Shrouded by Darkness (JA - Obi-torture, Qui-angst, mystery)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Firedrake88, Sep 2, 2001.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Hi everyone!!! I have a story for all to read (please?). Please read and tell me what you think!

    Title: Shrouded by Darkness
    Author: Erika
    Rating: Mostly PG but PG13 in some parts (Obi-torture and Qui-angst)
    Summary: A mysterious and brutal attack leaves young Obi-Wan Kenobi's life hanging in the balance and threatens to throw another devastating loss at his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Many questions are left unanswered. Who attacked the boy and how did he get in and out of the Temple unnoticed? When the Padawan finally wakes up it seems like all of his Master's questions will be answered, but why does Obi-Wan refuse to speak and what is he so afraid of? Will Qui-Gon ever find the truth, or will the answers he seeks remain?shrouded by darkness?
    Time Frame: After JA8
    Spoilers: For my other stories and for JA
    Category: AU, H/C, *NON*-SLASH, POV, Obi-torture, Obi-angst, Qui-angst. Major angst!
    Disclaimers: The Star Wars universe and all of its characters belong to George Lucas, I'm only borrowing them to have a little fun and I promise to return them unharmed (well, at least mostly unharmed). I'm making no money off of this and this is written for entertainment purposes only. Any characters that are not recognizable as being part of the SW universe belong to me, but you guys probably figured that out, right?
    Note: This is my first attempt at writing a mystery of any kind so please be kind!

    Things enclosed in *'s are *italic*
    Things enclosed in <>'s are <telepathic> communication through the Master/Padawan bond. Things enclosed in // //'s are //visions// Things enclosed in / /'s are /memories/

    Shrouded By Darkness
    ~ Part One: Prisoner 19347-21192 ~

    Obi-Wan:

    Journal Entry; March 6th, 0700 Hours

    For what seems like the millionth time in my life, I don't know what to do. Before I always had someone to turn to for advice; Yoda, Bant, Cerasi, and finally Qui-Gon, but now there's no one who can help me. Qui-Gon, the person I trust the most, is the one who simply cannot know. My Master's been through so much already. He's experienced so much pain and I don't want to add to it, not now, not when we're finally getting close to each other. I know he wouldn't blame me, it's not that that I'm afraid of. I just don't want to cause him any more pain. I don't want my lips to be the ones that tell him of yet another betrayal that will scar his soul.

    I was planning to tell him, once we got closer. After we discussed our relationship and vowed to start over I thought that I finally *would* be able to tell him but then?then he almost died and I found out something about him that still chills me to think about. It fascinates me to think that such pure evil could spawn the goodness in Qui-Gon's soul, but now that I know it all makes sense.

    I'm stupid for not having seen it before! It was the one missing link to solving the puzzle and I had the answer in front of me for so long and didn't even realize it. I always thought that he was crazy; I never bothered to think of what it would mean if he wasn't. Maybe that's why I never saw what was right in front me. Oh well. There's no changing the past. What's done is done and there's nothing I can do now. All I can do is move on?and pray that Qui-Gon never finds out. I don't even want to think about what will happen if he realizes or if the Council decides to tell him. It would just add another scar to his tattered soul. I can't let that happen.

    What will happen if he ever does find out? The thought sends chills down my back. It would hurt him, I know it would. He's already been through so much. Would he push me away? I fear greatly that he would. I know he would. He was afraid to trust me from the beginning because of Xanatos and if he ever found out about this?it would rip away the trust and security he's managed to get back from my predecessor. I don't want him to push me away?I can't stand the thought of things being like?before. I can't lose the closeness we have, I need our friendship so badly. The thought of losing
  2. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    I am DEEPLY intruiged and I would love more very soon! :D

    Don't worry be happy Obi! :) Wait, Obi torture you say? Hah ha!! *cracks knuckes* This is gonna be good! [face_devil]
  3. Knight_Obi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2001
    star 3
    OOOoooo

    This is very intriguing Firedrake. I can't wait for more!!! I wonder what is the secret and who is this mysterious prisoner...hmmm

    <the wheels inside Knight_Obi's head is turning slowly>

    Ahhh...just post so I can find out!!!

    Knight_Obi
  4. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Oooo goody! I love the summary! Obi torture! How delicious! That was a very cool start!

