Sidious, Snoke and Salacious B Crumb’s Sarcastic and Sassy Situation Saloon (Fanfic Social Thread)

Random thing, my cousin said I'm a straight-up neckbeard for nicknaming my weight training program 'Brawl' after Warlord Zsinj's flagship in the expanded universe.

 

Eh, why not?

 

If it keeps you motivated, call it what you will! "If it's stupid, but it works, it's not stupid."

Congrats, @Anedon! You've been stressed out about this for a while; hope the job works out for you. You'll be great at it, and hopefully your dad will get off your case.

And happy for @Ewok Poet, good news from your doc! Vindicated! Keep focusing on getting yourself to a point where you feel strong & healthy.

@Briannakin, I can't believe you have to think twice about studying in LONDON!!!!
One of my favorite cities! A PhD is a big undertaking, but depending on your focus of study, it could be a good long-term investment. I've been asked about doing it but for what I do, the cost wouldn't be worth it.

And I already told @Chyntuck how happy I am that she is headed towards resolution on this. Taking on the Nazis! Maybe we will need to call you Indiana Chyntuck? We are all so happy that the police caught these guys; hope the courts give them what is coming to them.

My hands sometimes get cold if I've been sitting too long, @Lady_Misty. So, either turn up the heat or get up & move around a bit? My office used to always be FREEZING; I started wearing thin gloves and socks over my socks. They've turned the heat up lately, didn't need to do it this year. Fingerless gloves, though...old white cotton ones that they use archivally, with the fingertips snipped off? I used to buy them in photo shops. They're also good for very dry hands/chilblains...slather hands with lotion or oil & put the gloves on before bed. Awkward to sleep in, but very smooth skin.

Otherwise, I'd recommend a doctor, to check for circulatory problems. My dad's feet are always cold, even in summer, and of course he had some sort of blockage in his vein.

 

Thanks @Mistress_Renata My father is indeed pretty pleased that I got accepted. I hope this will help us strengthen our relationship again.

 

@Mistress_Renata - Thank you. And thank you for having changed my life, in a way, with last month's criticism.

Now I have only one more step to go - overcoming my near-pathological fear of email, being attacked verbally, bad feedback from clients, rejection for press releases, free samples, photo passes et cetera. Then I think everything will be A-OK.

Also, smokers...what I would like to say about them right now is not TOS-compilant and it involves a bunch of sinister things. I still don't feel well after having been exposed to too much tobacco five times within ten days. Lots of water, perfumed tissues, Aerius, Avamys, eucalyptus essential oil, eucalyptus chewing gum, saline nasal drops, eye drops.

 

gg

 

@Kurisan - No, I have a fear of being rejected for those. There's this band I adore, really weird and funny folk performing on Saturday and I know their singer, their guitarist and their video director/close collaborator in other projects, I have amazing pics from some last week's shows (all of which I freeloaded at) and I should just message one or more of them on FB and show them what I'm capable of.

I'll post some of those pics here, to see if I'm delusional or something, in a bit.

It all comes from this friend from Italy who sent me an email in all caps back in April 2007 and then yelled at me many, many times within the next year and a half or so.

 

@Mistress_Renata the house is colder than it could be because the furnace is working on and off and we do have electric heaters. I will admit that I do have nerve damage in my fingers. I'll have to hunt down my fingerless gloves and work on moving around more. And it is Winter is refusing to leave..

 

gg

 

@Kurisan Don't be sorry. It's okay. The fact that you get it instead of dismissing it is a good thing. People dismiss things without thinking. And they do that often. Sadly...

 

@Lady_Misty : When my hands randomly get cold, I like to wrap them around a mug of hot beverage. Coffee is my personal favorite. But that's just me.

 

Don't drink coffee and if I drink too hot chocolate I get sick but hot soup is on the docket for lunch.

 

Is impostor syndrome a legit thing? Just did a test and it said that I have a moderate level of it.

Spoiler

I feel so weird here sometimes. I re-read the thread from the start and the previous one from up to the point I got the wrong diagnosis and it was kind of better without me. I clog it whenever I'm around, I'm clingy, I'm easily hurt and whatnot. And I kind of never belonged.

