Short Attention Span Theater Presents...

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by BlindMan, Jan 26, 2002.

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  1. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    THREEPIO: (after a moment's silence) A long time ago--

    BEN: Stupid!


    [face_laugh] LOL!!! Oh my gosh!

    Nope. They're designed to be love slaves.

    WOHOOO!!!!!!!!!! I want one!!!! [face_laugh] :D

    Too funny!!!!



  2. wan-bo-tak Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 10, 2001
    star 4
  3. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    OH.....MY.....GOD......


    *stands there a moment, unsure of whether to be horrified and run away screaming, or to laugh hysterically until she passes out.*

    *decides on the latter.*

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA.....* thunk *
  4. Lieutenant_Page Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    balance)...is going to go visit the throne. (he staggers off toward the men's room...)

    OBI: (raising his drink in the air) Hail to the king!

    LOL!!!
  5. BlindMan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2001
    star 2
    COMING ATTRACTIONS:

    Dude!



    :) Blind Man
  6. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    Dude! That sounds like the perfect story for me!!! :D Us California beach bums will love it!
  7. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    BlindMan... you are simply hilarious. Three Dead Guys Chillin had me laughing so hard it gave me hiccups... and that's never a pretty sight! :D :D
  8. Mcily_Nochi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    *puppy eyes* BlindMan, this is seriously funny. More please?
  9. Lieutenant_Page Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    Dude! I can't wait for that one!

    How do you come up with this stuff??
  10. Denny Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2001
    star 3
    SID: You poor, sick bastard. Here, the next drink's on me...

    [...]

    You're the king
    I love it when I read a Palpatine I can actually be fond of! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Loved Three Dead Guys Chilling! Can't wait for Dude.

    YOU ROCK BM!
  11. quietlunatic Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2001
    star 3
    BlindMan, you are hillarious.

    Dude! You don't mean Trioculus "Dude"?
  12. BlindMan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2001
    star 2
    Short Attention Span Theater Presents:

    DUDE!




    Inside the Jedi Temple, the door to COUNT DOOKU's quarters opens, and a cloud of aromatic smoke puffs out. DOOKU and his padawan, QUI-GON, come stumbling out into the hallway, giggling.)

    QUI-GON: Dude!

    DOOKU: Can you feel the Force around you, my young padawan?

    QUI-GON: Dude! I can totally feel it. I'm like, one with the galaxy. Or something...(he starts to rub his hands over the walls, mesmerized)

    (A few Jedi passing in the hall give them distasteful looks.)

    QUI-GON: (calling out to their backs) Squares!

    DOOKU: Come, my young padawan, now our quest truly begins...

    QUI-GON: Quest?

    DOOKU: Quest. For munchies.

    (They stumble out to the landing platforms, hop into an open-cockpit speeder, and go zipping away into the Corscant traffic. Dooku's driving is a bit erratic, and soon they see flashing lights behind them and hear a siren as a police cruiser approaches them.)

    QUI-GON: (looking at the pursuer) Dude! Busted!

    DOOKU: Let me handle this, padawan.

    (They pull over to an empty landing pad, and the police cruiser settles down beside them. The PATROLMAN steps out and swaggers over to them.)

    PATROLMAN: Afternoon, gentlemen.

    DOOKU: Afternoon, officer.

    PATROLMAN: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?

    DOOKU: No. Let's find out! (He stomps on the accelerator and speeds away)

    QUI-GON: (glancing behind them at the dwindling policeman) Dude!

    (It isn't long before the cruiser is back on their tail, and with a sigh, Dooku settles onto another landing pad. When the PATROLMAN comes over this time, he looks just a bit peeved.)

    PATROLMAN: All right, sir, let me see your identification.

    DOOKU: (waving his hand in front of the officer) You don't need to see my identification...

    PATROLMAN: (scowling) Yes I do, sir. Now, are we going to do this the hard way?

