Beyond Shattered Remembrance (L/M, H/L, drama, angst) - Thank You!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi-2B, Jun 11, 2007.

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  1. JEDIFLYSWATTER Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 3
    I can really feel for Mara. It is so hard to see someone you care about in so much pain and in trouble. You feel so out of control and helpless. I am glad Mara did not turn on the doctor. I have had family members do that and it is real upsetting when you are there to help. I wonder what Luke is going to remember after he comes around. With head traumas sometimes whole blocks of time are forgotten. Super post and thanks.@};-
  2. GeithJiseo2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2004
    star 5
    Hello. Just little old me, bringing this story back to the top!

    Hope for more soon, but until then, may the Force be with you.

    EDIT: And look! I added a new page! [face_dancing]
  3. Leia Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 8, 1998
    star 2
    I love wandering over here and bumping into a story by one of my favorite authors! My joy, it is infinite. This is great as always, Michele! @};- I loved the line about death not always being defied--it's a nice little reminder, since our heroes seem (well, seemed, I guess it's not true anymore) to always get away relatively unscathed. :p

    Looking forward to more angst, followed by a fluffy reunion. HINT HINT. ;)
  4. Gabri_Jade VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2002
    star 5
    Sorry I missed a few installments, but I'm loving it so far, Michele. Poor Mara. :( But there was one part that really worried me:

    Instead, she reached out with the Force, pulling Luke's aura to herself. It felt cloudy, numb. Foreign.

    That's not meant to be some evil foreshadowing, is it? [face_worried]
  5. ImperialRemnant Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2006
    star 1
    Why do I think that Luke has amnesia of some sort?
  6. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    GeithJiseo2: Is there some kind of irony that the first responder is the L/C fan? LOL! Thanks for the reply, and the 'up'.


    RebelMom: I can't wait for the awakening. -- As well you know, the 'awakening' won't come for a little while yet. ;) Merci.


    Darth_Marrs:
    Definitely the best post so far. -- It was the longest, anyway. Gracias.


    MaraJade001: Consider yourself added. :D Grazie. (love your signature)


    star_writer24: Poor Mara, indeed. Thanks.


    dancing_star: I'm glad Leia and Han finally got to see him, and Mara sneaking in was perfect. -- No one really expected her to leave without seeing him, did they? Danke.



    sweetdetection: I do like that Mara has maintained appearances as his best friend. And I loved the part where she wondered why him and not someone else -- and then her shame at the thought. -- Mara had to at least acknowledge that she cares about Luke, if she didn't want to have to sneak everywhere. I think wondering 'why him?' is something everyone struggles with when a loved one has an accident. Thanks!


    YodaKenobi: So, did you have fun imagining the Wes/Mara scene? LOL!

    Luke is probably the most selfless character in Star Wars. -- Without a doubt. Hence, Mara's theorizing about him getting hurt trying to save someone else. Gracias!


    Jedi_Scribe: For a minute there, I thought you might put Luke into a Vader suit or some such terrible condition. -- No, no Vader suit for Luke.

    I notice that there was no mention of brain damage or other psychological concerns in his prognosis... -- Nope, no mention at all. [face_whistling]


    RedGold: He's going to be okay!! -- You think? Thanks.


    VaderLVR64: And I loved this, because I'm not sure he DIDN'T. -- You'll have to wait and see if Mara grills him over this. ;) Merci.


    PHGS_Weyr: Yes, Doc Panio is a pretty good guy.

    Following the conventions of some of your earlier work Mara will be the one to tell Leia about Mara and Luke (like Prism) or it happens in an amazingly awkward moment (like As Long As We're Together) -- You think I'm that stuck in a rut? Hmmm... Grazie.


    Jade_eyes:
    Was touched by the crowd of friends in the waiting area giving moral support -- Luke has lots of friends, so I could see them gathering 'round.

    Thanks for proving that drama/angst can be mushy. -- Thank YOU for saying so. :D


    Blue_Milkshake:
    *Hugs Mara* (Gee, I hope I don't get knocked unconscious for that.) -- I don't think she'd mind, under the circumstances.

