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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Before - Legends Silhouetted by Light - An Obi-Wan Short Story - [UPDATED June 27th]

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by KrystalBlaze, Aug 15, 2004.

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  1. MistiWhitesun

    MistiWhitesun Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2004
    :D Good post.

    [face_blush] Sorry about how that comment ended up. Thank you for catching me on it. It was unintentional. That was a mild example that came to mind?I didn't mean anything about the person himself. [face_blush] I didn't even realize it was on this thread. I've edited it out.

    Haven't you noticed how practically every commoner takes what Obi says to have the opposite meaning?

    I think the sea's angry from?
    ? an injustice which happened to Obi's family
    ? an injustice done by Obi's family
    ? Obi-Wan's back!

    Obi-Wan a Sea Dancer... [nod] Okay, so he's particularly sensitive to it?from his midichlorian count, & possibly his Jedi training?

    :) Keep writing! :)
     
  2. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    wow! great post Krystal! just as confusing and cliffie as ever, but very dramatic (to quote Obi here, lol)!

    i love how you treat this story line--so different & original--keep it up! :)
     
  3. ca_tron

    ca_tron Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Wow. He can feel the ocean. Cool.
     
  4. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Wow poor Antoya :( being insecure can suck at times.

    Oi! Obi feels the sea...well one with the Force could anyhoo, but I bet this connection is more severe because of his affiliation with the 'Sea Dancers'. I hope he's all right! Guess we'll have to see what's up, perhaps Obi can help decipher why the Sea is so upset.
     
  5. snowbee-wan kenobi

    snowbee-wan kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2000
    Great post, again!
    What's up with Obi?
     
  6. JediVeloJinn

    JediVeloJinn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 2003
    Hello Krystal

    I liked the parts where Obi-Wan is being tested by all the adepts.

    Terran sounds like a good OC.

    Liked Obi-Wan's thought: "How dramatic". Found it funny.

    More! Please :)

    ~Velo
     
  7. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2002
    What's up with Obi?? Really want to know, do tell soon please!!
     
  8. snowbee-wan kenobi

    snowbee-wan kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2000
    uppers, can't wait to read more
     
  9. KrystalBlaze

    KrystalBlaze Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Misti - Sorry about jumping down your throat like that. I just got a bit defensive; I hope you understand, and thank you for your reply on this story. It always makes my day, and sorry again. :D

    Nice guesses, too. ;)

    SarkaVrae - Original? MY story? You're too kind! :) Thanks you for the reply!

    ca_tron - Yes. Very cool. :D

    Kynstar - Yes, perhaps he can... *shifty eyes* Aren't Jedi so cool? ;) Thank you for the reply!

    snowbee - many things are up with Obi, I just chose to write one. ;) Thanks for the up!

    JediVeloJinn - Tehee! So glad you like Terrell! I love him, he's such a great guy. ;) Thanks for the feedback; it's appreciated.

    Arwen - Will a few minutes be soon enough? :)

    Next post in a few minutes

    -Krystal

     
  10. KrystalBlaze

    KrystalBlaze Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Thankies to Jaxx!

    -----

    Voices.

    ?After you?re executed, may I have your groundcar??

    ?Evan, please shut up, will you??

    Coldness crept through his bones, and he gritted his teeth to keep them from shaking. He moved his arms around himself, searching for any warmth. He felt a heavy, scratchy blanket covering him and he gripped it tightly. A drum throbbed behind his eyes.

    ?Turn the warmer up, Evan.?

    ?It?s a sauna in here already, Terrell.?

    ?Turn it up!?

    ?Eee, alright. You don?t have to kill me over it.?

    His eyes felt jaded, and he worked to find the strength to open them. His eyes moved rapidly behind his eyelashes as he called to the Force. He laid inside its protective canopy, taking warmth and strength. A strange noise pounded around him, and he opened his eyes.

    ?Eee! Terrell, he?s awake!?