    More soon please! :D
  5. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    As usual with your stories,Great beginnings,MORE soon please.PEACE Ewen
  6. ApprenticeM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2001
    star 4
    You've got my attention!!! More please!!
  7. Senni_Arava Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2000
    star 3
  8. Broken-Sabre Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2001
    star 2
    Great start. Can we expect more soon?
  9. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
    is this a seqeul to a story?
  10. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Intriguing indeed!!!

    That first post leaves so many fascinating unanswered questions. What secret did Obi-Wan discover about his Master that send chills thru him??? What of his own secret he hides from Qui-Gon and who is crazy???

    I've been a lurker before and will try to be more supportive Firedrake!! :) :)

    Post often, post soon!!
  11. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Hi everyone! Thanks for the FB, I'm glad you like it so far! And yes, for all you sick puppies, there IS Obi-torture in this story, both physical and emotional. Major angst fic!

    Yes, Cheryl_Kenobi, this IS a sequel to another story, actually, five other stories. However, you don't have to have read the previous ones to understand what's going on here, there might just be couple times when I refer to things that might confuse you. This story is a mystery so mostly, if you're wondering what's going on, it's going to be because of that, and not because you haven't read the previous stories. The first four stories in the series have very little, if nothing, to do with this story. There is a really short story I wrote that's sort of an intro into this one, that introduces the mystery (sort of) but it's a teaser to this one. If anyone wants to read the previous stories (and trust me, you don't HAVE to), please send me a private message or e-mail me at:

    Firedrake88@yahoo.com

    Now, here's the next part!

    Shrouded By Darkness
    ~ Part Two: Cutting Disappointment ~

    Obi-Wan:

    Thick beads of sweat formed on my face and rolled down my forehead to soak the tight black blindfold that covered my eyes. My heart was pounding mercilessly and my breathing was harsh and filled my ears with the sound of my failure. Each breath I took seemed smaller than the last and my lungs were burning from the lack of air. I was so exhausted that my hands were trembling around the hilt of my lightsaber and my knees were near the point of buckling.

    I was surrounded my five small probes each of which was randomly shooting blaster fire at me. My job was to block the blaster fire using my lightsaber. Usually this exercise was so simple for me that I could do it in my sleep but today I just couldn't find my center. By reaching out with the Force I could tell exactly where the small probes where located but my lack of concentration prevented me from sensing the blaster fire in time to block it. I had already been hit five times and I could feel Qui-Gon's disappointment hitting me in waves.

    As much as I wanted to impress Qui-Gon and make him proud of me I couldn't stop my mind from wondering. He had escaped from prison. What if he was on his way here? What if he wanted to see me again? Or worse, what if he wanted to see my Master? For the longest time I had thought that I had healed and moved on from what happened but now I knew that I hadn't. If I had truly healed why was I so afraid now?

    In one last desperate attempt to save this exercise and redeem myself I reached out with the Force to relocate the five small moving probes. Two of them were directly in front of me and three of them were in back of me. One of the two in front of me was about to fire. I could sense it.

    Just as the probe emitted the blaster fire pulse I leapt forward and brought my 'saber up to deflect it. A small wave of pain traveled up the tired muscles of my arms but at the sound of my 'saber making solid contact with the blaster fire I felt a tiny surge of triumph and relief wash through me. I could still do this. All I had to do was push away my fatigue and center myself in the Force. I had done this hundreds of times before.

    He had escaped from the prison yesterday morning. Perelious Prime was about a day's travel from Coruscant. He could already be on the planet? What if he tried to hurt me again? What would I do then? I could always tell the Council but how would I keep Qui-Gon from finding out? Qui-Gon couldn't find out. He couldn't. I would not hurt him for the world. He was my Master, I cared for him.

    No, I couldn't let my mind wonder. I had to reach out to the Force and release my fear and doubt into it. I couldn't let my past cloud the present and the future. Pushing my emotions into the back of my mind I concentrated on the training lesson. There would be time to deal with my anxieties later.

    Again I reached out with the Force to sense when the next probe was going to fire. Much to my dismay
  12. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Poor Obi! He's just worried!!

    School for you too huh? Darn! We all gotta go!

    No worries, I can wait for plot developments! Just keep up those cool posts! :D
  13. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Please post again today.I know with school you will be busy,but you should not torture us as you do Obi.Who is this man and why does the council know of him,but master Qui Gonn does not.Very intriguing beginning.PEACE Ewen
  14. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    I started school Aug. 20, so I know how you feel! School kinda eats up time, doesn't it? Ah well... at least it's a good time to talk to my fellow Obi-torture fans!