    I hope Mara is taking care of herself during all this. Talon will make sure she's okay. -- Don't forget, Talon hasn't arrived back on Coruscant yet. Grazie.


    verybusy: I just love the way you write Mara here, so perfectly in character, but the feelings I expected her to have for Luke at the end of VotF coming through perfectly. This is just a scene that could make me cry.... -- *hands over a tissue* Mara is probably going thru a box of tissues herself. :_| Danke.


    G__Anakin:
    Thanks!


    PonyTricks: She needs to confide in someone on the inside to Luke's family circle. I vote for..... -- Shhhh. :p

    And it's now time for Wes to sneak into the hospital room and sabotage Luke's bacta tank, so he can at last have Mara's love as she rebounds!!! I just love insane plot bunnies, don't you? -- I dare you to write a Mara/Wes story. Gracias, mi amigo.


    ginchy: Poor Mara, not being able (or not being willing) to disclose her true relationship with Luke. -- Not willing is probably most accurate. She'll just have to wait till Luke can reveal all with her. Thanks!


    JediMaster_Jen: Thanks, and sure I'll add you
  7. Gabri_Jade VIP

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2002
    star 5
    Babe, you had evil enough tendencies before that influence. I think that now, there's no telling what you'll do. :p (Which is a compliment, PonyTricks. ;) )
  8. Master_M_Sky Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2006
    star 1
    I love this story!

    Uh-oh I'm sensing an amnesia vibe, like he's going to wake up and forget that he was engaged to Mara. [face_worried] And then Mara's going to have to convince him that she loves him even though he remembers her the way she was when she hated him, and...oh boy.

  9. PonyTricks Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2003
    star 4
    -

    But no matter how hard I try, I just can't convince Michele to have Wes put Lyme Gell-o in Luke's bacta tank! [face_laugh]
  10. cupid7 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2004
    star 1
    This chapter, with Dr Panio's report, offered some relief to Luke's friends and next of kin, as well as to readers. Even a long wait is bearable if there's hope for recovery at the end. Luke's prospect for complete recovery is the first of a couple open questions that now seem to be half-closed. (I and others are still concerned about amnesia.) The second concerns involvement of others in the crash. An unexpected accident is an opportunity to introduce unexpected characters, such as an innocent one who witnessed the crash or a nefarious one who orchestrated it.

    Public service announcement:

    If you find an unconscious casualty, remember ABC:
    Airway -- Make sure a path for air to travel to the lungs is open.
    Breathing -- Watch the chest and/or listen to the mouth and nose to check breathing.
    Circulation -- Check for a pulse (on the neck).
    You should already have activated an emergency response call. Paramedic-EMTs can resuscitate the casualty way better than a bystander can, but they need to arrive within a few minutes to be effective for a cardiac arrest.

    Perhaps a bystander helped Luke in this way. But half a day has gone by and Han has investigated and we haven't heard anything further about how the crash happened or who was on the scene, so it looks like the accident part of the story is over and done with. Unless R2's intact memory has a surprise...
  11. Bri_Windstar Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2002
    star 4
    I'll have you know that I choked on the Jello I was actually eating after reading that. :p :_|

    That, and with all these Janson asides, I really want to see a substory of this from his POV. Something tells me he wouldn't be able to convey the seriousness needed for the situation, though. :p

    Sorry I've been behind, but I am still following! How awful to see him like that, for Mara and for Han and Leia. It's never easy seeing a loved one in that kind of condition. :(

    The instances about his Force sense not being right here and there have me wary, too. I know you could write them off as being a byproduct of what he's been through, but my paranoid brain tells me that I should know better. o_O

    Edits: I can spell, really. :p
  12. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    Gabri_Jade: Babe, you had evil enough tendencies before that influence. I think that now, there's no telling what you'll do. (Which is a compliment, PonyTricks.)

    Hey, I didn't kill Luke. Yet. I can think of more than one pro-author who deserves the 'evil author' moniker. :_|


    Master_M_Sky: You have quite the plot theories going there. Start tweaking them. LOL! Thanks.


    PonyTricks: But no matter how hard I try, I just can't convince Michele to have Wes put Lyme Gell-o in Luke's bacta tank! -- See, I'm not that evil!


    cupid7: You'll find out as much as there is about how the crash happened in this chapter. No conspiracies. And with traffic accidents as frequent as they are on Coruscant, I'm going with the idea that rescue squads are never far away. But I liked all your ideas. Too bad this part of the story was written long ago, and it'd be too hard to work in new ideas. Thanks!


