (you can't destroy energy just change it). I could see a Jedi using Force lighting but controlling it and using it more as a disabler (Force tazer for lack of a better term) than a killing/torture technique. At the very least Yoda wasn't above throwing it back at Dooku.
     
  17. JEDIFLYSWATTER

    JEDIFLYSWATTER Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2004
    I am sure that rationally Luke knows that this Darth Torious is not Anakin, yet that DNA blood connection plays with his sense of connection. Have to think that deep in that compassionate and family loyalty part in his heart, Luke will to remember the same questions and feelings he had back during the Battle of Endor. Poor Luke. Lumiya really does know were to hit him deep in his heart. I really can not wait to see how this clone responses to his, should I call Luke, biological son. Will Darth Torious have the instinctive Daddy protection drive?[face_thinking] Wonderful part is that he has Mara by his side. Also in his bed![face_blush] Super job and as you can tell you have got me thinking. That is a good sign that I am hooked! Thanks.@};-
     
  18. darkjedileia

    darkjedileia Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 1, 2007
    Nice start, thanks for the PM
     
  19. Rigil_Kent

    Rigil_Kent Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Again, We'll have to agree to disagree then, because Force lightning - in any form - comes across to me as an attack. As to Yoda bouncing it back at Dooku, that was "defense," sorta the Force equivalent of Judo (using an attacker's momentum against them.) You will never convince me that a Jedi can use Force Lightning and not be tapping into the Dark Side, no matter what their "motives" are.
    Sweet! Glad you're enjoying the ride...
     
  20. Rigil_Kent

    Rigil_Kent Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    CHAPTER 2

    TIME was the one thing she didn?t have enough of.

    A sharp pain began building in her temple, and Leia Organa-Solo leaned back in her chair as her advisors continued to drone on. She couldn?t recall the last time she?d gotten out of the office on time and, based on the amount of work still to do, tonight would be no different. Her stomach grumbled softly, reminding her that she?d been forced to skip lunch to deal with a minor crisis involving the Rodian delegation.

    But then, she reflected with annoyance, there was always a problem with the Rodians.

    ?-and you have a meeting scheduled with Fleet Command at fifteen hundred tomorrow,? Winter was saying smoothly from where she sat. There was no hint that she was upset at still being here, despite the lateness of the hour, but Leia wasn?t surprised; Winter?s husband Tycho, was offworld at the moment, attending Gavin Darklighter?s marriage on Chandrila along with the rest of Rogue Squadron, so Winter didn?t have anyone waiting for her at home. ?I believe,? Winter continued, ?they want to consult you on the feasibility of promoting Traest Kre?fey to commodore.? Leia made a face.

    ?Borsk?s cousin?? she asked with a frown, noting that her other visitor, Viqi Shesh, reacted in the same manner. Though Clan Alya had remained suspiciously quiet in the months since the implosion of Fey?lya?s career, Leia knew it was only a matter of time before they retaliated. In preparation, she had taken the unprecedented step of hiring dozens of lawyers and private investigators with clear instructions to keep her apprised of the situation and to work on pre-emptive defenses.

    Unprecedented, that was, for an Aldereaanian.

    ?Colonel Kre?fey has an excellent record,? Winter pointed out, ?and is the only member of Fey?lya?s family who did not reap the benefits of his cousin?s term as chancellor.?

    ?Get me a copy of his record,? Leia instructed with a heavy sigh. ?I?ll take a look at it tomorrow morning.? She found herself pinching the bridge of her nose to ward off the building headache and forced herself to stop. ?Anything else??

    ?The Imperial ambassador has requested a meeting with you,? Winter said in response. ?We?ve scheduled it for eighteen hundred hours.?

    ?Did he say why?? Shesh asked, a tight frown on her face. In the six months since Leia?s election to the chancellorship, the Kuati woman had ceased trying to conceal her almost rabid dislike for all things Imperial. Though Shesh was generally tight-lipped about the reasons for her anti-Imperial bias, a brief data search had turned up references to several family members executed for treason or because they were linked to the Rebel Alliance in some peripheral fashion. It had been an unexpected discovery, one that gave Leia more insight into her Vice-Chancellor and one that inexplicably linked them.

