Beyond Shattered Remembrance (L/M, H/L, drama, angst) - Thank You!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi-2B, Jun 11, 2007.

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  1. JEDIFLYSWATTER Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 3
    If Jedi-2B is writing a story please include me too. It seem sad though and I after reading the last novel hope for a happy ending. Please add me to your PM list and thanks.@};-
  2. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    JEDIFLYSWATTER: Haven't written the ending yet, but I guarantee it won't be as bad as the last novel. Unless some kind of alien takes control of my fingers as I'm typing. ]-}

    Thanks, and more coming up in a few minutes.

  3. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    Chapter Three


    The Manarai Medical Clinic soared four hundred and forty-seven stories into the air, with ambulance landing pads projecting out on every other floor like slices of fungi on a tree stump. Mara tamped down the overwhelming urge to simply barge into the nearest entrance and demand to be shown where Luke was. There was a good chance that his identity hadn't been established yet, and loudly proclaiming that Jedi Master Luke Skywalker had been brought in could produce a holoshill riot.

    Stalking up to the Welcome Area, Mara eyed the receptionist droid. "The man just brought in from the airtaxi crash. Where is he? What floor?"

    "Are you a relative?"

    "Uh, no. I mean ? I'm his ?" Mara paused. Luke wouldn't want their engagement revealed like this anymore than she would. "I'm his associate."

    "I'm sorry," the droid intoned. "Patient information is only released to members of the immediate family."

    "Listen, you bucket of bolts." Her hand started reaching once more for her lightsaber before dropping back to her side in frustration. She willed her voice to remain calm. "I need to see him. I need to be with him."

    "I'm sorry," the droid repeated. "Patient information is only?"

    Lecture me later, farmboy. Mara reached across the desk, her hand grabbing the droid's thin neck. "I'm closer than any relative, understand?"

    "Mara?"

    Mara turned as two pairs of footsteps accompanied the sound of her name, one light and quick, the other heavy and sure. Han Solo and Leia Organa-Solo strode purposely in her direction.

    "What happened to Luke?" Leia asked. "Karrde's office said there'd been an accident, and that he was here."

    "You know as much as I do," Mara growled.

    "You weren't with him?"

    "No. Now can we cut the chitchat and go see your brother?" Mara bit out impatiently. "This mechanical warden doesn't want to let me in to find him."

    Leia swung toward the droid, and within moments the three of them were on their way to the two hundred sixty-fourth floor surgical ward.

    ***

    "Councilor Organa-Solo, Captain Solo." A distinguished-looking medic, probably in his mid-fifties, hurried out to meet them as they exited the turbolift. "As soon as Master Skywalker's identi-chip was checked, I tried to comm your home."

    "Doctor Panio," Leia greeted the medic with a familiarity that spoke of far too much time spent at the Manarai Clinic. "Can you tell us what happened? What's Luke's condition? How soon can we see him?"

    "Come into my office, and I'll tell you as much as we know right now." Doctor Panio gave Mara a questioning look.

    "This is Mara Jade, an acquaintance of Luke's," Leia filled in. "They were together just before the accident."

    Yes, together. More 'together' than you realize, Councilor, Mara thought, getting more impatient by the minute. She returned the medic's acknowledging nod.

    "Mara, thank you for having Karrde's people alert us," Leia said curtly. "There's no need for you to stay any longer."

    "You're dismissing me?!" Mara's eyes flashed indignantly. "Like Sith I?m leaving. Luke's my friend, and I'm going to see him!"

    "Of course you can stay," Han spoke up, glancing at Leia as if daring her to disagree.

    "Yes, yes, of course." Leia had the good grace to at least look apologetic, in Mara's opinion.

    "This way then." Doctor Panio motioned them down a hallway.

    ***

    An hour later, Mara sat huddled in a corner of the private waiting room to which they'd been escorted. Doctor Panio's litany of Luke's injuries tolled through her numbed mind. Crushed right leg. Crushed right arm. Severe head trauma. Crushed rib cage. Punctured lung. Ruptured spleen. Torn kidney. Sith, she couldn't even remember them all. Damage to almost every internal organ he had.

    "We didn't even have a chance to talk to him ? to hear his surprise," Leia murmured, almost to herself. She was clutching Luke's lightsaber tightly. It had miraculously stayed attached to Luke's belt during the crash, and the medic had
  4. RebelMom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 20, 2000
    star 6
    It's too bad that Mara and Leia have to bond when Luke is injured. That happens all too often. Leave it to Mara to think of Artoo. Han and Leia also know how he feels about that droid.