    Bri_Windstar: That, and with all these Janson asides, I really want to see a substory of this from his POV. Something tells me he wouldn't be able to convey the seriousness needed for the situation, though. -- Maybe PonyTricks can whip you up a viggie where Wes is secretly hoping for Luke's demise, so he can swoop in and woo Ms. Jade. LOL!

    The instances about his Force sense not being right here and there have me wary, too. I know you could write them off as being a byproduct of what he's been through, but my paranoid brain tells me that I should know better. -- Your paranoid brain could be right. ;)
    Thanks, Bri.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The next two chapters were fairly short, so I combined them into one long chapter. Your long and anxious wait as to Luke's final fate is over. Sorta.



  13. Jedi-2B Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 4
    Okay, let's get this over with ...
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chapter Five

    It was the sixth day after the accident that Luke was taken out of the bacta tank and moved to a private room. Hopes for a quick recovery were dashed, however, when he failed to regain consciousness. Post-traumatic coma, the medics called it. Could last a few days, or a few months.

    Or forever, Mara thought despondently. Optimism was the farmboy's forte, not hers. At least she had the luxury of staying by Luke's side, as much as she was able without arousing suspicion. She knew that she could just tell Han and Leia about the engagement, but she still clung to the belief that no announcement should be made until Luke was capable of doing so with her.

    Talon Karrde had returned to Coruscant on Luke's third day in the bacta tank, and had filled Mara in on the details of the peace treaty with the Imperials. Hollowness instead of joy filled her heart, as the only thought that kept looping through her mind was how elated Luke would be to hear this good news. She would celebrate when Luke could celebrate by her side.

    Karrde offered his sympathy on the loss of the Jade's Fire, and didn't press for details on how she and Luke managed to return to Coruscant. Mara hoped that the NRI would continue to honor Luke's instructions that the alien ship be kept under wraps until he released it for analysis. But she knew Cracken wouldn't hold off forever.

    As Karrde's second-in-command, Mara was invited to attend the signing of the treaty, but she had no intention of going.

    Neither did Leia.

    ***

    "I can't leave him, Han." Leia stood at her desk, shuffling through datapads and stuffing selected ones into a courier's pouch. "He needs us, and I won't go flying off halfway across the galaxy just for some ceremony."

    "This is not just some ceremony." Han ran a hand through his graying hair. "I can't believe I'm trying to talk you into going to a diplomatic function, but, Leia, you deserve to be there."

    "And Luke deserves to have his family with him."

    "But you don't have to sit with him all day long, every day. You're trusting Lando and Tendra to stay with him right now."

    "There's a difference between a couple hours and several days."

    "To Luke, there isn't." Han grimaced as Leia glared at him, wishing he could take back his sharp words.

    "How do you know?" Leia snapped defensively. "There have been studies that show that coma patients may be aware of their surroundings. I think he can sense whether I'm there or not."

    Han shook his head at his wife's stubbornness. "How about when he wakes up, and discovers you missed out on the most important political event of your life, in order to baby-sit him? You think he'll just say 'Ah, thanks, sis.'? He'll be furious!"

    "Luke doesn't get furious."

    "He gets upset, and he has a stubborn streak as wide as yours."

    Leia doggedly went back to sorting her datapads. "Ponc will be there. He's the Chief of State, not me."

    "Ponc Gavrisom isn't the one Pellaeon approached to propose this treaty. It might not even be happening without your influence." Han came around the desk, wrapping his arms around Leia's tense frame. "Leia, you'll hurt him more by not going."

    Leia's fingers tightened on the pad she was holding, and Han could see her wilting emotionally even as she collapsed into her chair. "You're right," Leia whispered hoarsely.

    Han began kneading her tight shoulders. "We'll make sure there's someone with him all the time."

    "Who?" Leia asked. "We can't impose on Lando any more."

    "Hey, Luke has tons of friends," Han said, crouching beside Leia and taking her hand. "Wedge, Corran, the rest of the Rogues, dozens of Jedi ?" He paused, thinking. "You know, I bet Mara Jade would even agree to sit with him. She did hang around the day of the accident."

    "And we've hardly seen her since."

    "Still, it won't hurt to ask," Han reasoned.