    ?I suspect he desires to discuss the chancellor?s peace proposal,? Winter said coolly. Her tone changed only slightly, and it was the only visible sign of her dislike of the Kuati senator. To Winter?s credit, she never allowed her emotions affect her work; had Leia not grown up with her on Alderaan, it was doubtful Organa-Solo would have even recognized the simmering distrust within her friend directed toward Senator Shesh.

    A sour look crossed Viqi?s face and she glanced down at her clasped hands. Even before she spoke, Leia knew what she was going to say. Not from the Force, though, but rather from an understanding of how Shesh?s mind worked.

    ?This proposal is a mistake,? the Kuati woman declared sharply, exactly as expected. She had been opposed to it from the moment Leia had floated the idea before the Provisional Council mere weeks after the Battle of Korriban. The emotional part of Leia that yet seethed with anger toward the monsters responsible for the destruction of Alderaan empathized with Shesh, but the cool, logical portion of Bail and Breha Organa?s adopted daughter saw the reorganization of the Imperial remnant into the Second Imperium under the dual leadershi
     
  21. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Viqi's ruthless in her methods and goals but Winter's stance is more balanced--trust but verify :D Han's note-- :( full of bitterness that. Karde's scene =D= =D= Pellaeon-- woo! I can feel his conflicted state... Torul really messed with him... o_O
     
  22. dancing_star

    dancing_star Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 24, 2007
    Stellar update! (as always ;) ) Your writing is simply wonderful!! @};- Looking forward to more! :D
    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  23. Golden_Jedi

    Golden_Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 10, 2005
    Great chapters!=D= =D= =D=

    Loved how Luke and Mara's friends are annoyed by their lover's antics. I also love the way you gave the Noghri such cool personalities, instead of using them as 'filling'.

    But please don't torture Han and Leia much, yes? [face_praying]

    Keep the PMs coming, please! :)
     
  24. unfun

    unfun Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    May 29, 2006
    Oh Pellaeon...you crazy crazy man! As always, great chapter. I'm hoping that Han and Luke will cross paths soon, always love that interaction and it doesn't sound like he wants to be around Leia anyway. Thanks for sharing!
     
  25. MaraJade001

    MaraJade001 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2007
    Excellent update as always! =D=

    I really liked the glimpse into Leia's day and feelings. I can't blame Han for leaving with the kids. She really should make an effort to talk to him about what happened. [face_shame_on_you]

    I am SO loving Kyle! After reading this I had a strange urge to play Dark Forces again. :D Unfortunately, it looks like the original game won't play on XP. :(

    And I know I've mentioned it before, but I really like how you take characters we know and introduce them in a different way than the pro-fic did. I caught the Solusar mention (I'm assuming it was Kam), and I'm looking forward to seeing if you actually use him in this. Even if you don't, it's just cool knowing that they're still around.

    L/M: loved this! Karrde's sneezing, the Noghri with actual personalities, the obstacle course and Mara's awesome performance with it, Luke throwing rocks at her, the constant flirting and annoyance to Karrde... Just great! =D= A few specific comments:

    The posts on the obstacle course reminded me of the awesome fight scene in the movie Iron Monkey! Of course, that had fire below instead of smelly water, but the effect was the same. I'd love to see some lightsaber combat on those posts! [face_devil]

    I liked Mara throwing the rock at Talon. I'm sure she knew Shada would catch it. Mara would never actually hurt him for being a smart ass. ;)

    This paragraph was heart-wrenching to me:

    Men! Some never seem to "get it"! :oops: As soon as I read Talon's line I thought "Oh, crap!" Of course, Mara would be a little sensitive about this subject. She's probably feeling pretty insecure about the whole motherhood issue considering her less than ideal upbringing. And knowing Luke most likely wants kids she may think that he would be better off with someone who could be a good mother to his children. Of course we know Luke wouldn't think that. :) Mara would make a great mother BECAUSE she knows what it's like to have a sucky childhood! Besides... she has a good heart.

    Poor Pellaeon... I can really sympathize with him, but killing the Force?! First of all I don't think that's actually possible (at least I HOPE it isn't). And if it were, the galaxy would be a pretty boring place without it! ;) Still... it's a scary prospect. [face_worried]

    Awesome, awesome job once again, RK!
    [:D]
     
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