    I hope no evil aliens inspire you.
  5. ginchy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2005
    star 4
    Seriously sitting here teary-eyed, girl. :_| :_|

    Oh, Luke. :( And I hope Artoo is okay! [face_worried]
  6. PonyTricks Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2003
    star 4
    And no one even thinks of Poor Threepio! He's going to be crushed when he realizes his tin-can friend is, um, crushed! :_|


    It's a good thing Luke is still alive, even if he's not out of the woods yet. Mara needs a strong shoulder to cry on. I just know that Wes - or Talon - will be there for her, comforting her, during those long, dark, terrible hours of waiting... and waiting.... [face_mischief]
  7. Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 1999
    star 6
    Poor Luke! :_| And I'd never thought about the awkwardness between Leia and Mara, if Leia didn't know about the engagement. Great job with that!

    I really hope Artoo is okay....



  8. GeithJiseo2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2004
    star 5
    Okay, confession time: I am a shameless Luke/Callista fan. *ducks rotten vegetables* But before you guys break out the pitch forks, I also do enjoy reading stories with Luke/Mara, and I'm really enjoying this story, Jedi-2B! Do you PM updates? If so, could I please be added to your list? [face_praying]

    Ouch! That part especially made me cringe. Poor Luke! :(

    =D= =D= =D= =D= =D=
  9. Jade_Pilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2005
    star 5
    Ack! You leave it there????????????? Enjoy torturing your fans, do you?

    Wonderful update...I'm on the edge waiting for the next update!

    Bravo! =D=
  10. dancing_star Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2007
    star 4
    Oh, Luke. :_| :_| Poor thing.
    I'm glad he's alive though. I hope he stays that way. [face_worried] And I hope Artoo is okay too!
    Great update! Really looking forward to more soon!
    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  11. PHGS_Weyr Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2006
    star 4
    argh! cliffy!

    Poor Luke, Poor Artoo, Poor Mara,

    Leia is so going to find out from Mara before Luke wakes up.....

    PHGS Weyr
  12. YodaKenobi VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Crushed right leg. Crushed right arm. Severe head trauma. Crushed rib cage. Punctured lung. Ruptured spleen. Torn kidney

    Ouch! :eek:

    Warm up the bacta.

    "Artoo's like the son he'll probably never have," Leia agreed quietly.
    Son ? Children ? They hadn't really discussed having a family yet. Leia could unknowingly be correct. Mara hoped not. "Including the occasional backtalk," she quipped weakly.


    Hehe. So true :D

    Mara turned in her seat, staring out the large window at the endless ribbons of traffic. Dusk was approaching, and lights of the various speeders, airbuses, and shuttles stretched as far as the eye could see. Traffic. Harmless traffic. Zipping within a hair's breadth of each other at death-defying speeds.
    And all too often, death wasn't defied at all.


    Very sad :(

    I wonder what will happen when Mara actually gets to see Luke. Hopefully he can make a speedy recovery but it sounds like there's a lot wrong with him... And now I'm all worried about Artoo! :eek: He can't have been destroyed [face_praying]

    Terrific post, Jedi_2B :D Really looking forward to more :)
  13. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host Game Winner
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    I'm glad Han took up for Mara so she could wait with them. I feel for her not being able to unload the full extent of her worry and anxiety, though of course she still might not choose to, if given the chance. But if Mara did vent, Leia would definitely want to know why; she considers Mara to be "just a friend", and perhaps not even a very close one at that. ;) Yikes, all those injuries. [face_worried] Very moving part about the things that might be shattered--chances for a happy future. Eep!! Hope not!! Can't wait till next week!!!
  14. RedGold Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 29, 2004
    star 4
    well done! but we still don't know that much more about luke!! is he going to come out of this with his memory attached?

    or maybe he would have just lost his short term.. doesn't remember anything before shooting off to save Mara... LOL
  15. smiley_rancor Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2006
    star 1
    Yay! that Luke is still alive. Poor Mara with Leia trying to dismiss her! lol, I loved her response. Wonder whether it was just a crash or something much more sinister?

    Next post please!


    s_r
  16. Darth_Marrs Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2006
    star 4
    Another great post. I like the dynamic you've created between Leia and Mara. They're not bonding, they're just co-existing at this stage. Well done!
  17. Blue_Milkshake Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2005
    star 3
    We found an old fortress that Thrawn had used as an outpost. While there, we stumbled upon a copy. Or rather, Artoo found ? Artoo!" Mara's eyes flashed in alarm. "Artoo was with him! If Skywalker wakes up and finds out that droid's been destroyed, he ?" Mara shook her head in dismay. She didn't give a womprat's behind about the document anymore.