    More soon please! :D
  15. ApprenticeM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2001
    star 4
    I say "Death to Darth School!!!" We need more time to read the fics here!!! But I'll wait anyway........
  16. Cow_Girl Chapter Rep Niagara ON, CA

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2001
    star 5
    ??????
    I am just a little bit confused, was it Qui-go that was in jail? and why is it that Obi is going around calling himself "Benjamen" all of a sudden? Don't get me wrong, I love this story so far, I think I will read it again and see if Ican figure this out :)
  17. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Sorry that you're confsued Cow_Girl. Maybe I can clear a couple things up for you. I can't tell you much, 'cause this IS a mystery, but I assure you that Qui was never in jail (at least not in my fic). As for Obi using 'Benjamen', I mention that later on in the story.

    Anyway, I'm enjoying my last few hours of freedom here before I have to go to school tomorrow *sigh*

    The next post will be up shortly! Hopefully I'll be able to continue posting everyday but I'm thinking that it'll take me a few days to get back into the swing of things at school.

    Thanks for the FB, everyone!
  18. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Hi! Here's the next part of the story!

    Qui-Gon:

    Leaving a very crushed Padawan behind I strode regretfully out of the training room without looking back. Obi-Wan had performed terribly today. He had been unfocused and had not been able to find his center. As much as I wanted to reassure him and tell him that everything was all right I knew that I could not. He was my Padawan Learner and I had to be very demanding with him. I could not let my personal affection for the boy get in the way of his training.

    It was a lot easier to think that than to actually do it though. He had tried very hard to focus and find his center and hadn't given up until he had fallen down. My heart wanted to let that count for something but the teacher in me knew that it could not. Obi-Wan was a Jedi who could do much better than he just had.

    Obi-Wan's bright, tear-glazed eyes filled my mind suddenly. They had looked so sad and ashamed that their usual blue-green color had faded to do a dull grey. He had tried to blink back the tears but I knew that as soon as I had left the room he had lost his battle against them. I wanted so badly to turn around and brush away the tears my coldness had caused but I forced myself to continue walking. Yes, I had been hard on the boy but only because he needed me to be hard. I could *not* let myself become too coddling with him.

    There would be times when I needed to be gentle with him and when it would be all right to brush away his tears and hold him in my arms. Now was not one of them. He had to be able to find his center even if something was bothering him or he was having a bad day. On a mission disaster wouldn't wait for him to focus.

    I couldn't get the imagine of his devastated eyes out of my mind. He had felt so ashamed and unworthy. As a Jedi is supposed to do he had met my gaze but later, after my cold rebuke, he had hung his head and?

    Distracted by the sad vision of my Padawan's head bent low in shame I walked through the Temple hallways without paying attention to where I was going. Mechanically rounding a corner my silent thoughts were interrupted when I ran straight into Mace Windu.

    Surprised and slightly embarrassed I fell back a pace and tried to think of something to say. I didn't notice Yoda standing at Mace Windu's side until he spoke.

    ?Humph!? he said, ?watch where you are going you should,? he chastised severely, ?or run over someone smaller than you, you could.?

    I lowered my gaze to meet Yoda's amused eyes. ?I am sorry,? I said with a slight inclination of my head, ?I was distracted.? I turned back to looked at Made Windu, ?I hope I did not startle you.?

    Yoda answered for him. ?Startle us you did not for paying attention we were. Grown to expect you to walk around in a daze we have. Unusual this is not.?

    The humor in the small Master's voice did not escape me. He found this all very amusing. ?I will endeavor to achieve the greatness of my seniors,? I said with a small smile and a slight bow and then quickly made my way past the two Council members before they could try to stop me.

    ?Impudent you always were,? Yoda called after me, thumping his gimmer stick on the floor, ?pick up on your impulsive traits Obi-Wan will.?

    I smiled and continued to walk down the long hallway without answering him.

    ?One of these days you're going to knock over Yoda without realizing it and *then* you'll be in trouble!? I looked up to see Tahl standing several feet ahead of me in the hallway, a hint of humor showing in her beautiful sightless eyes.

    I smiled even though I knew she couldn't see me. ?I am fine Tahl, thank you for asking. How are you today?? I answered.

    ?Where is Obi-Wan?? Tahl asked, ignoring my question.

    I sighed, ?Obi-Wan is either still in the training room, or on his way to the healers,? I said half-heartedly.

    ?Oh, no. I know that voice, Qui-Gon. What happened? What did you do to the boy now??

