Short Stories (JA) *updated 08/06/02*

I'm baaack!!!! Miss me? My ISP is working again, and better than that, I'm all caught up on the stories now So...

Ashes of Despair really had me going. I was almost as worried as Obi-Wan. I think you did a good job handling what is for many of us still a sensitive topic. Qui-Gon was magnificent. It's truly a tragedy that things didn't end so well for many in real life as they did in the story

There for You was a nice role reversal from Ashes but no less heart rending. Personally, I liked Tahl, but never held much hope for her survival, so her death didn't much shock me. Qui-Gon, however, is devastated, and you did an excellent job of showing it. His desire to keep Obi-Wan close for fear of losing him too is very realistic and understandable.

The Rose offers an interesting glimpse into the Jedi culture-something I find to be surprisingly rare in most fan fics. I liked the explanation of the "Ezrai" custom, and Obi-Wan's choice of gift. The story is a nice compliment to the last two, in that it shows mush, but not direct angst. I'm very glad you chose to post a story like The Rose after the previous two tear jerkers, or I'd surely be looking for some Prozac by now

 

Hi!

Thanks for the FB, I'm glad you guys like it. It's one of the few stories that I've written in the first person present tense 'cause it's hard to make it not sound like a script, so I'm glad it came out okay.

Welcome back Artemis - I'm glad that your ISP is working again. Thanks for your comments too, I appreciate them always. I'm glad that you found "Ashes of Despair" somewhat realistic 'cause I was having a hard time expressing the emotions in it. It's so different to have to write something that you've experience in someway 'cause you realize that there really is no way to describe it completely. I agree - too bad things can't really turn out like they do in stories, the world would be a much better place.

About "There For You" - I too knew that Tahl was going to die from the beginning. That's one of the reasons the entire arc of stories annoyed me. It was unimaginative and just plain predictable from the very beginning. I liked Tahl, I'm really disappointed by what JW did. I'm glad that the emotions Qui was feeling were realistic and understandable 'cause I was having trouble there too - I've never really lost anyone who was a really good friend of mine so I was sort of at a loss. I do, however, know how it feels to want to comfort someone but to have no clue how to do it, which is why I did it from Obi's POV. I'm glad that it was 'heart rending' - it means I'm actually getting emotions into my writing which is always good.

In "The Rose" I chose to do the tradition/custom thing because I too have noticed that not many people focus on that in fics. It seems to me that Jedi are a group of people who would have a lot of traditions but they are not really explored too well. I'm happy with the way the tradition came out. I think I'm going to try and incorperate stuff like that into my longer stories - it's always nice to get a glimpse of the culture behind all the missions they go on. This is one of my few angst-free stories - I thought it'd be a nice little break. The next one isn't really a tear jerker but it's sad anyway. The one after that is really angsty though - most of my stuff is. Thanks for the FB, I'm glad you liked the stories!

 

BEAUTIFUL.You have explained why I feel it is hard to read love stories with QGJ or Obi,while in one aspect their relationship is not of an intimate nature,it is far more than that.I find it hard for them or any true jedi to surrender themselves to love without the possibility of turning to the dark side.SORRY,that is just the way I feel.Your story has given us an insight of how deep their relationship is,closer than what even Watson talks of Tahl and QGJ in JA 15.PEACE Ewen

 

Thanks Ewen, I'm blushing! I'm glad you liked it so much. I understand what you mean about love and the dark side. The love itself wouldn't lead to the dark side but if something happened to one of the two Jedi then the other one might go off and try and do just what Qui did - get revenge, which would definetly lead to the dark side. I'm very glad that you think I conveyed such a deep relationship between them because that's the way I've always seen them. To me they're more then just Master and Padawan, friends, or even father and son. Thanks for your FB!

 

Okay, I actually wasn't going to post this today (I thought I already had) and was going to post "Thank You"...but then I kinda had a wake up call, so here it is.

BTW, this is slightly longer than most of the stories, but I didn't want to split it in half so...

WARNING: ANGST AND MUSH ARE OVER THE TOP IN HERE!


Title: A Startling Revelation
Rating: PG
Summary: A confrontation between Master and Padawan finally shows Qui-Gon how blind he's been to his apprentice's needs.
Time Frame: Obi-Wan is 17
Spoilers: I don't think so.
Category: Angst, H/C, non-slash, AU ("The Ties That Bind" and the following books never take place in this timeline, Qui and Tahl are VERY good friends, nothing more or less).
Note: This idea has been floating around aimlessly in my head ever since I read "The Ties That Bind" so I finally decided to write it. Like I said above, the book itself never takes place in my universe so Qui-Gon and Tahl did NOT say they owned each other's hearts, or whatever JW had them say to each other at the end of that book.