I don't like superhero things. I don't like blockbusters. I listen to instrumental music only when it's extremely wacky, stuff like modular synth manipulation. I never read a whole romance novel. I never read LOTR. I never watched Star Trek. I'm not a gamer. I don't drink alcohol. I will never have a bachelor's degree, let alone anything better than that, because it's too late for that. I will not get married and have children, because that requires a relationship and those can destroy a person's stability, a thing that's so hard to gain.

All of that, plus I'm "foreign" in so many ways. Not American, not north-American, not NATO and not European Union. It feels so weird. I will have to work really hard to feel as adequate as all of you in terms of freedom, money and the things that make life worth living again. It's a hard job. Sometimes, the wall feels as big as it had been in the 1990s. People talk about things and I'm like...huh?!

And a person who chased all the guys away because she did not want anything on their terms, did not want to be somebody's sex buddy, second option (pains of having a great body, but weird/quirky and without a pretty face) or whatever, who never gave birth running a romance thread? That was weird and wrong from the start. I wouldn't even know how to chat up a person, let alone what to do with them. Those days are gone and it's for the best. Less opportunities for bad people to hurt me, expose me in physical or mental way, abandon me and then tell others about it.

I guess this was bound to come after a day of extreme euphoria. Like, that inner judgemental dialogue, going...

...Okay, you're healthy, you're not depressed, you're left with your stupid personality disorder which you can manage, so now what? Look at what you have missed and what you have overlooked! Look at what the others have been doing, how much they gained, how much they improved and created while you were all alone, unable to cry in your stupid 1938 bed! Oh, you got a mattress cover? How great, people own cars and travel by planes. Oh, you want to give away the old duvet you used as a mattress cover to somebody who's poor? LOL, who do you think you are, Mother Theresa herself? She wouldn't love you, anyway. You were nominated at awards? You're going to WordCamp? Bands thank you for show photos? Look, people pity you because you're trying so hard at everything.

Gah. I wish I had been a man, born in, say, Finland (apparently the happiest country in the world - beaucop €€, too...), doing cool things, dating a feminist woman (no marriage, please) and having cool kids with no F codes with her. Oh, and running a kickass startup. Life would've been just rad...

...but do I know anything about life? O_O

 

I totally think imposter syndrome is a real thing, it tends to affect women more than men (which I think is a comment on our society as a whole). I think that's the real reason I decided not to try and go to medical school when I was in college the first time, which directly contributed to a few years of total crap, and the reason I talk myself out of doing anything else.

I think everyone has moments of doubt and wonders about themselves. You can't help where you were born, and you don't need to like the things other people like. It's great that we're all different, it exposes us to different things. Yes, most people on here are from North America so we have things in common that go with that, but we learn from you, and Chyn, and Anedon, and Gamiel, and everyone else who isn't from that area. The more we all share the more we learn about each other and the world, and that can only be a great thing. We might not always comment on posts, but we read them and we learn.
Or if nothing else we might find a new band or TV show we like we'd not have ever discovered on our own.

I just wanted to specifically address this part. It is NEVER too late. I just finished my bachelor's degree in December, something I'd been putting off for years and years because of something that happened the first time I was in school. My mom finished her Master's degree at 40. I was in respiratory school with someone who was 45. The physician I had when I lived somewhere else didn't go to medical school until he was 40. I say again, it's never too late if it's something you want to do.

That is AWESOME! And heck yeah, while you are there you might as well spend a few days exploring. I loved London when I was there for a long weekend.

 

Fully agree on this

 

Fully agree - it is never too late to go back to educate yourself. One of my good friends in my History degree was actually a woman nearly twice my age with two kids. Lovely woman.

I'd be studying in Leicester, which is kinda in the middle of England, but, yeah, I do have to think long and hard if I want to do my PhD. I'd love to, but the logistics would be a nightmare.

But yeah, London is great. I spent a week there nearly 5 years ago now and I'm stoked to be going back.