    I scoffed slightly, ?I didn't *do* anything to Obi-Wan. He?performed less than satisfactorily today i
  19. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Are you sorry or are you lovin it?LOL LOL Great Post,now is school gonna prolong another post.I mean that was a cliffhanger big enough to hang all of us.PEACE Ewen
  20. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
    :_| WWWWWAAAAHHHH!!!

    you you you you leave it there?

    post now or barney will be paying you a vist very soon
  21. ApprenticeM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2001
    star 4
    Are you REALLY sorry? Or are you just sitting back loving this? POST!! NOW!!!
  22. KelLarador Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2001
    star 1
    Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Thats all anyone seems intersted in these days.
  23. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
    I NEED MORE MORE MORE:

    Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture Obi Torture

    AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT GOES WITH IT :)
  24. Senni_Arava Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2000
    star 3
    ACK! NO! POST! NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    :D
  25. Firedrake88 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2001
    star 1
    Hi! Sorry that I didn't get to post yesterday but it was the first day of school and you guys know how it goes! Here's the next part! Thanks for the FB and for all you Obi-torture lovers, just be patient and you'll have your fill!


    Shrouded By Darkness
    ~ Part Three: Darkly Robed Man ~

    Qui-Gon:

    My heart leapt into my throat and for a moment I was frozen in time and all I could do was stare at the wretched form of my precious Padawan. His face was covered in blood that dripped down from his eyes, nose, and mouth, to fall onto his clothing. The clothing itself was torn, tattered and drenched in blood. Beneath what remained of his tunic I could see cutting slashes on my Padawan's rising and falling chest and stomach. Slashes that could only have been caused by a belt or whip. The front part of the boy's sleeves had been torn off completely and his arms were covered in deep cuts and gashes. No matter where I looked my Padawan was covered in blood. His blood.

    "Padawan," I whispered, suddenly snapping out of my trance to fall to my knees in front of my poor Obi-Wan. "Oh, Padawan, what happened to you?"

    With a trembling hand I reached out to touch Obi-Wan's blood covered face. I ran my fingers down my Padawan's sticky cheek and over his mouth but the boy didn't stir. He was unconscious.

    With what little sane thought I had left I used the Force to ease the boy up into the air, trying not to cause any more damage, and then gathered his limp form in my arms. For a moment I cradled his head against my chest but then I quickly made my way out of the garden and towards the healers.

    The panic had seeped out of my body but instead I was overwhelmed with dread. Who would do such a thing to my sweet, innocent Padawan? When had this happened? Why had I not felt anything through our bond before Obi-Wan had closed it? *Why* had Obi-Wan closed it?

    As I strode purposefully towards the Healers' Ward I took more time to study Obi-Wan's face. He looked so young, laying unconscious and bleeding in my arms. So childlike and innocent. His sleeping face was etched with misery and he looked very much younger than his thirteen years.

    Part of Obi-Wan's halfway destroyed tunic fell open to reveal more of his blood covered chest. A knot formed in my stomach and I felt suddenly sick and disgusted. The blood...the blood was everywhere. It covered him. It covered his chest and stomach, his arms, his face? Force there was so much blood on my small, defenseless Padawan, what if he had lost too much to survive? No. No, I couldn't think like that.

    What was wrong with me? I had seen worse things done to people and it had never affected me like this. This was different though. This was my Padawan. *My* Padawan. This was the boy who had so defiantly stood on Bandomeer with me, ready to risk his life to save mine. This was the boy who had wormed his way into my heart and it sickened me to see him like this.

    My heart constricted suddenly as I realized something. The skin under Obi-Wan's eyes was red and swollen and on the parts of his face that the blood didn't cover I could see the trail of tears? Obi-Wan had been crying. Not crying because of the pain or the attack but because of me. My words had made the boy cry and now?now I didn't even know if I'd ever have the chance to apologize for them.

    "Master Jinn!" Someone called my name and I looked around to realize that I had made it all the way to the healers without even realizing it. It was Master Healer Alida who had uttered my name.

    Alida rushed up to me, concern and horror written over her face, "Master Jinn," she said again, "what happened to him?"

    "I don't know," I said, my voice so hoarse that I didn't even recognize it, "I found him like this. Please, please help him."

    Several other healers approached me with a gurney and Alida indicated that I should lay Obi-Wan down on it. I knew that the healers were Obi-Wan's only hope of surviving but I found myself reluctant to part with the boy.

    "Be strong, Obi-Wan," I wh
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.