Oh, BTW, both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan act way out of character here but I had a great time writing this so bear with me, okay?

Things enclosed in *'s are *italic*
Things enclosed in / /'s are /memories/


A Startling Revelation


Obi-Wan:

I let my mind drift from Qui-Gon's stream of never ending words, only pretending to listen to him. My Master was lecturing me on my recent loss of focus during our training sessions. Lately I had been unable to center myself in the Force because I could not keep my mind from wondering. At first my Master simply thought it was because I had not slept well but after the behavior continued into the following days he had quickly realized that was not the case.

I knew that I should listen to him, that he would become frustrated and disappointed as soon as he realized I wasn't paying attention, but I couldn't help it. Part of me *wanted* for him to become frustrated and discipline me. At least that way he'd be showing me he cared enough to correct my behavior since obviously he didn't care about anything else that had to do with me.

I was just his Padawan and I couldn't possibly be a fraction as important to him as Tahl was. Whenever we were at the Temple he practically forgot my existence and spent all his time with her. Jealously is an unworthy emotion of a Jedi, but I couldn't help it. I had known Qui-Gon for four years now and he had yet to show me even a portion of the warmth he always showed her. I understood they were best friends but I couldn't help how I felt. I wanted so much to hold a greater part of Qui-Gon's heart, but half the time he seemed to ignore me and the other half of the time he spent lecturing me.

"Obi-Wan, are you listening?" Qui-Gon's half-annoyed, half-concerned voice penetrated my thoughts.

I sighed. Despite everything, I would never lie to my Master. "No, Master," I said softly, looking up to meet his gaze. His blue eyes seemed weary, annoyed with my disrespectful behavior, and yet still concerned.

"Padawan," he began, "this sort of behavior is very much unlike you, what's wrong?"

What was wrong? How could he even ask that question? To Qui-Gon I practically didn't exist when we were at the Temple, and he didn't know what was wrong? All I wanted was to be close to him, to hold even a small fraction of his love, but he didn't even know me well enough to be able to be able to tell what was wrong.

"Obi-Wan," his voice turned gentle, now sounding truly concerned, "please tell me what's bothering you."

"Why should you care?" I asked, the words slipping out of my mouth before I could stop them, "I'm just your Padawan." Perhaps it was my frustration that my Master didn't realize what was bothering me, perhaps it was the hurt I felt at being constantly shoved aside in favor of Tahl, or perhaps it was simply a fit of insanity that wrought those words from my mouth,

 

Erika,you never cease to amaze me with your stories,this one included.I think you and I think along the same lines when it comes to QGJ/OBI.PEACE Ewen

 

Awwwwwwww
That was very good! I wouldn't say that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were acting out of character per se, rather that they were acting more intensely than usual. Over the top is sometimes right on target I mean, if whispering didn't work, wouldn't most of us try shouting eventually? Wonderful piece of work, Firedrake

 

If that was over the top then you should do more. I LOVE angish/mush storied.

I like that kind of Qui/Tahl relasionships. And I don't really care for her dieing in the books too. They seemed to have gotten away from Obi and are centered more on Qui-Gon. Not that that's bad, but it is JA books. Shouldn't they be about being a Padawan and not a Master?

Anyway, great story.

~Swede

 

Over the top?

Ujm, could you write more "over-the-top" stuff soon?

Nice job!

 

AAAWWWW, *sniffle* *sniffle* That was great!! You really are a wonderful writer, Firedrake! Keep up the good work!

 

Wow, I'm surprised you guys liked it so much! (not that I'm complaning or anything!) Thanks for all your complimants, what a great thing to find upon returning from school! (I'm in high school so our finals aren't until the end of January but my teachers are acting like they have to finish everything by Friday for some reason! It's like, "QUICK! Pile it on before break!" I'm about ready to scream so this was a nice way to get me into a great mood before starting on that pesky essay I have to write!) Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

 

Okay, if anyone reads this, I have a question. Since Christmas and New Years is just around the corner now I was wondering if you guys want me to keep posting every Tuesday or wait until after the holidays? The reason I'm wondering is 'cause I know a lot of people are busy this time of the year with family, plans, traveling...