    Obi-Wan was laying in the back of the groundcar, Terrell holding his head in his lap. He stared up at the light overhead, eyes slowly adjusting. Evan was staring from the front seat with worried eyes. Rain beat at the groundcar harshly, causing the pounding in Obi-Wan?s head to increase slightly. He groaned, moving his hand from the blanket to his forehead, where Terrell was wiping with a small wet rag.

    ?You?re awake,? Terrell said in relief.

    ?What happened?? Obi-Wan asked weakly, trying to sit up but not finding the strength. He tugged the blanket around his tighter, holding his teeth still.

    ?It started raining,? Terrell said indifferently, motioning for Evan to toss him another blanket. He laid it over Obi-Wan quickly. ?Are you still cold??

    ?Yes,? Obi-Wan whispered, hating the helpless state he was in. He could barely move his arms.

    ?Evan, turn the warmer up,? Terrell snapped.

    ?It?s all the way up, Terrell,? Evan said in a tired voice, head pressed against the window. He had removed his tunic and was sucking air rapidly. ?And you don?t have anymore blankets in the back.?

    Terrell took the rag away and tossed it in the front. ?Obi-Wan, how do you feel besides cold??

    ?Cold,? Obi-Wan said. ?I?m tired. What happened??

    ?I told you not to feel into it!? Terrell chided. ?The ocean is being stirred, Obi-Wan. If you delve into it completely, if you delve and feel the feelings of such a large ocean, it will overwhelm you. With training, you?ll learn how to control the emotions and when to cut them off, but you don?t have that yet!?

    He closed his eyes. ?But the emotions came from the Force??

    ?I don?t care where they came from,? Terrell said. ?What matters is they happen.?

    ?No,? Obi-Wan said. ?You don?t understand. ?The Force binds us? I learnt into the sea. I felt into the branch of the Force that keeps with the sea, and I couldn?t cut the Force off. The emotions came through the Force, and I can?t cut off the Force.?

    ?What is the Force, Obi-Wan?? Evan asked. ?A Jedi thing??

    His head hurt. ?Yes? but no. The Force belongs to everyone, but can only be harnessed by the Jedi. The Force is the universal connector; it flows through all and binds everyone. A Jedi?s strength flows from the Force. The Force guides my actions if it so wishes? I can be a conduit if I must be.?

    Terrell and Evan did not talk for a few moments. Obi-Wan again tried to pull himself up, and was amazed by the weakness in his limbs. ?I can?t move, Terrell.?

    Terrell slowly looked back down to him. ?I?m afraid you?ve been spent, Obi-Wan,? he said. ?The ocean thoroughly had its way with you.? He paused, and looked into the window. ?I don?t know why it is so angry. I need to go back.?

    Evan jumped. ?What? Not right now, you?ll catch your death. The wind has picked up even more.? He checked his wrist chrono. ?We need to get Obi-Wan back. He?ll need to see a Healer, and I?m sure the Queen is worried.?

    ?I don?t need to see a Healer,? Obi-Wan said, shivering.

    ?Ah, Obi-Wan,? Evan said. ?You?re freezing. Unfortunately, you happened to fall right into the ocean, and it started to rain before we got you to the groundcar. You may have caught a cold.?

    ?
     
  11. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Yay he's ok!! Hmmm separating yourself from the Force? Sounds scary. :( Hopefully he can 'refind' the Force afterward. I bet it's as difficult in grasping it again.. then again maybe not hehehe

    Can't wait to find out more about this technique!! :D

    Great work!!
     
  12. ca_tron

    ca_tron Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Sounds very onimous. Please comtinue.
     
  13. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    Krystal, I can't believe I missed this story. Beautiful.
     
  14. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    great post! I like how Qui is so concerned--I think Obi should be too! :eek:

    Couldn't he just "tune" the force down a bit? or put up some shields? I'm worried about Obi....

    good work! :)
     
  15. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2002
    Separate from the Force?? Why do I have a bad feeling about this? More more more more more more!!!
     