    (DOOKU frowns a moment, then nods in understanding. He turns to QUI-GON.)

    DOOKU: It seems that my Mind Trick abilities have been blunted.

    QUI-GON: Blunt.

    (DOOKU and QUI-GON break into spluttering laughter.)

    PATROLMAN: (glaring) Identification. Now.

    (DOOKU rummages in his pockets, hands a card over to the PATROLMAN. The PATROLMAN stares at it a moment, then frowns at DOOKU.)

    PATROLMAN: Sir, this is a library card. (He hands it back.)

    DOOKU: Oh, my apologies...(he checks his pockets again) Well, it seems I left my identification in my other pants.

    PATROLMAN: Really. (he leans against the speeder) Okay, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to have my deputy come out here and take a sample of your blood, to check your intoxication levels. If you make any sudden moves, I'm going to hit you with a stun bolt faster than you can say "Saruman". Is that understood?

    DOOKU: Of course, officer. I'm happy to cooperate in any way.

    (The DEPUTY steps out of the police cruiser, comes over and pricks DOOKU's finger with a small analyzer. The machine beeps and flashes, and the DEPUTY frowns at the readout.)

    DEPUTY: (to PATROLMAN) Sir, he's flying higher than a kite. But I'm also detecting some unknown substance in his blood. It's not like any intoxicant I've seen before.

    DOOKU: Oh, thaaaaaaaaaaat. (he waves it away) Those are just my midi-chlorians.

    PATROLMAN: Midi-what?

    QUI-GON: Midi-chlorians. Duh!

    PATROLMAN: And what, pray tell, are midi-chlorians?

    DOOKU: They're a microscopic life form that resides within all living cells. They continually speak to me, telling me the will of the Force.

    (The PATROLMAN and his DEPUTY share a skeptical look.)

    PATROLMAN: Let me see if I've got this straight. You're saying that there are microscopic creatures--

    DOOKU: Yes...

    PATROLMAN: --living inside you--

    DOOKU: Yes...

    PATROLMAN: --and they...talk to you?

    DOOKU: You got it!

    (The PATROLMAN and the DEPUTY exchange another look.)

    PATROLMAN: Sir, step out of the vehicle, please.

    DOOKU: What for?

    PATROLMAN: Because I said so. And keep your hands where I can see them.

    (DOOKU rolls his eyes, sighs, and climbs out of
  13. Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    DUDE!!!!!!!!!! That was funny! [face_laugh]
  14. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    Like, totally DUDE!

    That was SOOOOO sweet....loved it....got any of the stuff they had left? :D
  15. PeterTutham27 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2001
    star 4
    Assault? I just gave them some "super wedgies"! They'll be walking normally
    again in a couple of days.


    ROFSHITIHM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    HAHAHAHA!!!

    Dude!!!!!!!
  16. jendiggity Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2001
    star 4
  17. wan-bo-tak Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 10, 2001
    star 4
    ROFL!!! Duuuuuuuuudddde!! :D
  18. Mcily_Nochi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
  19. turnthePAGE Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2001
    star 1
    DUDE! That was EXCELLENT! LOL!
  20. inez_the_swampgirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 4
    DUDE!! This is bitchin'! (Can I say that here? Sorry if I offend.)

    BlindMan, I think I figured it out!


    The Great Balloon Animal Conspiracy
    balloon animals = klowns/klones = evil = Sith Lords


    It all makes sense! :eek:

    inez
  21. Denny Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2001
    star 3
    Dude! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    That was awesome!
  22. Mcily_Nochi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
  23. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Blindman, dude, you've outdone yourself!!!

    Young Qui and Dooku...that was hysterical!!!
  24. Someguy Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 7, 2002
    star 1
    WHAT THE FRICKIN" SITHSPIT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST MARA JADE YOU SITHSPAWN BOOZER!!!!!!
  25. quietlunatic Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2001
    star 3
    *Cough* Troll *Cough*

    Up.
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