Thanks!

 

I'll love to get a post! I'm staying in town this year, so you'll have at least one reader!

 

I'd say that's up to you, Firedrake. For myself, I probably won't have time until after Christmas, but I've played catch up before

 

Thanks for answering guys! The reason I even asked is because I'll be busy with my family and all - I'll probably have time to post but you never know and I hate it when I'm expecting someone to post and then they don't so I don't want to do that to the people who read my stuff. Hmm...well, I guess that since both tomorrow and the 25th are looking rather busy for me it'd be best to wait until later. Sorry Lonewolf! Look at it this way - if I said I was going to post and then didn't it'd be even worse...

 

I just popped in to say that I'm brand new to the Force.Net, but not new to Star Wars fanfic and the JA fanfic is my favorite to read. I've read (and written) plenty of fanfic before. In fact, I'm in the middle of an epic that spans both trilogies. Of course, it sucks, but that's beside the point.

I've read a lot of fanfic before, but the last story in this subject was the first story that I felt I *had* to reply to.

You have a gift, a gift I wish I had. You have the ability to make me not only see and observe, but also *FEEL* the emotions of the characters you are writing about. I finished reading your last one and I was stunned to discover tears running down my cheeks.

Please, keep writing. And more importantly, keep sharing those writings with us. If we follow you, will you teach us your ways?

Kathleen

 

Hi everyone! I'm back! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday!

Kathleen - thank you so much for taking the time to tell me how much you liked "A Startling Revelation". I really appreciate your words and hope that you continue to enjoy my stories. One of the most important and unfortunately difficult things for a writer to convey is emotion and I'm glad that I'm getting that through to at least a few people out there. Don't take this the wrong way but I'm glad that it made you cry because that means I'm actually getting something through in my writing and that makes me very happy. I do intend to keep writing and posting here for as long as the ideas come. Currently I am working on a longer story (it'll probably end up being longer than "Shrouded by Darkness", which was almost 90 pages) that I hope to finish sometime soon. I also just finished a medium sized story that I'm trying to decide whether or not to post, seeing as how it's rather different than most of my other stuff. Cheer up about your writing! Just about everyone thinks that their writing sucks - myself included - so I'm sure it's much better than you think! Thanks again!

Okay, before you guys read the story I have a little explanation. It's the only story I've ever written that's post-TPM but don't worry, it doesn't have Anakin in it at all and it's really short. Originally it was going to be a stand alone, and it does stand completely by itself, but later I went back and wrote two more stories. The second story I wrote takes place before this one and the third story takes place before that one. That's write, they take place in reverse order than the way I wrote them. Each stands alone but they are connected, as you will see. I am posting them in the order that I wrote them, so the next two stories I post here will be prequels to this one.


Title: Thank You
Rating: PG
Summary: Obi-Wan remembers his beloved Master, Qui-Gon.
Time Frame: Post TPM
Spoilers: For JA
Category: non-slash, POV, angst


Thank You


'There's always tomorrow.' I used to say that a lot before you were killed, struck down before my very eyes. I never knew how wrong I was until I was standing there at your funeral, watching the flames leap up to consume your empty body.

I never told you how much you mean to me, how much I care for you, did I? No, of course not. For I always thought that there would be another day, another time to say the things we left unspoken between us.

I always knew how much you cared for me, even though you never told me. I could see it in your eyes and feel it in your hand resting upon my shoulder. I could feel your affection every time you helped me up off a training mat or corrected my position during one of our many 'saber duels and katas. You were gentle and yet firm with me. Did I ever tell you how much I admire that about you? You always pushed me so hard but never forgot to make sure I was okay. You would drive me to the brink of exhaustion but never further.

Even though I always knew that you cared for me and that you were proud of me I worked so hard to honor you. Do you know how much your hard-fought for words of praise meant to me? You could make my heart leap with one gentle smile and a single, "Good job, Padawan." I worked hard to receive your few words of approval or encouragement for you are not man to give them freely. It made me all the prouder when I heard them, though, for I knew that in order for you to say, "Well done", I had to perform to the very best of my capabilities and even more.

I was waiting until after my knighting to tell you all the things I kept locked in my heart. I wanted to wait until the day when we would stand together as equals to tell you how much I learned from you and how much you changed me. Without you I wouldn't be the man I am today. You made me who I am and for that I am eternally grateful. Because of you I have learned

 

*sighes*

Well, as I sit here in my little pool of contentment, I just thought I'd tell you how *wonderful* your stories are.