  16. MistiWhitesun

    MistiWhitesun Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2004
    [raises eyebrows]

    You're sorry? What for? I deserved it.

    Hm? Obi-Wan's being intrigued about the sea's condition further suggests its anger has something to do with him.

    I noticed a few typos? I don't remember where one was, but here's the other one:

    ?I wouldn?t have taught this to you if I could have helped it.?

    Considering Qui-Gon's only about to teach Obi-Wan if he absolutely has to, that shouldn't be in the past tense. Instead of "wouldn't have taught? if I could have helped" should be a form of either "won't teach? if I can help" or "would rather not teach? if I can help".

    Sorry for the lack of musing questions. I'm sick, tired, and highly stressed, so merely thinking clearly is difficult.

    Keep writing! :)
     
  17. meaganandsasha

    meaganandsasha Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 2004
    Just recently found this story and it's really good... keep up the good work....

    Of course there is a little cliffie here and to qoute oh so many in Star Wars...I have a bad feeling about this.....
     
  18. Jaxx_w

    Jaxx_w Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 2004
    I love Evan and Terrell. Especially Evan. Although won't pick favourites. Their banter is so fun.

    Loved seeing the interaction with Qui-Gon again. I've been missing him. Just like I'm sure Obi-Wan has. Let's hope the new technique will help Obi with his special talent.

    p.s. sorry for being such a rubbish beta lately! (Dissertation constantly in my mind) :(
     
  19. snowbee-wan kenobi

    snowbee-wan kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2000
    Wow! This is getting really interesting. Doesn't sound like separating himself from the force is the best idea...yikes!

    glad to see a little bit of Qui again too!

    great post!!!
     
  20. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2004
    I've been lurking around the boards for the past few weeks - delurked to say that your story is just...wow. Amazing. Love the way you brought Harken to life - and described Obi-Wan's feelings. And the descriptions of his eyes...:)

    More, please...? Soon? Sooooooon?
     
  21. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2004
  22. KrystalBlaze

    KrystalBlaze Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Eeep, sorry for the lack of replies. :) I've been rather busy exercising my new fandom... Danny Phantom! *dreamy sigh*

    ...

    I'm allowed my weak moments too, ya know!

    Kynstar

    Hmmm separating yourself from the Force? Sounds scary. Hopefully he can 'refind' the Force afterward.

    Oooooh. Interesting concept. What if he couldn't? *eye twitches* Down, plot bunny, down!

    Thank you for taking the time to reply. :) And for that plot bunny... *runs*

    ca_tron

    VERRRRRYYY ominous indeed...

    Thanks for the reply!

    Zara

    Hi! :D Haven't seen you in forever!

    Krystal, I can't believe I missed this story. Beautiful.

    Thank you so much! You're too kind.

    SarkaVrae

    I like how Qui is so concerned--I think Obi should be too!

    Probably should be... more than he is, that is.

    Couldn't he just "tune" the force down a bit? or put up some shields? I'm worried about Obi....

    He probably should be that, too... but then where we get all our angst and pain? :p Thanks for the review.

    Arwen

    Separate from the Force?? Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

    BADDDDDD feeling. A very bad feeling. I wonder who's going to say it in ROTS? Hmm... I really am curious. If it's Padme, I'll just die. It can't be Padme... it needs to be Yoda, or Mace.

    And thanks for the comments. :)

    Misti

    Obi-Wan's being intrigued about the sea's condition further suggests its anger has something to do with him.

    Yeah... you're probably right. But who knows? ... *giggles* ME!

    So sorry you're sick. :( Thanks for the reply.

    meaganandsasha

    Welcome to the story! :D Always glad to see a new reader - or readers? *points at username*

    Thank you for taking time to comment!