    [face_worried]Jinkies! I've been worrying about Artoo for weeks now. I sure hope he's okay.

    Great tale you've got here! We're all biting our nails on the edges of our seats.
  18. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    ARGHHHH!!!! You left it THERE???? :eek: Okay, I can handle it. :p

    "I'm sorry," the droid repeated. "Patient information is only?"

    Lecture me later, farmboy. Mara reached across the desk, her hand grabbing the droid's thin neck. "I'm closer than any relative, understand?"


    That's our Mara! :D

    =D=
  19. verybusy Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 18, 2006
    star 2
    [face_whistling] I guess I am too weird, right now I should be scared about Luke, shouldn't I?;) ...but I am rather looking forward to more "conversations" between Leia and Mara here.....


    cheers,

    VeryBusy
  20. cupid7 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2004
    star 1
    Crushed right leg. Crushed right arm. Severe head trauma. Crushed rib cage. Punctured lung. Ruptured spleen. Torn kidney.

    ...and a partridge in a pear tree. Owwww! Poor Luke! I sure hope that when he wakes up he remembers that he proposed to Mara.

    Liked the Mara?Leia interaction. You established Leia?s mild distrust and disregard for Mara in a few well chosen words. I also liked other aspects of writing craft:

    ...two pairs of footsteps accompanied the sound of her name, one light and quick, the other heavy and sure.

    Great sentence.

    And the word ?holoshills?. Is that general SWFF-speak, or did you think of that?
  21. JEDIFLYSWATTER Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 3
    He must of had massive blood loss too. Just with the crushed leg and spleen. Crushed femur alone, one can bleed to death. Wonder if they have chest tubes in that galaxy.[face_sick] I have seen patients almost jump off the table when those bad boyes get put in. Terrible things. Hope they do not have to replace all these with biomechanical parts. He is going to start feeling more like Vader. More machine then human. Hope they find Artoo. As always the little guy could save the galaxy. Poor Mara I bet she never figured her next meeting with Leia and Han would be this tragic. Super post my friend and thanks.@};-
  22. cupid7 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2004
    star 1
    Ah, yes, our unofficial SWFF EMT-In-Residence weighs in on this traffic casualty! I remember, you have a thing about chest tubes, Jediflyswatter! Looks like Lukie's in for some 24/7/365 Rehab, huh?
  23. JEDIFLYSWATTER Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 3
    Cupid 7. What can I say. I think that way. One must always think about the unknown factors that do not show themselves. First thing I learned and got rid of was the concept of "normal". What is normal for one might not be normal for another. In fact I do not like or use that word anymore. Hope the brain trauma is not to bad. I do not like to think of a drooling Luke. I must also correct you Mister Scientist. You can call me the Unofficial SWFF Paramedic-EMT.[face_laugh] Jedi-2B, I love the story and I just really hope Luke does come out of this without that 24/7/365 rehab and drool cup. Great my friend.
  24. dollfin220 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2007
    This is really good. I love how Mara is trying to keep the "secret" but at the same doesn't want have to act like they are not together.

    I can't wait to find out what happens next...

    I hope Artoo is okay.

    Please add me to your PM list.

    Cara
  25. Jedi_Scribe Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 22, 2007
    star 1
    Oh my goodness. So this must be the new project you mentioned a few weeks ago, I'm glad I finally found it. Great story so far.
    This is one approach I never would have thought of. Luke Skywalker, Jedi master, taken out by an air taxi accident? Right after he hooks up with Mara, no less? That is just cruel [face_devil] ! The dialog between Mara & the Solos is excellent, and your depiction of their characters is right on IMHO. The possible consequences of this scenario so far are tough to deal with. Will Luke wake up? How much will he recover? Will he remember anything about Mara or the mission? How will Mara deal with Luke's family during a lengthy recovery? Was it really just an accident, or was he set up? Right now, this feels suspiciously like a daytime soap opera just begging for another nasty plot twist...

    Also, it takes some serious literary fortitude for any author to even hint at breaching Artoo's invincible character shield. I'm guessing that the fate of the droid could be a fascinating sub-plot all on it's own.

    Awesome work as usual, 2B. Please count me in for update PM.
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