There's not much romance, and no Anakin.

Add that in with huge amounts of mush, and you get great stories.

(Aka your stories.)

More soon, I hope?

 

That was so sad! Poor Obi! *Huggles sad Obi*

That was absolutely (In the immortal word of Mr. McCallum), FANTASTIC!

 

Ohh.... Poor Obi. Good post.

So you're doing two more prequels? Ha, you're doing them like the movies.

~Swede

 

Thanks!

The next two stories (prequels to this one) take place during the JA time period, in case anyone is wondering. They are called:

A Bittersweet Memory
Understanding

They take place very close to each other in time but one (the first one) is really angsty, while the other one has virtually none.

Thanks for reading and I'll be back next Tuesday!

 

Beautiful piece, Firedrake Somebody pass the tissues!

 

Okay, so like I said, this is a prequel to "Thank You". Now, the way they are connected may not be the most obvious but it's there, trust me! If you don't know what it is then I'd suggest re-reading "Thank You" after reading this.


Title: A Bittersweet Memory
Rating: PG
Summary: Obi-Wan mourns the loss of his best friend.
Time Frame: Obi-Wan is 18
Spoilers: For "Thank You"
Category: AU (Tahl doesn't die), H/C, non-slash, POV, Obi-angst

Things enclosed in **'s are *italic*
Things enclosed in <>'s are <telepathic> communication through the Master/Padawan bond.
Things enclosed in / /'s are /memories/


A Bittersweet Memory


All it took was one second, one instant in time and she was gone, ripped from my life forever. Even as I stood there, watching her body burn in the golden flames of the pyre, I couldn't believe she wasn't coming back. In ways, I still can't. It's getting easier but there are times when she's all I can think about. She was always there for me; through it all I could always count on her. How can she be gone? 'Friends forever' we'd said, 'Together until the end.' I guess neither of us thought it'd end so soon. Force, how am I supposed to live without her? She was my best friend.

There are times when I can think of her with only a fond sadness but there are other times when I want to break down and cry. I know it'll keep on getting easier, that I will always miss her but that one day I will be able to think of her without pain, but that doesn't make it better now.

It's almost still as shocking as it was when I first heard the news. Tahl and Bant were assigned a very simple mission but things went wrong. What should have been peaceful negotiations erupted into a bloody fight between the two parties. Bant tried to calm them down and stepped between them just as someone fired. She had no time to dodge the blaster shot and was killed instantly. For that I am grateful. At least I know that she didn't suffer.

I still remember what I was doing when Qui-Gon told me. I was adding the finishing touches to my latest drawing. It was of Bant and me, together, under the shade of one of the trees in the meditation gardens. It had always been one of our favorite places to hang out and since we hardly ever saw each other anymore I thought I would give her a copy of it. It would be a way for us to remember everything we had shared.

I should have known something was wrong when Qui-Gon chimed at my door. He never chimes, at least not anymore. We have nothing to hide from each other and can always enter and leave each others rooms as we please. I, however, was completely oblivious to that and to the sadness in my Master's bearing when he entered.


/"Hello Master," I said when Qui-Gon stepped inside my room, "How are you?"

"Padawan," he greeted me softly, coming to stand by the side of my desk to see what I was doing.

"What do you think?" I turned the drawing towards him so he could see it better.

A flash of sadness passed through my Master's eyes before he answered, "It's very good, Obi-Wan." His voice was weary and held such an immense sorrow that it worried me.

"Is something wrong, Master?" I asked softly.

Qui-Gon nodded slightly, "Yes Obi-Wan. I need to talk to you. Please sit with me."

I frowned, trying to figure out what my Master was sad about. We had just returned from six months of missions and were taking a few months off before returning to active duty. Qui-Gon had given me what he called 'Recreational Time' for the first week of our vacation. That meant that I could do whatever I wanted. After that my Master would begin my lessons again. Tonight was the last day of my free week, which had passed peacefully and without incident. Perhaps my Master was sad because the Council had decided to terminate our vacation early and send us on another one of their 'highly important missions'. It wouldn't have been the

 

Another great story Very emotional *sniff*

 

Ooooh, Obi!!! *Pulls the cutie into her arms* It's ok!!!! Very nice story, but so sad!