    Jaxx

    Hey, don't worry about the beta reader thing. I've hit a rough patch, and it'll be a while before I churn out anything worth being beta read that you haven't already read anyway. Don't sweat it too much.

    I love Evan and Terrell. Especially Evan. Although won't pick favourites. Their banter is so fun.

    I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with you there, dear: I'm in love with Terrell. :) I love him so much, I'm patheic. I've got him pictured in my mind, so right and perfect... and he's got Ewan's eyes. *shiver*

    *coughs* Anyhow... Thanks for replying! :D

    snowbee

    Wow! This is getting really interesting. Doesn't sound like separating himself from the force is the best idea...yikes!

    See, but that's the good thing: it's not the brightest idea in the world and thus he does it! He's flawed, just like everyone else, so he's not perfect, and won't care that I'm not perfect, and will...

    *cough again*

    Yeah. Sorry. I'm in a weird mood today.

    But thanks for taking the time out of your day to reply. :)

    Princess_Arulmozhi

    Weclome to the story! I like your username... interesting. So glad to see you delurked for this story. :D Makes me feel so special.

    Amazing. Love the way you brought Harken to life - and described Obi-Wan's feelings. And the descriptions of his eyes

    Thanks so much for what you said about the description. I really don't think I'm good at it, and it's pleasing to know someone at least thinks it is.

    And thanks for the up.

    ---

    No post tonight guys, sorry. :( I'm tweaking it, though, so don't lose hope! :)

    -Krystal







     
  23. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2004
    I like your username... interesting.,

    Arulmozhi means 'One who speaks the Truth', in my native tongue.
    Guess that works. :)

    And thanks for the up.

    Hah. No problem at all. Waiting for the next instalment, and wondering about Obi's fate if/when he does cut the connection...ack.

    I wish I could go into the future and read the rest of the story :)
     
  24. JediVeloJinn

    JediVeloJinn Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 2003
    Hey Krystal.

    Great post.

    I agree with Misti that there are a few sentences that need tweaking.

    heeehee I know that it's evil of me, but I like it when Obi-Wan can't move and doesn't enjoy that fact. Who would? But I'm sure that Obi-Wan bristles against his helplessness more than most people would.

    *sigh*. If Obi-Wan caught a cold, then I can certainly sympathise. My itchy throat has become painful and moved up to my nose. I don't feel tired, but I know that I'm sick because I haven't been sleeping enough lately.

    Eeep. I hope that after the Separation Drought, Obi-Wan will still be able to access the Force to the same level that he could before it.

    I look forward to more.

    Velo
     
  25. KrystalBlaze

    KrystalBlaze Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Princess_Arulmozhi -

    Hah. No problem at all. Waiting for the next instalment, and wondering about Obi's fate if/when he does cut the connection...ack.

    I wonder... I wonder...


    JediVeloJinn


    heeehee I know that it's evil of me, but I like it when Obi-Wan can't move and doesn't enjoy that fact. Who would? But I'm sure that Obi-Wan bristles against his helplessness more than most people would.

    That he does! :D

    *sigh*. If Obi-Wan caught a cold, then I can certainly sympathise. My itchy throat has become painful and moved up to my nose. I don't feel tired, but I know that I'm sick because I haven't been sleeping enough lately.

    Aw. *sends e-meds*

    Eeep. I hope that after the Separation Drought, Obi-Wan will still be able to access the Force to the same level that he could before it.

    *cackles*

    Thank you for the lovely review! :D

    ---------

    After much thought and consideration, I have decided to stop posting updates on this story for the time being. However, do not think I'm going to stop writing. I'm writing constantly, at a rate I'm frankly amazed at. Because of that, I'm going to not post an update until I'm done with the story. It's half-way done now, with what I have that I haven't posted. I'm hoping this will be the last story I'll post without it being completed beforehand.

    Sorry about this. Expect a post sometime, hopefully, in the beginning of Februrary.

    And thanks for the continued support. :)


    -Krystal


     
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