I am currently so very tired. I had to go to the grocery store and they had a case lot sale, so I ended up buying way more than I needed. On the bright side, I won't have to buy toilet paper for awhile I need to finish a report for school, but I also just want to nap

 

@Ewok Poet - I was literally just trying to find a recent BBC Website thing on "imposter syndrome", a few hours ago, to reassure your Captain Rakkaus insecurity.

Yes, it is a thing.

Edit: Okay, it helps now that I know what it is called - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-36082469

On to studying for a degree, anything short of a Fahrenheit 451 scenario, where all the books have been burned; combined with internet loss; and a Cloverfield rampage; you should still be okay to study for a degree.

Age, at least, has no bearing.

 

My Mom at 61(?) is/was heavily considering finishing her Associate's Degree in Teaching to help her when she substitute's at schools

 

Tried to nap, it didn't work. Now I'm just feeling sick and less motivated to work.

But I just wanted to add, imposture syndrome is very real and can manifest itself in different ways.

Also, yes, unfortunately, due to the imperfect world we life in, we are, in some ways, a product of where we were born. Yes, most of us are from North American/English speaking countries so we probably have similar socio-economic background or general interests just due to the demographic Star Wars and English-written fanfic typically attracts, but we also learn from those of you who might not be. It's okay to not be able to relate to everyone around here; you can still belong and have fun.

And we all struggle with different things. Some people are just more open about it than others and both approaches are okay.

I don't want to paint my life as perfect because I'm fortunate enough to be in a situation where I can fly across the world to get an education. A lot of dark stuff has also had to happen for me to be where I am, but I just don't like sharing the dark stuff (and some stuff I can't).

 

@Briannakin is right: just because we don't talk about the darker side of our lives doesn't mean that someone's life is perfect.

Some darker stuff behind the spoiler tag

Spoiler

My Dad's three children from his first marriage were sexually abused by their grandmother and might have sexually abused my brother Joe and I, my Mom thinks it's a possibility because she saw things in me that she sees in herself and she was sexually abused by someone, and because of how toxic my Dad's ex mother-in-law was/is my Dad had to surrender custody of his children or the State, local government, would have taken my mother's two children from her first marriage and the three/four children my parents had together and as it was her eldest at the age of fourteen/fifteen wasn't supposed to be with us unsupervised because he might 'hurt us' (which was a valid fear since he broke a one or two supports on the porch railing and broke a panel on a light cover and said a word I will not type to our Mom because she was going to get one thing at the store and we might have been sick at the time as well all because he was angry with her but honestly we all have thought and said some nasty things about our parents when we were angry or annoyed with them).

I can have thoughts of self harm and sometimes look at really dangerous things and a part of me says 'that would be fun to do'. I once walked on a frozen stream and followed it up the mountain as far as I could despite my feet breaking through the ice at least three times. I take medication to help with the impulses and my moods; my life isn't perfect.

 

@Lady_Misty & @Ewok Poet -- thanks for sharing your "darker" selves ... it takes great courage to do so and to surmount the icky horrific stuff to even function much less contribute to a community of like-minded folks with entertaining fics.




(We need a chocolate emojie)

 

Ditto to what Warm' says.

Seeing such reveals here, is encouragement for the rest of us, should we arrive in a dark place, and need somewhere safe to vent.

 

No way, man! Education has no age! Education is life-long learning, not age specific--society makes it seem like it's supposed to be age specific. Having kids doesn't "require" a relationship--not in this time era. And it's good you don't drink!

Welcome to the club--we're all foreign in our own little bizarre ways--it's what makes us human.

Also, I hope @Chyntuck feels better! Infinite cats for you!

 

Chyntuck is sick? Awww!

 

@Chyntuck - Get well soon.

@Ewok Poet - Age is simply a number and as long as your mind works...It. Is. Not. Too. Late. To. Get. A. Bachelors...

@Mistress_Renata - My cousin didn't mean anything insulting by it, we were just trying to define the term and he used my nickname for my weight training program as an example. Incidentally, I call it 'Brawl' because it's to strengthen me for my training in Brazilian jiu jitsu, Muay Thai, and boxing...