    "Maybe she only stayed that first d
  14. Jade_Pilot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2005
    star 5
    Ack! I go away for a week and miss two wonderful updates! And now you've given Luke amnesia!!
    Girl...there are doctors for this sort of thing! ;)

    And now I need more! More! So get writing!

    Oh, and Well done! =D=
  15. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I'm for anything that will let me read more of this story! So I'm fine with this development! :D

    Not taking his wary gaze from Leia, Luke swallowed a few sips of the cool liquid. Leaning back, Leia worriedly took in her brother's confused expression. "What is the last thing you remember?"

    "Don't know," Luke murmured hoarsely, shaking his head as his eyes fell back to the stump on his arm.

    "Luke, you were in an accident. A very serious taxi-speeder accident."

    "I don't remember." Luke shrugged back from Leia's clinging hold.

    "It's all right. It's probably better that you don't remember the crash." Leia reluctantly started to rise. "I should call the doctor. Han's downstairs; he'll want to know you're awake, too."

    Reaching across with his left hand, Luke touched her arm as she began to leave. "Wait." He stared at her blankly, wetting his lips. "Who ? who are you?"


    And I trust you won't leave us hanging here TOO long, right? [face_mischief]

    =D=

  16. Bianka_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 2005
    star 1
    I should be honest, I didn't expect Luke to have amnesia, but I read the reply in which someone proposed the idea. Darn it! But just so you know, i didn't come to that conclusion myself, and it wasn't really that predictible...i mean i guess i didn't really think so hard about the title either...anyway, great update. I know it takes a long time to recover from amnesia, if you recover at all, so i guess we're all in for a long ride, huh? I am really digging your story though. could you add me to the PM list too? thanks!
  17. GeithJiseo2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2004
    star 5
    Noooooo! Don't stop there! Don't stop there! I must have more! Please? [face_praying]

    That was an interesting twist! I wonder how Leia is going to handle this and how Mara is going to react...
  18. Angelmine_29 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2004
    star 1
    I love this story so far! It's nice to see a story come through without the 'miracle recovery in a day or so' and so well written as well. I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this story next!

  19. Darth_Marrs Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 24, 2006
    star 4
    Dramatic tension, people. It's what we live for. Great job, Jedi-2B!
  20. RebelMom Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 20, 2000
    star 6
    You had me all teary eyed with Mara's talking to Luke and calling him her beloved companion. :_|
  21. JediMaster_Jen Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2002
    star 4
    :eek: I knew it was coming, (well, had a pretty darn good idea anyway) and I'm still shocked. Amnesia? :_|

    I'm sure Mara will find a way to help him remember.

    Good work. =D=
  22. JEDIFLYSWATTER Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 10, 2004
    star 3
    It could very well be temporary. He was not in the coma that long and I am sure if there was a serious amount of brain damage He would have a device implnted that measures the amount of brain swelling and sometimes part of the skull is removed so the brain has some room to swell. Maybe now Cilghal can help him with healing trances. Mara also has that connection with him that was re-enforced in that cloning chamber. Luke has to get better.[face_worried] Super job and thanks.@};- Cupid 7, Since you brought up the ABCs I personally add one more and that also falls under the C. That is C-spine. If the cervical spine is in trouble and blocking the airway, keep the head straight as possible but push the jaw forward. That will also get the tongue off the back of the throat. Do not ever put anything in the mouth ie: spoon, knife, anything. People do not choke on thier tongue. End of my Public Service announcement.
  23. ImperialRemnant Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2006
    star 1
    I knew it, I knew it......


    Oh well, makes the story much more interesting, I guess. But exactly how much does he remember, does he even remember his own name? Vader? The Rebellion?

    Guess it's bad, cos he doesn't even remember his twin sister!

    Mara's gonna be heartbroken.....

  24. RedGold Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 29, 2004
    star 4
    Not sssoooo predictible... I mean, he could have had full memory loss like here, or just short term memory loss so only forgot he's hooked up with Mara. :p

    And yes, this is much more fun!

    But everything needs to come out okay in the end!!
  25. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 6
    Wowzers!! I thought LUke'd maybe lose memories just back to early Rebellion days, and maybe think of Leia as a friend or something, before he knew they were sibs. But this.... this takes us way way way back!! :eek: :eek: [face_worried]
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